Would you marry you?

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,182
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Arizona
#1
So I was listening to a radio program today on Focus on the Family, talking about questions for a parent to ask a child’s future spouse. There were several, but man this one was a big big one for me.

Would you marry you?

Not being snarky. Not being silly. If you had to live with someone like yourself, with the issues that you know you have and still need to work on...would you? I know I need to really chew on that personally. I may have to answer after a while of having posted this to give myself time to really consider it.

And obviously if the answer is no way, what do you need/want/ are doing to change it?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,348
1,389
113
#2
I think so. And if someone invents a cloning machine that can reproduce me but as a man, I'm willing to at least give my male version the opportunity to take me on a date. Though if it's really me the need for communication would be minimized because we'd always think exactly the same so I'm not sure how much of a relationship that would be. On the other hand, clone me would probably be much more understanding and forgiving of me than the perfectionist real me is at times.
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#3
Absolutely! I already talk to myself!
Wow can you imagine!
There would be NO clutter!
Everything would be in its place.
We would always eat well!
We could talk about all the books I read and movies I watch!
YES! ABSOLUTELY!
We would agree in loving the Lord, rightly dividing the word!
Bring me on I'd marry me!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
15,739
3,332
113
#4
I have a song in my music collection that touches on this.

"If everybody gave like I gave
Would there be enough?
If everybody loved like I love
Would there be any love?

If everyone was just like me
What kind of world would this world be?
If everyone was just like me
Would it be a place I'd want to be?"

I think I would not want to marry somebody exactly like me. Why would we need each other? What would we have to talk about? I need somebody very different from me, so we can each be good at the things the other sucks at, and each help the other.

I remember an old Pickles comic. Pickles focuses on the grandparents of a family, Earl and Opal Pickles. One day their daughter asks Opal, "Mom, do you still love Dad?
"Of course I do! Whatever makes you ask that?"
"Well my husband was asking why you and Dad argue so much."
"Well shoot, if a husband and wife don't have anything to argue about, that just means one of them isn't necessary."

HOWEVER:

I think the question was more about "do you think you are a good choice for somebody to marry." I have no idea about that, as my viewpoint is by definition biased about myself.
 

morefaithrequired

Well-known member
Sep 28, 2019
2,194
1,251
113
#6
If I was looking for cynical pessimism, financial insecurity, eccentric lonerism and an obsessive compulsive narcissism, yes for sure! Why not! You only live once!
 

morefaithrequired

Well-known member
Sep 28, 2019
2,194
1,251
113
#7
Absolutely! I already talk to myself!
Wow can you imagine!
There would be NO clutter!
Everything would be in its place.
We would always eat well!
We could talk about all the books I read and movies I watch!
YES! ABSOLUTELY!
We would agree in loving the Lord, rightly dividing the word!
Bring me on I'd marry me!
you make some good points. Maybe i would be a good match
 

morefaithrequired

Well-known member
Sep 28, 2019
2,194
1,251
113
#12
Sorry I misunderstood your comment!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
yeah sorry. what i meant was that the points you made about yourself reminded me that I have some good points that would make me compatible with myself.
like talking about books and movies.
 
Oct 7, 2019
20
23
3
#13
So I was listening to a radio program today on Focus on the Family, talking about questions for a parent to ask a child’s future spouse. There were several, but man this one was a big big one for me.

Would you marry you?

Not being snarky. Not being silly. If you had to live with someone like yourself, with the issues that you know you have and still need to work on...would you? I know I need to really chew on that personally. I may have to answer after a while of having posted this to give myself time to really consider it.

And obviously if the answer is no way, what do you need/want/ are doing to change it?
I would marry me. Somebody who has gone through serious hard times with the Lord and learned much from it is more down to earth than a person who has had a good life and doesn't have understanding of problems and pain. I've learned to live with plenty and learned to trust God for the next day because I had no idea how I was going to make it.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
6,019
2,609
113
#14
I would not marry me...

I have very high standards and i know i do not live up to those standards..

Blame God and his Word if you must. :)

When you have been lifted up and seen an Awesome perfect pallace you no longer have any desire to go live in a dirty run down shack..
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
5,997
6,502
113
#16
Great thread, as usual...

Yes, I would. Us single ppl already (actually all ppl) have no choice to be with ourselves in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I might as well make it official...:D.

Seriously though, I think it would be helpful to live with someone with the same issues. We would understand and maybe be more forgiving and tolerant as we have the same insight. We would also know how to help one another.

Plus we'd have the same strengths. I think that would be a blessing.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,182
1,266
113
29
Arizona
#17
Ok I’m gonna finally try and do this...
It’s so funny because it plays into my notion of self criticism that I always have. At first I was like all critical of my flaws but then I had to think “Ok what would I say if it was a guy dealing with this same problem...I would want to help him, to support him. To let him know I’ve been there.” And this is weird because when it’s me, it’s totally not ok.

Hm...well if it was a gentleman who had the same ideals as far as smoking/drinking/premarital relations and was also a Christian, AWESOME. Christian geek as well, yas...

Hm....I think yes I would marry me...but if it wasn’t me? I think that just shows that I have again self criticism that I need to deal with.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
5,997
6,502
113
#18
Ok I’m gonna finally try and do this...
It’s so funny because it plays into my notion of self criticism that I always have. At first I was like all critical of my flaws but then I had to think “Ok what would I say if it was a guy dealing with this same problem...I would want to help him, to support him. To let him know I’ve been there.” And this is weird because when it’s me, it’s totally not ok.

Hm...well if it was a gentleman who had the same ideals as far as smoking/drinking/premarital relations and was also a Christian, AWESOME. Christian geek as well, yas...

Hm....I think yes I would marry me...but if it wasn’t me? I think that just shows that I have again self criticism that I need to deal with.
Ok what would I say if it was a guy dealing with this same problem...I would want to help him, to support him. To let him know I’ve been there.” And this is weird because when it’s me, it’s totally not ok. <<<< wow, good and profound point. If we think we would be good to help another with the same issues as ourselves, because se understand, why can we not help ourselves?

Perhaps we can... hmmmm.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
6,590
2,493
113
#19
Um. I cant picture it really I take things too literally.

If its just living with someone Im a good flatmate in general its just depends on how easy going the other person is.
If someone isnt too precious about their stuff, like my brother. Or a neatnik like my mother and can handle chaos from time to time, then they will be easier to live with. The thing with marriage as opposed to living with each other is you can always leave, if you try to leave a marriage its more complicated. You are stuck with that person for the rest of your life. So I think it depends on how forgiving you can really be of the little things.

If you make a big drama over someone forgetting to close the window all the time, for example, marriage is not going to last long with a lack of trust, I would imagine.

As for trusting my own judgement, I have become better over time and more discerning, but also more forgiving.

Yesterday I had this boy in the library who was jumping over the couches, the teacher was told, I didnt see that but the teacher made him apologise to me and I said ok, dont do it again. See you next time. But the teacher was like NO there isnt going to be a next time. Cos hes not coming back to the the library.

Some people are like if you do something wrong ONCE, thats it. The boy was only like 6.

Not that I would marry a child but just saying that even as adults people are still learning how to behave it seems. And if you've never been married before how are you going to know what its really like, you only have your parents marriage to go by, from observing how they handle things firsthand, and if that wasnt a bed of roses how are you going to know how it works?