where can I find a girl??

[Yahshua]

They're just having fun brother... please don't take it seriously.

EDIT: Having fun and offering constructive, loving criticism.

Hmmm...

I wonder if the roles were reversed (like I've read from a few threads in my short time here) and a woman said, "I'm looking for a handsome, sweet, and sensitive christian man to meet. I'm very faithful to god, and love him with my whole heart..." I wonder how different the responses would've been.

We wouldn't dare make light of her request for help in some of the ways some (not all) of you have done for this young man...or even for a moment would we entertain the possibility that somehow she was trying to be offensive to men simply because she happened to list her preferences in a man for her.

No, he didn't articulate it well but most teens can't...

And obviously he's an upstanding Christian boy who tries to live his life right...

So hear his heart.

In the same vein, teen girls (and even grown women) will often type on here about their problems, exaggerating them as if the world is ending several times over all around her, but we wouldn't DARE trivialize *how* she says what she says because obviously we see though to her heart; we see her need and pain.

Yet this boy becomes the object of passive-scorn based on (what I can only imagine are) assumptions of what his intentions are for future sweet girl (i.e. what you imagine him wanting to doing to her), when he gave no indication of anything other than genuine companionship for loneliness; yet having to defend his motives.

The double standard makes me sick.

DO UNTO OTHERS AND YOU WOULD HAVE THEN DO UNTO YOU...CHRISTIANS.

 

[zaoman32]

Hmmm...

I wonder if the roles were reversed (like I've read from a few threads in my short time here) and a woman said, "I'm looking for a handsome, sweet, and sensitive christian man to meet. I'm very faithful to god, and love him with my whole heart..." I wonder how different the responses would've been.

We wouldn't dare make light of her request for help in some of the ways some (not all) of you have done for this young man...or even for a moment would we entertain the possibility that somehow she was trying to be offensive to men simply because she happened to list her preferences in a man for her.

No, he didn't articulate it well but most teens can't...

And obviously he's an upstanding Christian boy who tries to live his life right...

So hear his heart.

In the same vein, teen girls (and even grown women) will often type on here about their problems, exaggerating them as if the world is ending several times over all around her, but we wouldn't DARE trivialize *how* she says what she says because obviously we see though to her heart; we see her need and pain.

Yet this boy becomes the object of passive-scorn based on (what I can only imagine are) assumptions of what his intentions are for future sweet girl (i.e. what you imagine him wanting to doing to her), when he gave no indication of anything other than genuine companionship for loneliness; yet having to defend his motives.

The double standard makes me sick.

DO UNTO OTHERS AND YOU WOULD HAVE THEN DO UNTO YOU...CHRISTIANS.

Ummm....no. Remember when I said we were going easy on him? There have been women known to make these same posts, and they've gotten responses far worse than these. It's ok, there is no "sexism" going on, there are no double standards. And if there were double standards I could think of more than a few girls here who would make darn well sure they wouldn't last.

And then there's this other thing, you might have heard of it but I'm not sure because so many have tried to get rid of it, but it's called humor. This is what occurs when someone says one thing that may be serious and another person makes a response that is in jest, or not serious, and is just meant for someone to laugh and cheer up a bit. I KNOW! it's incredibly difficult to believe, but people actual do it. And in some cases even the person they make the comment to doesn't get offended and actually finds it funny.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Hmmm...

I wonder if the roles were reversed (like I've read from a few threads in my short time here) and a woman said, "I'm looking for a handsome, sweet, and sensitive christian man to meet. I'm very faithful to god, and love him with my whole heart..." I wonder how different the responses would've been.

We wouldn't dare make light of her request for help in some of the ways some (not all) of you have done for this young man...or even for a moment would we entertain the possibility that somehow she was trying to be offensive to men simply because she happened to list her preferences in a man for her.

No, he didn't articulate it well but most teens can't...

And obviously he's an upstanding Christian boy who tries to live his life right...

So hear his heart.

In the same vein, teen girls (and even grown women) will often type on here about their problems, exaggerating them as if the world is ending several times over all around her, but we wouldn't DARE trivialize *how* she says what she says because obviously we see though to her heart; we see her need and pain.

Yet this boy becomes the object of passive-scorn based on (what I can only imagine are) assumptions of what his intentions are for future sweet girl (i.e. what you imagine him wanting to doing to her), when he gave no indication of anything other than genuine companionship for loneliness; yet having to defend his motives.

The double standard makes me sick.

DO UNTO OTHERS AND YOU WOULD HAVE THEN DO UNTO YOU...CHRISTIANS.

Really, the double standard makes you sick?? You've been here what... 5 days

 

[Ugly]

Hmmm...

I wonder if the roles were reversed (like I've read from a few threads in my short time here) and a woman said, "I'm looking for a handsome, sweet, and sensitive christian man to meet. I'm very faithful to god, and love him with my whole heart..." I wonder how different the responses would've been.

We wouldn't dare make light of her request for help in some of the ways some (not all) of you have done for this young man...or even for a moment would we entertain the possibility that somehow she was trying to be offensive to men simply because she happened to list her preferences in a man for her.

No, he didn't articulate it well but most teens can't...

And obviously he's an upstanding Christian boy who tries to live his life right...

So hear his heart.

In the same vein, teen girls (and even grown women) will often type on here about their problems, exaggerating them as if the world is ending several times over all around her, but we wouldn't DARE trivialize *how* she says what she says because obviously we see though to her heart; we see her need and pain.

Yet this boy becomes the object of passive-scorn based on (what I can only imagine are) assumptions of what his intentions are for future sweet girl (i.e. what you imagine him wanting to doing to her), when he gave no indication of anything other than genuine companionship for loneliness; yet having to defend his motives.

The double standard makes me sick.

DO UNTO OTHERS AND YOU WOULD HAVE THEN DO UNTO YOU...CHRISTIANS.

By 'do unto others' do you mean make unfounded assumptions on the behavior of people that you don't know and have no experience with. And accuse them of things you have no basis to assume of them? You just sat here and told everyone their own motivations when you don't know any of us. Perhaps you should follow your own advice and do unto others as you would have them do unto you and stop judging people and think you know their hearts and motives you hypocrite. YOUR double standard makes ME sick... and there's nothing Passive in my statement.

And, since you are so uninformed, though it doesn't seem to stop you from putting everyone down on things you know nothing about, everyone who comes on here, regardless of age, or gender, gets the same treatment when they start making requests about dating. So maybe next time you should learn to shut your mouth and learn about the people before you shoot your mouth off about things you know nothing about.

Talk about making people sick.

 

[gcaro7l]

I'm currently 19..turning 20 is december. I'm looking for a cute, sweet, and sensitive christian girl to date. I'm very faithful to god, and love him with my whole heart. I'm a non-denominational, and have not found a church just yet. Any help would be great??

Sorry i'm taken! haha! just kidding. Anyway, you'e very forward brother but i like that. Well, i hope you'll find what you're looking for in here. God bless!

 

[jrccomputer]

Sorry for being so direct. I'm a hurting person with a lot of sad stuff in my past. I have a close relationship with God. But I'm looking for a human/woman as someone who is human to talk to and share my emotions with. I'm a sensitive person.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Sorry for being so direct. I'm a hurting person with a lot of sad stuff in my past. I have a close relationship with God. But I'm looking for a human/woman as someone who is human to talk to and share my emotions with. I'm a sensitive person.

On a more serious note, I'm sorry your hurting.

One thing you must be careful of is unloading all that hurt and emotions on one person. It would probably be to over whelming. A relationship is not all about you. It's about both of you, so what do you plan on doing/being for her?
If your in this just to satisfy your need to talk about all the sad stuff/hurt your going through and have been through, you need to look else where.

 

[jrccomputer]

Is christian mingle good, is it worth it?? I found a girl I like!

 

[Yahshua]

One doesn't need to reply if one isn't guilty of it especially when I typed "some (not all) of you...", but i guess there was conviction of the spirit. That's sometimes hard to sit and deal with.

Really, the double standard makes you sick?? You've been here what... 5 days

Yes, doesn't take long to know people from reading their words. "And you will know them by the fruit they bear."

By 'do unto others' do you mean make unfounded assumptions on the behavior of people that you don't know and have no experience with. And accuse them of things you have no basis to assume of them?

Yup that exactly...you know, since scripture says "judge not lest ye be judged; for by the SAME measure you judge you will be judged."

This young man, who no one knows, was judged on unfounded assumptions; judged that his request got help wasn't a serious one, and the made a joke of. No basis? EXACTLY.

You just sat here and told everyone their own motivations when you don't know any of us.

Nope I told 'some' of you your motives; the guilty ones. The spirit then convicts whoever it needs to.

Perhaps you should follow your own advice and do unto others as you would have them do unto you and stop judging people and think you know their hearts and motives you hypocrite. YOUR double standard makes ME sick... and there's nothing Passive in my statement.

its not my advice but Christ's command and I do follow it evareydae. That's why I'm not guilty in this...

And, since you are so uninformed, though it doesn't seem to stop you from putting everyone down...

...There's that 'everyone' again. What you say would be true if I was talking to everyone. But...

Sorry for being so direct. I'm a hurting person with a lot of sad stuff in my past. I have a close relationship with God. But I'm looking for a human/woman as someone who is human to talk to and share my emotions with. I'm a sensitive person.

See...all it takes is a moment to read past his words and to listen to the spirit to see to the heart of the matter. And yet SOME people choose to make it a joke.

...And the foots in the mouth...

(I think I missed one of you..but I'm sure you'll get the point too.)

 

[jrccomputer]

What is the general feeling about christian mingle??

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

One doesn't need to reply if one isn't guilty of it especially when I typed "some (not all) of you...", but i guess there was conviction of the spirit. That's sometimes hard to sit and deal with.



Yes, doesn't take long to know people from reading their words. "And you will know them by the fruit they bear."



Yup that exactly...you know, since scripture says "judge not lest ye be judged; for by the SAME measure you judge you will be judged."

This young man, who no one knows, was judged on unfounded assumptions; judged that his request got help wasn't a serious one, and the made a joke of. No basis? EXACTLY.



Nope I told 'some' of you your motives; the guilty ones. The spirit then convicts whoever it needs to.



its not my advice but Christ's command and I do follow it evareydae. That's why I'm not guilty in this...



...There's that 'everyone' again. What you say would be true if I was talking to everyone. But...



See...all it takes is a moment to read past his words and to listen to the spirit to see to the heart of the matter. And yet SOME people choose to make it a joke.

...And the foots in the mouth...

(I think I missed one of you..but I'm sure you'll get the point too.)

Because you personally know all of us and the fruit we bear in our lives.

This is the INTERNET... you have been here five days and already are being judgmental.

You'll need to head on over to the bible discussion forums. You'll fit right in over there

Welcome.

 

[rachelsedge]

Hmmm...

I wonder if the roles were reversed (like I've read from a few threads in my short time here) and a woman said, "I'm looking for a handsome, sweet, and sensitive christian man to meet. I'm very faithful to god, and love him with my whole heart..." I wonder how different the responses would've been.

Actually, they'd be about the same type of responses. There have been plenty in the past.

I think the responses were less about his heart (because it does seem that his heart is in the right place) and more about "Where can I find one?" People often confuse the Singles forum as a dating forum, and that is not what it's about. Besides, you said it yourself: None of us know him. So, how can we give him advice on where to find a girl, then? I don't know where he lives, what kind of churches/organizations/clubs/activities are out there by him. It's not up to me to tell him where to find a girl. That's up to him, and God. We can give him advice on how to seek God, how to prepare his heart, but we can't tell him where to go.

What is the general feeling about christian mingle??

It's hit and miss. I've heard of (and know of at least one on this site) who have had great success with it. I joined it a few months ago, and ended up....not having great success. You could always give it a shot, just be very careful.

 

[jimmydiggs]

What is the general feeling about christian mingle??

It's ridiculously dumb.

 

[jimmydiggs]

It's ridiculously dumb.

The plethora of adds are annoying as well, and use some of the cheesiest songs and catch-phrases I've ever heard.

I feel embarassed being in a room with non-Christians when a tv ad from the Mingle comes on. I feel like I have to give a disclaimer.

 

[Yahshua]

Because you personally know all of us and the fruit we bear in our lives.

This is the INTERNET... you have been here five days and already are being judgmental.

You'll need to head on over to the bible discussion forums. You'll fit right in over there

Welcome.

here's the thing...this IS the internet; an online forum. I'm new so you can't know me because I haven't said much, but I can definitely get to know you - very fast - because your words don't disappear.

You can't know this young man for the same reason.

"Words are spirit."

 

[rachelsedge]

The plethora of adds are annoying as well, and use some of the cheesiest songs and catch-phrases I've ever heard.

I feel embarassed being in a room with non-Christians when a tv ad from the Mingle comes on. I feel like I have to give a disclaimer.

I hate the commercials. I definitely did not join because of that. I joined because my grandma gave me a clip out ad from a magazine.

Actually, now I'm not sure which is worse.

 

[Yahshua]

Actually, they'd be about the same type of responses. There have been plenty in the past.

I think the responses were less about his heart (because it does seem that his heart is in the right place) and more about "Where can I find one?" People often confuse the Singles forum as a dating forum, and that is not what it's about. Besides, you said it yourself: None of us know him. So, how can we give him advice on where to find a girl, then? I don't know where he lives, what kind of churches/organizations/clubs/activities are out there by him. It's not up to me to tell him where to find a girl. That's up to him, and God. We can give him advice on how to seek God, how to prepare his heart, but we can't tell him where to go.

I appreciate your reply...

The thing is, he didn't start a thread saying "hey now! Where are the girls (my exaggeration)?" He came here asking a question fit for the singles forum: "where do I find...?"

He's asking for help fit for this room, and if you don't know how to answer his question one shouldn't answer. Or at best (as you say you don't know his situation, location, etc.) You start a conversation asking him about those details. Like I see you already doing now...

Indeed, its not up to you to tell him where to find a girl. Its not up to any of us. So we either ignore the thread or give suggestion, lead by scripture and the spirit.

 

[jrccomputer]

I go to "The Crossings". I don't go anywhere but church and school at the moment. I'm either at those places or spending time with family.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Christian Mingle isn't the best place to find a godly companion, unfortunately. A lot of people join there in order to find a "good girl" or a "guy who will treat me right" when they actually have no concept of Christianity, and no interest in Jesus Christ.

I'm sure there are Christians there though. You can find them by reading their profiles and looking for specific references to their spiritual life, involvement in church, etc. Be sure to ask them about their faith and see what they have to say.

 

[ServantStrike]

Sorry for being so direct. I'm a hurting person with a lot of sad stuff in my past. I have a close relationship with God. But I'm looking for a human/woman as someone who is human to talk to and share my emotions with. I'm a sensitive person.

Coming from someone who has had crap to deal with in the past (and even into the present with health issues and the scramble to find employment), you need to get that dealt with on your own before you can really be in a relationship.

If you don't get your own house in order, you'll either start thinking that the person you're dating must be doing it out of pity for you, or you'll lean too heavily on them to look for reassurance when you should be looking to God for that.

You'll know when you're ready. And you've got plenty of time.