What should a virtuous woman look for in a man?

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TimothyGirl

Active member
Jul 19, 2019
187
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#21
I like your rephrasing of the question, because it does get to the heart of the matter. A man who is righteous. I would say, ironically, this covers all three notions of fame, fortune, and power because a righteous man will/should operate in wisdom. And, with wisdom comes certain blessings.

Even so, scripture says for a man to take care of his house lest he be worse than a heathen. Already we see providence. In respect to fame, we see what with wisdom? Honor.

Proverbs 3:13-18 ESV
Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

Of course not every man is world famous, but his fame is his reputation. I am reminded of the idea of having a “good name.” You are honored amongst your peers. Admirable.

In respect to power, God moves mountains. 😁 Similar to what you have said, the security a man offers is only strengthened (ha, solidified) by his faith in God. If a problem arises he can seek counsel with God, who has every solution to anything a person could ever face.

Thanks for the response @TimothyGirl A wise answer.

I was really blessed and ministered to by your post, @BenFTW. And wholeheartedly agree!

A worldy pursuit is riches, but the righteous man's pursuit is wisdom. The topic is actually so loaded it would take me all night (as it is here) to unpack it.

But to add to that comment, let me quote from 1 Corinthians 1:30, which says that ultimately CHRIST is the wisdom of God!!

As we pursue wisdom, we are slowly conformed to His image (Rom. 8:29).

Isn't it awesome how the Lord promises us in James 1 that if we ask for His wisdom, He won't withhold it from us? Indeed, the wisdom of God is foolishness to man (1 Cor. 1). It often requires giving when one would naturally receive... it involves sacrifice when one would naturally preserve...

I'm reminded of James 3:17,
But the WISDOM that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without hypocrisy. (And then he adds,) Now the fruit of RIGHTEOUSNESS is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Wisdom and righteousness go hand in hand!!

Going back to your orignal post, James 3 would be a pretty apt description of what a virtuous woman would expect from a righteous man... and the woman being the glory of the man (1 Cor. 11:7) (and wisdom personified - Prov 1,2), that virtuous woman would perfectly reflect him. Suddenly we see more than a man and a woman, we see the mystery of Christ and His Bride!! (Ephesians 5:32)

What a picture to aspire to! What a vision for marriage! If only we would raise the standard from pursuing wealth to pursuing Christ... (Sorry, getting carried away here!! 🤗)

Well said, Ben, and thank you for giving me something to chew on!
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
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#22
I think there is a disparity between what we ought to do and what people actually do. There is no way to force anyone, even a Christian, to do what is the right thing.

For example, I've known many people who decided to marry because all their friends were marrying, or because they felt like it was the "next step" for their adulting. (As an aside, psychological studies show that people typically marry not when they "meet the right one," but when they decide it's the "right time"). So many people decide, find someone who will do, and then marry. And this is not just a "worldly" issue. There are many churches that subtly pressure men and women to marry. Most people find it deeply painful to be the outsider, so they will capitulate to pressure so they are not ostracized.

Part of what makes standing against these pressures difficult is the fact that what is being pushed may not be inherently bad. It's not bad, for example, to want a partner with fit finances. It's not bad to appreciate someone who has a level of expertise that makes them powerful (even if only in their field). Even money is not inherently bad--Christ condemned the *love of money.* We are prone to becoming ego-attached to that which does not define us--our wealth, status, beauty, power, etc. We forget that these can vanish in an instant.

I think the biggest challenge for the church--both men and women--is how to resist these external pushes. How can we create people who are fiercely loyal to Christ and his way?

I would caution you about agreeing with the idea that "women are born with value and men have to earn it." It is patently false. All people are made in the image of God and have inherent value. If we are really meant to have the mind of God, we need not assign value to people based on anything but what God values.
Mm, it’s an interesting point you bring up about peer pressure, essentially, and how that may encourage people to rush into things. Where as the wise thing, in my opinion, would be to wait for God’s timing (which is perfect).

Side note: You have misunderstood the context behind the statement about the value of a man and a woman. This value contextually is about a relationship, and what one brings into it. A man, generally, is looking for a woman who they find attractive (this is innate) where as a fair portion of women are looking for a man who can provide (equal to or above their income; something earned or not innate). Hence the statement that value is earned by a man, to be qualified for a relationship.
 
Jun 8, 2021
5
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#23
Mm, it’s an interesting point you bring up about peer pressure, essentially, and how that may encourage people to rush into things. Where as the wise thing, in my opinion, would be to wait for God’s timing (which is perfect).

Side note: You have misunderstood the context behind the statement about the value of a man and a woman. This value contextually is about a relationship, and what one brings into it. A man, generally, is looking for a woman who they find attractive (this is innate) where as a fair portion of women are looking for a man who can provide (equal to or above their income; something earned or not innate). Hence the statement that value is earned by a man, to be qualified for a relationship.
So God says people are inherently valuable because they are made in His image...except within romantic relationships. These are beyond the sphere of God's influence and have special rules? Should Christians, who presumably understand the inherent value imbued in others by God, insist that women are only valuable to romantic relationships if they are attractive and men are only valuable if they are providers?

If Christians accede the point that value is based in anything other than God, we will, like the larger culture, be forced to dance with the partner we chose.

Personally, I'd rather be dancing with God.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,827
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#24
I was really blessed and ministered to by your post, @BenFTW. And wholeheartedly agree!

A worldy pursuit is riches, but the righteous man's pursuit is wisdom. The topic is actually so loaded it would take me all night (as it is here) to unpack it.

But to add to that comment, let me quote from 1 Corinthians 1:30, which says that ultimately CHRIST is the wisdom of God!!

As we pursue wisdom, we are slowly conformed to His image (Rom. 8:29).

Isn't it awesome how the Lord promises us in James 1 that if we ask for His wisdom, He won't withhold it from us? Indeed, the wisdom of God is foolishness to man (1 Cor. 1). It often requires giving when one would naturally receive... it involves sacrifice when one would naturally preserve...

I'm reminded of James 3:17,
But the WISDOM that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without hypocrisy. (And then he adds,) Now the fruit of RIGHTEOUSNESS is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Wisdom and righteousness go hand in hand!!

Going back to your orignal post, James 3 would be a pretty apt description of what a virtuous woman would expect from a righteous man... and the woman being the glory of the man (1 Cor. 11:7) (and wisdom personified - Prov 1,2), that virtuous woman would perfectly reflect him. Suddenly we see more than a man and a woman, we see the mystery of Christ and His Bride!! (Ephesians 5:32)

What a picture to aspire to! What a vision for marriage! If only we would raise the standard from pursuing wealth to pursuing Christ... (Sorry, getting carried away here!! 🤗)

Well said, Ben, and thank you for giving me something to chew on!
You had me doing gymnastics around the Bible going from verse to verse, haha. 🤸🏻 But I loved all the references, thanks for sharing.

I do love that about God and His principles; often times God’s wisdom is a paradox to the natural man. Like you said, how is it that a man gives, subtracts from his wealth, and yet prospers (multiplies)?

Proverbs 11:24 King James Version
24 There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty.

Another thing, I’ve always liked the idea of a woman being a man’s glory (as you mentioned). She is an extension of him, I mean they are after all one. It is a beautiful thing. She reflects his character. I suppose you can know a lot about a man by the condition of his wife.

Appreciate you taking the time to post all that you have! It’s making for good conversation.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
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#25
So God says people are inherently valuable because they are made in His image...except within romantic relationships. These are beyond the sphere of God's influence and have special rules? Should Christians, who presumably understand the inherent value imbued in others by God, insist that women are only valuable to romantic relationships if they are attractive and men are only valuable if they are providers?

If Christians accede the point that value is based in anything other than God, we will, like the larger culture, be forced to dance with the partner we chose.

Personally, I'd rather be dancing with God.
Ask yourself the question, valuable for what? You are not valuable to me, for example, in gardening if you do not know how to tend to a garden. Or, you are not valuable to me if you lack the expertise required for the job. Value as an image bearer of God does not constitute being valuable as a good wife or husband or even viable as such.

Yes we all have inherent value. But we are not all valuable to certain people for certain purposes under certain circumstances. You know how people jest and say “that’s wifey material?” She has certain values that make her valuable, in the eyes of that individual.

So, whether it resonates with you or not, or the standards you personally hold, people do have value dependent upon factors that are not innate. Being a provider is one of them, unless of course you are a trust fund baby, lol.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,495
659
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#26
Comparable virtue mixed with masculine qualities.

Looking for a so-called "bad boy" or a "soy boy" is a sign of a character defect in the woman.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,024
3,264
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#27
This one is interesting because instead of simply focusing on a person having money, you are focusing instead on the stewardship of their finances. I like that. Are they a responsible individual? 👍🏻

The spotlight, oh yes. It has pros and cons, but if the motives and intentions of the heart are right it is worth it (especially in obedience to the Lord). A city on a hill, as you know. It will be noticed but for what reason are you shining? For whom?

Thanks Seoul for the response.
Hi Ben!

Thanks for taking the time to respond. :)

To paraphrase a secular saying: "It's not (necessarily) the size of the bank account that matters -- it's how the person manages it."

I think a popular misconception about money is that the bigger the number the better, and it's then assumed that people are somehow naturally good at managing money, especially the more they bring in.

I used to work at a service desk with a bill-paying service. There was a young doctor (probably in his 30's) who would come in every month, and every bill he brought in had a red "Past Due" on it (and all the bills were in his name -- "Dr. X.") I don't know what his circumstances were and I'm not saying this in judgment -- but I find it ironic when women want to marry a man who is a doctor or lawyer just because they think he's bringing in a lot of money. He very well could be, but that doesn't mean he manages it well.

My parents have had a ministry for many years in which they help people set up budgets, pay off their credit cards, and get out of debt.

One of the most interesting couples they told me about (anonymously, as I have no idea who they were and never met them) was about a pediatrician and his wife, who also had a prestigious medical position. Together, they were bringing in nearly half a million dollars a year -- but they couldn't pay their bills -- because they insisted on having the latest and greatest of everything.

When my parents tried to develop a budget for them, they each insisted on having at least $800 in spending money a week (per person.) They had houses, boats, expensive clothes, cars, and watches -- and a mountain of bills they couldn't keep up with. The husband wanted to hire my Dad to manage his finances for him, but my Dad turned him down because he and my mom are very happily committed to their (completely free) ministry.

It's ironic to me that someone can be brilliant in one area, like medicine, but that doesn't mean that they automatically have the knowledge or discipline to handle money.

One thing I have learned from all of this is that I would be much more interested in a guy who makes $30,000 a year and manages it well than someone who makes $300,000 a year and doesn't even know where it's going.

A man doesn't have to be the most talented, good-looking, or bring in the biggest cash flow to get a woman's attention.

Rather, it's much more attractive (to me at least) when someone is aware of both his strengths and his weaknesses and seeks God out to do his best with whatever God has given him, whether it be intellectual, social, spiritual, or financial.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
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#28
Hi Ben!

Thanks for taking the time to respond. :)

To paraphrase a secular saying: "It's not (necessarily) the size of the bank account that matters -- it's how the person manages it."

I think a popular misconception about money is that the bigger the number the better, and it's then assumed that people are somehow naturally good at managing money, especially the more they bring in.

I used to work at a service desk with a bill-paying service. There was a young doctor (probably in his 30's) who would come in every month, and every bill he brought in had a red "Past Due" on it (and all the bills were in his name -- "Dr. X.") I don't know what his circumstances were and I'm not saying this in judgment -- but I find it ironic when women want to marry a man who is a doctor or lawyer just because they think he's bringing in a lot of money. He very well could be, but that doesn't mean he manages it well.

My parents have had a ministry for many years in which they help people set up budgets, pay off their credit cards, and get out of debt.

One of the most interesting couples they told me about (anonymously, as I have no idea who they were and never met them) was about a pediatrician and his wife, who also had a prestigious medical position. Together, they were bringing in nearly half a million dollars a year -- but they couldn't pay their bills -- because they insisted on having the latest and greatest of everything.

When my parents tried to develop a budget for them, they each insisted on having at least $800 in spending money a week (per person.) They had houses, boats, expensive clothes, cars, and watches -- and a mountain of bills they couldn't keep up with. The husband wanted to hire my Dad to manage his finances for him, but my Dad turned him down because he and my mom are very happily committed to their (completely free) ministry.

It's ironic to me that someone can be brilliant in one area, like medicine, but that doesn't mean that they automatically have the knowledge or discipline to handle money.

One thing I have learned from all of this is that I would be much more interested in a guy who makes $30,000 a year and manages it well than someone who makes $300,000 a year and doesn't even know where it's going.

A man doesn't have to be the most talented, good-looking, or bring in the biggest cash flow to get a woman's attention.

Rather, it's much more attractive (to me at least) when someone is aware of both his strengths and his weaknesses and seeks God out to do his best with whatever God has given him, whether it be intellectual, social, spiritual, or financial.
It’s a sad trap for a person to live by the perception of others (or maybe to their perception would the right way to say it). We all certainly do it to a degree. We don’t want to be seen as cheap, for example.

Keeping up with the Joneses doesn’t make sense to me. To me, you buy a nice car because you personally like the car (as an artist may buy a painting). For me to buy it to impress my neighbors? That is vanity, it is pointless. It serves no purpose, unless of course you have people who are trying to climb the corporate ladder and they want to be perceived as having money. They do it to possibly open doors, in their reasoning.

Yet still, people will suffer for the sake of looking good.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,692
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#29
The Bible doesnt say anything about a virtuous woman looking for a man. She minds her OWN business. Even when she is married, like the Proverbs 31 woman, Shes not looking for a man. Shes way too busy.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,692
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#30
I have a friend whos last name was Jones, but then she got married and changed her name.
I never tried to 'keep up' with her family lol. I am just friends with her.
Bridget Jones, well, I read another of her books the other week. The only thing she keeps is a diary full of embarassing thoughts.
 

TimothyGirl

Active member
Jul 19, 2019
187
149
43
#31
how is it that a man gives, subtracts from his wealth, and yet prospers (multiplies)?
You've got it!! My pastor always says that the kingdom principles work in reverse: to add you subtract, and to multiply you divide (share) -- that's what happened with the 5 loaves and the 2 fish... 😉


I have always loved getting into the "meat" of the Word (and doing the gymnastics myself!! 😁) so thanks for creating the opportunity to do so!!


I’ve always liked the idea of a woman being a man’s glory (as you mentioned). She is an extension of him, I mean they are after all one. It is a beautiful thing. She reflects his character. I suppose you can know a lot about a man by the condition of his wife.
Totally agreed! When I was younger, I used to really struggle with this. I know a lot of females still do... but when you understand firstly what glory means, and then the order that God created, when you embrace it, it liberates you into what He designed us for.
Glory = express image of (Hebrews 1:3)
If man is the glory of Christ, and woman is the glory of man, does that make her any less Christlike? No! She reflects her husband in every way, who is meant to reflect Christ in every way -- its so beautiful when you can see God's design!!! This is what Christ restored on the Cross... the image that was lost when Adam fell (Rom. 1:23). He restored our glory. And like it says in 2 Corinthians 3:14-18, when we turn to Christ (and gaze at His Image through the Word), then "we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the GLORY OF THE LORD, are being TRANSFORMED into the SAME IMAGE from glory (fallen man under the law) to glory (glory of Christ under grace!), just as BY THE SPIRIT of the Lord."!

I hope I'm not getting too technical here. I said in my previous post that our pursuit is to be Christ. Christ is revealed to us in His Word. And as we devour His Word, the Spirit tranforms us into that very image we are beholding in the Word. Another Scripture that comes to mind is Colossians 3:10... and 2 Peter 3:18... There's so much more I could say, but let me stop here 🙊

I'll leave you with one more verse before I go:

"Let us know, let us PURSUE the KNOWLEDGE OF THE LORD."!!
Hosea 6:3

Thank you for the discussion! 😊 My mind is ticking and I feel full, blessed and edified as I go to sleep now, so thank you!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,692
4,225
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#32
In the Bible, it was sinful women who sought out Jesus, the virtuous women, or the self righteous, tended to stay away, lol.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,654
4,582
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#33
Talking about fame though... fame can be a good thing though. I know a guy who's famous for a lot of good things. He's in his 60s and already married, but if I ever grow up I want to grow up to be like him.

He's famous for turning a five minute trip to the store into a half hour trip, because he sees a few people he knows and they stop and chat.

He's famous for always knowing who is a good (dentist, mechanic, plumber, whatever) if you need to find one.

He's famous for buckling down and getting the job done while everybody else is arguing.

He's famous in just about every good restaurant around here. They all know how he likes his food cooked and they know to just set the unsweet tea pitcher on the table so they won't have to run their feet off keeping his glass filled. If you want a good, soft fish fillet in this area, tell them "Cook it like you cook it for Freddy." He doesn't talk a lot but somehow he's a charmer.

He's also my uncle. If he ever dies I don't know what I'll do to find a good car dealer next time I need one. And if he ever dies we'll probably have to rent the school gym... no way our church could handle the crowd for the funeral.
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
750
179
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#34
Today I watched some worldly podcasts on dating and life, out of curiosity to see what the world thinks. “Where is society?”, I wondered. Let me tell you that I nearly felt like crying. Young women selling their image for money to become financially independent in a year. Girls selling their virginity for six figures. Men arguing that as a high value man they have the right to exercise their options and sleep with multiple women and their wife should accept it. The women at the table… agreed (some). These are the standards the world is accepting and promoting.

I saw someone donate to the podcast with a point and it said that women want someone with power, money, or fame. But it made me wonder, what does the Bible say women should seek in a man? What should a virtuous woman look for in a righteous man?

The podcasts were interesting, no doubt. Points like, “Women are born with value, men have to earn value.” I can see that, in terms of beauty and then a man having to provide security to a woman by increasing his ability to provide. I was careful though, because I didn’t want the world’s values to be adopted by me. In such a podcast I have to remember these people do not know righteousness. They do not know God. Their morality is not grounded in truth. They speak of traditional values without acknowledging their source.

I ask you, women of God (both single and married), what do you believe you should seek in a man? Biblically, what should a righteous man look like (*cough* Jesus *cough*)? What standards are essential? I understand nuance, personal likings (height, weight, etc) and the desire for a man to be at a certain bracket financially, but from the Bible, what are you as a virtuous woman, supposed to expect of a righteous man? Do you, as the world, seek power, money, and fame in your man (righteously so or not, justified or not)?

Have at it virtuous women! 😁
In order to answer the question about what a virtuous woman should look for in a man, we need to study what the Bible says about the design role of a Christian husband. The Bible says that husbands should …

- AGAPE LOVE their wives like Christ loved the church. Eph 5:25
- DIE for their wives. Ephesians 5:25
- NOURISH and CHERISH their wives. Eph 5:29
- should not be harsh with their wives. Col 3:19
- PRAISE their wives for their good deeds. Pro 31:28
- TRUST their wives, if they are virtuous. Pro 31:11
- HONOR their wives. 1 Pet 3:7
- dwell with their wives in an UNDERSTANDING way. 1 Pet 3:7
- Recognize and treat their wives as co-heirs of grace. 1 Pet 3:7
- be FAITHFUL to their own wives. Pro 5:15
- should not have sex with other women. Pro 5:17
- be happy with the wives they married when they were young. Pro 5:18
- be attracted to their own wives and stay deeply in love. Pro 5:19

Based on the instructions given to husbands, potential Christian husbands should cultivate the following virtues:
Agape love (The characteristics are listed in 1 Cor. 13:4)

Be nourishing (Can he feed a potential spouse physically and spiritually?)

Not be harsh (Is he gentle and kind?)

Praise (How is his speech? Does he consistently use language that edifies rather than negatively criticizes?)

Trust (Will he trust a potential spouse if she is speaking wisdom?)

Honor (Does he respect women? Is he intentional about honoring his commitments?)

Will he treat a potential wife as a co-heir of grace or will he treat her like some lesser being?

Faithfulness (Does he believe that a man should be monogamous to his wife?)

Understanding
Proverbs tells us how a man of understanding behaves ...
  • a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels. Pr 1:5
  • Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Pr 11:12
  • A patient man has great understanding. Pr 14:29
  • Foolishness brings joy to one without sense, but a man with understanding walks a straight path. Pr 15:21
  • A man of understanding is even-tempered. Pr 17:27
That's a tall order and long list, but it is scripture. No man or woman (besides Jesus) is perfect. Even men (and women) striving to love like Jesus and cultivate the fruit of the spirit will fall short.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,654
4,582
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#35
One thing you really want to make sure you look for is a Christian.

Who is a Christian? One who follows Christ.

What does it mean to follow Christ? To do what Christ did.

What did Christ do? He helped people who needed help. He was the mortician's worst nightmare - he ended more funerals than Hadacol. He was always stopping to talk to the woman at the well, who needed direction, or have lunch with ole Zacchaeus, who just needed a friend, or heal blind eyes or something.

Ladies, you want a good man? Look for the one who helps people. Look for the one who has "helpful" as his default state of thinking.

The key here is selfless thinking, as opposed to selfish thinking.
 
Apr 3, 2020
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#36
So God says people are inherently valuable because they are made in His image...except within romantic relationships. These are beyond the sphere of God's influence and have special rules? Should Christians, who presumably understand the inherent value imbued in others by God, insist that women are only valuable to romantic relationships if they are attractive and men are only valuable if they are providers?

If Christians accede the point that value is based in anything other than God, we will, like the larger culture, be forced to dance with the partner we chose.

Personally, I'd rather be dancing with God.
So God says people are inherently valuable because they are made in His image...except within romantic relationships. These are beyond the sphere of God's influence and have special rules? Should Christians, who presumably understand the inherent value imbued in others by God, insist that women are only valuable to romantic relationships if they are attractive and men are only valuable if they are providers?

If Christians accede the point that value is based in anything other than God, we will, like the larger culture, be forced to dance with the partner we chose.

Personally, I'd rather be dancing with God.
This is interesting. So you think all men and all women of any age have the same value when it comes to romantic relationships? You just walk outside and see souls? Never been jealous of money a new house or car? And anything less is anti god.

The OP is correct women are born with value and men are not and have to earn value. Another way to say women peak early and men peak late. A womans best chance to get the man she wants is in her 20s anything else is a lie. A mans best chance is in his 30-40s.

Men live totally different lives as a former 20yo man i can tell you i had no value to women until i turned 30.
 

yinkbell

New member
May 27, 2021
12
6
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#38
You
Okay, so curiosity got the better of me on this thread. And I agree with Tabin, interesting – and thought-provoking – question, @BenFTW.

I hear what you’re saying. It seems that priorities for a worldly woman are fame, fortune (finances) and influence. As a (I want to say, “modern”) Christian, whilst, these should not be top priorities in looking for a husband, are they, in reality, on the priority list – and if so, how far up or down? Have I understood you correctly?

Your original question is, “From the Bible, what are you, as a virtuous woman, supposed to expect of a righteous man?”

You hit the nail on the head with your description there, Ben. What should we expect from a righteous man? To throw a cat amongst the pigeons, I’d like to highlight the first “righteous man” that comes to mind. No, not Jesus, but his adopted dad, Joseph.

The Bible calls him a “righteous” man. Let’s read his profile in Matthew 1:19,

“Then Joseph her husband, being a just (Strong’s #1342: dikaios – upright, blameless, RIGHTEOUS, conforming to God’s laws and man’s), and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly.”

Joseph was a righteous man and yet he was by no means well off financially. In fact, they were so poor that they could not afford to redeem the Son of God with a lamb – they had to resort to the poor man’s concession and redeem Him with two turtle doves. Yet God saw fit for this righteous man to father His Son – not because of his ability to provide, but his character and ability to raise him in godliness. I’m not in any way suggesting that it is a virtue to be poor, but I am suggesting that when choosing a partner, it is not whether he is wealthy or not that should be the swaying factor, but that he is RIGHTEOUS.

To swing the table the other way, the second “righteous man” that comes to mind is our dear friend Boaz. The Bible doesn’t necessarily call him a righteous man, but we know that he is one. Here is a man who possesses all three attributes: fame, wealth and influence. But it was because of his righteousness that God saw fit for him to become the great grandfather of King David.

Another righteous man with “the full package” according to worldy standards is Job. And yet we see what suffering and hardship he went through because of his righteousness.

To me, I would personally re-phrase the original question and say,
“As a virtuous woman, what are you looking for in a man?”
And my answer would be righteousness.

So what is righteousness then? Abraham was called righteous because he BELIEVED in God. So we know that righteousness has to do with faith. From the account of Joseph that I used above, we see that the word “righteous” and the word “just” can be interchangeable.

Habakkuk 2:4 says
“the JUST (RIGHTEOUS) shall live by his FAITH.”

My pastor always says that self-righteousness is taking care of yourself at the cost of others; righteousness is taking care of others at the cost of yourself and TRUSTING IN GOD for your provision (Isn’t that a beautiful description of Jesus?).

In essence, it is a deep trust in God that makes you righteous. It is that trust that leads to obedience to the Lord in the craziest situations.

If you are looking for financial security, DON’T go looking for a righteous man! Because he, like Abraham, just might make some crazy decisions in his obedience to God. Or like Job, he might end up going through a hard time BECAUSE of his righteousness. Or God might deprive you of financial prosperity to work on your character and teach you to look to HIM and not to yourself for provision, like Joseph.

At the end of the day, give me a righteous man who walks in obedience to God over a “Christian” man who believes in Jesus for eternal salvation yet looks to money for short-term “salvation.”

Let me work on being that virtuous woman, like Ruth, so that God can send me that righteous man – and make sure I’m not like Job’s wife, who, when the moment things got tough, abandoned her faith in God because material possessions meant more to her than character.

A different perspective, but food for thought anyway!
You are so ground in scripture. God bless you real good. Please, do well to create more thread in this forum, I will gladly follow you up. Cheers!
 

EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
1,226
55
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#39
-First and foremost, someone who is a firm Christian, and preferably someone who is well known throughout the community as such. -Someone who is respectable and has dignity.
-Masculine
-A go-getter: someone who makes up their mind to do something and then does it!
-Humble, polite, and understands the power of "please and thank you".
-Knows and enjoys the Bible
-Goes to church
-Has good friends, as a person can be pretty well understood by who they keep close company with
-Kind
-And I'm a big family person so I very much wanted someone who would love my family and that had a family that would love me.
-Someone who wanted to save sex for marriage, and didn't have a long history of girlfriends.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,692
4,225
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#40
according to Ruth, she looked for Boazs feet.
Mary also washed Jesus feet.

In the bible its says how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!
It also says how toes are a really important member in the body of Christ.

So I would say...FEET