Why am I having so much of a problem getting a good Christian girlfriend?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
R

Rissa77

Guest
#281
#281
Jordan9 said:
Stop looking, mate!!!

Finding a decent girl is like waiting for water to boil... It's never going to happen if you stand there waiting. :)
Click to expand...
Very profound and very true.

As for confidence, money, and good looks? Hm.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

I'm not saying THOSE things will be added unto you, but those things that are desirable to your spouse will be. Yea you gotta work at becoming the man of God you need to be, but not with her as the focus or drive. You do it for God and leave thoughts of wifey on the backburner. Or better yet, off the stove. God will put her back on when it's time.

When God moves me to consider marriage, I will be concerned for a MAN OF GOD. Good looks mean nothing. God will supply finances if there is lack. And confidence shouldn't be a wordly one, but one in Christ.
 
DinoDillinger

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
#282
Jul 28, 2009
839
19
18
#282
One of the most important things to have as a man in finding a woman is the hardest thing to fake.

CONFIDENCE

I know its hard to be confident when you face rejection but hey, it's their lose.

I would suggest finding a good male role model in the church.

This is also important in your walk with Christ, which ofcourse should be your main focus.

You should also consider what women you are asking out or would ask out. If the only girls your interested in are the hottest girl in the room you are way off point. You should be looking for someone you can connect with and not a trophy. If the girl you wanna talk to makes your tongue swell up to where you babble senselessly around her you need to take it down a notch, find a girl who is kind, honest, and real. Someone your comfortable around and ask her out.
 
S

star_gazer

Guest
#283
#283
Cobblepot said:
Confidence, money, and good looks. Is this supposed to be some kind of guarded secret?
Click to expand...

No, it is not about good looks or "just confidence." It is about having confidence in what you are good at. It is about liking yoruself and building respect within the male community. Because Yeah, women notice whether a man gets along with other men. Looks are 100% in the eyes of the beholder. I have seen guys I think are heinous but another woman thinks they are gorgeous.

Seriously, it is not about having standard good looks. It is about using the gifts and talents that you are given and granted by God and MULTIPLYING them: Being a good stewared of the body and personality and intellect you were given.

I have seen mentally challenged people find true love, severely obese people, crippled people, disfigured people. It is about taking the time you need to build the best YOU. God is not going to put someone in your path until you do that unless He feels they will get you going in the right direction...

I am a firm believer in asking God to make me into the sort of woman who will marry the perfect guy for me. Dating is a waste of my time until I learn to be independently what God needs to utilize. When I get there, He will bless me, I am certain of it. But I need some growth time. I think this guy falls into the same baot. He is whining and needs to buck up.

You are trivializeing what I am saying (which I do nto appreciate) and really attributing a meaning that is not what I intended.

COLLECTIVE: I think you are right on target for this young man with your advice!
 
Last edited:
B

Bunnyxkitty

Guest
#284
#284
Well you seem like a nice/cute guy to me =o i like geeky boys xD i are geek too =3
but..Well
 
L

Leilaii425

Guest
#285
#285
The key is to act like you know what your doin. Just walk up to some chick actin like you got it goin on and see what happen.
 
V

veronical

Guest
#286
#286
ha..I'm 20 too..and never dated a guy too. Well, just that I don't see much qualities in guys around me. Well, maybe I'm the eldest one so I tend to be more responsible (hahaha) and found out that guys around me are so sissy. So, it's like (I'll be better than them if I'm a boy). Anyway, thx god for everything. Hope will find someone that can walk with me together in god's plan.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#287
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#287
So yeah, I'm finally gettting on new meds that should be helping me More with my anxiety and it'll also be helping me with my depression, and my social skills. So Will this help me get a girlfriend once this stuff take effect?
 
L

Leilaii425

Guest
#288
#288
dothackzero said:
So yeah, I'm finally gettting on new meds that should be helping me More with my anxiety and it'll also be helping me with my depression, and my social skills. So Will this help me get a girlfriend once this stuff take effect?
Click to expand...

If i was you, i would pray the medicine knocked me unconscience
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#289
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#289
So do you guys think I'll get married before the rapture happens or am I just screwed?
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#290
May 5, 2009
2,569
21
38
#290
Depends. Do you believe in a pre-tribulation wedding or a post-tribulation wedding?
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#291
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#291
So do you guys think I'll get married before the rapture happens or am I just screwed?
Click to expand...
Sure, you live in the second or third biggest country in the world, plenty of eligable single ladies I bet.
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#293
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#293
Hey, its difficult I know man. I am in a similar position as you, and 2 years older than you. And look I am still alive. Only GF I ever had wasted my time for 2 years and didn't really care about me. Good girls are hard to find in modern society. There is nothing wrong with you man.

But I want to make one suggestion and hope you don't find it offensive. The way you list personal information about yourself and not just any personal information but things like,

Here is a list of all that is wrong with me:

Num 1

Num 2

Num 3

Now please tell me why girls don't like me.



First of all its dangerous to post such info online. Second of all, it makes it sounds like you got no self confidence.

Something I learned over the past few years is, you have to actually think like, "There is nothing wrong with me, and if anyone doesn't like it, I don't care"

You might have problems but you don't tell people about them, except maybe your best friends and parents and counselors of some sort. You work on them in private, but act like there is nothing wrong with you on the outside.

And you know what, that is what girls/women actually want to hear. You need self confidence. That is step number 1.

The worst mistake you can make is to mentally seek for approval from any girl, or any person at all really. You need to have self respect and know your own value.

Only seek approval from God, try to perfect yourself according to his standards but nobody else's. Not society, not other people (maybe your parents).

Once you have self confidence and self respect, all else will come in time. But unless you have those two qualities you will have a very hard time, and if you do get married it will be to someone who bosses you around your whole life. At best.

It took me a while to learn all this and to understand it. So remember self respect, and self confidence. If you have those all else will be provided by God.
 
H

Hethr

Guest
#295
#295
You'd sound good to me except you're in the wrong decade :) Or maybe I'm in the wrong decade. Personally, your traits are appealing, but your interests and mine wouldn't match. I'm sure there are women out there that will share your interests and appreciate your traits. Do you go to school? Can you join some kind of hobby group?
I'm in the same boat. My church is full of marrieds and I don't really have much of a chance to meet people. I've gone through this for much longer than you and I hope you don't have to wait as long as I have. You are very young, don't worry, just have faith and be the best person you can be.
 
L

Leilaii425

Guest
#296
#296
i find your to concerned with getting a girlfriend and wife. You should be thankful you dont have either one.
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#297
#297
I think I know why,
You do sound lovely. But you stated you have a low self esteem. Theres your clue there. If you do not work on self love then any relationship you have will never be fulfilling, even if the girl happens to be mary magdalene herself. Be proud of the achievements God has given you so far and the ones he is planning to give you instead of things that look like their out of your control right now. Once you starting living and loving life - girls will run to you - trust me
 
H

HisChild13

Guest
#298
#298
goth4god said:
lol personally i like geeks, and I'm kinda just getting into anime, so i dont minds that stuff! lol
and as for the pervertedness, most of the guys i talk to have some sort of pervertedness. so at least he is being honest about it.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but some Christian girls don't want to be around perverted guys because you never know when they will finally submit to a thought that the devil is finally able to sneak into their head.

No offense, but it's true.
 
H

HisChild13

Guest
#299
#299
Most people I talk to (that are boys) are always looking for a girlfriend. Their problem? They want a girlfriend to say they have a girlfriend. They don't want her so that they can eventually marry her. They just want to brag to their friends and be like "my girlfriend is hotter than yours" or whatever.

You might want to examine yourself and ask "Why do I want a girlfriend?" If the answer is to find a wife for life then don't worry. Pray honestly. Don't beg. Just ask. If the answer, however, is "because I want a girlfriend. Wife? not so much" then forget about it. Girls try to figure the guy out for who he really is before they even show any interest.
 
P

paulou

Guest
#300
#300
there is a perfect person for everyone somewhere in the world mate, but finding that special woman for you will take work, i find that compatability match profiles are great because you only get matched with people who have personalities like you, who want the same future outlooks,and similar things in life that you do . you have a personality similar to mine, iknow it is hard, and not very common to find a woman like this, but good and decent christian woman are out there. at church would be a great place to meet, someone like yourself. i found a few that had personalities like mine in compatability match profiles like non drinkers and non smokers and christians.i have a issue with posessions so i stay alone, if i break up i will loose all i own.any way good luck mate in finding that special person for a lifetime of love and happiness.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.