Wait- how does this work?!?! A spiritual "contradiction"

[MahogonySnail]

I don't consider playing with toys a sign of immaturity. That wasn't my point at all. My point was you don't have to be doing adult things as a teenager to show maturity. But I think having a baby at 15 or talking about marriage at that age is a sign of immaturity. Getting a job at that age because you don't have to, to spend on things you don't really need, is a sign of immaturity.
Biologically speaking maturity does not occur until mid 20's and today's teens couldnt' cope with the responsibilities of adults. So scientifically the evidence weights in favour of later ages, mid 20's or later.

In Australia there's talk of raising the adult age to 21 or higher again. Alcohol abuse , (binge drinking) and road fatalities makes this necessary.
Teenagers die on the roads not just because the large proportion of drink drivers and hoons are teens, but because they don't have the abilities to judge and react to hazardous situations on the roads until their brain matures more fully.

 

[Vidy]

I don't consider playing with toys a sign of immaturity. That wasn't my point at all. My point was you don't have to be doing adult things as a teenager to show maturity. But I think having a baby at 15 or talking about marriage at that age is a sign of immaturity. Getting a job at that age because you don't have to, to spend on things you don't really need, is a sign of immaturity.
Biologically speaking maturity does not occur until mid 20's and today's teens couldnt' cope with the responsibilities of adults. So scientifically the evidence weights in favour of later ages, mid 20's or later.

In Australia there's talk of raising the adult age to 21 or higher again. Alcohol abuse , (binge drinking) and road fatalities makes this necessary.
Teenagers die on the roads not just because the large proportion of drink drivers and hoons are teens, but because they don't have the abilities to judge and react to hazardous situations on the roads until their brain matures more fully.

I don't consider toys immaturity either. I still watch VeggieTales and Nickelodean, because I love the shows =) Nothing immature about "kiddy" things at all. But saying "You need to be playing with these kiddy things and NOTHING else," implies that you have no maturity. Basically, you can see an adult playing with toys, but you'll never see a 3-year old working a full-time job.

Also, I don't consider early pregnancy and marriage talk or jobs signs of maturity either. Pregnancy outside of marriage or immature regardless of the situation. Marriage talk and an unnecessary job don't say, "Hey, this person is mature." However, when you >ARE< mature, it is natural to want to desire those two things, and you may just naturally move towards them. It's not an effort to say, "Hey, I'm mature!"

And for the "full development" crap. That's exactly what it is- crap. How can you explain the thousands of years in which a "young adulthood" worked just fine? It has nothing to do with physical development- It's ALL society. Yes, this whole age thing is just on factor in it (other factors include a general stray away from religion and a total self-focus). But the problem isn't people of a younger age wanting to be more mature than they are. The problem is people are supposed to be at a certain level of maturity at a certain age, but are forced to remain with the "immature" little kid toys, and they either rebel or refuse to grow.

Just the way I see things ^_^

 

[DinoDillinger]

Who said God put people together who were totally compatible? There is no example in scripture of that and to me it seems mostly an idea of the 'world'.

 

[Pete_Martinez]

Who said God put people together who were totally compatible? There is no example in scripture of that and to me it seems mostly an idea of the 'world'.

I agree! hm... have you been watching Paul Washer sermons?

 

[MahogonySnail]

And for the "full development" crap. That's exactly what it is- crap. How can you explain the thousands of years in which a "young adulthood" worked just fine? It has nothing to do with physical development- It's ALL society. Yes, this whole age thing is just on factor in it (other factors include a general stray away from religion and a total self-focus). But the problem isn't people of a younger age wanting to be more mature than they are. The problem is people are supposed to be at a certain level of maturity at a certain age, but are forced to remain with the "immature" little kid toys, and they either rebel or refuse to grow.

It's not crap it's what the medical profession tells us. There are biological reasons for why teens do more stupid things than people in their mid to late 20's. It has to do with biological development of the brain. There's plenty of articles you can read about it like this one:
Online NewsHour: Research Indicates Teen Brains Work Differently Than Adults -- October 13, 2004

But I didn't find out about this from websites I first heard it from a doctor friend of mine who specialises in human development and life expectancy.

 

[Vidy]

It's not crap it's what the medical profession tells us. There are biological reasons for why teens do more stupid things than people in their mid to late 20's. It has to do with biological development of the brain. There's plenty of articles you can read about it like this one:
Online NewsHour: Research Indicates Teen Brains Work Differently Than Adults -- October 13, 2004

But I didn't find out about this from websites I first heard it from a doctor friend of mine who specialises in human development and life expectancy.

And this generalizes teens in a negative way. It is used to show that teenagers are not at "the same level" as adults, and this is NOT TRUE. I'm sure you will agree that there are some very mature teens, and some very immature adults. Maturity isn't necessarily complete conformity into what others want you to do (though in some cases, conformity isn't really bad). Complete rebellion BECAUSE an authority expects conformity is also immaturity XD

But anyway, the teen brain works differently- And? It's a psychological problem, and these kinds of problems are influenced by society. I may think differently in 10 years than I do now (though I doubt it, since I've thought similarly my entire life tbh). I've always been able to make good judgment calls. Saying a teen is bound to make a lot of bad judgments, while saying adults will more often make good ones, is a >harmful< stereotype.

And define the "stupid things" that teens will do. I'm pretty sure I will never touch drugs or start drama wars or stupid crap that middle schoolers normally get into. I may get married young, but there's nothing wrong with that if I make sure I have acceptable means to support myself and wife and any potential children. Where's the immaturity in that?

 

[zeroturbulence]

Ok, I'm not going to get into ALL of the details, but this is the general story-

To start off, since many people tend to assume I'm older, I'm going to say that I'm 17 and she's 15. It was also a distanced relationship. Our parents supported the relationship, even though in full honesty I think her mom was kinda two-faced on the issue and helped influenced the outcome of this, but that's a different story.

Well, about 2 months ago, her mom gave us each a copy of a book. We were to read 1 chapter a day, and were to kinda use it as a guide to spark spiritual discussion, because we hadn't had too much of God in our relationship and both wanted Him to be a part of it, considering that He undoubtedly had a large part in starting it (also a different story).

Well, about a month and a week ago, before a D-Now weekend she went to, we got in a small disagreement over something. One of the last chapters talked about compatibility, and she said that she didn't think we were compatible in every way- The biggest two being a disagreement in "One Perfect Plan/spouse/path you are supposed to take" and the other being that she had a desire to travel, and I did not. I think some things in that discussion that I had said made her uncomfortable, and (without me knowing) she had shown it to her mother.

So, over her D-Now weekend, I had no contact with her. Seeing as we'd just had a disagreement, I figured the Bible would be a good place to go to find the answers I needed. We had a disagreement that partly had to do with God, so why not see what He has to say on the issue?

So, I spend the weekend studying my Bible and praying and stuff, and by the end of the weekend, I haven't talked to her in days and I'm fully prepared to tell her what I had found, and what I believed God was telling me. Ironically, it was that I believed that we COULD end up together if we wanted *insert more "One Perfect Plan/spouse/path disagreement" + actual biblical support*.

Well, she gets back from the weekend and she doesn't want to talk to me much, and is really kinda avoiding me. I get concerned and talk to her mom, who was actually mad at me for some things I had said in the conversation before (though I still had no idea, and none of it had been directed at el madre anyway). I finally get to talk to her, but for reasons I hadn't understood, I couldn't talk about ANYTHING relationship/future/argument/ect, until I had talked to the father first, who happened to be unavailable for a few days.

Finally, the big conversation comes up- She is breaking up with me. She says she still loves me, but she couldn't get her mind off of me and our relationship was becoming a distraction in her relationship with God. This I understand, and I was totally up for a break in the relationship if she needed one- But here's the kicker. She also said that she doesn't expect us to ever end up back together again. For some reason (and she still won't tell me why), she believes that we just won't be together.

So, here's the contradiction- Basically, my relationship with God has led me to believe that a relationship with her is perfectly acceptable, and I may pursue it if I wish. Her relationship with God is telling her that she shouldn't be with me, even though she wants to.

So who's right here? Which one of us is hearing what God really has to say? I'm really confused and hurt after all of this, and I don't want to lay blame to her and call her wrong, or accuse her of not having a right relationship with God. I'm just searching for answers, because it's a month after the fact and I STILL have no clue what's going on and why ='(

What ever happened to two young people falling in love and just having fun together and enjoying each other's company??? All this stuff about specific compatibility areas, required reading(??!!!), etc...shouldnt even enter the equation. Why? Because of what happened here. It just causes problems. Sorry it ruined your chances with this girl. It probably could have been something beautiful, even though I think 15 is a little young to be in a "relationship".

If you want a flower to blossom you dont put it in a box. You nourish it, give it plenty of fresh air, water and sunshine and you let it grow at its own pace. I think all this compatibility stuff is like trying to put love in a box. It just suffocates it.

 

[Matthew]

And this generalizes teens in a negative way. It is used to show that teenagers are not at "the same level" as adults, and this is NOT TRUE. I'm sure you will agree that there are some very mature teens, and some very immature adults. Maturity isn't necessarily complete conformity into what others want you to do (though in some cases, conformity isn't really bad). Complete rebellion BECAUSE an authority expects conformity is also immaturity XD

You are broadly correct in your points, teenagers are stereotyped and it has negative effects but you should also realise that adults are stereotyped by teenagers, your posts here are a perfect example of the other side of the issue, many teenagers, including the self-proclaimed 'more mature than others my age' will stereotype adults in just as damaging a way by thinking that all adults have the same narrow minded view of all teenagers.

That said it is a simple and undeniable truth that teenagers are not on the same level of adults, what needs to change is something that never will, and that is teenagers being so sensitive to simple facts of life.

Adults are on another level because speaking in broad terms they have experienced more and that leads to greater understanding and greater wisdom, humans compile knowledge through experience and a 30 year old has a lot more than a 17 year old, FACT.

The lesson that needs to be learned by both adults and teenagers is that those broad facts do not mean they can speak with certainty about the character or maturity of any individual they come across because everyone is ultimately different in how quickly they grow to genuine maturity, but in general it is fair to say, it is not a negative thing or a harmful thing to say that you are not on my level, you are 10 years younger so how could you possibly be? it's just a fact of life and not something to rally against.

 

[Vidy]

You are broadly correct in your points, teenagers are stereotyped and it has negative effects but you should also realise that adults are stereotyped by teenagers, your posts here are a perfect example of the other side of the issue, many teenagers, including the self-proclaimed 'more mature than others my age' will stereotype adults in just as damaging a way by thinking that all adults have the same narrow minded view of all teenagers.

That said it is a simple and undeniable truth that teenagers are not on the same level of adults, what needs to change is something that never will, and that is teenagers being so sensitive to simple facts of life.

Adults are on another level because speaking in broad terms they have experienced more and that leads to greater understanding and greater wisdom, humans compile knowledge through experience and a 30 year old has a lot more than a 17 year old, FACT.

The lesson that needs to be learned by both adults and teenagers is that those broad facts do not mean they can speak with certainty about the character or maturity of any individual they come across because everyone is ultimately different in how quickly they grow to genuine maturity, but in general it is fair to say, it is not a negative thing or a harmful thing to say that you are not on my level, you are 10 years younger so how could you possibly be? it's just a fact of life and not something to rally against.

Age doesn't always mean experience =P But that being said, when adults claim they have experience, that doesn't mean much for me anyway. Unless you have faced my EXACT situation, experience that you have had is almost useless (almost). There are tidbits where two different scenarios may have a few like factors, and the way to deal with those factors alone is in the other person's experience. However, the entire situation cannot be resolved that way.

Also, "experience" from the stance of "I've seen it happen" from MY experience is almost always skewed. They weren't in the situation, and don't know exactly what happened or why. It's not firsthand experience, and is generally vague and not helpful =/

"You are 10 years younger so how can you possible be on my level?" Your level of WHAT? The difference in responsibility is the biggest issue, but that's what I'm trying to point out- when we TRY to assume some responsibility in things, we get knocked down for "trying to be too mature too young," when reaching for this maturity at that age is what we're SUPPOSED to do. Society has it wrong =/ But anyway, as far as experience goes, I'm sure that my experiences in the first few years on my own will make the difference almost irrelevant =P What makes a 60 year old more credible than a 50 year old... I mean, there's a 10 year difference, right?

I am not trying to say all adults are bad, or misunderstanding, or that they treat teens like immature brats (though the ones that do really get on my nerves sometimes lol). But I'm saying that there's enough of them that society has formed around that idea, and it's harmful to those that ARE maturing. I mean, if a 15 year old girl decided to work hard and get a job for extra cash (while making sure no other parts of her life were failing), would you say, "No, you need to go back to playing Barbie." REALLY? That's crushing and totally unnecessary.


How are teens expected to get this experience if they can't DO anything? You have experience in "mature" matters because you participated in "mature" matters. Just like you won't learn anything about cars while playing Hot Wheels, you won't learn anything about real relationships until you get into them ~_o

 

[Vidy]

What ever happened to two young people falling in love and just having fun together and enjoying each other's company??? All this stuff about specific compatibility areas, required reading(??!!!), etc...shouldnt even enter the equation. Why? Because of what happened here. It just causes problems. Sorry it ruined your chances with this girl. It probably could have been something beautiful, even though I think 15 is a little young to be in a "relationship".

If you want a flower to blossom you dont put it in a box. You nourish it, give it plenty of fresh air, water and sunshine and you let it grow at its own pace. I think all this compatibility stuff is like trying to put love in a box. It just suffocates it.

*sigh* Yeah, it was a really frustrating experience with her mom's involvement. She encouraged us to grow in our relationship, and then she's like "No, you can't get too emotionally attached!" and when I said "what's wrong with emotional attachment? 0_o" she pretty much told me that she doesn't know what kind of man I'll be when I'm out from under my parents... That she doesn't trust me 0_o

But anyway, she encouraged the relationship, and then tried to keep it from growing =( That was what her mom was mad at me about, because I had these feelings (though I had nothing specific on it) and mentioned that I felt our relationship was being "poisoned" by her mom (even though right after I stated that I knew she had good intentions). Her mom found out and got ticked about that phrase I had used *sigh*

But yeah, I hope all chances aren't ruined. I still love her a lot, and unless she's lied to me, she loves me too, so... Yeah, still dunno what Imma do about it ='(

 

[Matthew]

I'm not saying teenagers should be forced to remain as children, of course not, teenage years are a time of transition which is why striking a balance between youthful activities and adult activities is such a difficult thing.

The point I am making here is that it is a two-way street, you keep saying how can teenagers become adults if not allowed to behave like them etc... that is true but adults have a responisibilty to ensure teenagers do not over-reach themselves and that is something that no 'mature' 17 year old can fully appreciate, and that is more what I meant when I spoke of being on adult level, that cannot be fully understood until you are past that time in your own life.

Sometimes being restrained as a teenager seems like a 'damaging' thing, but how can you know it didn't save you from a horrible mistake? not the adult nor the teenager can be sure of what might happen it''s all a judgement call.

The fact is adults do have the knowledge of experience, it may not be specifically applicable to your life and your situation because each is unique but that lack of specificity is not a reason to allow it, adults have to make the best judgement they can with the additonal life experience they have.

When I said you are not on my level it wasn't meant as condescending, it is a general rule of thumb, there will be exceptions in life and perhaps you are one, that remains to be seen, but generally speaking as someone who has lived through my formative years and had the best part of a decade to reflect on them I would say that yes I do have more understanding of human relationsips, serious situations, emotional maturity and other things, we all grow with the more life we experience so it is simple logic, when you are 27 years old I do not doubt you will rightly consider yourself a little wiser and more mature than any reasonably mature and repsonsible 17 year old.

 

[artistic_dreams]

i think you are both very young...especially her.....to be in a commited relationship...considering it will be long distance....shes got 3 more years of school..there is prom and all kinds of other dances and shes going to want to want to have boyfriends that are there w/her to take her to those things and also homecoming and such...she is in a time that she should not be in a commited long distant relationship of any kind...shes growing through puberty and discovering who she is......you are 17 and about to be 18 so u can go off to college and out into the world.....it is 2 completely different worlds.....i say you need to just relax and let her live her life the way she wants.....she does not want the relationship.....so you need to find a way to let go.....if it is meant for the 2 of you to be together in the future then it will happen....but on gods time and not yours or hers.....blessings to you

 

[Vidy]

i think you are both very young...especially her.....to be in a commited relationship...considering it will be long distance....shes got 3 more years of school..there is prom and all kinds of other dances and shes going to want to want to have boyfriends that are there w/her to take her to those things and also homecoming and such...she is in a time that she should not be in a commited long distant relationship of any kind...shes growing through puberty and discovering who she is......you are 17 and about to be 18 so u can go off to college and out into the world.....it is 2 completely different worlds.....i say you need to just relax and let her live her life the way she wants.....she does not want the relationship.....so you need to find a way to let go.....if it is meant for the 2 of you to be together in the future then it will happen....but on gods time and not yours or hers.....blessings to you

I don't think distance was much of a problem honestly. Both of our parents were willing to make a few small time/money sacrifices to give us occasional time together (averaging slightly less than once a month), and they planned to come to my prom and/or graduation. Prom's off (duh), but they may still come to graduation if it doesn't conflict with surgery her mom's having (maybe).

Again, no empathy for the "discovering who you are" thing. I'm not saying it's not important, just saying I never went through it and can't understand that, even if I wanted to =/

And half the things she says say she wants this relationship a lot, and the other half say she doesn't. I sense something off there, though my friend said I might be looking too far into it.


So, how's this sound for what I should do?-


Ok, so she's worried about me not dating anyone else and waiting for her when she can't guarantee anything. However, she also told me that if we weren't "meant to be" (another load of crap statement IMO), then there would be someone better for me. So I make HER the new standard. Basically, I have a dating standard (Christian, active faith, still a virgin, ranks at least an 8 on ma scale)... And then beyond that, she has to be at least ALMOST as good as she was. Basically, I give other people a chance instead of auto-rejecting everyone. Then, in 3 years when she is no longer under the authority of her mom, then if I haven't found anyone (again, I'm doubtful... Anyone topping her showing any interest in me would be, without a doubt, and act from God lol) in 3 years... Then I go after her as hard as I can.

I also want to tell her this now, so she won't be worried about me not dating anyone (and that worry is probably what's getting her to attempt to hook me up with random people she barely knows -.-). However, should I leave out the part about coming after her in 3 years? Or should I just not tell her anything at all?

Anyway, sound like a good, reasonable plan? Or do I still seem too disoriented from the initial shock to be making any decisions?

Oh, and another part of the plan- Even if she DOES want me back sometime in the next year (doubtful), I go my first year of college single. First of all, to enhance the importance of God in both of our lives... Secondly, 'cause I'm usually youngest of my grade, so the college girls will be older than me and I'm not really into that =P Not ruling anything out age-wise, but it's a preference lol.

 

[MahogonySnail]

And this generalizes teens in a negative way. It is used to show that teenagers are not at "the same level" as adults, and this is NOT TRUE. I'm sure you will agree that there are some very mature teens, and some very immature adults. Maturity isn't necessarily complete conformity into what others want you to do (though in some cases, conformity isn't really bad). Complete rebellion BECAUSE an authority expects conformity is also immaturity XD

But anyway, the teen brain works differently- And? It's a psychological problem, and these kinds of problems are influenced by society. I may think differently in 10 years than I do now (though I doubt it, since I've thought similarly my entire life tbh). I've always been able to make good judgment calls. Saying a teen is bound to make a lot of bad judgments, while saying adults will more often make good ones, is a >harmful< stereotype.

And define the "stupid things" that teens will do. I'm pretty sure I will never touch drugs or start drama wars or stupid crap that middle schoolers normally get into. I may get married young, but there's nothing wrong with that if I make sure I have acceptable means to support myself and wife and any potential children. Where's the immaturity in that?

There is biological proof that the teenage brain is not as fully developed as once thought. So you can't make yourself 'mature enough' as a teenager if your brain isn't yet fully developed. When you get to mid 20's you will be able to tell the difference and how much more mature you are then than you were a decade earlier. A sign of maturity is not just making good adult decisions but also being emotionally stable and the rational thought processes being much more well-defined. If your brain isn't developed in those areas yet because of your age, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

 

[Vidy]

There is biological proof that the teenage brain is not as fully developed as once thought. So you can't make yourself 'mature enough' as a teenager if your brain isn't yet fully developed. When you get to mid 20's you will be able to tell the difference and how much more mature you are then than you were a decade earlier. A sign of maturity is not just making good adult decisions but also being emotionally stable and the rational thought processes being much more well-defined. If your brain isn't developed in those areas yet because of your age, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

This, IMO, is poor logic. Here's a similar example using a less serious topic-

"For the past 20 years, our company has used oak wood in the production of our toys. However, we just recently found evidence that mahogany wood is actually far more stable and water resistant than oak is, so now we are going to be making all of our toys of mahogany. Sure, the toys will now cost 10 times as much, but it's made of much better material now!"


As far as the actual factuality of those statements, I have no clue, since I know nothing of wood. But do you get the point? It DID work in the past. Finding scientific "evidence" that it doesn't work has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of. As far as emotionally stable and rational thinking, I think I have those covered. Sure, this right now is emotionally wrecking me, but it's something that would be just as wrecking for adults, as it's an unusual circumstance ~_o And rational thinking, I've had that since a little kid XD It doesn't take an adult to think rationally.

 

[MahogonySnail]

I said the rational thought processes will be more defined. I didn't say teens didn't have rational thinking ability.

Your example with toys doesn't really make sense to me. What was your point exactly? Do you deny the scientific evidence that teens brains aren't fully developed , if so where's your proof?

I think that teens have always been less mature than people in their mid 20's and older and now science has the explanations why that is so. It's To be specific, it's the areas of the brain associated with risky behaviour that aren't fully developed. Teens are the worst drivers on the road despite their youth, and this is due to the brain:

Brain Immaturity Could Explain Teen Crash Rate (washingtonpost.com)

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I agree with everything Snail is saying. i also do not believe teenagers are equipped to be able to handle the stress of what adults do. I think they would crack under the pressure, Theres no way a teenager could Get a full time job, get married, raise a family, find somewhere to live and have a stable environment. Some adults cant even manage this, what makes you think a 15 or 16 year old could. Teenagers as children are innately selfish. You still live with your mom and dads, you dont have to worry about anything but going to school and doing your homework! Why would you wanna grow up faster than you have to. Sometimes i wish i was still in my teens so i wouldnt have to take on all the responsibilities that i have to now........ just sayin

 

[Vidy]

^^And that is exactly what I'm talking about. You assume that because some adults fail, all teens will. I won't deny that MORE teens would probably fail, but there's probably still a good number that would not. Anyway, if society was set up better (in such a way that schooling wasn't insanely slow, dragging on for 12 years when it COULD be done in 8, considering that most of 4-8th grade is repeating information... And in such a way that there weren't age limits on things such as jobs and loans, though "age discrimination" would definitely be acceptable), then many teens probably wouldn't have a LOT of trouble taking on some responsibility.

As for the toy example- Sorry if I didn't make it clear, I'll point out the correlations real quick-
Oak wood toys- Society's view of "Teenage adults." They are fully functional toys, and nobody "knows" anything better.
"discovery of better wood"- The "Science" on teenagers. They say that teens are not equipped for the adult stuff until later in life
Mahogany wood toys- The societal change in view on teenagers. The process for making the toys has become longer and more expensive, and the toy has effectively come "better."

The point of the example is, even though adults may be "more equipped" to deal with "mature" stuff, it doesn't make teenagers incapable of it. The risk-factor thing sounds weird to me, considering some people are just risk-takers and some aren't. The risks may change as people get older (making large capital investments instead of skydiving for example), but they still take these risks nonetheless. And some may learn that some risks may be taken, and don't learn this until adulthood... But classifying teenagers vaguely as unable to deal with adult situations is a poor choice IMO.

"I think that teens have always been less mature than people in their mid 20's and older"

Have any proof of this? Well, now that I think about it, I think the Bible mentions something about young adults (which would have been teenagers), but instead of saying "You can't do it, you're too young!" It says "You are young and more prone to this, so be careful and avoid it." IIRC.

 

[DABEARS85]

Once again, Vidy you need to stop arguing for the sake of arguing. Do you really think this is helping your situation? Take a step back and look at everything you are doing in this thread, and imagine you were that 15 year old girl. You come off as arrogant, immature, unable to give respect to elders, and overall abrasive with everyone that says anything to you. You are a rebellious teen, and I can tell by far you are NOT mature. I don't care what you are able to handle. You are not there yet. You are trying so hard to look smart that you can't even tell when to let the discussion fizzle or revert back to the original topic. You are trying too hard, and it isn't working for you yet. Give it a few years, then come back to it. No one is saying you are not intelligent, responsible, or mature for your age, but you have to realize that people that are older than you DO have more experience in life. This can be a broad range of things, but their perspectives on things are far more advanced than your own. Accept it, and get past it. Even if you were a child prodigy, it doesn't mean you are emotionally "there" yet. Some things just take time. I will give you credit though. At your age, I am positive I would have done the exact same things as you. The difference is that now I know better, and I can see through it.

 

[DABEARS85]

I think I'll follow what I just said with another statement to clarify it better. Vidy, I understand completely where you are coming from, because at your age I did the exact same things. You are trying to find acceptance and value in your personal gifts, be it intelligence, risk taking, maturity, whatever, and you feel hampered and judged based on age instead of your good qualities. What I'm trying to point out is that you are taking the wrong approach. You are being prideful with it instead of being humble about the gifts God gave you, and it comes off as arrogant. That's understandable, but you don't have the same maturity that an adult would in understanding that concept. Sometimes, you have to let people discover who you are without you shoving it in their faces. It works far better this way. Good luck though.