I can honestly say I've never thought of it as a 'demand' list, because I'm not usually one to 'demand' things.
Demand as a noun: an insistent and peremptory request, made as if by right.
Demand as a verb: ask authoritatively or brusquely.
Basically, I tend to struggle with authority/the idea of something being 'a right'. I believe that no one is any better or worse than anyone else, and that no man is master of another. Only God is above all things, so I try not to suffer the imposition of other's wills upon my own.
That being said, I believe we're fallen and desperately wicked without God's help to be otherwise, so...using the lyrics of Lecrae in his song 'boasting':
"God has never been obligated to give us life.If we fought for our rights, we'd be in hell tonight."
That was just a free commercial on the peculiarity behind the idea of 'demand'. Now, onward more toward the point...
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I once had a very long laundry list of things I thought I'd like/look for in a girl. I found them...girls who met those lists. You know what I found out, though? We often don't really know what we want, or no longer want some things once we have them.
So, after more failed relationships than I believe the average person has... I've come to many a new understanding, and a completely different 'list'. I'm not actively searching anymore, however, so this is really more wishful than criteria...
(I've also posted this several times now over the years, so apologies to those who may be tired of seeing it. lol...sort of...)
1. She should actually love and follow Jesus. She doesn't have to be perfect, a saint, or even well put together. She can be broken, flawed, ordinary (at least...in the way people think). The thing is, like Kyle Idleman's Not a Fan series, I want an actual follower of Jesus, not just a fan.
A quick reference as to the difference: A fan likes Jesus and what He's about, but isn't really sacrificing, changing, or trying to trade what they have, think, feel, believe, etc in life for Christ and what He wants. I've met plenty of fans throughout my life in the church, but followers are harder to find. (For an idea, Jesus talks about this sort of thing in Matthew 6 & 7...)
So, I want her to be real. Someone who tries. Someone who reads/memorizes/tries to apply scripture every day. A woman who prays several times a day, and wants to give her life and thoughts and heart to Jesus, and being like Him. I want to be that kind of man, and I'd like a woman who is similar. That way, we could strengthen each other in our faith, because God knows we need all the help we can get. =/
2. She would need to love and choose me. That sounds simple or like a no-brainer, but it's harder to find than you might think. Of those many past failed relationships I mentioned... more were ended by my partner than by me.
People are complicated things, and we change. To love someone is a choice that you have to make over and over again every day. I just haven't been that choice very often, but God bless every one that has chosen to love me. I'm deeply grateful for them, and hope to love them back as well as they love me (or even better if possible).
3. I need God's approval. This comes from a time when I found a girl I wanted to marry, who wanted to marry me, but was convicted about our relationship. I'd like to find a relationship with God's blessing on it, and not to hurt anyone anymore or be hurt or have to give it up again. I'm not saying I wouldn't if He asked me, but I think my heart is a mess. It's been hard trying to seek and find the truth, work through brokenness and bad lessons/habits, and try to find a place of healing, wholeness, and sanctification. I'm not there, but God is faithful. He completes the work He begins.
__________________________________Those are the 3 majors. Next are 3 minors, thought still potential deal-breakers.___
4. Must love music. I'm a singer, songwriter, musician... I'm constantly listening to music, or singing, or playing music.. It'd be a huge rift for us if she couldn't at least appreciate my musical side. It's my #1 spiritual gift, and just a very large part of who I am.
5. The Friend Factor. I need someone who I can play with; as well as, be serious and open around. I'd like a girl who could just be her unmasked self with me, and that I could be that way with her. ...and even so, we still like each other and want to do things together. I've been fortunate enough to find a best friend like this (his name's Josh), but not a girl so far (that lasted anyway...).
*Lol, this made me think of a song:
[video=youtube;vSdbQLXpmPQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSdbQLXpmPQ&nohtml5=False[/video]
6. Attraction. Yeah...it's really a thing. We have to look at each other every day (if married, for the rest of our lives), so we should probably be attracted to each other.
Yeah, so um...that's about it. I'm also gonna be a pastor (and probably move around quite a bit), so that'll probably be a factor. I'd also like to have kids and such, but that just starts getting into all the little nitty gritty stuff...
