Sexual Temptation (TMI warning)

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Jan 23, 2022
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#62
I could not agree more with JohnDB.

Run away from that guy, he is no good at all. And yes, as John said possibly tell your parents. What that guy did to you is borderline sexual assault. If you have sex before marriage, I can promise you that you will regret it. Although I waited for marriage, even the other stuff I did that was sexual in nature I deeply regret. It caused me a lot of emotional problems and stress during the first few months of my marriage.

Waiting for marriage is one of the best things you could possibly do for yourself.
Borderline sexual assault? I’m going to have to disagree with you there.
 
Jan 23, 2022
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#63
He did not even ask your consent!!! That is called rape by any standard.

Your AGE alone would make it rape. RUN far and fast. Do not look back.

“Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent.” https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape

And also no, her age alone does not make it rape. They are both minors. This is straight up misinformation. Careful what you say. https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/is-it-illegal-for-two-minors-to-have-sexual-conduc-793997.html

https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/criminal-defense/is-sex-between-minors-a-crime/
 
Jan 23, 2022
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#64
He's a liar and trying to get you to drop your defenses.
I agree with you. For her sake, I think it would be best for her to not hang out with this guy anymore. But please stop false accusing this guy. First a rapist, now a liar?
 
Jan 23, 2022
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#65
But.... he's the only guy who thinks I'm attractive......... no one else thinks of me that way. I'm just worthless and very disgusting looking
Please don’t talk about yourself this way. Also don’t think because he’s the only one you think finds you attractive that you owe him something. Or that you’re ugly and disgusting. You are made in Gods image.
 
Jan 23, 2022
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#66
You don't sound like you are willing to take the counsel you came to seek.

Defending his reprehensible actions and saying he is sweet? That is what is wow.
Again, you don’t know him or her.
The boy is only taking advantage of you because you have low self-esteem (thoughts of being ugly and worthless) and thinks you are easy. I am serious. This boy you like is a complete loser. He is not going to marry you. He only has one thing in mind, and that's not studies. When he gets to high school, he is going to sleep around with a lot of other girls. He will likely be a loser after he graduates from high school, if he even makes it that far.
To me, it is completely hilarious how you and some others, gotten all of that from one little sliver of information about this guy.
 
Jan 23, 2022
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#67
Believe me, he is a complete loser. The crystal ball shows that he is going to sleep around and be a porn addict. Save yourself the guaranteed heartache.

You know what the crystal ball 🔮 is showing me? That if you do not stop assuming and accusing, one day it could back to you. Proverbs 18:2, John 7:24, and Proverbs 25:8
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#68
You know what the crystal ball 🔮 is showing me? That if you do not stop assuming and accusing, one day it could back to you. Proverbs 18:2, John 7:24, and Proverbs 25:8
No I can never be a porn addict. It is too boring.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
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#69
There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?
Are you still in this relationship ?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,249
25,719
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#70
I agree with you. For her sake, I think it would be best for her to not hang out with this guy anymore. But please stop false accusing this guy. First a rapist, now a liar?
Please educate your regarding the laws concerning sexual intercourse with a/between minor/s. It can be illegal for two minors to have sex. In some states, having sexual intercourse with someone who is under the age of consent is treated as statutory rape. In other states there is an exemption to statutory rape when two people who are close in age have consensual sex. Romeo and Juliet laws are clauses built into statutory rape laws in some states. These laws address situations in which two individuals who are close in age, and one of whom is not yet of legal age, engage in consensual sexual relations. The age difference allowed by Romeo and Juliet laws varies by state, though it is generally not more than five years. Each state’s law specifies which criminal charges, if any, may apply to each situation. source
 
Feb 18, 2022
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#71
I think you need to calm down about the "This is my only chance" thing. Someone is going to marry you, be in peace with yourself about that, marriage is a lot more than just atractiveness and trivial stuff, thats just the beginning. Marriage is a bound where man and woman build a life with meaning together, is something that if you take real serious, you will get a lot of benefits from it in you life.

The other thing is that I know from experience that sexual desires are very strong and difficult to avoid, but believe me, 90% of the girls I've met (as friend or as a couple) would change their "first time" if they could go back in time.

Sex is something so powerful that it can really destroy your life, believe me, you are not mature enough to dimention it and even we live in a culture where sex is such a natural and normalised topic that you may think it's normal for you to have intimate relationships.

Believe me, that would be one of the biggest mistakes of your life, me as a man, if I could go back in time, I would've wait until marriage because when you have your first time, sex will always have a space in your life, and that isn't something you want in your early life.

Just trust us and don't believe that we are "stupid conservatives" or something like that, many of us ruined a part of our life because of sexual sin, It isn't something to just earn heaven in a Christian context, is something to be at peace while you live in this world.

God created the sexual mechanism so strong for a reason, for a succesful reproduction and an intimate and unique conection with your husband.

I used to be an atheist for 10 years or so, and I know I'm not late to understand this, sex can really wreck your life, you better be a little conservative about it at least.
 
Feb 6, 2020
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#72
Yeah thats true........I just wish I were enough to be respected but I am an ugly slut and I dont deserve anyone at all
You’re not my friend. You’re loved beyond comprehension! :)* having self-conflict-ion is going to ruin you my friend, I’ve been down that road. Everyone has different personalities and taste, one person might think you’re ugly, while someone might think you’re the most Gorgeous person they’ve ever seen. I can understand why you wanna be with him. I’d forgive him even though Ik what he did was wrong; Christ would. We all make dumb mistakes we’ll regret later on in life, especially since you guys are 13 (I made a lot of dumb mistakes around that age lol). With age comes Maturity. Maybe try talking about with him why he wants to do that, and that it makes you uncomfortable. But if this keeps going on, you might wanna consider your relationship with him. If he genuinely loved you, he’d respect your boundaries. Even though I really hope you read this message, you’re loved, remember that! If you want someone to talk to, I’m always down to listen. God loved you, remember that my friend! It’s hard to see (I fail to see it some days), but his steadfast love is pure.
 
Feb 6, 2020
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#73
You’re not my friend. You’re loved beyond comprehension! :)* having self-conflict-ion is going to ruin you my friend, I’ve been down that road. Everyone has different personalities and taste, one person might think you’re ugly, while someone might think you’re the most Gorgeous person they’ve ever seen. I can understand why you wanna be with him. I’d forgive him even though Ik what he did was wrong; Christ would. We all make dumb mistakes we’ll regret later on in life, especially since you guys are 13 (I made a lot of dumb mistakes around that age lol). With age comes Maturity. Maybe try talking about with him why he wants to do that, and that it makes you uncomfortable. I really hope you read this message, you’re loved, remember that! If you want someone to talk to, I’m always down to listen. God loved you, remember that! It’s hard to see (I fail to see it some days), but his steadfast love is pure.
You’re not my friend. You’re loved beyond comprehension! :)* having self-conflict-ion is going to ruin you my friend, I’ve been down that road. Everyone has different personalities and taste, one person might think you’re ugly, while someone might think you’re the most Gorgeous person they’ve ever seen. I can understand why you wanna be with him. I’d forgive him even though Ik what he did was wrong; Christ would. We all make dumb mistakes we’ll regret later on in life, especially since you guys are 13 (I made a lot of dumb mistakes around that age lol). With age comes Maturity. Maybe try talking about with him why he wants to do that, and that it makes you uncomfortable. But if this keeps going on, you might wanna consider your relationship with him. If he genuinely loved you, he’d respect your boundaries. Even though I really hope you read this message, you’re loved, remember that! If you want someone to talk to, I’m always down to listen. God loved you, remember that my friend! It’s hard to see (I fail to see it some days), but his steadfast love is pure.
You’re not my friend. You’re loved beyond comprehension! :)* having self-conflict-ion is going to ruin you my friend, I’ve been down that road. Everyone has different personalities and taste, one person might think you’re ugly, while someone might think you’re the most Gorgeous person they’ve ever seen. I can understand why you wanna be with him. I’d forgive him even though Ik what he did was wrong; Christ would. We all make dumb mistakes we’ll regret later on in life, especially since you guys are 13 (I made a lot of dumb mistakes around that age lol). With age comes Maturity. Maybe try talking about with him why he wants to do that, and that it makes you uncomfortable. But if this keeps going on, you might wanna consider your relationship with him. If he genuinely loved you, he’d respect your boundaries. Even though I really hope you read this message, you’re loved, remember that! If you want someone to talk to, I’m always down to listen. God loved you, remember that my friend! It’s hard to see (I fail to see it some days), but his steadfast love is pure.
Love shouldn’t be rushed, talking to God through prayer about this situations is the best things you can do. Praying about your future, telling Him about your concerns and future anxieties will give you comfort and growth in your walk with him. Spend time with him, God will bless you with a Godly man who loves you and also truly loves him if you talk to him about it. :)*
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
7,856
1,447
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Brighton, MI
#74
There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?
Report him to School Authorities, the Police and both set of parents. And, then stay away from him, he is a rapist in his heart.
 
Jan 22, 2023
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#75
There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?
Okay, firstly 13 way too young to do this. Second every hear of God’s perfect plan of NO sex before marriage. Firstly what you almost did is definitely sex, and second kissing is still also sex.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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#76
Okay, firstly 13 way too young to do this. Second every hear of God’s perfect plan of NO sex before marriage. Firstly what you almost did is definitely sex, and second kissing is still also sex.
Fifthly, your second firstly and secondly should have been thirdly and fourthly.

Sixthly, if kissing is sex then where do we draw the line? I shook hands with a guy. Did I just have sex with him?
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
13,727
5,096
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#77
Fifthly, your second firstly and secondly should have been thirdly and fourthly.

Sixthly, if kissing is sex then where do we draw the line? I shook hands with a guy. Did I just have sex with him?
No but you did shake hands with everyone he has shaken hands with
 
Jan 22, 2023
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#79
Fifthly, your second firstly and secondly should have been thirdly and fourthly.

Sixthly, if kissing is sex then where do we draw the line? I shook hands with a guy. Did I just have sex with him?
Why do you think your supposed to have your first kiss at your wedding? Kissing is definitely sex and God intends for sex to be between husband and wife. Something like holding hands probably shouldn’t be considered sex, but physical contact in a sexual way should be considered sex
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#80
Why do you think your supposed to have your first kiss at your wedding? Kissing is definitely sex and God intends for sex to be between husband and wife. Something like holding hands probably shouldn’t be considered sex, but physical contact in a sexual way should be considered sex
"Kissing is definitely sex" directly contradicts observable fact and logic. Therefore I am going to have to ask you to provide chapter and verse where the Bible equates kissing with sex.

On the other hand, the Bible DOES say to greet each other with a holy kiss...