Ughidy ugh ugh!!!

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CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
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#1
Ughidy ugh ugh,

Psssst everyone and anyone sporting preconceived notions of ppl based only on one's experiences alone. Stop that please!!! You are limiting your resources, thus providing fallible perceptions that set you up for inevitable and unbecoming outcomes.

For example…

My dad was a bit of a male chauvinist, mostly because of his era. He was a big man who was often harsh and cold, especially with women and girls. He had so many strengths, don't get me wrong. I miss my Dad so much. He was just a bit narrow in his thinking. I then was in a relationship with a man who wanted me to provide economically for him, while I also was also supposed to be the subservient helpmate in every other way. Yes, he wanted a sugarmama but also one who would obey. He was controlling and abusive.

I was not blameless. I had my own set of predisposed ideas going into this relationship based on my upbringing. The baggage I took from my youth, not just with my dad but the different stuff we all acquire along the way, set me up for this inevitable and destructive path. God, however, has blessed and used all of my past to teach and to show; He has helped me grow. I am so grateful for His providence.

I have come to realise that though our encounters with twisted ideas and mindsets help mold and shape our own ways of thinking, especially in the formative years, I think it is important to strive our very best to keep a childlike, humble and teachable, mindset; we must be intentional in our quest to be free from all the stuff and clutter that clouds our perceptions. Otherwise, they will probably perpetuate more of the toxic behaviors, mindsets and encounters.

I have read and seen so much things said like, “women this” or “men that”....ughidy ugh ugh!!


Our experiences should teach us the potentials of mankind, showing us where we ourselves need to grow and what to avoid. They, in my humble opinion, should not be used to show us how everyone is. For crying out loud, if you keep running into the same kind of people, maybe it's cause you are thinking the same kind of way.


Ughidy ugh [email protected] narrow minded perceptions that feed off of humanities weaknesses, not allowing for variation or growth outside of those labels and boxes. May we seek to find the truth of His word in the way we love and deal with others. May there be less focus on human error and potentials. May we instead move onward and upward towards believing He dwells alive and well in the lives of our Brothers and Sisters. It helps our growth when we surround ourselves with those who not only love mercy (as we are called), but also believe in our capacity to do grow. After all, we limit our Savior and Sanctifier when we negate to remember that with Him all things are possible.


Ok now that I got out that rant, think I need a good laugh.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
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113
#2
Basically in a nut shell.... Come on, let's all GROW together, shall we?
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
3,406
113
#3
When I listen to an opinionated person, who backs up their points with an arsenal of insults, I usually stop looking at the validity of their views. It is at that point the quality of one's integrity and character come into question. Most would call this a form of discernment.

The integrity of the content becomes skewed, when the character and delivery of the one holding the opinions are compromised.

Just saying
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
1,939
1,673
113
#4
When I listen to an opinionated person, who backs up their points with an arsenal of insults, I usually stop looking at the validity of their views. It is at that point the quality of one's integrity and character come into question. Most would call this a form of discernment.

The integrity of the content becomes skewed, when the character and delivery of the one holding the opinions are compromised.

Just saying
Right, esp politics here. I had a rude awakening w/an answer I gave on Socialism, just voicing some random thoughts. Also, it's like u have to hate every liberal or any party that's not yours. I understand why most Christians are Rep and I lean that way but I don't lose it over issues. Btw I was reading one of your older threads in the singles section where u gave your age. If u don't mind, is that u in your icon? Either way your a lovely person!
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
3,406
113
#5
Right, esp politics here. I had a rude awakening w/an answer I gave on Socialism, just voicing some random thoughts. Also, it's like u have to hate every liberal or any party that's not yours. I understand why most Christians are Rep and I lean that way but I don't lose it over issues. Btw I was reading one of your older threads in the singles section where u gave your age. If u don't mind, is that u in your icon? Either way your a lovely person!
Well thank you Sister, we seem to agree on the civility and integrity, huh? Thanks for not losing it. I am the one in the center, the 2 beautiful girls next to me are my darling daughters. Yes, I am a mama and a mimi.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
1,939
1,673
113
#7
Well thank you Sister, we seem to agree on the civility and integrity, huh? Thanks for not losing it. I am the one in the center, the 2 beautiful girls next to me are my darling daughters. Yes, I am a mama and a mimi.
Gorgeous smiles all around. I think I remember u saying something about finding a husband?
 

1christian1

Active member
Sep 13, 2018
671
199
43
#9
Ughidy ugh ugh,

Psssst everyone and anyone sporting preconceived notions of ppl based only on one's experiences alone. Stop that please!!! You are limiting your resources, thus providing fallible perceptions that set you up for inevitable and unbecoming outcomes.

For example…

My dad was a bit of a male chauvinist, mostly because of his era. He was a big man who was often harsh and cold, especially with women and girls. He had so many strengths, don't get me wrong. I miss my Dad so much. He was just a bit narrow in his thinking. I then was in a relationship with a man who wanted me to provide economically for him, while I also was also supposed to be the subservient helpmate in every other way. Yes, he wanted a sugarmama but also one who would obey. He was controlling and abusive.

I was not blameless. I had my own set of predisposed ideas going into this relationship based on my upbringing. The baggage I took from my youth, not just with my dad but the different stuff we all acquire along the way, set me up for this inevitable and destructive path. God, however, has blessed and used all of my past to teach and to show; He has helped me grow. I am so grateful for His providence.

I have come to realise that though our encounters with twisted ideas and mindsets help mold and shape our own ways of thinking, especially in the formative years, I think it is important to strive our very best to keep a childlike, humble and teachable, mindset; we must be intentional in our quest to be free from all the stuff and clutter that clouds our perceptions. Otherwise, they will probably perpetuate more of the toxic behaviors, mindsets and encounters.

I have read and seen so much things said like, “women this” or “men that”....ughidy ugh ugh!!


Our experiences should teach us the potentials of mankind, showing us where we ourselves need to grow and what to avoid. They, in my humble opinion, should not be used to show us how everyone is. For crying out loud, if you keep running into the same kind of people, maybe it's cause you are thinking the same kind of way.


Ughidy ugh [email protected] narrow minded perceptions that feed off of humanities weaknesses, not allowing for variation or growth outside of those labels and boxes. May we seek to find the truth of His word in the way we love and deal with others. May there be less focus on human error and potentials. May we instead move onward and upward towards believing He dwells alive and well in the lives of our Brothers and Sisters. It helps our growth when we surround ourselves with those who not only love mercy (as we are called), but also believe in our capacity to do grow. After all, we limit our Savior and Sanctifier when we negate to remember that with Him all things are possible.


Ok now that I got out that rant, think I need a good laugh.
Amen Charli..
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
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113
#10
Gorgeous smiles all around. I think I remember u saying something about finding a husband?
Well I'm not on a quest to find a fella. I put that in my Lords hands. If He wants me living my remaining years with another He'll let me know. Otherwise I accept my place all wrapped up in His arms, just Him and I. Sometimes I yearn, but He keeps telling me.. Thou shalt not want.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
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113
#11
Gorgeous smiles all around. I think I remember u saying something about finding a husband?
Oh and sweetie, I think happiness resides in Him being the desires of our hearts single or not. What do you think?
 

1christian1

Active member
Sep 13, 2018
671
199
43
#12
Well I'm not on a quest to find a fella. I put that in my Lords hands. If He wants me living my remaining years with another He'll let me know. Otherwise I accept my place all wrapped up in His arms, just Him and I. Sometimes I yearn, but He keeps telling me.. Thou shalt not want.
Yeah, but would'nt it be nice to have both...
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
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#13
Yeah, but would'nt it be nice to have both...
Well yes, I certainly suppose so. But what if I don't get that I do, I don't want to live my life in the state of boo hoo, lol. I had to try and be clever, hahaha.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
1,939
1,673
113
#14
Oh and sweetie, I think happiness resides in Him being the desires of our hearts single or not. What do you think?
For sure HE is our everything. However, both my husbands r in Heaven (no I'm not responsible...I hope not anyway) and my son's dad is kind of a vagabond after I kicked him out. Every week at Bible study we fill out a prayer req card and every wk I put 'a husband perfect for me from God'. 'He gives us the desires of our hearts that our joy might b full'. Remember the parable in the Bible where the woman keeps asking the unjust judge to avenge her of her enemies and after her continual badgering he gives in. Then Jesus says basically 'How much more will your Father in Heaven, who is perfect, give something to you when u ask?' Well, I'm going to b that woman and just keep reminding Him (lovingly) that He said 'If we ask Him anything in Jesus' name He will give it to us if we believe, and I DO. So I believe my God-send is on the way. A lot of couples I've heard did find ea other online, even at Church ie E-Harmony which I'm holding off on. Lately I'm sensing the Holy Spirit hinting to start volunteering at Church. So I'd been putting it off until last nite at Church they announced they need volunteers for their 'HarvestFest' on Halloween eve. I signed up today and go for fingerprinting during Sun service. Wish me luck gurl!
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
3,406
113
#15
For sure HE is our everything. However, both my husbands r in Heaven (no I'm not responsible...I hope not anyway) and my son's dad is kind of a vagabond after I kicked him out. Every week at Bible study we fill out a prayer req card and every wk I put 'a husband perfect for me from God'. 'He gives us the desires of our hearts that our joy might b full'. Remember the parable in the Bible where the woman keeps asking the unjust judge to avenge her of her enemies and after her continual badgering he gives in. Then Jesus says basically 'How much more will your Father in Heaven, who is perfect, give something to you when u ask?' Well, I'm going to b that woman and just keep reminding Him (lovingly) that He said 'If we ask Him anything in Jesus' name He will give it to us if we believe, and I DO. So I believe my God-send is on the way. A lot of couples I've heard did find ea other online, even at Church ie E-Harmony which I'm holding off on. Lately I'm sensing the Holy Spirit hinting to start volunteering at Church. So I'd been putting it off until last nite at Church they announced they need volunteers for their 'HarvestFest' on Halloween eve. I signed up today and go for fingerprinting during Sun service. Wish me luck gurl!
I support and respect your thoughts and I will pray this for you too. I'm so sorry about your losses. I just trust that God will bring for me, or not bring me, whatever He thinks is best, for my best life in Him. I am excited for you with the harvestfest..
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
14,266
2,093
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#16
Humans (and many other creatures for that matter) tend to use past experience to evaluate new events because it makes reaction time faster. While this can be a very good thing for survival, it also makes for a LOT of snap judgments that are wrong.

Unfortunately the older you get, the more experience you have and the easier it is to say "Oh this is just like that other experience" and place new things in the wrong category instead of really investigating new things.

What to do to rectify this? Uh... *shrug* Beats me. You can notice the tendency in yourself and try to correct it, but other people are gonna do it no matter how much you point it out to them. It's an awareness thing, and something you can't really teach people.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
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113
#17
Humans (and many other creatures for that matter) tend to use past experience to evaluate new events because it makes reaction time faster. While this can be a very good thing for survival, it also makes for a LOT of snap judgments that are wrong.

Unfortunately the older you get, the more experience you have and the easier it is to say "Oh this is just like that other experience" and place new things in the wrong category instead of really investigating new things.

What to do to rectify this? Uh... *shrug* Beats me. You can notice the tendency in yourself and try to correct it, but other people are gonna do it no matter how much you point it out to them. It's an awareness thing, and something you can't really teach people.
You are spot on, I couldn't agree more. Well said!!!
 
Aug 2, 2009
22,501
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#18
The problem is that once a person's trust is broken by someone they love... someone they chose out of all the others.... someone they thought was a little more perfect than the rest.... someone they felt was completely trustworthy with their love.... When that dream is broken and that special, deep, undying trust you had is shattered into a million pieces.... it can completely change one's perception of the opposite sex. It shouldn't, but it often does. Like I once said in another thread... pain is a great teacher.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,012
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#19
The problem is that once a person's trust is broken by someone they love... someone they chose out of all the others.... someone they thought was a little more perfect than the rest.... someone they felt was completely trustworthy with their love.... When that dream is broken and that special, deep, undying trust you had is shattered into a million pieces.... it can completely change one's perception of the opposite sex. It shouldn't, but it often does. Like I once said in another thread... pain is a great teacher.
A great teacher but also a great stumbling block for reasons you just expressed and describe. Baggage can be the luggage we use to get us further, but not if it is becomes jaded and skewed unwilling for anything renewed. I guess Zero, it comes down to balance, huh?
 
Aug 2, 2009
22,501
2,291
113
#20
A great teacher but also a great stumbling block for reasons you just expressed and describe. Baggage can be the luggage we use to get us further, but not if it is becomes jaded and skewed unwilling for anything renewed. I guess Zero, it comes down to balance, huh?
I think it comes down to courage. It takes courage to try again and not let the pain destroy all hope.