I Burn my self four time this semester only. Im I depressed.

[Zariah]

It all started early this year, I failed my first class at my college. It was my second to last semester at this community college. I felt like nothing. My sisters was taking the same classes as I was so we can help each other and things would be easy. But all it did was make things worse. Everyone started to compare me to my sisters and started asking me why I couldn't do as good as them. When my dad found out ( I was 18, started college early.) he called me a failure and said he didn't want anything to do with me. that my sisters are the winners and all I am is a loser. Later after that semester, the next semester, I got all my grades up to A's and B's but that did change what he had said to me. It still stuck with me, but he forgot about it and when I brought it up he said he was trying to encourage me to do better. When I told him how it made me feel, he didn't care. Now I'm starting at a new school (graduated from 2 year school.), a four year school, and its starting all over agine. But now I've started burning my self when I fail a test or exams. It hurts but I feel so much better after. I don't now what's wrong with me and I scared to talk to someone because they'll think I'm crazy or I might kill myself, which I would never do. But If someone could give advice. If they went thought something similar that would be grate.

 

[Jesusismyrock]

That's very upsetting. I wouldn't expect a father to ever say that. It must be extremely hard goin through what you are going through but you have to stop burning/hurting yourself. I'm going to pray for you.

 

[rachelsedge]

Zariah, my heart aches for you because I know your pain.

I have a twin sister. All through middle school and high school, I believed she was better than me in many ways. Those beliefs were, unfortunately, reinforced sometimes by others. Hurtful things were said and done. I don't really want to get into the details.

Anyway, during that time, I self-harmed. For some reason, the pain is like a release, isn't it? It's not a healthy way to express emotion, though.

Are there any counselors at your school you could talk to? Any young adult groups at a church nearby you could connect with and find someone you trust to share your burdens with?

Words can really, really hurt. Actions can, too. I would encourage you to find your favorite verses in the Bible that talk about God's love for you and how He views you. When you remember the hurtful words of others, fill your head with God's truth instead. It's hard. I know. But it is possible.

 

[Jmoore308]

You cant let words bring u down let them motivate u , Instead of getting upset when u fail a test , praise God for being able to even be in college , im in 12th grade with a 2.9 GPA my sister is in 11th grade taking classes that i take with a 3.9 GPA i hear all the same things you hear but it motivates me to know that im my own person as long as you do your best that should please u, life is to short to try to please everybody else as long as u know your not a failure dont worry what they think and honestly family will be the first to try and bring you down but the God we serve is bigger than that so in the mist of your trials and tribulations praise God and he will see you through be blessed im praying for you

 

[eddie1801]

Zariah:

Sorry to hear your story. I am unsure of your ethnic background, however I know some races really stress academic excellence with their kids. I want you to know that your academic abilities is just one part of you. Your identity in Christ is more important that academic grades, prestige, power,wealth and position in life. Many times people are programed to emphasis so much importance on "earthly" things. The words your father spoke has damaged your self esteem. But God is a healer,and a restorer. Again, your spiritual growth is important, and this will be a testimony for you in the future for someone going through the same thing. I will leave you with this verse..2 Corithians 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" Look at the "positives" in your life ..you are a Christian..Jesus loves you..you are a child of God. You have a father in heaven who will not scorn you, but created you uniquely from anyone else on this planet.