I can surely relate to the feeling of being trapped. In reality, you are simply unhappy with the choices you have made, and see no way out without disappointing those you believe have expectations of/for you, including yourself. Give yourself a break. I don't mean quit school, though that is also an option, and it is still early in the school year, is it not? You can always pick it up later when you have more of a grasp on where you would like to go with all this. What is your passion? What would you really like to work at? I did not discover that for myself until I was in college. I had dropped out of high school, and also dropped out of college (early in the 2nd year), because I was pretty messed up and lost at your age, without being quite aware of it for myself as you are for your self. Would you lose a lot of money if you were to quit school at this point? Surely that must also be a consideration.
Is it insane to want to go to hell?
- Thread starter laoshanlung
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That's quite a few questions; I'll answer them in order.
1) Yes, it is still early. That is, if 3 weeks in is still considered "early".
2) My passions cannot be translated into a career. I love competitive video games and card games, building computers from scratch, and just about any kind of work that involves animals (except biology work, because hard science is horrible no matter the subject). I would be glad to do animal husbandry for a living, if the wages weren't so unlivable.
3) I would like to learn how to draw and animate cartoons, or voice act. Doing work that culminates in a tangible result is what brings me the greatest level of fulfillment, by far. Unfortunately, I've put all my stock into academics. All I can do is write and do math and literature analysis. Nobody believes that I could create art worth appreciating; I don't believe it either. And besides, it's far too late to change to such a focus now. The art department wouldn't take me as I am, and it would take me years outside of school to become skilled enough to consider making art my career.
4) I would not lose much money if I were to quit school, but I do have a scholarship that grants me 90% of my unmet tuition for four years of schooling. Giving that up would be the equivalent of academic (and possibly professional) suicide, I think. That said, it feels even worse to be floundering about up here at school without making good use of such a tremendous award...
1) Yes, it is still early. That is, if 3 weeks in is still considered "early".
2) My passions cannot be translated into a career. I love competitive video games and card games, building computers from scratch, and just about any kind of work that involves animals (except biology work, because hard science is horrible no matter the subject). I would be glad to do animal husbandry for a living, if the wages weren't so unlivable.
3) I would like to learn how to draw and animate cartoons, or voice act. Doing work that culminates in a tangible result is what brings me the greatest level of fulfillment, by far. Unfortunately, I've put all my stock into academics. All I can do is write and do math and literature analysis. Nobody believes that I could create art worth appreciating; I don't believe it either. And besides, it's far too late to change to such a focus now. The art department wouldn't take me as I am, and it would take me years outside of school to become skilled enough to consider making art my career.
4) I would not lose much money if I were to quit school, but I do have a scholarship that grants me 90% of my unmet tuition for four years of schooling. Giving that up would be the equivalent of academic (and possibly professional) suicide, I think. That said, it feels even worse to be floundering about up here at school without making good use of such a tremendous award...
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Thank you for answering my questions 
Having won such a scholarship, it is obvious you have much potential that others recognize, and no doubt your creative drives and abilities can be put to use in some form regardless of the field you choose. Are there guidance counselors or career advisors at your school who can help you navigate this difficult time?
I was fairly artistically oriented also, but did not believe in my ability to be as good as others, or be able to make a living as an "artist." When I discovered my passion in college, I went after it, and have been working steadily in the field for the last forty two years with no formal training. The same could be said for my daughter. She did very poorly in school, and floundered for a number of years following high school. She was interested in and taught herself the Japanese language in her spare time (she had a lot of that), but could see no career coming of it. After volunteering part time for three years at a cat shelter, she landed a job as a veterinarian assistant, again, with no formal training, where she has been for the last four and a half years. She loves her job, despite her physical limitations which make it quite challenging for her at times.
Don't forget that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. You have no way of knowing how the future may make use of what you are learning in school right now. Kudos to you for reaching out for help, and admitting you have a problem. Some would say that is half the battle won
Having won such a scholarship, it is obvious you have much potential that others recognize, and no doubt your creative drives and abilities can be put to use in some form regardless of the field you choose. Are there guidance counselors or career advisors at your school who can help you navigate this difficult time? I was fairly artistically oriented also, but did not believe in my ability to be as good as others, or be able to make a living as an "artist." When I discovered my passion in college, I went after it, and have been working steadily in the field for the last forty two years with no formal training. The same could be said for my daughter. She did very poorly in school, and floundered for a number of years following high school. She was interested in and taught herself the Japanese language in her spare time (she had a lot of that), but could see no career coming of it. After volunteering part time for three years at a cat shelter, she landed a job as a veterinarian assistant, again, with no formal training, where she has been for the last four and a half years. She loves her job, despite her physical limitations which make it quite challenging for her at times.
Don't forget that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. You have no way of knowing how the future may make use of what you are learning in school right now. Kudos to you for reaching out for help, and admitting you have a problem. Some would say that is half the battle won
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It is not normal for a born-again Christian to sin all of the time because salvation requires repentance of a sinful lifestyle. Yes, Christians still stumble at times an commit a sin but that is not an indication of a serious sin problem but rather a moment of weakness giving in to temptation. At those times just confess your sin so that you can be reconciled with God.
Sanctification is a life-long process and is only made possible by allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your spiritual path. It does not happen immediately once you have confessed your sins to God and accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. It is like it says in the first chapter of Isaiah, "Come now, and let us reason together...line upon line, precept upon precept. A little here, a little there"
Based on your post you may be suffering from unnecessary guilt. Once you have been convicted by the Holy Spirit that you have sinned and then confessed and ask for forgiveness, God does not see you sin anymore but rather sees a soul that is as white as snow.
Anyone that has ever sinned deserves to be eternally separated from God and His justice demands this but the Father gave His only begotten Son to die on the cross for the remission of our sins.
You can and will improve as a person if you have been born-again because that is what sanctification is all about as stated in the bible. Your faith appears weak in this area so I will saw a prayer to the Father for the fog of spiritual apathy to be lifted from you.
You really don't want to go to hell because if that were true you would not have written this post. You are not going to go there either but will spend eternity in the presence of God's love.
Yes, you still stumble and sin. So do I and everyone else. You are not alone in this struggle.
God wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. I have prayed for this for you as well. One day I will be in heaven. I will see you there.
Sanctification is a life-long process and is only made possible by allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your spiritual path. It does not happen immediately once you have confessed your sins to God and accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. It is like it says in the first chapter of Isaiah, "Come now, and let us reason together...line upon line, precept upon precept. A little here, a little there"
Based on your post you may be suffering from unnecessary guilt. Once you have been convicted by the Holy Spirit that you have sinned and then confessed and ask for forgiveness, God does not see you sin anymore but rather sees a soul that is as white as snow.
Anyone that has ever sinned deserves to be eternally separated from God and His justice demands this but the Father gave His only begotten Son to die on the cross for the remission of our sins.
You can and will improve as a person if you have been born-again because that is what sanctification is all about as stated in the bible. Your faith appears weak in this area so I will saw a prayer to the Father for the fog of spiritual apathy to be lifted from you.
You really don't want to go to hell because if that were true you would not have written this post. You are not going to go there either but will spend eternity in the presence of God's love.
Yes, you still stumble and sin. So do I and everyone else. You are not alone in this struggle.
God wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. I have prayed for this for you as well. One day I will be in heaven. I will see you there.
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C
You're practically me. That being said, I only have 1 thing keeping me alive. It's a cat. And I hate myself. And my life. 😐
If other people are miserable, I don't want to be happy. If other people have to go to Hell because they didn't know Christ, then I don't want to go to Heaven. That's how I feel.
Thank you so much for this thread. I feel so much less alone in life. Takes an edge off of the agony that I feel every single day. 🙏💟
If other people are miserable, I don't want to be happy. If other people have to go to Hell because they didn't know Christ, then I don't want to go to Heaven. That's how I feel.
Thank you so much for this thread. I feel so much less alone in life. Takes an edge off of the agony that I feel every single day. 🙏💟
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