Thoughts on Attractiveness vs Unattractiveness

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MusicalMe

Guest
#1
#1
I thought about this while reading some of the posts to seoulsearch's thread on actractiveness.

Topics for discussion:

- Why didn't God make everyone beautiful/attractive?
- Why is beauty so often equated with moral goodness (especially when Hollywood starlets prove otherwise)?
- What is God's purpose (if any) for ugliness?
- What is God's purpose (if any) for physical flaws that can't be helped? (or at least can't be helped without expensive surgeries)
- We seem to have all agreed that attraction is important and it's ok for Christians to feel that way, so how should Christians feel about cosmetic surgery or other, um, enhancements, etc?

Discuss away!!
 
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incorporatestreet

Guest
#2
#2
in gods eyes everyone is beautiful, bc we all are made in HIS image.
everyone has different 'tastes' as to what they prefer....
everyone is different, and i really dont think we should measure
beauty on what is on the outside, but rather the inside.
thats how you know someone is truly beautiful.

i do not agree with plastic surgery. thats altering gods creation.
seems like a slap in the face to him, saying that what he made
isnt good enough.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
#3
Jan 3, 2007
626
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#3
incorporatestreet said:
i do not agree with plastic surgery. thats altering gods creation.
seems like a slap in the face to him, saying that what he made
isnt good enough.
Click to expand...

I would have to disagree on this part. Are you saying that people who are born with graphic face abnormalities can;t have surgery? i mean even if someone wanted to have surgery done period I see nothing wrong with that as long as you;re not giving off the appearance of evil.
 
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incorporatestreet

Guest
#4
#4
that side didnt come to mind kakashi... i was thinking about the
people who just want breast enhancements or a smaller nose, ect.
i dont agree with doing that, but if someone is born with face abnormalities,
i think that that situation is a bit different, in my opinion anyway.
 
C

Came_to_my_rescue

Guest
#5
#5
But this brings up the question what about those who aren't attractive to anybody?
What is the purpose of that?
Seems like people are dodging the question by saying "well we are attracted to different things"
But there are people that nobody is attracted to but do they deserve less love?
I believe no. But it's easier said then done I know I have walked down the street and thought "ew not him" or "hot"
 
I

incorporatestreet

Guest
#6
#6
how do you know that there are people that no one finds attractive?
yes, everyone DOES have different taste..
i personally think that atleast one person finds another person attractive.

you will have people who find others ugly, and others very attractive like
you have. everyone does that...

but we should accept everyone bc we all are created in gods image and
created equally. true, it is easier said than done sometimes.
but that is how we let our light shine is showing love to all.
 
A

ariannaaa

Guest
#7
#7
Came_to_my_rescue said:
But this brings up the question what about those who aren't attractive to anybody?
What is the purpose of that?
Seems like people are dodging the question by saying "well we are attracted to different things"
But there are people that nobody is attracted to but do they deserve less love?
I believe no. But it's easier said then done I know I have walked down the street and thought "ew not him" or "hot"
Click to expand...
cathryn! hi boo <3

there is no one out there who is not attractive to anybody. we were made in God's image!! think about how amazing that is!

He thinks we are beautiful, therefore if someone has Christ living inside him/her, he too should think we're beautiful.



I think God's purpose for ugliness is the same reason he allows there to be two sides of anything on earth. By having both ppl we are physically attracted to and people who we are not, it becomes a challenge to truly look at someone's heart like he instructs:

1 Samuel 16:7 "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart."
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
#8
Jan 3, 2007
626
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#8
Came_to_my_rescue said:
But this brings up the question what about those who aren't attractive to anybody?
What is the purpose of that?
Seems like people are dodging the question by saying "well we are attracted to different things"
Click to expand...
It's not so much dodging the question as it is true.
 
M

MusicalMe

Guest
#9
#9
It'd be nice if we can accept that we're all beautiful because we're made by God, but unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. For some, it may even create some anger issues. I, for one, have my struggles with acne. I should be way beyond the age of acne now, but it's a constant battle, with some days being worse than others. And for someone to say "God made you," it always makes me wonder why God could possibly have thought there was any reason for that. It serves no purpose other than to humiliate me or to line the pockets of the ProActiv company.

And that's not even a big issue - there are some people with disfigurations and such and whereas it's probably no trouble to love them platonically, they probably aren't going to be the prom queen or first pick to be chatted up out in the world somewhere. How do we explain to people like that that apparently God values beauty (see posts in the other attractiveness thread) but didn't deem it necessary to make them a part of it?
 
polarguyinak

polarguyinak

Moderator
Staff member
#10
Jan 30, 2009
143
9
18
#10
MusicalMe said:
- Why is beauty so often equated with moral goodness (especially when Hollywood starlets prove otherwise)?
Click to expand...
Hollywood is simply trying to play in a world of idealism. Most fairy tales describe the heroine as a girl of unsurpassing beauty as well as upstanding qualities - it is merely yet unrecognized to its potential. There are also many stories that depict someone ugly learning the meaning of real beauty (Usually more tolerable to the masses if it's a male - ie: The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Beauty and the Beast, The Ugly Duckling, and pretty much any movie with Adam Sandler in it. I use the term ''learn'' really loosely in the case of Adam Sandler).

As far as equating moral goodness with beauty, in the public arena, they tend to be inversely related because women of exceptional beauty and shallow morality often seek out the spotlight - and quickly get it! But I know many women who are, to me, exceptionally beautiful AND women of God; they're just usually grabbed up immediately and married before anyone else gets a chance to even say hi :p

MusicalMe said:
- What is God's purpose (if any) for ugliness?
Click to expand...
What is God's purpose for frailty? ...For Humility? Why would God always choose the underdog to accomplish His will? I think it's because in a world where we have the option to accept or dismiss truth, we can build our own false sense of reality. God seems to enjoy showing us HIS reality - the one in which circumstances have no effect on the outcome. There are so many ironies in the lessons we are taught this way, including the fact that a heart CAN fall in love with someone who is not the exceptional beauty. I honestly believe that God has a woman designed for me. I also believe that in MY eyes, she will BE the most beautiful girl in the world, whether before or after I fall in love with her. I want to be physically made weak in the knees by her looks, sure! But God helps us to see things the way He wants us to see them. I don't think there's anything to worry about in ''settling'' for looks on behalf of character. To you, it will not be a problem, and I don't think you will consider it ''settling'' if and when that happens. As long as your eyes are on God.

The problem is, we still have one eye peeking into our false reality...
We see circumstances and have to envision God working around them somehow in order for us to be happy. We see a reality of hot chicks being attracted to hot guys and vice versa.... hot guys are more often than not jerks and hot chicks are more often than not sluts. Modesty fades into the background while temptation plays on the edge of our minds. Why? None of the circumstances in this world are perminant. None of them mean anything against God's design. Physical beauty is subjective. THANKFULLY, spiritual beauty is completely OBJECTIVE, because we are GIVEN the standards for that. There ARE outwardly beautiful people who are beautiful inwardly too. Be patient, and remember to be looking for the important stuff first. I think God revels in using examples that break the boundaries of our worldly inclinations. Be careful not to put God in a box. He is quite capable.

Still, I think I kind of understand what Paul was saying about not getting distracted by physical relationships if you can avoid it. It seems a silly thing to get caught up in, given the priorities of our calling and the brevity of our time here. But I also understand what it feels like to long for things that I see as beautiful, because hapiness seems to surround them. Fortunately for me, I think God has taught me to refine my mind's eye a little. Try to keep your eyes in God's reality. Circumstances are likely not at ALL what you assess them to be. Happiness is attainable, and not always out of line, but it IS beside the point. We've got work to do! Let God give you your joys and desires along the way - I'm confident He WILL; and He knows them better than you doo!

All that being said, boy, will I be happy if and when I fall for the right girl!
If I do, PRAISE GOD! If I don't, PRAISE GOD!
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#11
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#11
I agree that there is a bit of question-dodging going on. We all know that we were made in God's image and that God thinks everyone is beautiful, but there is no denying that through the eyes of humans, the attractiveness of humans varies significantly.

As to the reason God created a spectrum of attractiveness, who knows? Its like asking why some people were born into poverty and others into wealth, or why God allows people's houses to be burnt down or their families to die, or why some people are happy and others are miserable. God has His reasons for this.

I think that like other afflictions such as depression, grief, poverty and loneliness, being viewed as unattractive by the world and subsequently being rejected is another thing that God allows people to experience in order that they might find Him and be drawn closer to Him. I think God uses earthly afflictions such as this to get people to breaking point so that they might come to know Him, or, if they are believers, to strengthen our faith by putting us in a position where we have to rely on Him for our wellbeing and contentment, rather than relying on earthly attributes such as attractiveness, popularity and wealth.
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#12
#12
First i wanna address the cosmetic surgery thing. I think its wrong and vain to go in and get bigger breasts or have liposuction cause you wanna lose five pounds. I do believe its okay though if you have been burned severely or you have something on your body thats abnormal. I have third degree burns and thankfully there not on my face, but still somewhere visible, and i've been wondering the same thing... should i go to a plastic surgeon, would that be right or wrong. It really is true that everyone has different tastes. Some women like really tall men, some men like really short women. Whose definition of ugly are we talkin about here? God doesnt think anyone is ugly because he made us. Its society that has told us, if that person is over weight or wears glasses or there face isnt perfect.. then there ugly. Its the womens magazines all over the place that show women ten feet tall and 90 pounds that make women feel bad about themselves, or its the mens magazines that show men with no shirts on and ripped, that make men feel bad about themselves. And i believe when we see people like that on magazines or t.v. it makes us more suseptable to being shallow, looking for a man like that or looking for a woman like that. When that is not reality. I believe for those people the world has deemed ''ugly'' have the greatest injustice, because they cant help it. You ask what is god's purpose for someone being ugly... well if he doesnt think there ugly then why would he have a purpose for just ''ugly'' people.. this may not make any sense its just my opinion.
 
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Mands

Guest
#13
#13
Oh wow so many opinions! :) Isn't it great! :)

haha

Looks most definatly do matter - but theres two ways to look at that. You can be judging people completely based on looks, and that is wrong. A persons appearence should not change the way you treat them, or intimidate you from creating a friendship with them. It is important to get to know their heart and personality. Now, if the question is about attraction then YEP looks matter. Why do you think God created us to be so intensly attracted to people at times and not at others. What I find attractive may not be attractive to another woman. But does that make either of us women a little judgmental? Kinda lol. I do not, at all, think its wrong to admit that I am not attracted to someone when I'm not. It's being honest. I could go around saying "LOOKS DON'T MATTER" - but there are two sides to that statement. Friendship and Relationship. In a friendship, its about a heart to heart connection. No romance, just a wonderful companionship. In that kind of relationship, looks should never be an issue. But when it comes to finding that "one" I am going to admit that I will not go out with someone that I am not attracted to. What would be the point of that? Does that make me seem shallow? To some, it might. But I believe God created us individually, and we are all attracted to different things, just like we all enjoy different things in life.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to be judging every man I meet purely on his looks. That WOULD BE shallow. And I can assure you, I'm not that! :) Maybe I'm not the best at explaining this haha. I just think that in every day life, looks shouldn't matter - and it shouldn't change the respect we show to another person we come in contact with. BUT when it comes to finding that person we are going to fall in love with, we will definatly be attracted to them! Saying "yes I am attracted to them" or "nope, I'm not" is not wrong. Its being honest and real.

Attraction isn't the same for everyone - and it's not always physical - (tho that does add to it) :)

Some men I'll be attracted to, and others I wont be.

Simple as that

<3
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#14
#14
I find both Hugh Jackman and Sean Connery attractive.....explain that people!! lol
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
#16
Jan 3, 2007
626
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#16
Mands said:
Oh wow so many opinions! :) Isn't it great! :)

haha

Looks most definatly do matter - but theres two ways to look at that. You can be judging people completely based on looks, and that is wrong. A persons appearence should not change the way you treat them, or intimidate you from creating a friendship with them. It is important to get to know their heart and personality. Now, if the question is about attraction then YEP looks matter. Why do you think God created us to be so intensly attracted to people at times and not at others. What I find attractive may not be attractive to another woman. But does that make either of us women a little judgmental? Kinda lol. I do not, at all, think its wrong to admit that I am not attracted to someone when I'm not. It's being honest. I could go around saying "LOOKS DON'T MATTER" - but there are two sides to that statement. Friendship and Relationship. In a friendship, its about a heart to heart connection. No romance, just a wonderful companionship. In that kind of relationship, looks should never be an issue. But when it comes to finding that "one" I am going to admit that I will not go out with someone that I am not attracted to. What would be the point of that? Does that make me seem shallow? To some, it might. But I believe God created us individually, and we are all attracted to different things, just like we all enjoy different things in life.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to be judging every man I meet purely on his looks. That WOULD BE shallow. And I can assure you, I'm not that! :) Maybe I'm not the best at explaining this haha. I just think that in every day life, looks shouldn't matter - and it shouldn't change the respect we show to another person we come in contact with. BUT when it comes to finding that person we are going to fall in love with, we will definatly be attracted to them! Saying "yes I am attracted to them" or "nope, I'm not" is not wrong. Its being honest and real.

Attraction isn't the same for everyone - and it's not always physical - (tho that does add to it) :)

Some men I'll be attracted to, and others I wont be.

Simple as that

<3
Click to expand...

I completely, 100%, totally agree!
 
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Mands

Guest
#18
#18
Lol oh and attraction must be a matter of opinion! And I think it changes from woman to woman - because I for one find Johnny Depp as HOT as can be, but my mother thinks I'm crazy :p hahahaha
 
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chelsers

Guest
#19
#19
Mands said:
Lol oh and attraction must be a matter of opinion! And I think it changes from woman to woman - because I for one find Johnny Depp as HOT as can be, but my mother thinks I'm crazy :p hahahaha
Click to expand...
Ha, I find Jeff Goldblum attractive as can be but my mom also thinks I'm crazy :)
 
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