Ex-Girlfriend Blocked Me

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Jan 20, 2019
1
1
3
#1
Hello, everyone! It is nice to meet you all.

I am not sure where to start. First of all, some background:
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for about 2.5 years. We are both in our early twenty's. Although it was difficult to keep it strong (because of obvious limitations due to the distance), I can honestly say that we loved each by being in each other's lives in every way that we could. We were able to meet up several times each year, and I felt like we had plan for one of us to move in order to take our long distance relationship to the next "level". However, she broke things off with me about 9 months ago, saying that she can no longer tolerate the distance. At that moment, I offered to fly to her so that we could talk things through. I felt like by seeing me in person, she will be able to see how much she meant to me. However, she declined my offer.

After being broken up with her for almost 9 months, we were able to keep in touch with each other. We texted and called each other all the time, almost as if... We didn't even broke up at all. And throughout that whole time (9 months), I was left confused. There were many times where I asked if we could somehow reconcile the relationship that we once had. However, every time I brought up my feelings or my thoughts of reconciliation, she would get upset at me. Often times, she would even block me on her phone and all social media. And then a few days later, she would unblock me. However... This was a constant cycle of me bringing up my thoughts of reconciliation and her getting upset every single time.

Now, yesterday, I feel like I finally blew it for the last time. Like every other time, it was hard for me to suppress my feelings for her, and so... I did it again; I expressed my feelings for her and how I wanted her to be in my life again. She threw her usual fit of rage and blocked me on everything again. But this time, she doesn't want us to talk ever again. As I am writing this, I understand that I shouldn't have pushed her too much. It was a big mistake of mine.

There are many reasons why she doesn't want to be back in a relationship with me. As I mentioned earlier, she can't handle the distance between us (we live a state away). However, there are also other things that took place throughout the relationship, such as me taking advantage of her and not giving her my undivided attention. There were even times that I would be so exhausted that I would get upset at her because of how much time she wanted from me. Although this was wrong with me at the time, I would explain to her many times that I have work and school, and that I am trying hard to be successful in order to prepare for our future and the big move for one of us. Throughout the 9 months after we have broken up, I have been doing my absolute best to show her how better of a man I can be. I chose to remain in contact with her and be her "friend". I thought that by being friends with her and doing so much for her (such as keeping her company, sending her gifts, being someone she could wean on), she would see just how much she means to me. I had the mindset that if I show her just how loving I can be, she will eventually come back Was I wrong? Should I have let her go a long time ago?

I am a Christian, and I feel like I have been walking with the Lord my whole life. I have went to a Christian elementary, middle, and high school. I'd like to think that my ex was a Christian too, since we used to have occasional conversations/devotions about God. If my ex truly loved me, wouldn't her love stand the test of time, no matter how many miles were between us? We had a plan to finally live together under one roof, but it felt like she didn't had the patience... Does it not say in 1 Corinthians that "love is patient"? And when it comes to the small problems (as mentioned earlier) that were scattered throughout the relationship, does the Bible not say that love "keeps no record of wrongs"? And when it comes to every single time I wanted to reconcile the relationship, shouldn't she not have been so "easily angered", as also mentioned in 1 Corinthians? I wish she could just see how much I am wiling to change for her... It makes me think that she is not mature enough to put the past aside (keep no record of wrongs) and have a new beginning with me again.

This post is probably a big messy wall of text, and I apologize for that.
I have many questions, but there are particularly three that I've been wondering...
1. Did she ever really love me? It's hard to think that, if the distance got to her.
2. Why did she get upset every time I brought up my feelings for her?
3. Was it a mistake of trying to remain friends with her this whole time?
4. Since she blocked me "for good", should I just finally move on?

Thank you so much for reading this, everyone!
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,737
5,613
113
#2
Sounds like she cared for you, but probably met someone else who can actually be there with her, whereas you can't due to distance.

To answer your questions:

1. Most likely she did.

2. She probably feels guilty for stringing you along all this time.

3. YES. When a relationship ends, keep it ended.

4. That's an even bigger YES.
 

Lukwiz

Junior Member
Oct 13, 2017
14
0
1
#3
Things can happen that no one suspected before; meanwhile it seems like you're in the round table. 1. She didn't hate hate you, neither did she hate you.
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#4
You guys are young and people change so much in their teens and 20s. Like BLB says, she probably met someone else closer to her and she's enjoying his company. Long distance relationships are very difficult...and if you didn't have time to give to her, then I can see why she found someone else that did have time for her. I'm not saying she is at fault or you are at fault. I think you both just grew apart. Or rather...she grew apart from you. It seems like maybe you haven't let her go. Go ahead and let her go...because that's all you can do at this point. She decided she doesn't want to be with you almost a year ago. You have to accept that and realize that when you do marry a girl, it has to be a woman that WANTS to be with you forever. Marriage is tough work and you should marry someone who is excited and happy to be with you. Forcing something is never a good idea.

All that being said, I think it's wise of you to continue working and going to school. You are thinking about your future and that's great! Keep working on yourself and maybe in a few years you will meet a girl who actually adores you and wants to be with you.

Also, you said that you were willing to change for her. Depending on what you did, maybe she just gave up instead of giving you another chance. Yes, the Bible says love keeps no record of wrongs. But love is a verb...and sometimes we love and other times we do not. So you can't say that someone didn't love you because they were not showing you love 100% of the time. Only God can love us 100% of the time. Learn from this and if you did something wrong (I don't know if you are talking about the lack of attention or something else) confess it and resolve not to do it again.
God bless you, brother and take care.
 

Hepzibah

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2015
337
24
18
#5
Forget her - she sounds like she was a drama queen.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,508
1,436
113
Germany
#6
Sounds like she cared for you, but probably met someone else who can actually be there with her, whereas you can't due to distance.

To answer your questions:

1. Most likely she did.

2. She probably feels guilty for stringing you along all this time.

3. YES. When a relationship ends, keep it ended.

4. That's an even bigger YES.
Agreed.
Life can be a pain
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,133
953
113
#7
OP
I find it funny you wanting to throw I Corinthians out there as a measure for her to live up to, yet you didn't hold yourself to those same standards when you were together. Or even after you broke up. It wasn't until she kicked you to the curb once and for all that you finally decided to act right.
You yourself admit you were regularly short with her. And when she ended things did you remain patient and give her space or continually push for what You wanted no matter how much it upset and hurt her? You knew how she would react and yet you selfishly pushed for what YOU wanted. Is That love???
How about communication? When dating you couldn't even express to her the times when you needed to rest.
You're throwing the bible at her like some kind of weapon, using it as a form of control and manipulation.
Yet not even living up to the very standards you accuse her of failing. That's called hypocrisy.

Frankly, I don't blame her. You're pushy, selfish and use the bible to manipulate. She sounds like she's better off without that in her life.

And you have the gall to call Her immature? What a joke.
 

GodsGrace101

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2018
2,225
517
113
#8
Hello, everyone! It is nice to meet you all.

I am not sure where to start. First of all, some background:
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for about 2.5 years. We are both in our early twenty's. Although it was difficult to keep it strong (because of obvious limitations due to the distance), I can honestly say that we loved each by being in each other's lives in every way that we could. We were able to meet up several times each year, and I felt like we had plan for one of us to move in order to take our long distance relationship to the next "level". However, she broke things off with me about 9 months ago, saying that she can no longer tolerate the distance. At that moment, I offered to fly to her so that we could talk things through. I felt like by seeing me in person, she will be able to see how much she meant to me. However, she declined my offer.

After being broken up with her for almost 9 months, we were able to keep in touch with each other. We texted and called each other all the time, almost as if... We didn't even broke up at all. And throughout that whole time (9 months), I was left confused. There were many times where I asked if we could somehow reconcile the relationship that we once had. However, every time I brought up my feelings or my thoughts of reconciliation, she would get upset at me. Often times, she would even block me on her phone and all social media. And then a few days later, she would unblock me. However... This was a constant cycle of me bringing up my thoughts of reconciliation and her getting upset every single time.

Now, yesterday, I feel like I finally blew it for the last time. Like every other time, it was hard for me to suppress my feelings for her, and so... I did it again; I expressed my feelings for her and how I wanted her to be in my life again. She threw her usual fit of rage and blocked me on everything again. But this time, she doesn't want us to talk ever again. As I am writing this, I understand that I shouldn't have pushed her too much. It was a big mistake of mine.

There are many reasons why she doesn't want to be back in a relationship with me. As I mentioned earlier, she can't handle the distance between us (we live a state away). However, there are also other things that took place throughout the relationship, such as me taking advantage of her and not giving her my undivided attention. There were even times that I would be so exhausted that I would get upset at her because of how much time she wanted from me. Although this was wrong with me at the time, I would explain to her many times that I have work and school, and that I am trying hard to be successful in order to prepare for our future and the big move for one of us. Throughout the 9 months after we have broken up, I have been doing my absolute best to show her how better of a man I can be. I chose to remain in contact with her and be her "friend". I thought that by being friends with her and doing so much for her (such as keeping her company, sending her gifts, being someone she could wean on), she would see just how much she means to me. I had the mindset that if I show her just how loving I can be, she will eventually come back Was I wrong? Should I have let her go a long time ago?

I am a Christian, and I feel like I have been walking with the Lord my whole life. I have went to a Christian elementary, middle, and high school. I'd like to think that my ex was a Christian too, since we used to have occasional conversations/devotions about God. If my ex truly loved me, wouldn't her love stand the test of time, no matter how many miles were between us? We had a plan to finally live together under one roof, but it felt like she didn't had the patience... Does it not say in 1 Corinthians that "love is patient"? And when it comes to the small problems (as mentioned earlier) that were scattered throughout the relationship, does the Bible not say that love "keeps no record of wrongs"? And when it comes to every single time I wanted to reconcile the relationship, shouldn't she not have been so "easily angered", as also mentioned in 1 Corinthians? I wish she could just see how much I am wiling to change for her... It makes me think that she is not mature enough to put the past aside (keep no record of wrongs) and have a new beginning with me again.

This post is probably a big messy wall of text, and I apologize for that.
I have many questions, but there are particularly three that I've been wondering...
1. Did she ever really love me? It's hard to think that, if the distance got to her.
2. Why did she get upset every time I brought up my feelings for her?
3. Was it a mistake of trying to remain friends with her this whole time?
4. Since she blocked me "for good", should I just finally move on?

Thank you so much for reading this, everyone!
No. 4,,,the only one that counts.
YES.
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
6,664
2,361
113
#9
I wish she could just see how much I am willing to change for her.
no. be who you are. resentment is the baby usually born out of 'changing' so someone will like you, come back to you or stay with you or whatever connected to being able to hang on to someone that really just wants to go

maybe consider yourself and how you will act in your next relationship

we can change through the power of the Holy Spirit, but changing so someone will like us is very seldom going to work out at either end. what God wants to change, is us, inside to follow Christ. that actually does work in a relationship if genuine

my 2.5 cents
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,080
336
83
28
Arizona
#10
I think I can speak as a person who has had to deal with the girls side of the equation, since I had the same situation happen to me.

I know as a person who called off the relationship with him, when he would want to keep talking it would continually remind me of how the relationship failed and I would be angry with myself. He too had wanted to get back together, which made me upset. More that he didn’t really want to be friends. He wanted to “be friends” while expecting more eventually. He didn’t respect my feelings or my own process of loss, and it ended up I got so upset I got a panic attack and had to distance myself completely. Yes I did block him eventually but that was a last straw.

To me the blocking and then unblocking you constantly is pretty unreasonable. You block someone and that should be it, not play with they’re persons feelings.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,080
336
83
28
Arizona
#11
I also just realized that the dude who made the OP did this one post and has not done anything else. >w>; Is...is he even still here???
 

Teacher311

New member
Jun 1, 2019
1
0
1
#12
I think love is something that happens to some of us. I never found someone who loved me. I am the only person that can make myself happy. There is no man on Earth that can do that.