Unpatience, fear of attachment, jealous and sucidial?

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Jakob

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
298
4
18
#1
For some years now, I have tired myself out..
I get inpatience for waiting for love-and I find someone who i get a crush on, like meeting online, online dating.
I get addicted to that one person, texting, all day is mostly thinking about that one person.
Been talking to this girl for 2 months now online, she lives in Canada- we used to be online friends 6 years ago.
I enjoy talking to her. But I have hard time with thoughts sometimes, she is very open and speaks about how she uses tinder and last guy she slept with was from there, and how she did sexual stuff to another guy in a cinema and abonded places at the mall. I know its not very healthy, but I get jealous cause I feel like I am missing out. It makes me like suicidal not gonna lie (i would never do anyting) but I get very depressed thoughts "what is the point"

What i try to say is, I get feelings too fast when I talk to people on phone, even though I havent met them yet.
I have fear of abondment, and attachment, so meanwhile that I text this girl-thinking about her, I just stay in my room all day, and dont see anyone, dont meet new people, dont go anywhere.
maybe I just wanted this off my chest, cause I feel it suffocating me. so im sorry i'm stuck in my teenage years being 22.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
63,434
2,110
113
#2
My question is, WHY do you even want anything to do with her, when she clearly isn't an faithful person, and glories in broadcasting her sexual escapades? She's a hussy and probably always will be. You do NOT want any part of someone like that, Jakob. You'll only be asking for more heartache..

Trust me, you're NOT missing out on anything. She obviously sleeps around. Drop her like a hot potato..
 

RickWman

Junior Member
Oct 16, 2017
9
0
0
#3
Sorry you are experiencing this. Seems like you'd be better to find a local girl vs. a long distance one. Involve yourself with productive things, ie. school, work, church, volunteering. Get the focus off of you onto someone else. Don't entertain thoughts of missing out or going down a path that you know is wrong for you that will only bring you more grief. Be around others that share a different path, that can love you, build you up and give you good examples to follow. I'll stand with you that you will make wise decisions that leads you to a bright future. And you'll discover a girl that you can share this future with.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
539
31
28
18
#4
For some years now, I have tired myself out..
I get inpatience for waiting for love-and I find someone who i get a crush on, like meeting online, online dating.
I get addicted to that one person, texting, all day is mostly thinking about that one person.
Been talking to this girl for 2 months now online, she lives in Canada- we used to be online friends 6 years ago.
I enjoy talking to her. But I have hard time with thoughts sometimes, she is very open and speaks about how she uses tinder and last guy she slept with was from there, and how she did sexual stuff to another guy in a cinema and abonded places at the mall. I know its not very healthy, but I get jealous cause I feel like I am missing out. It makes me like suicidal not gonna lie (i would never do anyting) but I get very depressed thoughts "what is the point"

What i try to say is, I get feelings too fast when I talk to people on phone, even though I havent met them yet.
I have fear of abondment, and attachment, so meanwhile that I text this girl-thinking about her, I just stay in my room all day, and dont see anyone, dont meet new people, dont go anywhere.
maybe I just wanted this off my chest, cause I feel it suffocating me. so im sorry i'm stuck in my teenage years being 22.
You can't be with her fam she's not Christian or at least not mature and that's gonna hurt you don't be unequally yoked so that's the first thing, second yea maybe you're just not ready to be in a real relationship/ marriage yet maybe you need to work on yourself and please PLEASE don't stay with this girl man, and don't make her an idle you'll end up somewhere you'll regret yiu can't hold fire next to your chest without getting burned fam God bless
 

MillaJo

Junior Member
Mar 18, 2018
29
0
1
#5
First of all, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Second of all, drop her. I know it's easier said than done, but it will be best for you. I know that others in this thread are telling you that you would be better off with a local girl/christian girl, but I think that even before you even begin to think about that, start working on yourself. It doesn't sound like to me that you love yourself and that you live for others. Learn to love yourself, seek counselling either with a psychiatrist or your church if you must. But this type of thinking is very unhealthy- you deserve more for YOURSELF. Take it from someone who suffers from mental illness.
 

MillaJo

Junior Member
Mar 18, 2018
29
0
1
#6
And hey, I'm stuck in my teenage years, too, and I'm 23. If you need a friend, I'm here. :)
 

Mel85

Senior Member
Mar 28, 2018
4,301
1,632
113
#7
Praying for you bro :)
 

pam4him

Junior Member
Jan 10, 2017
20
1
3
#8
Jakob, you are not alone. Most people long for relationships, it's in our nature. It kind of sounds like your fear of abandonment is creating over-attachment to any one who will listen/respond. Might I suggest you consider "finding yourself" as as adult? Possibly take some time to discover your true likes, dislikes, what you would like from a relationship, etc. Consider what you take joy in, what things relax you, make you happy, etc. Instead of focusing on the fear of being abandoned, try turning it around to not abandoning your true self. Contentment and being comfortable with ourselves comes from within, not from others. Enjoy the conversations and allow the relationships to unfold naturally. Unfortunately, most forced relationships have issues. Try to relax and you'll know when you truly click with someone. Prayers for peace for you.
 

stillness

Senior Member
Jan 28, 2013
720
18
18
63
#9
Consider that Patience is a fruit of the Spirit: from dwelling in God. "He is near to everyone of us: in Him we live and move and have our being." The lack of patience along with depression from bad to worse, is from seeking comfort where there is none: apart from Him. But don't feel bad we have all been there, that is what sin is, "whatever is not of Faith is sin," seeking in creature what is found in God: to grow in Love. If we seek to save a life for ourselves we will lose it, apart from Him. We are slow learners, don't forget that our blame is taken away at the cross, your free to get up and go on and be thankful. We enter His presence "with thanksgiving." About 7 years ago the Lord told me: Be thankful for what you have. Ended up in tears, telling Him: Lord tell me what I have, so I can be thankful for it (was homeless at the time). He said: You have a relationship with Me We are as close to Him as we desire to be, I still have trouble desiring elsewhere, recently He encouraged me to trust in Him to overcome.
 

jameen

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2018
418
73
28
31
Manila
#10
If you will find a romantic partner, make sure that she likes to hear and live by the Words of God in the Bible.

Being promiscuous according to Apostle Paul in Romans chapter 1 means He does not have God in his/her knowledge (1:28)

It means he is disobedient of God's law.

You will have a sexual disease if you have a promiscuous life.