Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?
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Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?
this is perfect! I really needed to read this !
I had friends and family members turn away from me in the past because I was hurting and hindering them with my constant drinking. Although I kept apologizing to everyone and promising I wouldn't do it again, I did not stop drinking and became belligerent and careless. I don't blame them for turning away from me. I was continually messing up people's lives.
As I said previously, nobody could change me. A few members of my family told me they were praying for me and kept reminding me that I was not an alcoholic in the eyes of God and that they didn't condemn me. But they couldn't be around me when I was drinking because I was ugly and destructive when I was drunk.
In the same way, we can't change an addict, whether it be a sex addict, a drug addict or an alcoholic. I would not advise a spouse to allow that destructive force in their home, especially when there are children involved. I believe the best avenue is to set that person free to God and allow them to come to the end of themselves. Only Christ is able to make them new.
The Word tells us, "If the unbelieving depart, let them depart. The believing one is no longer in bondage in that situation for Christ has called us to peace." [Depart in this sense is the same as "departing from the faith" or being unfaithful to your vow] God will never abandon someone struggling with addiction, but we must surrender them to God so that He can change them. As long as we keep reminding them that they are an addict and need help, even if we think we're encouraging them, we're condemning them and are interfering with God's work in their life.
Then we read, "If the unbelieving spouse be pleased to dwell with you, let them stay." Pleased to dwell with you means they are faithful to their marriage vows, they are content with their spouse. Adultery is not being pleased with your spouse. It's being satisfied outside the marriage.
If a husband or wife is struggling with a sex addiction, set them free to God. Believe and pray for them, but don't keep reminding them they need to change. They already know it, their heart already condemns them, the Bible says. So long as the straying spouse knows they're under the scrutiny of their husband or wife to change, so long as their spouse reminds them that there's "an issue", they will feel condemned and unworthy. Which will cause them to fail again and again.
On the other hand, if you give them over to God to intervene and deliver them, you're not in the way. Most people won't let their spouse go for fear of losing them and being alone. They feel like a failure because they can't make their partner love them enough to change. They would rather hold onto their partner and try to change them instead of trusting God. It's heartbreaking when a spouse rejects you for someone else. But if we truly love them, we must let God save this person's life.
In 1 Corinthians 5 we read about the son in the church who was sleeping with his step-mother. The congregation was told to turn him away and hand him over to his own devices so that God would save his soul. That's what happened to me when I was drinking. Everyone turned away and set me free to come to the end of myself. Praise God for that! \
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As I said previously, nobody could change me. A few members of my family told me they were praying for me and kept reminding me that I was not an alcoholic in the eyes of God and that they didn't condemn me. But they couldn't be around me when I was drinking because I was ugly and destructive when I was drunk.
In the same way, we can't change an addict, whether it be a sex addict, a drug addict or an alcoholic. I would not advise a spouse to allow that destructive force in their home, especially when there are children involved. I believe the best avenue is to set that person free to God and allow them to come to the end of themselves. Only Christ is able to make them new.
The Word tells us, "If the unbelieving depart, let them depart. The believing one is no longer in bondage in that situation for Christ has called us to peace." [Depart in this sense is the same as "departing from the faith" or being unfaithful to your vow] God will never abandon someone struggling with addiction, but we must surrender them to God so that He can change them. As long as we keep reminding them that they are an addict and need help, even if we think we're encouraging them, we're condemning them and are interfering with God's work in their life.
Then we read, "If the unbelieving spouse be pleased to dwell with you, let them stay." Pleased to dwell with you means they are faithful to their marriage vows, they are content with their spouse. Adultery is not being pleased with your spouse. It's being satisfied outside the marriage.
If a husband or wife is struggling with a sex addiction, set them free to God. Believe and pray for them, but don't keep reminding them they need to change. They already know it, their heart already condemns them, the Bible says. So long as the straying spouse knows they're under the scrutiny of their husband or wife to change, so long as their spouse reminds them that there's "an issue", they will feel condemned and unworthy. Which will cause them to fail again and again.
On the other hand, if you give them over to God to intervene and deliver them, you're not in the way. Most people won't let their spouse go for fear of losing them and being alone. They feel like a failure because they can't make their partner love them enough to change. They would rather hold onto their partner and try to change them instead of trusting God. It's heartbreaking when a spouse rejects you for someone else. But if we truly love them, we must let God save this person's life.
In 1 Corinthians 5 we read about the son in the church who was sleeping with his step-mother. The congregation was told to turn him away and hand him over to his own devices so that God would save his soul. That's what happened to me when I was drinking. Everyone turned away and set me free to come to the end of myself. Praise God for that! \
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this is perfect! I really needed to read this !
Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?
I haven't read through all the replies but I think this is a great topic Kim.
I've actually have had to respond to both issues with friends in the past. One of my closest friends growing up told me he thought he was gay. I was shocked at first because it just never crossed my mind that he might be. I told him that he is who he is. I know it was difficult for him to tell his family, really difficult but they understood. I understood.
I know that some people know my issues with food. I was talking to my friend the other day about her child who has gained a lot of weight. She's concerned. This young woman hides food and does some other things that I'd be concerned about too. I told her I think her daughter has a food addiction and like any addiction we can't fight it alone but until she's ready to deal with it, there isn't a whole lot anyone can do. This person is over the age of 18 now she'll be on her own and her Mom's worried about her health. I do think eventually she will want to lose weight. I told her to check out Food Addiction in recovery on line. I am hoping that might help.
I haven't read through all the replies but I think this is a great topic Kim.
I've actually have had to respond to both issues with friends in the past. One of my closest friends growing up told me he thought he was gay. I was shocked at first because it just never crossed my mind that he might be. I told him that he is who he is. I know it was difficult for him to tell his family, really difficult but they understood. I understood.
I know that some people know my issues with food. I was talking to my friend the other day about her child who has gained a lot of weight. She's concerned. This young woman hides food and does some other things that I'd be concerned about too. I told her I think her daughter has a food addiction and like any addiction we can't fight it alone but until she's ready to deal with it, there isn't a whole lot anyone can do. This person is over the age of 18 now she'll be on her own and her Mom's worried about her health. I do think eventually she will want to lose weight. I told her to check out Food Addiction in recovery on line. I am hoping that might help.
Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?
Christians are uncomfortable with sex. Heterosexual or otherwise, the church just doesn't handle it well. So it's easier to handle or deal with "lesser" sins, and they're only lesser because the consequences lead to death in a different manner. The other thing is that some sinning habits are easier to change than others. When it comes to sexual sins, people aren't so willing to give those up. In studies with mice (whose brain chemistry is very similar to ours), when they've been hooked up to electrodes which will cause orgasms if they press a button. In that cage, one button gave them food, the other gave them the orgasm. They continued to press that button until they starved. Food wasn't as important as pleasure. People think they need sex before they need anything else. So it shouldn't be a surprise that we as a church don't handle homosexuality very well. We don't handle heterosexuality very well either, but that's a separate thread all together. When people get uncomfortable we bury our heads in the sand, or we gather pitch forks and condemn. It's very rare that anyone responds like Jesus when it comes to someone's sin.
Christians are uncomfortable with sex. Heterosexual or otherwise, the church just doesn't handle it well. So it's easier to handle or deal with "lesser" sins, and they're only lesser because the consequences lead to death in a different manner. The other thing is that some sinning habits are easier to change than others. When it comes to sexual sins, people aren't so willing to give those up. In studies with mice (whose brain chemistry is very similar to ours), when they've been hooked up to electrodes which will cause orgasms if they press a button. In that cage, one button gave them food, the other gave them the orgasm. They continued to press that button until they starved. Food wasn't as important as pleasure. People think they need sex before they need anything else. So it shouldn't be a surprise that we as a church don't handle homosexuality very well. We don't handle heterosexuality very well either, but that's a separate thread all together. When people get uncomfortable we bury our heads in the sand, or we gather pitch forks and condemn. It's very rare that anyone responds like Jesus when it comes to someone's sin.
Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?
I lost my pitchfork on my way to dabble in a few things myself. (Not that I'm a heretic, just... sometimes even though they tell you not to touch the electric fence, you just gotta touch it for yourself. Y'know?) But yeah, after a person has tasted a few things of the world, and suffered the predictable consequences, he usually just doesn't have the heart to poke other sinners so hard.
I lost my pitchfork on my way to dabble in a few things myself. (Not that I'm a heretic, just... sometimes even though they tell you not to touch the electric fence, you just gotta touch it for yourself. Y'know?) But yeah, after a person has tasted a few things of the world, and suffered the predictable consequences, he usually just doesn't have the heart to poke other sinners so hard.
Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?
By the way... excuse me, but I just have to post this cartoon. I know, there are some people overweight because of a medical issue, but this thread has been reminding me of this cartoon for so long now. I just have to post it.
By the way... excuse me, but I just have to post this cartoon. I know, there are some people overweight because of a medical issue, but this thread has been reminding me of this cartoon for so long now. I just have to post it.
