What action or non-action are you taking in your search?

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What action or non-action are you taking in your search?

  • Not looking - just praying and waiting patiently

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Not looking - afraid to look due to whats out there

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Not looking - don't want a relationship at this time

    Votes: 3 37.5%
  • Searching - but too shy to ask anyone on a date

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Searching - but don't know where to search

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Searching - online only

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Searching - in real life only

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Searching - both online and in real life

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Searching - offering money for dates

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Searching - but can't find anyone who meets my standards

    Votes: 1 12.5%

  • Total voters
    8
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#1
What action or non-action are you taking in your search for a mate? Please read all of the choices before making a selection. This is a sort of survey to see what the percentages are regarding who is quietly waiting and who is actively searching.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#2
NOTE: YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE 1 ANSWER. (Sorry I forgot to mention that)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#3
OH man, I would have chosen more than one answer, definitely. I'm searching but not searching at the same time, if that makes sense. I know from unfortunate experience that I can't make anything happen!!! So, it's like I try to be open to things, am on two Christian dating sites, but don't spend a lot of time there... I figure, if God wants me to meet someone, He's pretty good at making things happen.

Not to say it doesn't get a bit frustrating though.

Offering money for dates??!!! :eek: That's just awful!! I hope no one's doing this... but actually... I HAVE seen it in a way... people so badly wanting someone to pay attention to them or like them that they offer to pay for absolutely anything and everything (I know a very nice guy who literally exhausted his life savings on single mom he was chasing for 2 years--she was clearly not interested, unless she needed something, especially for her kids. Of course, I'm NOT saying all single parents are like this at all!! It's just the situation he chose to stay in, unfortunately.)

And, come to think of it, I've been guilty of (needlessly) spending money on guys I was interested in as well. Every guy I ever liked didn't have money, so I never had to worry about them spending money on me!
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
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#4
OH man, I would have chosen more than one answer, definitely. I'm searching but not searching at the same time, if that makes sense. I know from unfortunate experience that I can't make anything happen!!! So, it's like I try to be open to things, am on two Christian dating sites, but don't spend a lot of time there... I figure, if God wants me to meet someone, He's pretty good at making things happen.

Not to say it doesn't get a bit frustrating though.

Offering money for dates??!!! :eek: That's just awful!! I hope no one's doing this... but actually... I HAVE seen it in a way... people so badly wanting someone to pay attention to them or like them that they offer to pay for absolutely anything and everything (I know a very nice guy who literally exhausted his life savings on single mom he was chasing for 2 years--she was clearly not interested, unless she needed something, especially for her kids. Of course, I'm NOT saying all single parents are like this at all!! It's just the situation he chose to stay in, unfortunately.)

And, come to think of it, I've been guilty of (needlessly) spending money on guys I was interested in as well. Every guy I ever liked didn't have money, so I never had to worry about them spending money on me!
So it sounds like you are searching but just not expecting much. Thats pretty much what I'm doing too. I mean I'm not on any sites but I always keep my eye out for that one unsuspecting woman who seems like she actually might be attracted to me. (I know, keep dreaming!)

When I was younger I spent money on girls I wanted to date too only to be told, "I only like you as a friend", but I put that line in there just as a joke. I hope no one actually clicks on it. I forgot to put an 'other' option too.
 
H

hotfudge

Guest
#5
nice survey zero :) yeah offering money on dates..i was like WUUTTT?! Had to read it again :D
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#6
nice survey zero :) yeah offering money on dates..i was like WUUTTT?! Had to read it again :D
Haha thank you! :)

Now that I think about it, I should have made this a multiple answer poll. :/
 
Last edited:

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#7
I'm curious to know why anyone else isn't looking.

Like I'm trying to find a job and go to flight school. I don't feel like I bring enough to the table right now to find the kind of girl who will stay with me through everything. When I graduate in like a year, then I will have to start looking but, for now I'm not. I'm not saying that if someone should happen to come along that I wouldn't pursue a relationship, but I'm certainly not doing anything to invite that kind of attention.

I certainly had more relationship capital and more going for me in the military. Since I left I haven't even really tried. Which doesn't bother me too much. 25 and single isn't the end of the world.
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#8
Im searching but i dont have idea where to search, so i only open the eyes :D, besides that i feel too shy to go to church to tell the truth and say that im really searching, anyway in church there is almost only ppl of 20-25 year old, and to be honest i prefer to pay in some clothes than in a date ......so im praying too
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#9
I'm curious to know why anyone else isn't looking.

Like I'm trying to find a job and go to flight school. I don't feel like I bring enough to the table right now to find the kind of girl who will stay with me through everything. When I graduate in like a year, then I will have to start looking but, for now I'm not. I'm not saying that if someone should happen to come along that I wouldn't pursue a relationship, but I'm certainly not doing anything to invite that kind of attention.

I certainly had more relationship capital and more going for me in the military. Since I left I haven't even really tried. Which doesn't bother me too much. 25 and single isn't the end of the world.
I'm not looking because I'm not sure this is what God has planned for me right now, and even if it is, it seems like I only get in His way sometimes. :) God knows ME and He knows the sort of person I would be interested in/would be able to build a life with, and He brings the most amazing surprises into our lives when we least expect it. :) Sometimes when we "go looking" on our own, we end up in some very bad situations. So...que sera, sera!!

For the record, the right lady would admire your determination to further your education/go after your dream. But, you're right...being single is not the worst that can happen to us. :)
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#10
I'm not looking because I'm not sure this is what God has planned for me right now, and even if it is, it seems like I only get in His way sometimes. :) God knows ME and He knows the sort of person I would be interested in/would be able to build a life with, and He brings the most amazing surprises into our lives when we least expect it. :) Sometimes when we "go looking" on our own, we end up in some very bad situations. So...que sera, sera!!

For the record, the right lady would admire your determination to further your education/go after your dream. But, you're right...being single is not the worst that can happen to us. :)
I would hope so but, I would rather have accomplished it, than merely be trying.

I agree with the looking part. Whenever I go looking I wind up trying to convince myself that I like someone that I really have nothing in common with just because she seems like the best seeming option available. Its like a friend of mine in the navy once said, "If you are looking to settle, you are going to wind up settling." ...or something along those lines. And I love surprises. :)

I've learned that I should never have to convince myself that I like someone. It should just happen. I don't have to convince myself that like a Grande White Chocolate Mocha, it just happens. :D
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#11
I just read "blah blah blah CHOCOLATE blah blah blah* ;)
 
N

NandehRu

Guest
#12
Not looking - just praying and waiting patiently???!!

aha?? :p ..can i have two or three answers??? ^_^* It's the man who finds. I don't focus much on my standards cause flesh and spirit are opposing :s I don't wanna rush on things too and end up toasted, I still have a lot of things to do and just focus on His will for me, that's worth waiting but i'm praying in advance but in His time ....lol

I'm not so sure where i'm at right or probably i don't actually care much cause i'm still enjoying life being single toinks * ahhah..it will come in time. (i'm a bummer on your survey zero :p sowe )
 
N

NandehRu

Guest
#13
nice survey zero :) yeah offering money on dates..i was like WUUTTT?! Had to read it again :D
:confused: hhmmm...aha lol offering money for dates ..sad. lol ..second thought??? nah..junk it , lol don't put true love at stake lols
 
M

Manduh87

Guest
#14
I'm curious to know why anyone else isn't looking.

Like I'm trying to find a job and go to flight school. I don't feel like I bring enough to the table right now to find the kind of girl who will stay with me through everything. When I graduate in like a year, then I will have to start looking but, for now I'm not. I'm not saying that if someone should happen to come along that I wouldn't pursue a relationship, but I'm certainly not doing anything to invite that kind of attention.

I certainly had more relationship capital and more going for me in the military. Since I left I haven't even really tried. Which doesn't bother me too much. 25 and single isn't the end of the world.

I'm looking. Not ACTIVELY looking (not going to single bars or singles sites LOL) but more like keeping my eyes open? I'm 24 and I still have a year left in college but then I'm going to grad school, but I'm ready to at least date, and stay with someone and if the relationship is right and God wills it, then look into marriage. My only standard really is that he needs to be okay with women in office at a church because I'm going into youth ministry and being a youth pastor. Other than that, God will bring him to me. But I'm not a casual dater...if I get in a relationship I want someone for a long haul.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#15
I'm looking. Not ACTIVELY looking (not going to single bars or singles sites LOL) but more like keeping my eyes open? I'm 24 and I still have a year left in college but then I'm going to grad school, but I'm ready to at least date, and stay with someone and if the relationship is right and God wills it, then look into marriage. My only standard really is that he needs to be okay with women in office at a church because I'm going into youth ministry and being a youth pastor. Other than that, God will bring him to me. But I'm not a casual dater...if I get in a relationship I want someone for a long haul.
Sometime being really involved, is kind of like looking. If you are apart of an outreach 2 bible studies and a small group, in my book that counts as looking ;)

I even been in situations where the people involved consider the time spent in such activities a date. But I suppose that also depends on the level of connections made there.
 
L

Lecrae

Guest
#16
Dang, I'm the only one that chose option 4. lol
 
X

xEyesOnFirex

Guest
#17
I would hope so but, I would rather have accomplished it, than merely be trying.

I agree with the looking part. Whenever I go looking I wind up trying to convince myself that I like someone that I really have nothing in common with just because she seems like the best seeming option available. Its like a friend of mine in the navy once said, "If you are looking to settle, you are going to wind up settling." ...or something along those lines. And I love surprises. :)

I've learned that I should never have to convince myself that I like someone. It should just happen. I don't have to convince myself that like a Grande White Chocolate Mocha, it just happens. :D
Oh man, that described my past experiences perfectly!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#18
I would hope so but, I would rather have accomplished it, than merely be trying.

I agree with the looking part. Whenever I go looking I wind up trying to convince myself that I like someone that I really have nothing in common with just because she seems like the best seeming option available. Its like a friend of mine in the navy once said, "If you are looking to settle, you are going to wind up settling." ...or something along those lines. And I love surprises. :)

I've learned that I should never have to convince myself that I like someone. It should just happen. I don't have to convince myself that like a Grande White Chocolate Mocha, it just happens. :D
Am I forgiven?? hahaha
 

Attachments

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Robert1857

Guest
#20
I'm tossing out all the microwave popcorn and going back to making it the old-fashioned way. :p