Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

[Snackersmom]

Tobby, I don't think you're understanding the scripture provided yet. In 1 Corinthians, Paul explains how a marriage between a believer and non-believer CAN work. Furthermore, I don't recall anyone in this thread suggesting that Matthew(or anyone) could change a non-believer.

You seem to be under the impression that God won't allow a marriage between a believer and a non-believer. We have provided biblical evidence and anecdotal evidence to the contrary. Would you kindly provide supporting evidence or concede the point?

Uh, Mr. Lightning, just to clarify, I could be mistaken, but I don't think any of us were saying that marriage between a believer and a non-believer was a particularly good idea. I think that God could lead a Christian to a RELATIONSHIP, even a semi-romantic one, with a non-Christian, but marriage is whole other ball game. I'm sure that The Big Boss could bless such a union, as He can do anything He pleases, but you better be 100% positive about it, as in sought-His-will-without-ceasing, no-doubt-in-your-mind-CERTAIN that you have indeed heard from Headquarters. If someone has indeed done so, then I, for one, would not be judging their decision. But as a general rule, Christians should only tie the knot with other Christians. Just wanted to clear that up.

 

[Snackersmom]

I agree with everything Snackers said. Hopefully, she will realize that she misses Christ's presence through you and then she will come back being a christian , something similar happened to me. Ask the Lord for guidance, make sure you are not compromising your faith. God bless you.

I'd love to hear your story, Miss Kayem, if you want to post it

 

[Jullianna]

I still believe in conversion. I also believe it's foolish to be with anyone and expect them to change. That goes for anything about them, but especially if they are a non-believer. I could deal with and accept a lot of faults (no one is perfect) but being with a non-believer is an instant NO.
Sure some people have stories where the unbeliever did come to God. Guess what though? There are a greater number of stories where the unbeliever didn't come to God. Why gamble with such a huge thing?
I'll take it a step more. I don't know that I could be with a new believer. Why is that? I've seen countless people claim to come to God only to fall away after a while and never return. They never truly had that firm foundation. It takes some time to see how committed a person truly is.
I've also seen plenty of times where an unbeliever starts coming to church because they are with a Christian. They claim conversion, get involved in church, etc. etc. The relationship goes bad and then they leave the church. They were there for the wrong reason, obviously. They loved that person more than they loved God.
Missionary dating is a terrible idea...period.

excellent..........

 

[LightningClap0002]

If you aren't familiar with 2 Corinthians 6:21, it speaks quite plainly about this. It is more broad in it's intention than just romantic relationships, but it certainly does apply to them (possibly with a more profound affect).



1 Corinthians also addresses the issue of a believer and a non-believer when it states



The long and the short of it is that God can work miracles in the hearts and minds of men (and women). To enter into a relationship knowing from the beginning that it is not between two followers of truth can lead to huge chasms of both understanding and belief.

S-mom, perhaps you missed this post. It was wayyyyy back at the very beginning of the thread.

My stance in the post you quoted was strictly one of COULD, not WOULD or SHOULD(which has been my stance since page 2 of this thread). The 1 Corinthians passage is specifically talking about two people that ARE married. Thus, my argument is simply that believers CAN be married to non-believers. In such a case, there are really only three possible outcomes:
1) The believer sanctifies the non-believer (1 Corinthians 7:14)
2) A chasm is opened between the believer and the non-believer(1 Corinthians 7:15)
3) The believer is pulled back into a life of sin

To me the odds are pretty bad and the negatives too devastating. But to say that "...The point is *IT CAN'T WORK*" is not Biblical truth.

 

[Snackersmom]

OK, I see what you're saying, Mr. Lightning, and I think that we pretty much agree, I just didn't want anyone to misunderstand . But, please do NOT call me S-mom. It sounds nasty.

 

[kayem77]

I'd love to hear your story, Miss Kayem, if you want to post it

Oh my story is not a love story, I think I gave the wrong perception haha sorry . In my case, I started missing Christ in my life thanks to a friend. She was the only christian friend I had in Mexico, and I used to go to her church's youth activities sometimes. Even though I never decided to surrender to Christ back then, I learned so much from her, and I didn't realize until a few months ago, when I moved from Mex to California.

It's funny because when I was in Mexico, after the youth bible studies and other things like that ended, despite knowing Christ was the Saviour and feeling good after the sermons, I continued to live my life like always. So from my friend's eyes, maybe I was a lost case, maybe she thought that everything I heard went in one ear and out the other, but.... NOOO it didn't haha. She didn't know I thought about it several times a weeek, even if I went to parties,clubbing,etc. She didn't know that I missed going to church sometimes, that sometimes I felt the void inside of me, especially when I was alone, or in times of trouble.
I guess I just needed to miss the little piece of Christ I had through her, or perhaps just REALIZE that I missed it, because when I moved to Cali, I was suddenly all alone and it suddenly hit me: I'm alone, and I need Christ, and not just through a friend. It's hard to explain how God worked on me....but He did. And my friend was the starting point of His work. And now Im so thankful that God brought me here so I could realize that ALL this time all I really wanted and I needed was to be in His hands. Some people (like me) just need to miss that little piece of Christ when everything is calm and you're alone with your thoughts, then everything becomes crystal clear.
That's why I always try to keep in mind the impact I make on others, even if I think I don't make that much of an impact.

 

[Snackersmom]

Thanks for your story, Kayem, it was really sweet . I hope that it will speaks to someone's heart! .

 

[jandian]

If you care about this girl, you can invest in her life prayerfully unto salvation....It does not require you being in a romantic relationship with.

It's not impossible for God to save her and than you end up in a nice fruitful godly relationship...and hey we will be all cheering for you.

But.....it would be pretty hard to know what God is saying on the matter if you are so emotionally and actively involved. So separate yourself, seek Him first and His kingdom business and all things will be added unto you...that includes His true intentions for your love life....All the best

 

[ChristianVegan]

If the non Christian comes to the Lord, huge possibility

 

[Ritter]

I'll save you time and heartache: no.

 

[Michelle94]

Obviously it can work it. Just about anything is possible. I can't even say that it's unlikely. As the degree of likeliness is heavily influenced on the individual. Give it a shot. Worst case scenerio is...it doesnt work out. And you know the saying "it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all".

Good luck!

 

[aussieguy]

this is a good question

as i have struggled with this abit over the years as christian girls seem not to like me but non christian girls do

so ive dated them hoping that it will work out and that mayb she will get convertd or just everything will run smoothly but it never does.

at the beginning they are very open and accepting but it starts to become a slow fade and they slowly change you without you noticing and then morals clash and thats when you realise its not going to work.

so from experience it probably wont work mate but keep praying about it and see what Gods plans are..

 

[mschris]

Somethings are just plainly spelled out in the bible...we are not to be unequally yoked....a non believer is not subject to following the word of God...and isn't that what should govern every choice & decision a believer makes....non-christian + christian= conflict

 

[djness]

Good Morning from the UK,

Well it's 04:23 in the early hours and once again I'm awake thinking and dwelling on thoughts. I apologise for sharing this pointless information and making you all read more than is required haha.

So to the main point of my question...

I've read in many books how Christian Women are constantly praying for their husbands or partners to be more Christian and to have a closer relationship to Christ Jesus and God The Father.

In my own personal relationship, the roles are some what reversed. For I am the Christian man and the young woman whom I've gotten close to is a non Christian. That doesn't mean to say she isn't interested in my relationship with God, but she is more into the world at the present time.

So my question is (after this epic introduction)...

Should a man be patient and wait for God to give him a Christian Woman to love?
or....

Can a Christian man who loves a non Christian Woman (who in turn loves him back) end up having a relationship which could lead to the non Christian woman having her own personal relationship with God The Father and Christ Jesus?

All replies are welcome.

Thank you for reading and God bless x

Nobody knows who can be saved. So the answer is no, don't marry a non christian in hopes they will become on.

 

[Ritter]

Why would you even want to so much as go out with someone if you don't share deep spiritual convictions? Maybe I'm two selective, but there are very few girls I'll date within the church because our convictions outside those spiritual do not match up.

 

[EnlightenedInsanity]

No one has mentioned this verse but this is further understanding.

'Keep my decrees. "'Do not mate different kinds of animals. "'Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. "'Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.

This sheds more light on 2 Corinthians 6:14.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

 

[Henry_YZ]

I think it all summons up to what you want. Do you want to have a Godly relationship? If you do, then you obviously have to wait for a Christian girl.
Being a Christian encourages you to have a Christian like life, it's not just a name used describe yourself among others; that means you'd want your life to revolve around the Lord and that includes your gf or spouse.

 

[PostWar]

It is difficult to trust someone who doesn't also believe in God. Many reasons why we are who we are is because of our fundamental understanding of the difference between right and wrong and of the commandments we take to heart. In the end, there is no grey area, just a war between good and evil. In the end you must choose sides. Luckily it isn't a coin toss.
God is bigger than us and more trustworthy than we are. When someone you care about can't or refuses to understand and accept important things, it's almost like meeting someone who doesn't accept your children or your mother or compares your savior to the tooth fairy. Your intelligence and judgement are questioned and the average Atheist in a religious debate is fairly malicious. It can be very frustrating and it's easy to become discouraged and lose faith.
Changing a persons heart in such a great way takes the love of God and the same patience, understanding and humble nature you wish that person had for you and for God. Sometimes you have to go through it with them and it takes time but let all your dealings be with love.

 

[sammy-lee]

it is a hard choice for you, i feel for you!!
Sometimes we can want the best for someone and they will never make the choice to choose Christ. Sometimes our presence in their lives is enough to make them want to change things lacking in their lives and sometimes we also spend alot of time and become highly invested in the best we want to see in others and have our hearts broken. You really need to seek god and his counsel, he will be the only one who can truly tell you if your union with your friend will turn out to become something holy and beautiful. Be blessed xx

 

[GreenNnice]

Goodness people.... Doesn't anyone believe in conversion anymore?!?!
It's simple really, my mom was converted.... My dad did it!
Matthew can too.
Anything is possible if it's Gods will.
Go for it dude!

---

It is not a question of God's will...if God wanted your mom, argonseraphin, to become a christian.

God wanted it. No doubt, I am 100% certain of that. So, then whose will is it that your mom would become a christian?

Your mom's.


God's will does not convert us , at least, God does not impose His will on our lives, He gives us free choice. . Now, occassionally, God's decisions are tough to understand, line 911, but the Enemy (Satan is real and roaming and He tests us, like He did Job, but ONLY after God allowed it. God tested Abraham too. Scripture supports both these examples .

But God wants NO ONE to not choose Him. We are chosen but it is still.our choice to choose Him God wants no one to PERISH.
If we are ALREADY in a relationship as a christian with a non-christian, and, NO, I would NEVER get into a relationship with a non-christian with hopes she wouid CONVERT . The Lord leads but He is clear in scripture not to be yoked with an unbeliever because they will literally be a DRag on your life.

BUT, if you already are in a relationship as a christian with a non-christian, you can really only.do a few things ....

1. Be a Christly example outward in a GREAT way, for EVERY SINGLE THING you do will.be highly scrutinized by your partner or boyfriend/girlfriend .

2. Pray all the time by yourself is my best advice and NOT where the world fan see you pray, for one thing your partner , bc/gf won't be phased by that outward act and it does say in scripture, Matthew 6 think it says, that we should not , and, yes , Matt..6, I just looked it up, but God says we should 'not do our charitable deeds before men , to be seen by them. Otherwise, you have no reward from your Father in Heaven. '. Then, next verse, 6:2, says, therefore, when you do charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet.' That is being a 'hypocrite' verse goes on to say.

But these are asides, the person that IS the non-christian can only become a Christian by how?

Your FAITH !.YOUR BELIEF THAT YOUR NON-CHRISTIAN PARTNER, BC/GF, OR, FOR TGZT MATTER , JUST A LONGTIME NON-CHRISTIAN GOOD FRIEND CAN CHANGE.

And, when you pray, pray fervently for the Holy Spirit to change their life (or God, as I know even though scripture says the GREAT power of the Holy Spirit is yours for the taking some religions, like my Nazarene church growing up, did not believe in that 'personality of Power' as I.will put it for you although, to me, the Holy Spirit dwells in me for everything I say and do, I pray, even this said now.

I pray may these words help and can bless those in great need of living with a non-believer (non-christian) , that God's great power and Helper (per scripture , our helper is the Holy Spirit) will soothe and impress upon you to be a great example in life of Him for him/her