Pre Marital Sex

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loveandpeace99

Guest
#1
#1
My girlfriend and I are Christian. She wants to have sex really badly before marriage and says we are practically married already. Although she has told me she's okay with waiting, is it wrong to have pre marital sex with your partner and getting married later? Because I love her a lot, its eternal love.
 
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Colt45Bullet

Guest
#2
#2
It is wrong. Practically married, and actually married are two very, very different things. You will regret it if you do it before you put that ring on and say your vows.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#3
#3
Yes. Period. The End. It is wrong.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
'Planning on getting married' is still not married. It's a really black or white issue. Not married = no sex, regardless of plans or intentions.
Though you have to be cautious. If your 'Christian' girlfriend really wants to have sex before marriage, then that is a red flag. And i'm not sure what 'practically married' entails with you, but usually when people say that it's also another bad sign.
 
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loveandpeace99

Guest
#5
#5
Thanks everyone.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#6
Mar 13, 2014
41,319
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#6
loveandpeace99 said:
My girlfriend and I are Christian. She wants to have sex really badly before marriage and says we are practically married already. Although she has told me she's okay with waiting, is it wrong to have pre marital sex with your partner and getting married later? Because I love her a lot, its eternal love.
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It is wrong and I strongly advise against it. You know it's wrong too so do the right thing for you and her and wait until you're married.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#7
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
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#7
I'd be mostly concerned that she's pressuring you to violate your conscience. Like others have said, possible red flag.

Now if it's true love and I'm overreacting, my advice would be to just kick it over to the court house, have a small ceremony with a couple of witnesses, and be done with it.
 
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loveandpeace99

Guest
#8
#8
Thanks for the advice guys. :)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#9
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#9
There is no such thing as "practically married". You either are, or you're not. There's no middle ground. Sorry but she's using trying to use you for sex. :/ And if she's trying to get you to violate your conscience and principles, then what other bad stuff is she capable of doing?
 
chootchooot

chootchooot

Senior Member
#10
Apr 23, 2012
223
7
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#10
loveandpeace99 said:
My girlfriend and I are Christian. She wants to have sex really badly before marriage and says we are practically married already. Although she has told me she's okay with waiting, is it wrong to have pre marital sex with your partner and getting married later? Because I love her a lot, its eternal love.
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If you love her a lot and know she is the one maybe Elope and get married?
 
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Ugly

Guest
#11
#11
chootchooot said:
If you love her a lot and know she is the one maybe Elope and get married?
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So this woman who is pushing for pre-marital sex is someone he should just rush off and marry? Hmm...
 
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Depleted

Guest
#12
#12
loveandpeace99 said:
My girlfriend and I are Christian. She wants to have sex really badly before marriage and says we are practically married already. Although she has told me she's okay with waiting, is it wrong to have pre marital sex with your partner and getting married later? Because I love her a lot, its eternal love.
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Who is doing the submitting in this relationship? And who is the mantle of protection? Scary you have to ask, particularly since you know the answer.

How are you "practically married?" Isn't that like "practically pregnant?" You are or you aren't.

Read 1 Cor. 7, (and why don't you know 1 Cor. 7, if the two of you are supposedly Christians?)

You both seem unprepared for the commitment of marriage.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#13
#13
I am a little unclear on the verses that forbid it; the ones I am aware of that people quote most often tend to be a bit ambiguous from one translation to another.

That said, I'm just going to leave it at "go with your gut." If you genuinely feel convicted to wait, then wait, especially if she says she's willing to acquiesce (and especially if she professes the same standard for her convictions as you do).
 
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Depleted

Guest
#14
#14
Siberian_Khatru said:
I am a little unclear on the verses that forbid it; the ones I am aware of that people quote most often tend to be a bit ambiguous from one translation to another.

That said, I'm just going to leave it at "go with your gut." If you genuinely feel convicted to wait, then wait, especially if she says she's willing to acquiesce (and especially if she professes the same standard for her convictions as you do).
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The chapter is 1 Cor. 7. It's clear, not unclear.
 
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loveandpeace99

Guest
#16
#16
It`s alright now, we agreed to wait until marriage. She's not a bad person, no one is perfect. She's not using me for sex. She's a good Christian girl who just wants to show love. But it goes against our conscience. She's understanding and agreed that what she asked for was wrong. And by practically married, she was referring to our deep intense love. Thanks everyone
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#17
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
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#17
loveandpeace99 said:
My girlfriend and I are Christian. She wants to have sex really badly before marriage and says we are practically married already. Although she has told me she's okay with waiting, is it wrong to have pre marital sex with your partner and getting married later? Because I love her a lot, its eternal love.
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If you two love each other a lot and plan to marry, then why wait to get married?
 
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Ultimatum77

Guest
#18
#18
Agree with all the posts above....esp Ugly and Deschichado, you may want to wait about marrying this girl if she's asking you these kinds of things before marrying.....find out about her true character etc....

Also, I second Deschichado's advice about the courthouse/city giving you a marriage license....it's way faster (if you can't wait) and also it's been shown in economic studies that both marriages and funerals are the most expensive one time expenses that people pay out (with no roi btw)...it may be more economical to do the courthouse thing as well ;) Before anyone gets mad I'm Just keeping it real people, not everyone has 5-10 grand just lying around to be blown for a one time event....it's smarter these days to go the courthouse and have a small ceremony rather than some large palooza event filled with people you probably don't interact with except maybe every 10 years if lucky :p

It makes more sense to save that money as an investment in a house or start out couple budget rather than being both broke from a "great" wedding but eating beans for a year to pay it off. Just some helpful advice ;)

Plenty of articles online: But here is one that is good to show you I'm telling the truth:

What Does The Average Wedding Now Cost? More Than A College Education And Funeral Combined.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#19
Mar 13, 2014
41,319
16,304
113
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Tennessee
#19
Ultimatum77 said:
Agree with all the posts above....esp Ugly and Deschichado, you may want to wait about marrying this girl if she's asking you these kinds of things before marrying.....find out about her true character etc....

Also, I second Deschichado's advice about the courthouse/city giving you a marriage license....it's way faster (if you can't wait) and also it's been shown in economic studies that both marriages and funerals are the most expensive one time expenses that people pay out (with no roi btw)...it may be more economical to do the courthouse thing as well ;) Before anyone gets mad I'm Just keeping it real people, not everyone has 5-10 grand just lying around to be blown for a one time event....it's smarter these days to go the courthouse and have a small ceremony rather than some large palooza event filled with people you probably don't interact with except maybe every 10 years if lucky :p

It makes more sense to save that money as an investment in a house or start out couple budget rather than being both broke from a "great" wedding but eating beans for a year to pay it off. Just some helpful advice ;)

Plenty of articles online: But here is one that is good to show you I'm telling the truth:

What Does The Average Wedding Now Cost? More Than A College Education And Funeral Combined.
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My wife and I had an inexpensive elopement in Las Vegas. She called beforehand to get a local minister in the area to agree to perform the ceremony, on Thanksgiving Day 2014 no less. She got a good deal on the hotel and the plane tickets were not that expensive either. We even made a few dollars on the slots and roulette to further defray the cost. The Hilton threw in the Thanksgiving meal free of charge because we got married in the hotel. A bellhop and our maid were the witnesses. That's the way we roll 'em. I wanted Elvis to be one of the witnesses but she didn't go for that. "Love me tender...".
 
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Ultimatum77

Guest
#20
#20
tourist said:
My wife and I had an inexpensive elopement in Las Vegas. She called beforehand to get a local minister in the area to agree to perform the ceremony, on Thanksgiving Day 2014 no less. She got a good deal on the hotel and the plane tickets were not that expensive either. We even made a few dollars on the slots and roulette to further defray the cost. The Hilton threw in the Thanksgiving meal free of charge because we got married in the hotel. A bellhop and our maid were the witnesses. That's the way we roll 'em. I wanted Elvis to be one of the witnesses but she didn't go for that. "Love me tender...".
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That's pretty epic....but hey it works! :) And that's how tourist rolls man! Makes a lot of sense financially as well!
 
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