Who All Would Like to See a Matchmaking Thread Here in Singles?

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Would You Like to a Matchmaking Thread in the Singles Forum?

  • Sure -- I love living dangerously! I would qualify and would like to participate.

    Votes: 17 53.1%
  • Sure -- I don't qualify/do not want to be matched but want to see everyone else's craziness.

    Votes: 4 12.5%
  • Maybe -- It would depend on... (please state your concerns in a post.)

    Votes: 4 12.5%
  • Maybe -- I have an idea for a different approach (please tell us your ideas in the thread.)

    Votes: 2 6.3%
  • Absolutely Not -- Matchmaking is of the devil. Besides, my Aunt Bertha already tried!

    Votes: 3 9.4%
  • I'm Not Touching This With a 10-Foot Pole -- I don't qualify and wouldn't read such a thread!

    Votes: 2 6.3%
  • Open for Discussion -- I could go either way, and here's why... (talk to us.) :)

    Votes: 5 15.6%

  • Total voters
    32

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,026
3,264
113
I couldn’t have said it any better (and I mean literally cause my english grammar ain’t on your level) but this is exactly why I don’t careth for people’s opinions who constantly want to ..... you know what? I’m wasting my energy and time typing this.

Back to matchmaking couples for the LOLs.

@seoulsearch you keep doing you - if it weren’t for your threads along with others, this forum would be dead.

Many thanks to Mel and those others who understand what I'm trying to say. (Tourist, thanks to you, JL, and our other married friends here for your unwavering encouragement and willingness to play right along with us.)

I do appreciate those who want to keep us focused on the Lord, as long as it doesn't cross over into, "Oh, you poor little 5-year-old children, here, let me supervise you all because I am your AUTHOR-I-TAY!" territory.

When I was younger, I used to let people try to tell me how I needed to act and what I needed to be, but the older I get, the less meek and docile I become. :cool:

What most outsiders don't seem to realize is that we singles have complex, heart-wrenching lives of our own, and just because we talk about our singleness, it doesn't mean we're not focused on God. My biggest hobby is probably personal correspondence, so it's not unusual for me to write to someone who is struggling with the meaning of life (sometimes contemplating suicide) while trying to give them a Godly perspective (while questioning my own depression and suicidal tendencies), then come here to CC and try to untangle my emotions (while asking God for help) as I'm typing away here.

So whenever it gets implied that we singles just aren't focusing on God enough or are doing something wrong by trying to have fun, it AUTOMATICALLY sets off my emotional knee-jerk reaction.

My first response to the idea that singles somehow shouldn't be trying to make matches for other singles was to immediately want to start writing a thread entitled, "Singles Can NEVER Be Trusted To (please fill in the blank) On Their Own!!!"

Of course, my answer to that would have been, "Singles Can NEVER Be Trusted To -- Suggest Potential Dates for Other Singles -- That's Just Heresy," because, oh, the horror and irresponsibility!!! :rolleyes:

But since you've been kind enough to let me get it out of my system, I shall refrain.

For now, at least. ;)
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
432
413
63
I appreciate your feedback, Oldethennew, and I do understand the concerns of those who have expressed the problems of an "official matchmaking thread." This is why I didn't go through with my original plan of a series of 3 threads leading up to one that was "officially" for matchmaking.

I'm not picking on you or your post at all, but this is something I find ironic within the Christian community.

Plenty of us singles have had people try to play matchmaker for us -- our parents, our co-workers, our neighbors, that group of little old ladies at church, and yes, even Aunt Bertha (from the poll) -- and that's considered fine and dandy. In fact, raise your hand out there if you have had people who have gotten down-right offended when you were either not interested in their matchmaking at all or did meet the person they wanted you to meet but didn't feel ANY connection -- and then were made to feel guilty about it.

BUT the minute SINGLES actually talk about suggesting matches FOR EACH OTHER AMONG THEMSELVES, GASP!!! "MAKE SURE YOUR HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE!!!" Because SURELY we aren't capable of doing this in a mature, adult fashion on our own!!!

Please excuse me while I roll my eyes all the way around about 50 times in my head.

We singles, and the singles forum, are always seen as being "frivolous" and "non-spiritual." Even more ironic is when those who are married want to dictate our behavior, when at the same time, Family Forum is always filled with married people who are listing any and every reason to leave their spouse (I'm not saying at all that their reason aren't legitimate in some cases, I'm just saying, am I the only one who sees the irony in some married people constantly telling singles to guard their hearts and to keep their eyes on the Lord???!!)

Is this why some married people come here -- to try to make sure all of us "rowdy" singles are being "kept in line"? (I am not speaking at all to the marrieds who share their wisdom and encouragement here -- we appreciate you very much -- and when we are seen as "not having our hearts in the right place," we appreciate you even more.)

One of the reasons I wrote this thread is because I was going through a long time of very deep soul/spirit/"Where are you, Lord?" searching. It seems like every time I turn around, someone is asking me if I could please pray for them because of a family tragedy, crushing financial blows, and, most commonly (in my life at least,) cancer.

I have spent the last 6 months very deeply seeking God for some kind of spiritual storehouse with which to be able to try to turn around and comfort other people.

For myself, a thread like this was a much-needed break for myself and hopefully others, and meant to be all in fun, and not some kind of serious marriage-making event. I understand thoughtthat this just might be my own sense of humor.

However, just because singles crack jokes and want to have a good laugh now and then, please don't pre-judge them as being shallow and spiritual-less.

(Oldethennew, I'm not saying you are necessarily doing this. I'm just saying... It's just so completely ironic to me that singles are always accused of being lesser in every way, including our faith.)

We love it when married friends hang out in Singles to tell us what married life is really like, because we need to hear what married people really face, and I do understand "gentle" "reminders" to "keep our focus on the Lord."

But when they want to imply that we're somehow not as spiritual as they might assume they are?

Not so much.

For the marrieds who want to keep us singles in line, I would issue an equal challenge.

When you walk into the bedroom with your spouse tonight, may your heart be as 110% focused on the Lord as you want ours to be.
Boom.

I’ve only been a Christian for 7 years, but my relationship status has been the topic of most interest to other believers around me. I grow weary of the undue interest in this area of my life by Christians. But it is not only the inordinate interest, but the kind of interest. It is often the kind of interest with ulterior motives under the guise of giving one wisdom.

It’s not often lighthearted and fun when people inquire. It’s usually placing unrealistic pressure on me or making sure I am doing the “right” thing in this area of my life. And it is commonly unsolicited advice.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,658
113
I’d rather be dating the chaperone at the prom😂😁🤦‍♀️.
I did that once! I was contacted by someone I'd met years before at a Christian youth camp. He lived in the Washington and said he had to help chaperone a prom. He asked if I'd go as his date. We had had so much fun talking and catching up that I said yes. It was a blast. It was certainly the most creative date I've been on. I never thought I'd go to a prom at 21 years old but I would recommend chaperoning one. :)
 
S

Susanna

Guest
Boom.

I’ve only been a Christian for 7 years, but my relationship status has been the topic of most interest to other believers around me. I grow weary of the undue interest in this area of my life by Christians. But it is not only the inordinate interest, but the kind of interest. It is often the kind of interest with ulterior motives under the guise of giving one wisdom.

It’s not often lighthearted and fun when people inquire. It’s usually placing unrealistic pressure on me or making sure I am doing the “right” thing in this area of my life. And it is commonly unsolicited advice.
People want to feel good about themselves for reaching out to a poor, single person who knows not how to get about to find someone. Singles are like married people, only a little dumber and a little low on discernment skills is some married people’s mantra.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,026
3,264
113
I suppose I need to add a disclaimer here because the newer CC crowd is probably thinking, "Just who IS this cocky little girl, anyway??!" Lol.

If I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you yet, Hi, I'm Seoul, and one of the reasons I'm writing these threads is because I hope I can meet you in the forums. :)

When I was in my 20's, I had a husband, but he left to pursue a girlfriend he had met where we worked, and so one of my biggest testimonies is that God helped me learn how to completely start my life over. By the age of 26 (my husband had our divorce finalized sometime around the end of when I was 25), all the good Christian folks either told me I could never marry again because I was now divorced, or else told me I had plenty of time and would be remarried in a few years.

I had a few long-term relationships that were even worse, so before I was roughly 30, I was single even from dating relationships, and have been that way ever since. I've had a few crushes over the years, but generally found myself to be just one of many in a lineup that the other person was actively pursuing all at once.

Unless God changes my situation, I have decided I'm better off single, and I'm in the 40-ish age range now -- meaning, the next milestone age for me will be 50 (though I have a little ways to go.) :) I'm not as meager and willing to just sit back and take assumptions as I was when I was in my 20's.

The avatar picture was taken this past fall (2019), and when people sometimes comment that I look young, I tell them it's because I'm a lifelong nerd who has been nothing but boring my entire life. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't party. My whole life was wrapped up in school, work, a few creative hobbies, and writing letters.

When I first started here in CC Singles, I was in my 30's and we had a younger crowd (20's and 30's.) The CC crowd now seems to be a little older (30's, 40's, and 50's), so this is one of the reasons why I become so adamant and fiercely protective of other single's independence and integrity when it is questioned in the forums. I'm not saying any of us is perfect. I'm just saying, "Don't assume things about us until you know us and/or have walked the long, lonely winding road that we've walked."

It's NOT because I somehow think I'm better than anyone else or have been through more than anyone else (to be honest, I often feel as if I've been sheltered and am less worthy when compared to what so many here have been through), but what I DO have to offer is several years (decades!) of experience living the single life, and I hope that if nothing else, I can try to put that black, swirling vortex of pain, tears, and crying out to God into helping to improve the lives of others who are single, whether lifelong, divorced, or widowed.

I will always have more the learn and more than enough room to grow, but I have also come to a point where I won't hesitate to confront and challenged the attitudes that singles are somehow misguided toddlers who need to be led by the hand of married couples. After all, 50% of married people will be single someday themselves, so please remember keep that in mind when you speak to us. You could be speaking to yourself in X amount of years.

For those who are here looking for comfort and fellowship, we are very glad you're here, and I hope you'll find something here in the forum that will help you.

God bless you, and we are all in this together!

See you in the threads. :)
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,658
113
I appreciate your feedback, Oldethennew, and I do understand the concerns of those who have expressed the problems of an "official matchmaking thread." This is why I didn't go through with my original plan of a series of 3 threads leading up to one that was "officially" for matchmaking.

I'm not picking on you or your post at all, but this is something I find ironic within the Christian community.

Plenty of us singles have had people try to play matchmaker for us -- our parents, our co-workers, our neighbors, that group of little old ladies at church, and yes, even Aunt Bertha (from the poll) -- and that's considered fine and dandy. In fact, raise your hand out there if you have had people who have gotten down-right offended when you were either not interested in their matchmaking at all or did meet the person they wanted you to meet but didn't feel ANY connection -- and then were made to feel guilty about it.

BUT the minute SINGLES actually talk about suggesting matches FOR EACH OTHER AMONG THEMSELVES, GASP!!! "MAKE SURE YOUR HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE!!!" Because SURELY we aren't capable of doing this in a mature, adult fashion on our own!!!

Please excuse me while I roll my eyes all the way around about 50 times in my head.

We singles, and the singles forum, are always seen as being "frivolous" and "non-spiritual." Even more ironic is when those who are married want to dictate our behavior, when at the same time, Family Forum is always filled with married people who are listing any and every reason to leave their spouse (I'm not saying at all that their reason aren't legitimate in some cases, I'm just saying, am I the only one who sees the irony in some married people constantly telling singles to guard their hearts and to keep their eyes on the Lord???!!)

Is this why some married people come here -- to try to make sure all of us "rowdy" singles are being "kept in line"? (I am not speaking at all to the marrieds who share their wisdom and encouragement here -- we appreciate you very much -- and when we are seen as "not having our hearts in the right place," we appreciate you even more.)

One of the reasons I wrote this thread is because I was going through a long time of very deep soul/spirit/"Where are you, Lord?" searching. It seems like every time I turn around, someone is asking me if I could please pray for them because of a family tragedy, crushing financial blows, and, most commonly (in my life at least,) cancer.

I have spent the last 6 months very deeply seeking God for some kind of spiritual storehouse with which to be able to try to turn around and comfort other people.

For myself, a thread like this was a much-needed break for myself and hopefully others, and meant to be all in fun, and not some kind of serious marriage-making event. I understand thoughtthat this just might be my own sense of humor.

However, just because singles crack jokes and want to have a good laugh now and then, please don't pre-judge them as being shallow and spiritual-less.

(Oldethennew, I'm not saying you are necessarily doing this. I'm just saying... It's just so completely ironic to me that singles are always accused of being lesser in every way, including our faith.)

We love it when married friends hang out in Singles to tell us what married life is really like, because we need to hear what married people really face, and I do understand "gentle" "reminders" to "keep our focus on the Lord."

But when they want to imply that we're somehow not as spiritual as they might assume they are?

Not so much.

For the marrieds who want to keep us singles in line, I would issue an equal challenge.

When you walk into the bedroom with your spouse tonight, may your heart be as 110% focused on the Lord as you want ours to be.
Yes, yes, yes, this! Being single is not a spiritual flaw. Chatting with people of the opposite sex is not tainted. Mentioning the possibility of meeting is lovely. This whole thinking reminds me of the meme "Remember dear. Anything that might relate to sex is dirty, evil and depraved and single people, especially women, who talk about it or think about it are dirty, evil and depraved. It is not even to be thought about or you are dirty, evil and depraved. Sex is forbidden until you get married and then you share it with the one you love." Sigh. Now even joking about people who might be suited for one another is,... well you get the list. There is nothing ungodly about singles chatting with each other. This is a really cute thread. I didn't read anywhere that if you agree to join in the fun that you have signed some sort of contract.
It is once again time to remember that we are all different parts of the body and bring glory to God by living the lives he has given us. Biblically single people rank pretty high up there according to Paul, so lets play nicely.
Seoulsearch girl I adore you. Thank you for all you bring to this site. You are an encourager, a defender, a truth seeker and a great gal. Do not let anyone rain on your parade.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,658
113
Boom.

I’ve only been a Christian for 7 years, but my relationship status has been the topic of most interest to other believers around me. I grow weary of the undue interest in this area of my life by Christians. But it is not only the inordinate interest, but the kind of interest. It is often the kind of interest with ulterior motives under the guise of giving one wisdom.

It’s not often lighthearted and fun when people inquire. It’s usually placing unrealistic pressure on me or making sure I am doing the “right” thing in this area of my life. And it is commonly unsolicited advice.
Love you MegMarch. You are just fabulous.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
981
113
46
I suppose I need to add a disclaimer here because the newer CC crowd is probably thinking, "Just who IS this cocky little girl, anyway??!" Lol.

If I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you yet, Hi, I'm Seoul, and one of the reasons I'm writing these threads is because I hope I can meet you in the forums. :)

When I was in my 20's, I had a husband, but he left to pursue a girlfriend he had met where we worked, and so one of my biggest testimonies is that God helped me learn how to completely start my life over. By the age of 26 (my husband had our divorce finalized sometime around the end of when I was 25), all the good Christian folks either told me I could never marry again because I was now divorced, or else told me I had plenty of time and would be remarried in a few years.

I had a few long-term relationships that were even worse, so before I was roughly 30, I was single even from dating relationships, and have been that way ever since. I've had a few crushes over the years, but generally found myself to be just one of many in a lineup that the other person was actively pursuing all at once.

Unless God changes my situation, I have decided I'm better off single, and I'm in the 40-ish age range now -- meaning, the next milestone age for me will be 50 (though I have a little ways to go.) :) I'm not as meager and willing to just sit back and take assumptions as I was when I was in my 20's.

The avatar picture was taken this past fall (2019), and when people sometimes comment that I look young, I tell them it's because I'm a lifelong nerd who has been nothing but boring my entire life. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't party. My whole life was wrapped up in school, work, a few creative hobbies, and writing letters.

When I first started here in CC Singles, I was in my 30's and we had a younger crowd (20's and 30's.) The CC crowd now seems to be a little older (30's, 40's, and 50's), so this is one of the reasons why I become so adamant and fiercely protective of other single's independence and integrity when it is questioned in the forums. I'm not saying any of us is perfect. I'm just saying, "Don't assume things about us until you know us and/or have walked the long, lonely winding road that we've walked."

It's NOT because I somehow think I'm better than anyone else or have been through more than anyone else (to be honest, I often feel as if I've been sheltered and am less worthy when compared to what so many here have been through), but what I DO have to offer is several years (decades!) of experience living the single life, and I hope that if nothing else, I can try to put that black, swirling vortex of pain, tears, and crying out to God into helping to improve the lives of others who are single, whether lifelong, divorced, or widowed.

I will always have more the learn and more than enough room to grow, but I have also come to a point where I won't hesitate to confront and challenged the attitudes that singles are somehow misguided toddlers who need to be led by the hand of married couples. After all, 50% of married people will be single someday themselves, so please remember keep that in mind when you speak to us. You could be speaking to yourself in X amount of years.

For those who are here looking for comfort and fellowship, we are very glad you're here, and I hope you'll find something here in the forum that will help you.

God bless you, and we are all in this together!

See you in the threads. :)

I gave you seven hearts, had to undo six of em to get it done.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
I'm pretty sure that between Meg and Susanna, World Domination is inevitable. :cool:

I will happily volunteer to be one of their loyal minions.

Aww, I’m quite modest, so I’ll gladly settle with the northern hemisphere...for starters😁😂.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,658
113
I'm pretty sure that between Meg and Susanna, World Domination is inevitable. :cool:

I will happily volunteer to be one of their loyal minions.
Oh! I'll do the cooking and when they have had a hard day they can come over, have a bite, put up their feet and vent. I'll listen and say, "Nasty peasants" and nod. Maybe crepes for dessert?
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
432
413
63
I'm pretty sure that between Meg and Susanna, World Domination is inevitable. :cool:

I will happily volunteer to be one of their loyal minions.
I’m really just Susanna’s pawn. And Seoul-you are the mastermind behind it all. 😂
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
981
113
46
Oh! I'll do the cooking and when they have had a hard day they can come over, have a bite, put up their feet and vent. I'll listen and say, "Nasty peasants" and nod. Maybe crepes for dessert?

Can I just sit around and look pretty?