Is it a sin to live with my boyfriend

[Sophia95]

Having trouble at home. It's so tough living with my parents. Can't buy anything for myself without anyone getting involved in my finances and constant arguments and my mum is ALWAYS shouting. It's all really putting me down, so my boyfriend has offered that I move in with him. But I want to please God above anyone or anything. Would I be sinning by living with him? If we're not having sex. I pretty much spend most of my time with him anyway and we've done well in resisting temptation. No I don't want to get married just yet I'm only 21! ... If it is a sin, where does it state so in the bible? - (btw I'm aware it says I'm male on here. Before people start getting offended and pointing the finger as usual, I've done everything to change it, emailed admin and still nothing)

 

[blue_ladybug]

Yes, it is a sin. You may be resisting temptation for right now, but there WILL be a moment of weakness and you'll end up in bed.. Better to stay at home and resist temptation, than to move in with it and suffer the fallout. If you're sick of living at home, then get an apartment of your own, and get a room mate. Living with your bf is a really, really bad idea..

 

[sharkwhales]

Having trouble at home. It's so tough living with my parents. Can't buy anything for myself without anyone getting involved in my finances and constant arguments and my mum is ALWAYS shouting. It's all really putting me down, so my boyfriend has offered that I move in with him. But I want to please God above anyone or anything. Would I be sinning by living with him? If we're not having sex. I pretty much spend most of my time with him anyway and we've done well in resisting temptation. No I don't want to get married just yet I'm only 21! ... If it is a sin, where does it state so in the bible? - (btw I'm aware it says I'm male on here. Before people start getting offended and pointing the finger as usual, I've done everything to change it, emailed admin and still nothing)

it's not a sin but it can be a foolish move that makes it hard not to sin.

the more you do things like a married couple, the more your mind and your soul and your body will be likely to act like you're a married couple. That's generally how it goes for us humans. there are exceptions but there's also people that think they're exceptions and then they realize they aren't.

If this is a serious relationship to you then you should keep it going at the right pace instead of letting difficulties rush you into something that could make it unstable and not a true reflection of your shared values. I mean if you don't want to get married now then why would you want to live together? why one without the other? don't you deserve a relationship where you want those things at the same time and it's all stable and makes sense? don't sell yourself short.

may be smarter to find a roommate or something. maybe a church can help you find another young woman in a similar situation. if your bf is serious he will be patient. if you're supposed to be together then it will become clear, naturally, in a way that doesn't erode your self-respect or self-control. a good relationship isn't built on compromising the values that ensure its future.

 

[tourist]

I just read your profile page and it states your a female. Your screen name is pink - female. As for shacking up with the boyfriend, I would advise against. There is no way that you and your boyfriend are going to live together without having sex. Yeah, it's a sin called fornication. Perhaps your boyfriend is encouraging you to live with him. I know what's on his mind. You know too.

 

[Ugly]

Bible says to avoid all appearances of evil. If you live together others will assume that you are also sleeping together, and this may ruin your witness to non-Christians and your reputation among Christians.
The bible also says to flee temptation. Living together is running Into temptation.
So while the bible may not say directly that it's a wrong thing, it's easy to use the bible to find an answer still.

 

[Demi777]

Living with him is not a sin. No more to say. God bless you sister and dont let people here drive you bonkers. Some just think that has to do with contact is a sin but no worries hugs will not make you sneeze out babies nor be called a sin.

 

[Depleted]

Having trouble at home. It's so tough living with my parents. Can't buy anything for myself without anyone getting involved in my finances and constant arguments and my mum is ALWAYS shouting. It's all really putting me down, so my boyfriend has offered that I move in with him. But I want to please God above anyone or anything. Would I be sinning by living with him? If we're not having sex. I pretty much spend most of my time with him anyway and we've done well in resisting temptation. No I don't want to get married just yet I'm only 21! ... If it is a sin, where does it state so in the bible? - (btw I'm aware it says I'm male on here. Before people start getting offended and pointing the finger as usual, I've done everything to change it, emailed admin and still nothing)

What does 21 have to do with reasons you can't marry him? If you're committing enough to live with him, then why not marry? If you know why you shouldn't marry, then you know why you shouldn't live with him too.

If your parents are hassling you, (and, btw, it's really hard to have an argument with yourself, so your mom isn't the only one arguing), it's time to raise the money to move out.

(Good news! You're pink today. But "Sophia" would have clued me in on your gender anyway. lol)

 

[Tinuviel]

It isn't a sin to live in the same house if you're not sleeping together, but be honest here: everyone has a moment when they slip up, and you guys are no exception. I've seen these situations before and they always end badly. If you have a church, see if you can stay with the pastor's family or if a married couple would take you in. Or get a job and an apartment and go at it that way. You could maybe even find a girl or two to share the rent with. Or do what I do and just put up and shut up. You say you're trying to please God, but are you REALLY striving to honor your parents with all your heart? I'm not condemning, because I'm human too and I struggle with the SAME things, these are just some things to think about.

 

[Luminous]

Dear 'Demi777', although I did not ask the question above, I think I should thank you for your willingness to be of help. In going through your response, I did not any scriptural thoughts backing up your advice, I wish there were. I believe living with anyone is not in itself defiling, especially when the person is a sheep of Lord Jesus, however, scriptures make it clear to "...flee from every appearance of evil..."- there are big rooms for lots of temptations in this case; "...to be careful of our conducts among unbelievers..."- what image of Jesus and His teachings would watching unbelievers see?; "...therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh..."- although this refers to relations more intimate than living together in a house (see it relates to Lord Jesus and the Church) it is clear that a separate family unit is expected for a man and woman who are married. I hope you get these few points. God bless you. Amen.

 

[Sophia95]

What does 21 have to do with reasons you can't marry him? If you're committing enough to live with him, then why not marry? If you know why you shouldn't marry, then you know why you shouldn't live with him too.

If your parents are hassling you, (and, btw, it's really hard to have an argument with yourself, so your mom isn't the only one arguing), it's time to raise the money to move out.

(Good news! You're pink today. But "Sophia" would have clued me in on your gender anyway. lol)

- "it's really hard to argue with yourself, so your mom isn't the only one arguing" ... Right ok. First of all you really don't know what I'm going through so please don't try to twist the blame on me. I've helped my parents countless of time. Taken loans out for them, they've maxed my credit cards because I never refuse when they ask for help. And I do it for God. But not always the case when I need a little favour or ask for help. I get abuse back. And yes my mum will keep shouting and going on even when I don't argue back. My dad has noticed himself as she does it to him at times to the point he will get up and leave the house for a bit so no I'm not the only one that thinks so. and Almost like in order for them to love me or treat me ok I need to do something for them first and I'm tired of living this way. There is so much more that has happened aswell.

This is the sort of reply that get to me. Honestly think "Christian" like yourself are the reason why atheist remain atheist or people stop being Christians. Judgemental.
I'm 100% sure you're not so perfect yourself. i really pray that you don't have that attitude towards non Christians friends. Oh wait, you probably don't have any cos the bible advices you to be equally yoked right?

And I don't want to marry him at this age and still feel there's things I need to do before getting married neither will I be forced into it. Because again after marriage People expect the couple to start having Children and they get forced into doing it to make others happy which I'm not ready to do. If I have a family or a husband I want to be in a good place in my career to be able to take care of them.

 

[Depleted]

- "it's really hard to argue with yourself, so your mom isn't the only one arguing" ... Right ok. First of all you really don't know what I'm going through so please don't try to twist the blame on me. I've helped my parents countless of time. Taken loans out for them, they've maxed my credit cards because I never refuse when they ask for help. And I do it for God. But not always the case when I need a little favour or ask for help. I get abuse back. And yes my mum will keep shouting and going on even when I don't argue back. My dad has noticed himself as she does it to him at times to the point he will get up and leave the house for a bit so no I'm not the only one that thinks so. and Almost like in order for them to love me or treat me ok I need to do something for them first and I'm tired of living this way. There is so much more that has happened aswell.

This is the sort of reply that get to me. Honestly think "Christian" like yourself are the reason why atheist remain atheist or people stop being Christians. Judgemental.
I'm 100% sure you're not so perfect yourself. i really pray that you don't have that attitude towards non Christians friends. Oh wait, you probably don't have any cos the bible advices you to be equally yoked right?

And I don't want to marry him at this age and still feel there's things I need to do before getting married neither will I be forced into it. Because again after marriage People expect the couple to start having Children and they get forced into doing it to make others happy which I'm not ready to do. If I have a family or a husband I want to be in a good place in my career to be able to take care of them.

Next time, just add you only want to hear agreement. It's quicker for many of us.

And you just proved the point on who is doing the arguing.

Do what you will. I know other ways to stop what you're going through, but obviously you're going to do what you will anyway and then blame it on why people become atheists.

 

[tourist]

And I don't want to marry him at this age and still feel there's things I need to do before getting married neither will I be forced into it. Because again after marriage People expect the couple to start having Children and they get forced into doing it to make others happy which I'm not ready to do. If I have a family or a husband I want to be in a good place in my career to be able to take care of them.

You asked for an answer on whether or not it is a sin to have pre-marital sex and several were gracious enough to respond and then you are critical of those you don't agree with. Who is forcing you to get married? Who really cares about the expectations of 'people' towards a newly married couple having children and worry about whether or not they are happy? I agree with you that you that there are things that you need to do before getting married.

 

[coby]

If you're super holy and both able to you could both live in a house with some others and your own room. I've seen christians who met each other in a students' home and yeah well they lived in the same house with their own room. They even married there and lived in one big room then there because they didn't have enough money for a house. Another couple just sort of shacked up there. It depends on the couple plus I only assume the first couple was super holy since they didn't speak about it.
But together at his place, that's living like you're married, except you don't have sex. If you can do that for years ehm well it's your choice, but I'd think: if it's that easy for him to control himself I'd better go look for someone else if I don't want to stand dry when I'm married.

 

[Demi777]

Dear 'Demi777', although I did not ask the question above, I think I should thank you for your willingness to be of help. In going through your response, I did not any scriptural thoughts backing up your advice, I wish there were. I believe living with anyone is not in itself defiling, especially when the person is a sheep of Lord Jesus, however, scriptures make it clear to "...flee from every appearance of evil..."- there are big rooms for lots of temptations in this case; "...to be careful of our conducts among unbelievers..."- what image of Jesus and His teachings would watching unbelievers see?; "...therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh..."- although this refers to relations more intimate than living together in a house (see it relates to Lord Jesus and the Church) it is clear that a separate family unit is expected for a man and woman who are married. I hope you get these few points. God bless you. Amen.

I get what you mean. Still being radical either way of ''strictly not going a place'' or ''just always going into danger zones'' will both cause damage. Plus i dont see the fact shes living with him as a bad thing. It all has Pro and Cons. Being Tempted and giving in are 2 things. Every single breath can be a temptation, its on us what me make out of it. If you have God you can go into any situation and come without giving in.
If you wanna live perfect and free of Temptation you gotta live in a box with no knives and nothing just a Box. If even that will do the trick

 

[RickyZ]

You asked for an answer on whether or not it is a sin to have pre-marital sex and several were gracious enough to respond and then you are critical of those you don't agree with. Who is forcing you to get married? Who really cares about the expectations of 'people' towards a newly married couple having children and worry about whether or not they are happy? I agree with you that you that there are things that you need to do before getting married.

She did NOT ask if it's a sin to have pre-marital sex. Rtfp (read the freaking post) before you answer please.

 

[RickyZ]

- "it's really hard to argue with yourself, so your mom isn't the only one arguing" ... Right ok. First of all you really don't know what I'm going through so please don't try to twist the blame on me. I've helped my parents countless of time. Taken loans out for them, they've maxed my credit cards because I never refuse when they ask for help. And I do it for God. But not always the case when I need a little favour or ask for help. I get abuse back. And yes my mum will keep shouting and going on even when I don't argue back. My dad has noticed himself as she does it to him at times to the point he will get up and leave the house for a bit so no I'm not the only one that thinks so. and Almost like in order for them to love me or treat me ok I need to do something for them first and I'm tired of living this way. There is so much more that has happened aswell.

This is the sort of reply that get to me. Honestly think "Christian" like yourself are the reason why atheist remain atheist or people stop being Christians. Judgemental.
I'm 100% sure you're not so perfect yourself. i really pray that you don't have that attitude towards non Christians friends. Oh wait, you probably don't have any cos the bible advices you to be equally yoked right?

And I don't want to marry him at this age and still feel there's things I need to do before getting married neither will I be forced into it. Because again after marriage People expect the couple to start having Children and they get forced into doing it to make others happy which I'm not ready to do. If I have a family or a husband I want to be in a good place in my career to be able to take care of them.

No it's not wrong to live with him, per se. But one should avoid the appearance of evil, and avoid temptation, so I think those would be the factors to consider here.

Taking out loans for your parents and letting them max out your credit cards raises a big red flag. The charge to honor one's parents comes with the contingency that they be honorable. Obviously they are not. I agree that you have to get out from under their roof. Just not sure if shacking up with the bf is the answer. Altho with your taxed credit it will be hard to find a place of your own to rent.

Inquire at church, see if anyone there can take you in. Or perhaps you can get mom some help, since she seems to be the instigator.

That's quite a corner you've been painted into.

And forgive depleted. She's a little rough around the edges but she means well. Like Ugly

 

[Luminous]

I get what you mean. Still being radical either way of ''strictly not going a place'' or ''just always going into danger zones'' will both cause damage. Plus i dont see the fact shes living with him as a bad thing. It all has Pro and Cons. Being Tempted and giving in are 2 things. Every single breath can be a temptation, its on us what me make out of it. If you have God you can go into any situation and come without giving in.
If you wanna live perfect and free of Temptation you gotta live in a box with no knives and nothing just a Box. If even that will do the trick

Thanks a lot for giving a thought to my post Demi777. As I said previously, staying with someone is not defiling in itself, however in the case above, the duo are going to be really tempted being around each other. They are not just some sort of research partners with no feelings for each other going about picking up plants. These people have a romantic or sexual attraction towards each other. A question for her would be does her boyfriend live alone or with his parents and siblings? In the first case, oh no it is'nt advisable. For the second, a thought can be given. Remember how Paul warned the Corinthian brethren against immorality. They believed in Jesus but 'the human body is the human body' so one must put it under the Spirit's control. You don't put a fish in water and tell it not to swim. By the way, the idea of a lady who is not ready to get married yet having a boyfriend is strange to scripture. I mean, is it not the dictionary definition of 'boyfriend' I know? I was responding to the question as though they were engaged to be married. If 'boyfriend' in your country has a different meaning that makes it suitable for saints in your country to have boyfriends please help me understand. God bless you. Amen.

 

[dalconn]

If a male and female with healthy hormones live in the same dwelling and have feelings for each other, guess what??

THEY ARE HAVING SEX

...wake up people

 

[seed_time_harvest]

Would I be sinning by living with him? If we're not having sex. I pretty much spend most of my time with him anyway and we've done well in resisting temptation.

Does this mean,there has been no sex?

 

[Sophia95]

Thanks a lot for giving a thought to my post Demi777. As I said previously, staying with someone is not defiling in itself, however in the case above, the duo are going to be really tempted being around each other. They are not just some sort of research partners with no feelings for each other going about picking up plants. These people have a romantic or sexual attraction towards each other. A question for her would be does her boyfriend live alone or with his parents and siblings? In the first case, oh no it is'nt advisable. For the second, a thought can be given. Remember how Paul warned the Corinthian brethren against immorality. They believed in Jesus but 'the human body is the human body' so one must put it under the Spirit's control. You don't put a fish in water and tell it not to swim. By the way, the idea of a lady who is not ready to get married yet having a boyfriend is strange to scripture. I mean, is it not the dictionary definition of 'boyfriend' I know? I was responding to the question as though they were engaged to be married. If 'boyfriend' in your country has a different meaning that makes it suitable for saints in your country to have boyfriends please help me understand. God bless you. Amen.

I'm not ready to get married because Im not at the point where I feel financially stable yet. And when I'm with someone I want to take my time and get to know them properly. I don't jump into relationships easily and definetly won't jump into marriage that quick. Doesn't mean I can't be with someone till we both feel like we can start the married life together. Both our aims for this relationship is marriage we're not just thinking of staying boyfriend/girlfriend forever.

Boyfriend/girlfriend in most countries mean just that.

And actually my main concern at the moment is my relationship with God hence why asking this question because I do want to stay on the right path and I'm greatful for your answers.

I could also say for married couples who don't want children what's the point of getting married and have sex? Because sex is in order for the couple to have children right? Have a family? ...

If I marry I want it to be once. I don't want my marriage to break down due to financial problems or not being able to invest enough time into it because I'm studying and working at the moment.

I don't know if it's to do with this generation but most people my age think the same. Wether in the uk or other countries ( I have friends/family abroad). And from what I've seen those who have rushed into it have pretty much divorced and yes they are Christians.