Conviction to redemption

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Zeke1408

Junior Member
Jun 7, 2017
3
0
0
#1
sinse a young age I've always been the little one that kids throw around because it was easy.. anyway i always treated girls the best I could although being walked all over by them because i was picked on. i had longed for a relationship of my own... how it would be perfect and id do it right. i hit highschool and was determined, a few girlfriends into highschool and i seemed to be doing something wrong, i was nice, i cared, gave them my everything (sex hadnt crossed my mind at all)... one day a girlfriend i had been dating for a few months decided to pressurr me into it... because i was so clingy and fekt as if id do anything to keep her so i said no, but was afraid to put up a fight about it. worst experience ever... I felt used, and from then on I felt that was all i was good for so i became a submissive (if you dont know what this is you are lucky do not ever go through it) and was used... eventually my feelings about it had burnt away along with the care that my parents split through my bad situation... i became a dominant which i had thought was a socially acceptable thing to do... i have done so much i am not proud of and became that which i hated the most... i grew up in a christian home and went on mission trips in fact at the age of 11 have taught at a bible study but... i had been corrupted and no one i know has any idea but i dont know if i can come back im trying so hard and im praying about it... i also just pray that God sends the right girl for me who can accept my past.. and help build my future.. i apologise that it is long i left alot out but yes... this has been eating at me sinse it started 3 years ago.
 

JayBlue

Senior Member
Jun 12, 2017
108
5
0
#2
sinse a young age I've always been the little one that kids throw around because it was easy.. anyway i always treated girls the best I could although being walked all over by them because i was picked on. i had longed for a relationship of my own... how it would be perfect and id do it right. i hit highschool and was determined, a few girlfriends into highschool and i seemed to be doing something wrong, i was nice, i cared, gave them my everything (sex hadnt crossed my mind at all)... one day a girlfriend i had been dating for a few months decided to pressurr me into it... because i was so clingy and fekt as if id do anything to keep her so i said no, but was afraid to put up a fight about it. worst experience ever... I felt used, and from then on I felt that was all i was good for so i became a submissive (if you dont know what this is you are lucky do not ever go through it) and was used... eventually my feelings about it had burnt away along with the care that my parents split through my bad situation... i became a dominant which i had thought was a socially acceptable thing to do... i have done so much i am not proud of and became that which i hated the most... i grew up in a christian home and went on mission trips in fact at the age of 11 have taught at a bible study but... i had been corrupted and no one i know has any idea but i dont know if i can come back im trying so hard and im praying about it... i also just pray that God sends the right girl for me who can accept my past.. and help build my future.. i apologise that it is long i left alot out but yes... this has been eating at me sinse it started 3 years ago.
Don't worry. God will bring you the right girl who can accept you.

Thank you for having the heart to share :) Sorry that no one said this sooner.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,045
1,577
113
63
Florida
#3
You really haven't done anything that horrible that God can forgive so you should let this go. If you were corrupted by this experience(s) than a majority of guys in this world have been corrupted too at one time or another. I assume from what you have written that this encounter(s) did not lead to pregnancy or an STD so that's a good thing. If you have prayed for God to help you He certainly can search and find a loving and faithful woman of your heart's desire. Just be prepared to act if this should happen and not to just simply wait until Ms. Perfect comes along 'cause she don't exist. In the meantime I would advise to keep it zipped up before something bad or unexpected happens. Don't worry, you'll be fine.
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
1,127
300
83
56
#4
sinse a young age I've always been the little one that kids throw around because it was easy.. anyway i always treated girls the best I could although being walked all over by them because i was picked on. i had longed for a relationship of my own... how it would be perfect and id do it right. i hit highschool and was determined, a few girlfriends into highschool and i seemed to be doing something wrong, i was nice, i cared, gave them my everything (sex hadnt crossed my mind at all)... one day a girlfriend i had been dating for a few months decided to pressurr me into it... because i was so clingy and fekt as if id do anything to keep her so i said no, but was afraid to put up a fight about it. worst experience ever... I felt used, and from then on I felt that was all i was good for so i became a submissive (if you dont know what this is you are lucky do not ever go through it) and was used... eventually my feelings about it had burnt away along with the care that my parents split through my bad situation... i became a dominant which i had thought was a socially acceptable thing to do... i have done so much i am not proud of and became that which i hated the most... i grew up in a christian home and went on mission trips in fact at the age of 11 have taught at a bible study but... i had been corrupted and no one i know has any idea but i dont know if i can come back im trying so hard and im praying about it... i also just pray that God sends the right girl for me who can accept my past.. and help build my future.. i apologise that it is long i left alot out but yes... this has been eating at me sinse it started 3 years ago.
Hi...Do not worry about getting a girl at the moment, God will send you someone just right for you in His timing, but for now, God wants ALL of you, surrender everything to Him and He will give you much needed rest...You are frail and need healing from your past hurt and your own mistakes, He will clean you from the inside out and you will be gleaming ready for your next step...Its important to remember that we are all broken from one thing or another, and those who never sit in Gods presence just drift on and fall deeper in to the pit. Study your bible, find Scripture on how our Amazing Father heals us, soak yourself in Him, because at the moment, He is who and what you need right now. This is sent to you with much love...God bless you...xox...