What is the Difference Between Determination and Desperation?

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G00WZ

G00WZ

Senior Member
#21
May 16, 2014
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#21
Lynx said:
Maybe... But the passive person can feel free to enjoy a nap while the more driven people feel compelled to keep striving. :cool:

*Lynx goes off to take a nap on a tree limb.
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Change and new perspectives are open for everyone but at the same time they're closed and beyond comprehension to those who are occupied. It's impossible to change a persons mind for them, all you can do is tell them what's available. You remember KJ91, remember how much time and effort people spent in trying to convince him to see things different only for him to post 2 more threads basically saying the same statements about himself but in the forms of questions.

When someone has a perspective that's all they can produce from, they can't have anything else unless they somehow are able to snap out of whatever they're on. That's why i always tell people when they truly get tired of themselves that's when they're open to change, but it is what it is, some people are just destined to be professionals at being miserable.
 
TheNarrowPath

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
#22
Jul 17, 2022
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#22
One describes a republican and the other is a democrat. 😎😁
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#23
Aug 13, 2014
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#23
TheNarrowPath said:
One describes a republican and the other is a democrat. 😎😁
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That's exactly the kind of thing a democrat would say about republicans...

:sneaky:

...and a republican would say about democrats.

So it's hard to tell which you intend for which group.
 
Sculpt

Sculpt

Well-known member
#24
Apr 18, 2021
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#24
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

In another thread, we were talking about a scenario in which a good Christian guy was looking for a good Christian wife... And so, he proceeds to start asking girls out.

First, he asks 3 girls out at his church, one after the other, but they all say no.

Then, he sets his sights on his workplace. He asks 2 girls out at his place of employment, about 4 months apart, but these girls also turn him down.

Because the people at his church tell him to "keep trying" and "never give up", he decides to keep going and has now joined 3 dating sites in the hopes of finding his "true love". He always prays over every situation (asking someone out, joining a dating site, etc.) and he believes every decision he has made in all of this has been "led by God."


Some would call this determination.

Others would call it desperation.

* What would YOU call it, and what do you think is the difference?
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I'll break-up answering your questions...

What would I call what this young chap doing?:

1. Getting incredibly important experience

2. Increasing his chances of finding the love of his life... probably ten-fold

3. Sharpening his discernment of the Holy Spirit

4. Increasing his integration of God into his life.

"Desperation"? HA! Let the naysayers trip on their own stumbling blocks.

On the other hand... I'm sure he'll learn with the experience he's getting that he probably would be better off talking to the ladies and church and at work a bit before asking them out. But in some ways it doesn't matter... there's the phrase, "no prophet is accepted in his hometown'... meaning some 'hometown' folks will just want to see him as he was, not as what he's becoming; so, their opinion probably doesn't matter so much for a while.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#25
Aug 13, 2014
27,370
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#25
Sculpt said:
I'll break-up answering your questions...

What would I call what this young chap doing?:

1. Getting incredibly important experience

2. Increasing his chances of finding the love of his life... probably ten-fold

3. Sharpening his discernment of the Holy Spirit

4. Increasing his integration of God into his life.

"Desperation"? HA! Let the naysayers trip on their own stumbling blocks.

On the other hand... I'm sure he'll learn with the experience he's getting that he probably would be better off talking to the ladies and church and at work a bit before asking them out. But in some ways it doesn't matter... there's the phrase, "no prophet is accepted in his hometown'... meaning some 'hometown' folks will just want to see him as he was, not as what he's becoming; so, their opinion probably doesn't matter so much for a while.
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So a guy should go to a different town to find a girl?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#27
Dec 15, 2018
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#27
the book 138 dates was about determination but it was the girl asking the guys.
But it was also about desperation as well so maybe a mixture of both. And she didnt stop at her local town she went overseas as well.

Anyhow when she found the one to make babies with she didnt end up marrying him (so far) anyway.

Basically she applied her start up entrepeneurial skills to mate hunting as she did for fundraising/investing.

I think well good on her she could have given up. But she was also lucky she didnt get scammed or abused though there were some hairy moments. A lot of people dont recover from a broken heart.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#28
Dec 15, 2018
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#28
when you do find someone, determination may end but then the desperation starts.

I am sure there was a tv series about it called Desperate Housewives. I dont know if you ever watched this show but not everyone was happy being a housewife. I think it got boring. I know I'd probably be bored if my husband and just left me locked in the house all day with nothing to do except housework...for no pay. In the tv series the premise was one of. the housewives commited suicide and the other ones tried to figure out why she would top herself. They all had lovely homes in Wisteria Lane it wasnt like they were living in a slum!
 
Krumbeard

Krumbeard

Well-known member
#29
Apr 15, 2019
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#29
Lanolin said:
when you do find someone, determination may end but then the desperation starts.

I am sure there was a tv series about it called Desperate Housewives. I dont know if you ever watched this show but not everyone was happy being a housewife. I think it got boring. I know I'd probably be bored if my husband and just left me locked in the house all day with nothing to do except housework...for no pay. In the tv series the premise was one of. the housewives commited suicide and the other ones tried to figure out why she would top herself. They all had lovely homes in Wisteria Lane it wasnt like they were living in a slum!
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The housewives that I know do it because they want to and love it. They are not locked in a house by their husbands.

Was your mother locked in her home by your dad?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#30
Dec 15, 2018
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#30
Krumbeard said:
The housewives that I know do it because they want to and love it. They are not locked in a house by their husbands.

Was your mother locked in her home by your dad?
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?

no she was allowed out lol
But she had to catch the bus cos she he took the car and she was afraid to back out of the narrow driveway

Or get rides from others.

I know lots of housewives who got abused by their husbands and thats why they not with them anymore. Many pretended that they were fine for a while until they got sick of pretending that their hsubands loved them, especially when they cheated on them. or hit them.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#31
Dec 15, 2018
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#31
There was a big domestic violence awareness campaign that we had in the library every year called Behind Closed Doors and a white ribbon march to highlight this problem, which is quite common. Rich or poor, happens in all levels of society, unfortunately.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#32
Dec 15, 2018
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#32
Most of the time people wont tell you they having problems cos its shameful. Why marry someone and that someone you love then beats you up. They can them claim their marital rights or whatever. cos they 'own' you. Its horrible
 
Krumbeard

Krumbeard

Well-known member
#33
Apr 15, 2019
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#33
Lanolin said:
Most of the time people wont tell you they having problems cos its shameful. Why marry someone and that someone you love then beats you up. They can them claim their marital rights or whatever. cos they 'own' you. Its horrible
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That's not marriage! That's slavery wrapped on the guise of marriage.

Marriage is a covenant. It's a physical representation of our relationship to and with Christ.

Sadly we lose sight of that and distort and twist it in our sinfulness.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#34
Dec 15, 2018
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#34
Krumbeard said:
That's not marriage! That's slavery wrapped on the guise of marriage.

Marriage is a covenant. It's a physical representation of our relationship to and with Christ.

Sadly we lose sight of that and distort and twist it in our sinfulness.
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is marriage a covenant?

How come theres no blood involved then, I dont see that in most marriages today. Maybe theres just a lot of sham marriages nowadays plus who is marrying all these people off in something they cant handle so that they bail at the first hurdle.

and I suppose theres no rule saying you have to be a christian to be married anymore.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#35
Dec 15, 2018
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#35
wife equals personal slave for a lot of men it seems. I dont get that, why treat your woman so badly that all she wants to do is leave? Makes no sense.
 
Krumbeard

Krumbeard

Well-known member
#36
Apr 15, 2019
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#36
Lanolin said:
wife equals personal slave for a lot of men it seems. I dont get that, why treat your woman so badly that all she wants to do is leave? Makes no sense.
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Are these Christian men or not?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#38
Dec 15, 2018
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#38
Krumbeard said:
Are these Christian men or not?
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hm. some of them *said* they were christian, I know several wives who left christian men and they were like pastors and ministers of churches etc
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#39
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#39
In the Bible an example is the knocking at a friends door at midnight...you know its not a good time to wake them up but you are desperate for bread. Because the person is your friend he or she will open the door for you. Perhaps that is determination too

However, desperation might be that you go begging.
what about the woman who touched Jesus garment to stop her bleeding...shed go to doctor after doctor. .For 18 years!!!! Jesus said your faith has made you well.

I think there are many times in a christian life when we are desperate and have to rely on our faith when we dont know the outcome. We also have to be determined i.e make up our mind, be singleminded about things as being doubleminded we wont receive anything from God if we are like 'meh whatever. '
 
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