Why Does Society Seem to Think That Cougars... Should Be Shot? (Older Woman and Younger Men.)

[Lanolin]

cougars i don't judge. Paedophilia I do judge.

is there a difference as both are predators...?
hmm cougars are actually cats but cougars will go after a different species.

paedophiles go after children and dont matter if its same sex or different.

still predatory behaviour though. i,e dont think its mutual.

 

[Lanolin]

I was reading a comic last week
it was called Batman rebirth .
In the comic Batman actually marries Catwoman.
It didnt actually show the wedding but it did show after they married that Catwoman was still playing games and stealing from Batman, but he forgave her out of love.
shes a thief and probably did it to keep him on his toes.

Batman is a pretty dark character though, like Harry Potter, but bat. Actually maybe Harry Potter copied Batman, but with sorcery instead of bat costume. Who knows?

 

[Lanolin]

spolier...they have a child (girl) called the Huntress
catwoman dies in tragic caper gone wrong

Huntress has to avenge this and has mixed feelings. will she take after villanous catwoman or virtuous Batman?

 

[kinda]

They are ! So much personality

lol

 

[Lynx]

I was reading a comic last week
it was called Batman rebirth .
In the comic Batman actually marries Catwoman.
It didnt actually show the wedding but it did show after they married that Catwoman was still playing games and stealing from Batman, but he forgave her out of love.
shes a thief and probably did it to keep him on his toes.

Batman is a pretty dark character though, like Harry Potter, but bat. Actually maybe Harry Potter copied Batman, but with sorcery instead of bat costume. Who knows?

Talia would have a fit! And Damian would have never been born.

 

[Lanolin]

if a younger man goes after an older woman then it seems ok
but not if the older woman goes after the younger man.

I think when younger women go after older men some people might call it goldigging, but when older men go after younger women its seen as creepy cradle snatching.

so probably the same is true if you reverse genders (or even the same genders?! )

I think it comes down to, who is the aggressor. A lot of relationships there wont be a mutual thing. One seems to always be more dominant than the other, whether just bigger or older.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

I think a lot of it has to do with a long cultural history of men were expected to get a job that enabled them to support and raise a family and then sometime later settle down and have a family. So an older man who is successful and settles down with a young fertile woman still follows that basic pattern. But a young man who gets together with an older woman pretty much can't start a family, and may often be seen as not pursuing a worthwhile career either but instead just getting a woman to take care of him or be a substitute mom to extend his adolescence and lack of responsibility indefinitely.

Actually one of the reasons I would avoid much younger men (or at least seemingly younger) romantically is because I could see that relationship easily taking on a parent child dynamic and that's not what I'd want in a romantic partner that I hope would be my equal. Don't think it would be good for any of the parties concerned.

I agree with most of what you said. But I think most of it comes down to a mental connection. I think the type of relationship is looked down upon on because ciety seems to think the younger male will be naive and easily manipulated. But they don't criticize the men. Do its sexism. Pure and simple

 

[DeanM]

At my age there arnt many cougers around. There are vultures though. They still have the instict but can no longer make the kill.

 

[EmilyNats]

I'm way late to the party, seems like it's been an interesting one!

I will say I always thought that older women with a younger guy way reeeeaaaaaaallllyyyyy weird to me. But then again, my dad is 10 years older than my mom, so looking back I can definitely tell that having grown up seeing that really shaped how I subconsciously decided things aught to be. And with that mindset still intact as I got old enough to start opening up to the idea of finding a potential partner, I NEVER EVER considered someone younger than me. Like it was an instant "NO " every time. Even to the point where there was this guy I knew, and as I was talking to him, it occurred to me, "This guy would be perfect for me! Too bad he's younger." Like I didn't even consider that maybe, just maybe marrying a very slightly younger guy wasn't some sort of terrible sin.

It's weird how we grow up seeing things done a certain way, and then for the rest of our lives we think that's the only right way!

 

[Lanolin]

adam was only a few hours older than eve, if they were created the same day.
He couldnt handle being alone for a few hours?

now people claim that its not good for men to be alone as justification for partnering up. But they dont think of the context, adam was the ONLY human on earth then.

nowadays (men) people arent ever alone! the population of areas are into their billions. People live in cties, its increasingly urbanised. what planet are people living on?! we arent alone.

 

[yuli21]

adam was only a few hours older than eve, if they were created the same day.
He couldnt handle being alone for a few hours?

now people claim that its not good for men to be alone as justification for partnering up. But they dont think of the context, adam was the ONLY human on earth then.

nowadays (men) people arent ever alone! the population of areas are into their billions. People live in cties, its increasingly urbanised. what planet are people living on?! we arent alone.

\

yes the population density has grown exponentially and it seems we have so many choices.. but why do many still feel like they're alone, disconnected from reality. social media makes it look like there's so many happy couples lol. Many of these "arrangements" are simply transactional, unfortunately. We don't even have to leave our room to interact with people. I don't know about you, but I want to have that connection when your heart just knows that that's your human and they accept and care for who you really are. There's nothing wrong with choosing to remain single, for whatever reason. We just waste energy comparing ourselves to others anyway, complaining when we're lacking something, holding a grudge towards someone who did us wrong. The prospect of marriage doesn't scare me as much as choosing the wrong partner. "Life with God is not immunity to difficulties, but peace in them" something like that

 

[Treeboy]

At my age there arnt many cougers around. There are vultures though. They still have the instict but can no longer make the kill.

Yep just looking for a financial win that young men dont provide and men their own age wont give them.

 

[seoulsearch]

Yep just looking for a financial win that young men dont provide and men their own age wont give them.

Posts like this are the reason why I've come to develop the method of dating that I have.

I wasn't in a lot of relationships but I (the woman) was always the more stable financial provider in each one, as were my female friends in their relationships, so I'm always a bit surprised that so many men always say that women are only out for money. It makes me sad that apparently that's all they've ever run into and believe every woman is out for a man's wallet.

Because of this, I've made it my own personal policy that I always pay for the first date unless he absolutely insists. But I generally make it pretty easy because the minute we sit down at the restaurant, I just tell the waiter to put it all on one tab and hand it to me at the end. It doesn't matter to me if he was the one who asked me out. I'll only accept if I know I can prepare and pay for us both, but I don't tell him that.

I respond to his shocked look when I tell the waiter that I'll take care of the bill by saying, "I just want you to relax, get what ever you want, and not have to worry about anything."

After spending years on CC reading post after post like the one quoted here about how all women are only after financial gain, I set it in my mind that I was going to try to do even more to live out my lifelong goal of trying my best to be something different.

And it's because of reading so many posts that state similar sentiments as the one above that I don't ever want a man to walk away thinking I used him for a free dinner, therefore, not only do I pay for my own, but his as well.

 

[cinder]

Posts like this are the reason why I've come to develop the method of dating that I have.

I wasn't in a lot of relationships but I (the woman) was always the more stable financial provider in each one, as were my female friends in their relationships, so I'm always a bit surprised that so many men always say that women are only out for money. It makes me sad that apparently that's all they've ever run into and believe every woman is out for a man's wallet.

That's interesting. I wonder if women end up being the stable financial providers out of necessity but really don't want to be. So they look for men who are gainfully employed and financially stable (which, regardless of gender, I think is a pretty reasonable requirement for someone you're willing to consider spending the rest of your life with) and the men who can't / don't meet that requirement are the ones who complain that the women won't give them a chance because of the money thing.

Though there was at least one woman I was acquainted with who seemed to have this psychological thing going where the more money her significant other spent on her the more loved she felt / believed herself to be, so there are some women out there who are only in it for the money or use money as a scorecard for how valued they are. (I on the other hand am the type of woman who will likely glare at you and tell you you are stupid if you frivolously and unwisely spend large sums of money on me.)

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

I know that when I was with someone who would probably be called a cougar she said the level of listening and affection we had was different than on men her own age. Regardless of income she did prefer me for being more dominant rather than letting the age impact the dynamic of the relationship.
If you are lucky enough to find somebody who cares, it is very hard to just walk away comma especially if you have been used in the past

 

[Lynx]

After spending years on CC reading post after post like the one quoted here about how all women are only after financial gain, I set it in my mind that I was going to try to do even more to live out my lifelong goal of trying my best to be something different.

My feelings are split...

It's good that you do that. It's an intelligent, rational decision to upend the stereotype from the start. Good social hack there.

It really sucks that conditions make that a good idea. I would rather live in a world where it was a bad idea, or an idea that just never occurred to anybody because there was nothing to trigger it in the mind.

It reminds me of a Star Trek book where one of the characters was an Orion scientist. The stereotype for Orion women (you know, the green skinned slave girls) is "sex kitten" so she not only overdressed to downplay her body but she went so far as to wear eyeglasses she didn't even need.

 

[Treeboy]

Posts like this are the reason why I've come to develop the method of dating that I have.

I wasn't in a lot of relationships but I (the woman) was always the more stable financial provider in each one, as were my female friends in their relationships, so I'm always a bit surprised that so many men always say that women are only out for money. It makes me sad that apparently that's all they've ever run into and believe every woman is out for a man's wallet.

Because of this, I've made it my own personal policy that I always pay for the first date unless he absolutely insists. But I generally make it pretty easy because the minute we sit down at the restaurant, I just tell the waiter to put it all on one tab and hand it to me at the end. It doesn't matter to me if he was the one who asked me out. I'll only accept if I know I can prepare and pay for us both, but I don't tell him that.

I respond to his shocked look when I tell the waiter that I'll take care of the bill by saying, "I just want you to relax, get what ever you want, and not have to worry about anything."

After spending years on CC reading post after post like the one quoted here about how all women are only after financial gain, I set it in my mind that I was going to try to do even more to live out my lifelong goal of trying my best to be something different.

And it's because of reading so many posts that state similar sentiments as the one above that I don't ever want a man to walk away thinking I used him for a free dinner, therefore, not only do I pay for my own, but his as well.

My ex wife bought half on our first date and through out our entire relationship. I was not a sugar daddy. Then she divorces me and i was ordered to pay her 40k cash and 10k per year for 15 years. She makes 6 figures. This is all taxable i have to pay her taxes for her so add 20some percent and i receive zero tax benefits from kid. Thats a lot of fine dining im gonna mis. Men dont want to b paying women 10s or 100s of thousands of dollars long after that woman left them. Were not worried about dinner. And that tactic u use is actually common and thats the attitude women have up until they walk in the court room.

Yes there is a lot of women doing dine and dash on men. Ive never had it happen to me but i never online dated. Also as men age they are gonna see rumors turn into reality with divorce they are all gonna have friends who lost big. Its why married men do what their wives tell them so they dont end up like the buddy they heard about. I dont necessarily know what your answer is.

 

[seoulsearch]

My ex wife bought half on our first date and through out our entire relationship. I was not a sugar daddy. Then she divorces me and i was ordered to pay her 40k cash and 10k per year for 15 years. She makes 6 figures. This is all taxable i have to pay her taxes for her so add 20some percent and i receive zero tax benefits from kid. Thats a lot of fine dining im gonna mis. Men dont want to b paying women 10s or 100s of thousands of dollars long after that woman left them. Were not worried about dinner. And that tactic u use is actually common and thats the attitude women have up until they walk in the court room.

Yes there is a lot of women doing dine and dash on men. Ive never had it happen to me but i never online dated. Also as men age they are gonna see rumors turn into reality with divorce they are all gonna have friends who lost big. Its why married men do what their wives tell them so they dont end up like the buddy they heard about. I dont necessarily know what your answer is.

I am truly sorry for you and any man who has, or is, going through this. I really am. I am a woman and I'll be the first one to tell you that women, including myself, can be absolutely vicious.

I'm not saying any of this about you personally Treeboy, but what frustrates me so much is a blanket statement of women only being out for money, with absolutely no acknowledgement that not all women are like that, and that there are plenty of women who have been taken to the cleaners by men as well. I'm just always hoping for more balanced views instead of stereotypes.

I have heard many, many stories of men being taken for everything they have (or more) by ex-wives, and believe me, they have my deepest sympathy.

But I also feel that for every story about an ex-wife who is living on Sugar Hill, men also need to hear about the women who have gone through the same and are also recovering.

I can't claim to have been through nearly as much grief as others, but for every guy who has a story about a women emptying out his wallet, I can at least give him a run for the money (pun intended.) How about the time I wound up paying for a man's children, quite literally, because he became too drunk to care for them, and his babysitter called me when he had slurred way too much in a conversation with her on the phone.

I don't have children. But I wound up paying for his kids' food, birthday and Christmas gifts (or they wouldn't have had any,) babysitter, court case that his babysitter brought against him, court case that his ex-in-laws brought against him, and eventually many of their daily living expenses because when he saw that he had help, he decided to drink full-time rather than work.

So for every man out there who has been used and betrayed for money, believe me, I hear you, and I am very, very sorry.

I know it won't seem like much consolation, but all I can say is that God gets us through this and eventually helps us recover, and I know that I for one have hopes for better days ahead (though that was the last time I had a boyfriend, which was many, many years ago, because all I seemed to find locally was more of the same.)

I am VERY thankful to my guy friends who are GENUINELY good, Christian men who are living proof that stereotypes never encompass absolutely everyone, whether a man, or a woman.

 

[Lanolin]

\

yes the population density has grown exponentially and it seems we have so many choices.. but why do many still feel like they're alone, disconnected from reality. social media makes it look like there's so many happy couples lol. Many of these "arrangements" are simply transactional, unfortunately. We don't even have to leave our room to interact with people. I don't know about you, but I want to have that connection when your heart just knows that that's your human and they accept and care for who you really are. There's nothing wrong with choosing to remain single, for whatever reason. We just waste energy comparing ourselves to others anyway, complaining when we're lacking something, holding a grudge towards someone who did us wrong. The prospect of marriage doesn't scare me as much as choosing the wrong partner. "Life with God is not immunity to difficulties, but peace in them" something like that

i dont know maybe they were an only child, or didnt go to school or something.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

My ex wife bought half on our first date and through out our entire relationship. I was not a sugar daddy. Then she divorces me and i was ordered to pay her 40k cash and 10k per year for 15 years. She makes 6 figures. This is all taxable i have to pay her taxes for her so add 20some percent and i receive zero tax benefits from kid. Thats a lot of fine dining im gonna mis. Men dont want to b paying women 10s or 100s of thousands of dollars long after that woman left them. Were not worried about dinner. And that tactic u use is actually common and thats the attitude women have up until they walk in the court room.

Yes there is a lot of women doing dine and dash on men. Ive never had it happen to me but i never online dated. Also as men age they are gonna see rumors turn into reality with divorce they are all gonna have friends who lost big. Its why married men do what their wives tell them so they dont end up like the buddy they heard about. I dont necessarily know what your answer is.

Is this child support or spousal support?