sinse a young age I've always been the little one that kids throw around because it was easy.. anyway i always treated girls the best I could although being walked all over by them because i was picked on. i had longed for a relationship of my own... how it would be perfect and id do it right. i hit highschool and was determined, a few girlfriends into highschool and i seemed to be doing something wrong, i was nice, i cared, gave them my everything (sex hadnt crossed my mind at all)... one day a girlfriend i had been dating for a few months decided to pressurr me into it... because i was so clingy and fekt as if id do anything to keep her so i said no, but was afraid to put up a fight about it. worst experience ever... I felt used, and from then on I felt that was all i was good for so i became a submissive (if you dont know what this is you are lucky do not ever go through it) and was used... eventually my feelings about it had burnt away along with the care that my parents split through my bad situation... i became a dominant which i had thought was a socially acceptable thing to do... i have done so much i am not proud of and became that which i hated the most... i grew up in a christian home and went on mission trips in fact at the age of 11 have taught at a bible study but... i had been corrupted and no one i know has any idea but i dont know if i can come back im trying so hard and im praying about it... i also just pray that God sends the right girl for me who can accept my past.. and help build my future.. i apologise that it is long i left alot out but yes... this has been eating at me sinse it started 3 years ago.