Want marriage but no kids

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Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#21
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#21
Ugly said:
Tubes tied. Condoms. There are ways to greatly lessen the chance of pregnancy. But misaplying scripture is most certainly an attempt to instruct someone on how they 'should' live their lives.
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I wasn't using scripture to tell someone how to live their life.

A consequence of sex is babies. God may find a way regardless of what you do. If babies make you unhappy, what will you do? Baby murder aka abortion? Throwing the child on to society to care for? Drowning them in a river and blaming it on black carjackers? Or just being miserable for the rest of your life.

Point is, what she wants and what God wants may be two different things. Is she prepared?

Ugly, if you still want to question my motives, we can duel anytime anywhere.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#22
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
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#22
Tommy379 said:
All actions have consequences. Sex often leads to babies. I didn't want children either. I have two now that I couldn't live without. God will make the pill ineffective when he wants to.
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Ugly said:
Tubes tied. Condoms. There are ways to greatly lessen the chance of pregnancy.
Click to expand...
These posts had me curious about something I was told a long time ago. Most people know that when taking the pill, one of the most crucial things about it is that you have to take it at the same every day. Back when my husband and I were discussing options, my doctor told me that taking it even 2 hours late could make a major difference in how effective it was.

I know a Google search isn't the most reliable, but that was a long time ago and I wondered if the time window had become any more generous.

According to the article I read, taking the pill even 3 hours late can render it completely ineffective and that a backup method should be used. I used to have a job where I had to start at 5 in the morning. This would have meant I'd have been taking the meds around 3 or 4 AM, and on days off, I would have had to get up around that same time time every single day to take it in order to make sure the timing was consistent.

I agree 200% that God can render the pill ineffective if He wants to.

But most often, it's due to human error and not necessarily God's interference.

I'm certainly NOT saying that there haven't been times when the pill wasn't effective--and I'm sorry to go a little off track--but I just thought this might be an interesting fact for anyone out there who is, or plans to, rely on the pill when marrying.

My husband and I chose two methods at the time, and decided after that, if God gave us a baby earlier than we had hoped for, we would open to accepting the blessing with love.
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#23
May 25, 2015
6,149
850
113
#23
HistoryPrincess said:
Even though I want to be married, I don't want to have children. It's not that I don't like kids, I just don't think I have the patience or the energy to care for more than two people, myself and my spouse. I know people say "Oh, it's different when they're your kids." I don't think so. Still, some people view this as a sin or being selfish, even though the bible never says it's a sin to not have children if you can (then again, it doesn't say masturbation is a sin either). I have relatives in my family who are married without children (they didn't want them), and are perfectly happy with them. But if that's unbiblical, then I'm just in an impossible situation. I'm either going to have to marry and have kids and be exhausted and unhappy all the time, or I'm going to have to remain single with a ridiculously high sex drive I otherwise can't legally satisfy.
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I do not believe it is a sin to not have children.

However, I do think the ones who had children are able to say, 'it's different when they are your own kids," would know, though. I do believe there is a difference when it's your own child as opposed to another person's child.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#24
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#24
seoulsearch said:
These posts had me curious about something I was told a long time ago. Most people know that when taking the pill, one of the most crucial things about it is that you have to take it at the same every day. Back when my husband and I were discussing options, my doctor told me that taking it even 2 hours late could make a major difference in how effective it was.

I know a Google search isn't the most reliable, but that was a long time ago and I wondered if the time window had become any more generous.

According to the article I read, taking the pill even 3 hours late can render it completely ineffective and that a backup method should be used. I used to have a job where I had to start at 5 in the morning. This would have meant I'd have been taking the meds around 3 or 4 AM, and on days off, I would have had to get up around that same time time every single day to take it in order to make sure the timing was consistent.

I agree 200% that God can render the pill ineffective if He wants to.

But most often, it's due to human error and not necessarily God's interference.

I'm certainly NOT saying that there haven't been times when the pill wasn't effective--and I'm sorry to go a little off track--but I just thought this might be an interesting fact for anyone out there who is, or plans to, rely on the pill when marrying.

My husband and I chose two methods at the time, and decided after that, if God gave us a baby earlier than we had hoped for, we would open to accepting the blessing with love.
Click to expand...
I didn't want kids at first, then I became indifferent to it. My wife was on the pill, I had a hate/hate relationship with condoms and still used them, and I pulled out and she still got pregnant...... twice. I have no doubt it was Gods intervention, or my swimmers should be on a Wheaties box.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#25
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#25
shineyourlight said:
I do not believe it is a sin to not have children.

However, I do think the ones who had children are able to say, 'it's different when they are your own kids," would know, though. I do believe there is a difference when it's your own child as opposed to another person's child.
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Yeah, I think other peoples kids are what made me not want any.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#26
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#26
Tommy379 said:
I didn't want kids at first, then I became indifferent to it. My wife was on the pill, I had a hate/hate relationship with condoms and still used them, and I pulled out and she still got pregnant...... twice. I have no doubt it was Gods intervention, or my swimmers should be on a Wheaties box.
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Lol...

I totally concede to this statement, Mr. Tommy.

God indeed must have wanted you to have kids! :)

I've very glad that they are such a blessing to you. :)
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#27
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#27
seoulsearch said:
Lol...

I totally concede to this statement, Mr. Tommy.

God indeed must have wanted you to have kids! :)

I've very glad that they are such a blessing to you. :)
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Thanks. My son is sweet, but my daughter can tare up hell and drive satan mad. When she turns 5, I might send her to Syria to take care of that ISIS problem.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#28
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#28
Children are blessings. If you don't want that kind of blessing, don't have sex or use birth control but some birth control methods are ineffective and have bad side effects.


Psalm 127:3-5

3Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. 4Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. 5How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#29
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#29
It's not a sin, but God did say, "Be fruitful and multiply..." :rolleyes: (Gen. 1:28)
 
H

Hungry

Banned
#30
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#30
I didn't want children, but I fell in love with a woman who did. Four kids later I can't imagine life without them. They give life purpose and meaning.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#31
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#31
I'm a firm believer that if you don't want to have kids then don't have them. There is nothing worse than a parent who doesn't want you or feels trapped because of having children.

My daughter never wants children and I am o.k. with that even though I will never be a Grandma and I won't pressure her into doing something she doesn't want to do. She is 36 now and we are both o.k. with her not having kids.

With that said you are still young and if you ever change your mind it is o.k. to do so.

PS: I ended up getting to be a Grandma anyway because I married into another daughter (Husbands daughter) and she has 5 kids so I get to be Grandma to three girls and 2 identical twin boys. So for my daughter and myself it is a win, win situation plus I now have two daughters.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#32
#32
I prefer other people's kids. I can give them back at the end of the day! :p
 
bingbing

bingbing

Banned
#37
Jan 13, 2017
157
2
0
#37
Oh! Never mind replying. I am logging off now... :D
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#38
Apr 22, 2013
13,578
9,094
113
#38
Would have been a deal breaker for me. I don't understand the mentality of not wanting kids. Never have. I wouldn't say it's sin, but as others have said, that should be made crystal clear to anyone you are dating that you get even a little serious with.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#39
Aug 13, 2014
27,278
9,330
113
#39
shineyourlight said:
I do not believe it is a sin to not have children.

However, I do think the ones who had children are able to say, 'it's different when they are your own kids," would know, though. I do believe there is a difference when it's your own child as opposed to another person's child.
Click to expand...
When I read the above, I was thinking, "Oh there is indeed a difference! You can hand someone else's kid back."

And then somebody else stole my line before I could get it in. :p
Miri said:
I prefer other people's kids. I can give them back at the end of the day! :p
Click to expand...
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#40
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#40
renewed_hope said:
I don't really understand the OP because I have always wanted a few kids. However, I found out a few months ago I may not be able to have them, it was a huge pill to swallow, but I have this philosophy to let go and let God do what hes gonna do. We all have plans, but ultimately it is God who makes these decisions.
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I don't like kids -- I was never a kid. :D

Okay, time to come clean. The real truth is, I actually never grew up. :cool:
 
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