As for guys, at least myself, it seems as if we must formulate and articulate the proposition of declaring interest in a very precise and benign way in order to even hope for a chance at developing a friendship.
So then the man is attempting to pursuit yet it falls on deaf ears or perhaps the woman has a very specific target which negates anything less...
Boy for being a newby I sure bit off a mouthful!
Love to hear feedback but please be merciful..
Perhaps you have had really bad experiences - I don't mean to suggest ALL women are easy to approach or talk to - but the idea that someone might not even try to get to know me because they think they have to say exactly the right thing is sad.
It takes only a simple phrase, like "So what did you think of the sermon?" or "Great ball game, hunh?" or anything showing an interest to talk - a common ground - and yes, maybe you'll have to work to get things going, and maybe ultimately it won't go anywhere, but you won't find love if you don't try.
Women are just people, too - we fumble with words, we can be shy or afraid of rejection - but any woman who requires you blow her away with your first line is probably not the right gal anyway, don't you think?
I don't ask men out anymore; I used to start conversations with a man if I thought he was interesting or maybe he was interested in me. But I found that led to poor relationships. My "initiative" gave them the impression that I was very forward, and therefore they presumed I wanted a sexual encounter, or I ended up with someone who wanted me to be the leader, which is an awkward, untenable position for me - I didn't respect them as a man because I was the one "wearing the pants" so to speak.
I think perhaps that's because God intended each man to be the leader of his family (or of a relationship). I don't mean the man has to do everything - it's a partnership - but the scriptures do place the man as the head of the family.
Not to be harsh, Pilgrim, but a man who is too shy or scared or intimidated to ask a woman out for coffee or who thinks he needs to say the perfect thing to start a conversation is probably someone who is needs to seek some support to build self-esteem before being in a relationship.
I hope nothing I have said hurts your feelings or makes you angry. I'm your sister in Christ and I want you, my brother, to be happy and find his true love!