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Truth. Tonight I made scalloped potatoes, ribs, cornbread, coleslaw and lemon pie for dessert. Within 30 minutes of dinner my students and son let me know they wouldn't be home for dinner. Anyone hungry? I still have leftover almond torte if you aren't a lemon pie fan.
Most importantly, good questions express genuine interest. Don’t ask if you don’t care.
Good questions are open-ended. They allow for in-depth answers. This is how you actually start learning things about her. One-word answers don’t tell you much and basically any question can be worded to elicit a longer answer.
A good question allows for some back and forth. After she answers, you can give your own answer, because if you two are really getting into each other, she’s going to be just as interested in your answer as you were in hers. Ideally, a question should lead to questions after she’s done answering.
When you ask a good question, it’s easy to go down a side alley and a detour or three. That’s fine! When you ask a question, you want to know her answer, but it’s more important to keep the conversational ball rolling and keep her interested. So if she starts talking about the answer to your question and dips into some unrelated tangents, that’s a great sign. Roll with it and enjoy.
It sounds obvious, but it’s still worth mentioning: A good question fits with the rest of the conversation. If she’s talking about her job, asking her about her car isn’t a great fit, though asking her about her education makes sense.
Good questions get people talking about subjects they’re interested in on a positive note. Fewer things will get a person to like you more and faster than asking them to talk about something they’re already interested in.
Finally, a good question helps to lead you both toward real conversation, not just taking turns asking questions. Good questions are bricks in a road from not knowing someone at all to getting to know them quite well.