What do we call it?

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Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#1
Jan 15, 2011
6,032
3,285
113
#1
I've noticed that many of us don't really feel comfortable with the term "dating" or "boyfriend/girlfriend" in regards to our relationships with the opposite gender. I think for some of us old fogies it just gives the connotation of high school aged kids jumping from one relationship to the next, not a serious relationship based on more than just hormones.

So what do we call that relationship/significant other that we are more than friends with, but not yet engaged to? I'll be honest, I'm not sure If this thread is going to end up serious, or comical and really have no particular aim for either. It's just a point of curiosity for me.
 
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jkalyna

Guest
#2
#2
:)I'M NOT GOING TO BE THE FIRST TO REPLY.:p
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#3
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#3
I think they are both acceptable as is. If you want to be more serious, get engaged.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
Hmm..."involved"? "in a relationship with" (ala Facebook)? "together"? "a couple"? "committed" (that one doesn't quite seem appropriate :D)

I never really used the word "dating" before I came to CC, but most people here seem to use it. I would normally say "seeing" someone.

I do sort of feel silly at my age calling someone my boyfriend though, but if he isn't a fiance, I don't know what else to call him. My "friend" seems less than flattering...

There really should be a term/word :)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
^How is this guy still single? :) ^
 
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kayem77

Guest
#7
#7
One of the reasons why I don't like the word ''boyfriend'' is because Justin Bieber just made a song about that word :p but seriously I don't know...in spanish the word ''novio'' is more suitable in my opinion...so maybe I'll start using that :)
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#8
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#8
i like the term "my future ex-wife'
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#9
#9
Nautilus said:
i like the term "my future ex-wife'
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wow love the optimism

<can i be sarcastic here or will someone chew me out for it too? some days I just want to be me, nice and polite just seems fake sometimes, I would just say. This is my man and you keep your dirty paws and lictenous eyes off of him.....he's not a boy, he may be your friend but if there's something more to it, I want to know now. be straight and honest with me, if he's messing with you, you can keep him cuz he's not worth my time.....

i don't need a new term, I just call him MINE.....

but i tend to be slightly overpossessive if you haven't noticed.

its a good thing my husband is too and we balance each other out.

anyway I just wanted to rant....>
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#10
#10
How about... He's my better head, and I'm his prime Rib?

You think that's peachy enough? :D
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#11
#11
Nautilus said:
i like the term "my future ex-wife'
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LOLOL. Like if anybody is going to call me "my future ex" that a prenup not worth the paper printed on. hehehe
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#12
#12
I think if you're over 30 and have to find a word for 'it', then there probably isn't an 'it' there in the first place. I think when folks over 30 decide they like each other, they just kinda talk about it, and let the actions speak for themselves without all the cutesy titles.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#13
Jan 15, 2011
6,032
3,285
113
#13
Well, although I agree that a relationship doesn't necessarily need a title, at least for myself it has been difficult making an introduction. When you think about it, a lot of the time an introduction includes the nature of your relationship with the person. "this is_______, my ______ (mom, pastor, boss, friend, etc.)

This is______, my girlfriend just sounds weird for a man of my age, at least to me. Significant other seems almost condescending. Friend minimizes the nature of the relationship.

Hmmmm, maybe Future fiance as long as the relationship continues developing in a positive manner and we both decide it is in God's will for us, or is that too long? :D
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#14
Jan 15, 2011
6,032
3,285
113
#14
Nautilus said:
i like the term "my future ex-wife'
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I can just about guarantee that using this term in the presence of a woman that has any self respect whatsoever will remove the need to worry about what to call her ever again.
 
S

shirley

Guest
#15
#15
I DONT THINK AGE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WTH DATING OR FRIENDSHIP YOUR ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL A RELATIONSHIP STARTS OUT AS A FRIENDSHIP THEN IT GROWS ONE DAY AT A TIME ' HERES MY THOUGHT FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A FLOWER YOU PLANT A SEED WATCH IT GROW [FRIENDSHIP] INTO SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL [LOVE]ITS GODS WILL IF YOU WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER ; IN MY THINKING ID LOVE SOMEONE WHO HAS RESPECT FOR MY FEELINGS AND FOR HIM TOO TRUST AND CARING IS VERY IMPORTANT SO THE ANSWER REALLY IS GOD WILL AND CARING ABOUT EACH OTHERS FEELINGS .
 
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GuyforChrist85

Guest
#16
#16
Haha, I call it dating only on here for context. Verbally in person, I would say "I'm seeing this girl".

In a relationship, I just refer to her by her name to friends/family.
 
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iraasuup

Guest
#17
#17
While we're on the subject. I've come across another situation recently where there isn't really a term to describe it.

Recently I've found myself having to try to find the right term for my husband/ex/whatever he is? We're separated but not divorced.. so still legally married for technicality sake, but living as separate individuals on opposite sides of the country. What is the term for that? Is he my husband.. referring to him that way seems kind of odd given the circumstances? Is he an ex.. well he's not really that either. Its kinda tricky. The other issue is figuring out what my title is now. For example, I was filling out some documents the other day at a business, and the staff member assisting me asked me is it 'Miss or Mrs' and I'm like 'uuuuh neither?'. I went with Ms, but don't even know if that's correct. The reason this is such a dilemma for me, is that I have gone back to my maiden (birth name) and am no longer using my husbands (or whatever he is now) surname. So I can't call myself Mrs if Im not using my married surname can I? Technical stuff :p

I don't see an issue in calling someone you're in a relationship with but not yet engaged to as your boyfriend/girlfirend. I mean, that IS what they are...right? I despise the term 'Partner' though.
 
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iraasuup

Guest
#18
#18
GuyforChrist85 said:
Haha, I call it dating only on here for context. Verbally in person, I would say "I'm seeing this girl".

In a relationship, I just refer to her by her name to friends/family.
Click to expand...

See the term 'seeing' is not really used here. Unless I'm mistaken, it has different connotations here. I've always associated the word 'seeing' in that context (as in I'm seeing this person) to mean sleeping with/casually hooking up with'. I don't know if Im wrong, but thats what I assume when I hear someone say they're 'seeing somebody'. It just seems wrong to me. But nobody here really uses that term.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#19
#19
Oncefallen said:
Well, although I agree that a relationship doesn't necessarily need a title, at least for myself it has been difficult making an introduction. When you think about it, a lot of the time an introduction includes the nature of your relationship with the person. "this is_______, my ______ (mom, pastor, boss, friend, etc.)

This is______, my girlfriend just sounds weird for a man of my age, at least to me. Significant other seems almost condescending. Friend minimizes the nature of the relationship.

Hmmmm, maybe Future fiance as long as the relationship continues developing in a positive manner and we both decide it is in God's will for us, or is that too long? :D
Click to expand...

I agree, Oncefallen. That's what I was talking about too.

When it's just the two of you and if you know how you feel about one another, as Stilly said, a term may not be necessary, but when others ask you about the special person in your life or you are introducing him/her to someone else, "boyfriend/girlfriend" seems silly when you are older and "friend" seems less than flattering in describing what they really are to you. Some are actually offended if you refer to them that way.

Clarifying what a relationship is can help draw lines that avoid conflict caused by outsiders who can be a bit obtuse. If you are out somewhere with your lady and you just introduce her as a friend, are you going to be upset if other guys flirt with her? If she thinks that's all she is to you, she might react in a way that offends you as well. Sometimes it's important to let people know where things stand so that people are not needlessly offended.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#20
Aug 2, 2009
24,584
4,271
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#20
Ok seriously, if I am dating a woman or even if she is my gf I always just introduce her by name. Around here it would kind of strange to introduce a woman as your gf or as someone you are dating. That would come across as a bit obsessive/protective. On the other hand, for women it is perfectly acceptable to introduce a man as her bf. I guess for women its like saying to every man in the room, "I'm taken, so don't even think about trying." hehe
 
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