Because most men have the grave misfortune of meeting me after I've had my daily dose of caffeine, chocolate, etc., or am simply acting "normally" for me, which of course looks like this ---->
After that point, word spreads rapidly that I'm on the premises, and when I walk into the room people are already on edge.
A typical reaction:
"OH MY WORD... THE LEGENDS ARE TRUE! THAT HORRIBLE, MALEVOLENT SMILE... IT IS FOREVER MARKED UPON MY SOUL!"
Most of half the time, I'm like, "Mm hm! Das ri, boiz. YOU'D BETTA RUN!"
And the other semi-half I'm sort of, "Yeah, yeah. That's right. Run. Cowards."
Of course, if I'm around some of my perceptive friends, they're all like:
And then I'm like
.
But sometimes I just outright get frustrated.
Sometimes I can just sorta... cope. "Can't fix crazy. Guess I should... embrace it or something."
I've learned I can't change me for him. He's just gonna have to be a really brave soul or something.