I am tempted by a coworker

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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#21
I work as a chef,and one of the waitresses appears to have a crush on me, and she is not being subtle. Ie. Flirting, asking if I'm single,my age, other things that go past a professional relationship.

From what I understand, she is currently in a relationship with another man. I am currently happily single, but have always felt a bit insecure about my overall attractiveness to the other gender. I am also worried that I may never find that special someone, when the time comes.

How do I maintain a friendly professional relationship with this woman, and still be godly and polite?

PS. I am in no way considering taking it up with HR, as I think she's basically a good person, but just on the wrong track a little?
Being in a relationship with another man is the same thing as being married so I would not let that stop me if I were interested.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
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#22
Being in a relationship with another man is the same thing as being married so I would not let that stop me if I were interested.
So, you go after married women?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,030
1,554
113
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#23
So, you go after married women?
Perhaps some clarification is in order. The chef is a man, the waitress a woman. The waitress is in a relationship with a man who is also interested in another man, the chef.

Oh yeah, there was a little typo in my post that changed the meaning slightly. I meant to write that it is 'not the same thing'. My bad. I hope that I did not inadvertently steer the guy in a wrong direction. :)
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,432
415
83
#24
Perhaps some clarification is in order. The chef is a man, the waitress a woman. The waitress is in a relationship with a man who is also interested in another man, the chef.

Oh yeah, there was a little typo in my post that changed the meaning slightly. I meant to write that it is 'not the same thing'. My bad. I hope that I did not inadvertently steer the guy in a wrong direction. :)
If he doesn't make a move, I will.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,030
1,554
113
63
Florida
#25
Perhaps some clarification is in order. The chef is a man, the waitress a woman. The waitress is in a relationship with a man who is also interested in another man, the chef.

Oh yeah, there was a little typo in my post that changed the meaning slightly. I meant to write that it is 'not the same thing'. My bad. I hope that I did not inadvertently steer the guy in a wrong direction. :)
Yeah, another clarification is in order. It is the waitress that is interested in another man who is the chef, and not her boyfriend who is interested in the chef. At least not at this time.

I obviously suck at relationships. I used to be a chef though if that's any consolation.
 

breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
5,125
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#26
If your not comfortable with it it's actually sexual harassment and you don't have to put up with it.

And your posts are contradictory... You reckon she has a man yet is flirting with you and saying you think she's a relatively good person, how can you possibly think that?
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,432
415
83
#27
If your not comfortable with it it's actually sexual harassment and you don't have to put up with it.

And your posts are contradictory... You reckon she has a man yet is flirting with you and saying you think she's a relatively good person, how can you possibly think that?
How is that sexual harassment? What would she know, how he feels?
 

G4JC

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2011
668
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#28
I've read through three nearly three pages of content and saw no mention of scriptural advice, sad!

1) If you are born again, it is imperative you find a mate that is also a saved believer in Christ. Scripture warns of being unequally yoked with non-believers.

Further reading: https://www.gotquestions.org/date-marry-unbeliever.html

2) Based on what little information you have described, the girl sounds more like the character of Proverbs 7 than of Proverbs 31.

With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.
Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. - Proverbs 7:21-27

3) Since you described behaviour as uncomfortable, the best option is to report it to HR, pray for her, and ignore her. God will provide you with someone more in line with Proverbs 31 when the time is right. :)
 

Frontios1996

Junior Member
Mar 30, 2017
15
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#29
Quick update, I've since spoken to her about the behavior, she was just kidding with me, and apologized if she made me feel uncomfortable ,and we now share a friendly relationship, but no flirty behavior at all
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
15,086
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#30
Quick update, I've since spoken to her about the behavior, she was just kidding with me, and apologized if she made me feel uncomfortable ,and we now share a friendly relationship, but no flirty behavior at all
Problem solved. ;)