- Mar 24, 2020
I feel trapped by sin.. like every time I say I’ll change the way I do things I go right back to the way I was before! Sometimes I think I’d be better off just dying without the chance to sin again.. all I have is God and all I want is God, but yet even when trying my hardest I can’t please him.. it’s like I’m mediocre in everything I do, and then even God I can’t do good enough for. I thought if I just focused my mind instead Of on stopping sin but loving God something would change, and it did I do love God but Jesus says if you love me you will obey me, so what am I supposed to do? I know I love him that’s off the table but the love that Jesus is talking about the kind of love he had for us to deny himself everyday even to the point of death... I don’t want to just “love” him I want all of me to be consumed by love for him... just thinking about it, about that kind of love Overwhelms me my heart aches I just... I just want to truly and fully love God, and there are distractions, and so many other things and variables my mind conjures up.. but what good is living if I don’t die daily?
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