What Things About a Dating Profile/PM Would Make You Want to Reply?

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JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
466
83
#22
Love Jesus, good sense of humor, could laugh at self, traveled, education, passion to live life, and real.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,245
2,267
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#25
Profile- don't just say you have a good sense of humor, demonstrate it. Also complete words and sentences (or bullet point lists are also acceptable). If I have to translate a wall of text in textese, rest assured I'm not going to desire further written communication with you. And I'm reading this profile to find out who you are what sort of life you lead so that I can determine whether you are someone I want to consider joining my life with or not; so talk way more about your life, values, and what you already do that I could have the opportunity to be a part of rather than all the things you want from me or expect to magically happen when a girl becomes part of your life. And give me some potentially interesting facts about you so that if I want to get to know you better, well there's some pretty simple things to ask you more about.

PM's - So if I'm on the receiving end of e-mails or PM's, you basically need to get specific enough to convince me that you took the time to read about me and you're interested in me, not just contacting any random girl to see who is desperate enough to write back. That and demonstrating a certain level of commonality and maturity and stuff. And be real and sincere because I totally don't trust flattery and it will backfire on you.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,198
4,088
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#26
That's good, I've heard of some that post pics 20 yrs younger than they are, not such a good idea...lol.
This reminds me of a guy I went out with years ago from a Christian dating site... He told me he had gone out with another girl from the site who had posted old pictures of herself in her profile, but passed them off as being recent When he went to go pick her up, she was at least 100 lbs. heavier than her pictures.

I understand that people are afraid of rejection and are probably hoping that if someone just got to know them, they could see past most of the physical.

But, I think it also opens up a discussion about honesty, and to what extent it needs to be expressed when presenting oneself in such a situation.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
21,666
6,575
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#27
I'll definitely have to put this on my list of "Do Not Respond To the Following..." -- people who see right through me and smash my cover stories to smithereens. :whistle:
Well good luck with that. Let us know if you get any bites... Or if you get bitten...
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,877
6,863
113
#28
One of my biggest turn offs in online dating is massive amounts of cleavage in profile pics.

I'll usually just skip right over those.
Same with guys who show their chest.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,877
6,863
113
#29
I'm usually a sucker for humour if a guy was to PM me, oh and the mention of dogs, yes dogs.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
21,666
6,575
113
#30
Ah, now that I am home with a real computer... I can give this thread the proper xkcd treatment.



 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,245
2,267
113
#31
I get the feeling that if Lynx were ever bothered to create a dating profile, it would be a collage of comics and song lyrics.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
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#33
Hey Everyone,

It's been several years since I've been on dating sites, but I know one thing they all have in common is the enormous deluge of other profiles that make you feel like you have to make yourself sound "interesting" enough to talk to. Now of course, pictures are usually what get the most attention, but aside from that, what would grab your interest when reading a profile or PM?

I know one thing that I used to pass by were profiles that seemed to say, "Here I am, here's what I want, here's what you can do for me, and here's how I expect you to fulfill my never-endng list of specific needs and wants." This inspired me to try to include at least a few things in my dating profile that I thought I could offer another person, as well as saying that, "Knowing that God calls a wife to be a helpmate, I am looking for the one I would be happy serving for the rest of my life." And of course, I was looking for someone who would be happy with mutually serving and giving to someone else, rather than just taking.

As far as PM's went, I had some things in my profile that were seen as highly undesirable (the fact that I was divorced, for example) and cut way down on the number of contacts I received, which I understood. However, if I did receive a reply, I have to confess that I was always a bit disheartened by cookie cutter PM's that were obviously cut, pasted, and sent out to hundreds of other candidates as well. I never used to answer those, but then I read several posts by men who expressed their frustration at the fact that they might send out 200 hundred messages and never even receive a single reply. I guess I have mixed feelings about that, because on one hand, who has time to write 200 hand-crafted, individualized messages, but on the other hand, who wants to feel like fish caught in a dragnet that's been hauled across the bottom of an ocean of other profiles?

But, I can definitely understand these feelings of discouragement, and would now go more by the person's profile rather than an initial generic PM.

How about the rest of you? What stands out to you when you read a profile or PM?

It doesn't have to be on a dating site, either--it could just as easily be here on good old CC or any other site.

* In a sea of other profiles, what would make a particular profile stand out and convince you to get to know the author a little better?

* With so many thousands of other members to choose to get to know, what would you put in your profile that you believe might stand out, even if it's just to meet new friends here on CC?

Nothing... I post things and people figure what ever it is about me out. Or not...
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
985
1,011
93
#34
This reminds me of a guy I went out with years ago from a Christian dating site... He told me he had gone out with another girl from the site who had posted old pictures of herself in her profile, but passed them off as being recent When he went to go pick her up, she was at least 100 lbs. heavier than her pictures.
I understand that people are afraid of rejection and are probably hoping that if someone just got to know them, they could see past most of the physical.

But, I think it also opens up a discussion about honesty, and to what extent it needs to be expressed when presenting oneself in such a situation.
Makes me think of this t-shirt I saw once...
IMG_20190201_192007.jpg
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
8,389
3,076
113
#35
Hmm.

And now Demi has me thinking that a profile picture with a pile of wrapped, uneaten chocolate bars and a note saying, "These are all for you"... just might get a lot of attention.

Of course, the next (and most pressing) questions would be which brands and what kind of chocolate. :unsure:
LOL
To Lure the Happy Go Lucky guy:
1549078215268.png
To Lure the Big Rugged Cavalier guy:
1549078284050.png
To lure the Healthy Fitness minded guy:
1549078056813.png
 
Jan 30, 2019
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#36
A profile that is well written, honest, sincere and humorous always catches my attention. I have never been one to look any further than beautiful eyes and a pretty smile. Also a mention of scripture and the importance it has in their life is key. Honestly when you meet the one God has planned for you. You'll know it. That's what I'm waiting on. Hope that helps.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
8,389
3,076
113
#37
Have to concede that this one is tricky...
1) I'm out of practice, 2) I have to be careful not to incriminate myself, 3) What I'm looking for are a combination of highly sought after characteristics that are rarely found in today's human habitats and as such they are to be regarded as very close hold, confidential and even secretive... lol...

Just as Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting... A guy who has been snake-bit - has to be able to have a means of unmasking the deceivers and tricksters...

You see the dilemma is all about the uniqueness of these characteristics, and creating conditions to guard their pedigree in order to have assurance that if and when I happen to come across the rare combination of these highly sought after characteristics in an online dating site that I will have a higher level of confidence in knowing that they are in fact genuine characteristics of the woman who is intuitively inclined to reveal these qualities as her own... wait for it...

So essentially, you're asking me to compromise the answers to the professor's final exam such that the entire graduating class has the convenience of copying and pasting into their profile... lol... just being silly... but seriously... no I'm just kidding... am I? I don't know anymore...

These are my thoughts:
- I think that a woman who fears the lord should be praised...
- While many women do noble things - I think that if a woman is willing to reveal something about her heart, that genuinely reveals that she does grasp the essence of 'her soul.' - this would be a golden reveal that I personally would be drawn toward...
- If she has the ability to acknowledge that she is imperfect, while acknowledging herself as a diamond in the rough - that would be revealing, genuine and attractive at the same time...
- I think that it is attractive for a woman to know her value/worth and to toot her own horn a bit to showcase her best qualities, while maintaining an element of mystery about herself, maybe even a bit of self confidence or sassiness...

I think (I really don't know if this is too over the top) these characteristics would apply to My future post, and it would definitely catch my attention if they were on a woman's profile as well:
- Monogamy is required, and regardless of whether someone has gone thru a divorce is irrelevant.
- Demonstrate genuine interest in finally finding that permanent companion, and life-partner.
- Assert that I am uniquely capable of loving and ensuring that my future life-partner feels loved unconditionally for the rest of our lives.
- Demonstrate willingness to move mountains, make sacrifices to earn her respect, trust and confidence
- I know that everyone sees this different - but I am a hopeless romantic and believer in soulmates...
- I will demonstrate my honor and my commitment to my future life partner...
- I will listen to my future Queen to hear, to understand and to respect her message...
- I will allow her dreams, aspirations and desires to influence mine...
- So the idea of sharing the rest of this life and an eternal life with my soulmate is the dream that I will take to my grave...
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#38
I have never done online dating and reading the posts here makes me never want to try. :eek:
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,877
6,863
113
#39
I'm usually a sucker for humour if a guy was to PM me, oh and the mention of dogs, yes dogs.
But on a serious note, what really attracts me to a man is the way he will express his love for God and God alone. A man who (like King David) is after God's heart, and is pursuing only God's heart. A man who is not afraid to put in his profile that he is a Jesus follower and believes that Jesus died on the cross for us and was resurrected.

Also, personally I would ask God for his wisdom and discernment in what I read in profiles, only because words are words and anyone can manipulate what we want to hear or read - so God's wisdom is needed here.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#40
In this “cyber age”, with online dating and flirting, can’t you employ old school tactics? I’m not looking for a mate but if I was, the last thing I would be looking for is someone addicted to the internet and social media. My profile would be elusive, including a picture not close enough to count laughlines doing something I enjoy doing. Instead of saying I liked camping with friends, I would put a picture of me and some couples around a campfire, with an empty chair. Caption stating, “saved you a spot”. As well, I would apologize ahead of time for not getting back to them very soon because Im probably out walking my dog on the beach, on vacation, hanging with my kids or at the gym and I don’t spend a lot of time on the computer. Then I wouldn’t respond until at least after they responded to me.

Tactic: Appear interesting, then play hard to get. It’s been the way people have been baiting the marriage trap for centuries.

As much as we think we are looking for a soulmate, we are actually looking for a lifemate. We desire a life we want, and we hope to find a mate to give it to us. Chances are if you are really as interesting as your profile...you are taken, or lying to yourself.