What do you wish you knew about dating before your first relationship?

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MH818

Guest
#21
#21
I've learned so many things i wish i knew before. I don't even know where to begin. I've been through enough to learn many lessons. I'll severely limit comments. I'm passionate about this, so don't hesitate to ask if you want to discuss further.

- We are perfectly formed beings, created by God. Therefore, ONLY God can love us perfectly.
- Learn to love a woman for the beautiful soul that she is. Don't fixate on looking for someone to fit your mold.
- Love for a woman is about her,..not about me, or the way she makes me feel.
- Love is about how I feel about her. I must know her well enough to appreciate her.
- To expect someone to love you as perfectly as God can is unreasonable.
- It's okay to expect someone to encourage me, to support me spiritually, and emotionally,...in her own special way.
- Don't avoid confrontation. Confront in a caring way that doesn't judge and accuse.
- My feelings matter.They really do.They are just as valid as hers.
- The most important for me: I don't have to do it all.
 
M

MH818

Guest
#23
#23
IloveyouGod said:
I must say, I love your honesty n' openness. :)
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just_monicat said:
+when a man (or anyone) reveals himself to you, it's best to believe him (as opposed to ignoring his words and actions)

+that i would've been so much better off waiting to have sex. that i should've guarded myself with greater earnest. that i deserved to be worth the wait.

+and that regardless of making the mistake of premarital sex, the correction is not to become engaged (or married).

+that the pain of hurting someone else would be so much worse than being hurt by someone.

+i wish i'd known that i had no business being in a relationship, period, until i sorted through some of the issues that i finally dealt with in my late 20s/early 30s. that the pursuit of healing and wholeness should always supersede my desire for a relationship.

+that no relationship is FAR better than a crummy relationship

+that simply avoiding the cautionary tales you've witnessed (or even experienced) in your life isn't enough, i.e. "i never want to be just like ____". you actually have to know what you want, otherwise, you just wander aimlessly without concern as to what you actually need/want.

it's like learning to ride a bike - whatever you try not to focus on will never leave your periphery. you have to replace it with a vision and roadmap.

+no man can make me feel: whole, healthy, worthy, or enough. that's not his job, it's mine. and the solutions is found in God.

+not being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing, full of its own blessings
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VERY wise words. I think it's a shame we do so little as a society to educate young people to understand this stuff.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#24
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#24
I would say....

+When you love someone, tell them.

+People spend their time on what is important to them, if you keep asking for time, and they keep putting it off, you are not important to them.

+Just because someone believes differently than I do, doesn't mean they don't have a conscience.

+Real love takes a long time and there is no synthetic alternative worth pursuing.

+If you have to convince someone that they should like you, its not worth it.

+The one you have is better than the one you could have had or the two you don't.

+No two relationships are alike. Every relationship is different. Experiences cannot be reproduced but, expectations can always be exceeded.
 
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kayem77

Guest
#25
#25
I haven't been in a relationship, however I've learned that I invest too much on relationships. Or maybe I just don't invest in the right relationships with the right person. I guess that mens I should have more barriers...safety barriers. Not to the point where I'm unreachable...just safe.
 
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DarlinNadia

Guest
#26
#26
I would say, "Tiffany, one two ... even three people might be wrong ... but EVERYONE is not wrong. Love is Blind, just cause you saw some gem somewhere in that guy... it was only the sparkle reflecting from your own eyes.... Find God, read your Bible, know God first, but ... since what's done is done, you will have two wonderful children.. so don't change a thing with this dude or this dude... except maybe the length of the relationships... maybe leave the one guy the first time you wanted to leave him... waiting was worthless and horrible.. plus you lost a buncha years ... but .. no, never-mind that either. God has a plan. Trust God, and you'll be fine"
 
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