What would be the best reason to be involved in a serios relationship with someone?

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aris

aris

Member
#1
Apr 26, 2013
53
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#1
What would be the best reason to be involved in a serios relationship with someone, if there is no love yet?
 
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MissCris

Guest
#2
#2
I'm not entirely sure what you mean...how "serious" is the relationship, if you don't love each other?
 
aris

aris

Member
#3
Apr 26, 2013
53
1
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#3
Ok let me explain, If a guy come and ask you to be his girlfriend, but you don't love him yet(I don't belive in love at first sight), what would make you say "Yes" to him? The reason to say yes.
 
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kaytyndy

Guest
#4
#4
No good reason at all
 
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MissCris

Guest
#5
#5
Oh...I see. I guess in that case, you make your decision to date him or not date him based on...your preferences, if he believes the same way as you, if you even know anything about him...

But I don't advise jumping head-first into a "serious relationship" right off the bat- I really believe you should be friends first, get to know each other and decide if you like each other well enough to move on to dating.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#6
Apr 18, 2013
9,412
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#6
aris said:
Ok let me explain, If a guy come and ask you to be his girlfriend, but you don't love him yet(I don't belive in love at first sight), what would make you say "Yes" to him? The reason to say yes.
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Maybe you should skip the "girlfriend" stage for now, and just concentrate on the "friend" stage for a while.

: )
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#7
#7
maxwel said:
Maybe you should skip the "girlfriend" stage for now, and just concentrate on the "friend" stage for a while.

: )
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True that.....
 
aris

aris

Member
#8
Apr 26, 2013
53
1
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#8
Well I was talking in general, I don't plan on having any bf. I was just thinking of reasons to be someone's gf. The fact is that love takes time, and I doubt that people get into a relationship just after they start loving eachother, many start a relationship if they like eachother which is different from love.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#9
#9
I think the reasons that a woman chooses to become somebody's girlfriend should include "because I can imagine loving this person at some point".

But first, like I said, it should start with friendship. Or maybe someone else said that, I don't know, I don't want to scroll up :p
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#10
Aug 17, 2009
892
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#10
I think if you could see yourself marrying this person. If there is no love there would need to be a lot of common interests... and then I would question why not simply hang out for a while first.
 
sandtigeress

sandtigeress

Senior Member
#11
Apr 29, 2013
526
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#11
ok, I`m game but I take the other side
reasons to consider not to date someone (consider him as a later bf) :
- he is not a dependable friend
- you can not think of spending all your time with him (like the next 50-60 years) :)
- his values do not corespond to yours
- your humor is not compatable (he does not laugh at your jokes or you not at his) !!!!
- you do not like him (either ethically or physically)
- he does not respect your boundaries
And dating is a time consuming work, you get to know the other person, before you decide to be his gf :)

A good way to choose is also to bring it into prayer.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#12
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#12
This thread isa quandry from a guy's perspective too.


I agree with the OP very much.



But I've had little to no success trying to be friends with a girl first, when I like her a lot. Usually me liking someone a lot means its doomed. Doomed I say, doomed.


Whereas if I say, I would like for you to be my girlfriend very much, when I don't know someone likes me. (or something like that) ....I dunno, I haven't tried that. seems too forward and too much of an imposition. Or that I would be lying or disingenuous at the very least.



Also never tried this either:
(I have fawned over thee from whence my eyes first set their gaze upon thy figure. Thy visage is as the rising of the north star, the dawning of angels or the distress of mountains. Thine locks are as supple as the nectar of the dark forest oak, and thy vigor is as the watchful killdeer.)



Actually, my relationships usually start with something like, wanna hang out and watch the first season of Veronica Mars on Netflix. I have Pizza rolls, pringles and I'm making tea. If you bring marshmellows, I have a torch and we could roast them in the living room.... Which turns into a an escalated friendship. Then eventually a relationship. Eventually, maybe.
 
aris

aris

Member
#13
Apr 26, 2013
53
1
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#13
In my opinion most relationships don't start with love, even if they were friends at first. Most relationships start with "I like you a lot(or less)" or with passion for that person which is not love. Love is a decision you make everyday not a feeling(in my opinion). And you can't take that decision unless you at least like that someone.
 
P

prodigal

Guest
#14
#14
reported as scam

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Click to expand...
 
TigerScent777

TigerScent777

Banned
#15
May 24, 2013
477
8
0
#15
aris said:
What would be the best reason to be involved in a serios relationship with someone, if there is no love yet?
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...if you believed and was fully convicted that it was your God-inspired destiny in Him to be together would be the best reason in that context; apart from that - there can be no other reason...

...but to be certain of that is another matter...

...by default, if there is no love there and deep desire - don't go there....
 
TigerScent777

TigerScent777

Banned
#16
May 24, 2013
477
8
0
#16
aris said:
In my opinion most relationships don't start with love, even if they were friends at first. Most relationships start with "I like you a lot(or less)" or with passion for that person which is not love. Love is a decision you make everyday not a feeling(in my opinion). And you can't take that decision unless you at least like that someone.
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I don't believe love is an intellectual decision. Its an opening of the heart to another mutually, that goes beyond emotion even - yet is expressed by it, but is a state on another level that goes beyond the ordinary...I believe in 'no ordinary love' ... have felt it for a short time, have glimpsed it, but has never lasted - its the heavenly realms of love ... you start to move into...Gods original plan for marriage...
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#17
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#17
You can finally use all of your '2 combos for the price of 1' restaurant coupons.
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#18
#18
aris said:
What would be the best reason to be involved in a serios relationship with someone, if there is no love yet?
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LOL. The first reaction here: The OP must be way young... :D

Well, the one reason to be in a relationship with anybody is for the sake of encouraging one another to seek God's face and glory for the remainder of our lives... Sighs joyfully...

Anything extra, over and beyond that type of relationship should include exclusive one-on-one attention with responsible love, unselfish love, committed love, forever Yours love and all the other godly, mushy stuff that usually goes great with a sparkling diamond whatchamacallit... :D
 
S

SeatBelt

Guest
#19
#19
aris said:
In my opinion most relationships don't start with love, even if they were friends at first. Most relationships start with "I like you a lot(or less)" or with passion for that person which is not love. Love is a decision you make everyday not a feeling(in my opinion). And you can't take that decision unless you at least like that someone.
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Yes, there is a conscious choice component to love, but it sounds like you don't even like this dude...
The choice to Start loving someone should be a choice that makes itself for you...
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#20
#20
aris said:
If a guy come and ask you to be his girlfriend, but you don't love him yet, what would make you say "Yes" to him?
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Well, ask the guy to explain to you what he means by "girlfriend."

If all he really wants is a "girlfriend" buddy to hang-out with in public during daylight hours and take you to sound Baptist Bible Studies, then I'd say, be at peace befriending the guy as long as you let him know that you ARE NOT in love with him.

After all, a godly man's job is to conquer your heart with prudence & patience at the same time he intensionally provokes you to seek God together with him.

On the other hand, if the guy thinks a "girlfriend" is his property he can use as he would a soap in the shower, like, Yikes! Scram Dude! Them kind aint clean...

Be forthcoming, and don't agree to a friendship you are not comfortable with. Always include the Lord in all that you say and do, and most definitely bring the Lord along in all your decisions. :)
 
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