My Filipino christian wife wants a divorce and will not giving me a second chance

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hon2294

Senior Member
Feb 7, 2013
200
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#21
brother, fast and pray for it... and believe God will do great things.
we'll be praying for you..
 

mystikmind

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2015
521
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#22
brother, fast and pray for it... and believe God will do great things.
we'll be praying for you..
I do feel an inner strength and confidence, part of that must be due to prayer i think! Anyway, what is important is that i realize there are certain things about my situation that i cannot change by worrying about it and entertaining negative thoughts.

The situation is what it is, i accept that, i will leave it in the hands of higher powers, God first of all, then the expert family mediators and if necessary, the family court.

The only choice i have available to me at the moment is the choice not to make the situation worse! And let me just say, this advice is pure gold to any parents that find themselves in my situation!!
 

amyamor

Junior Member
Apr 2, 2015
13
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#23
My Dear Friend mystikmind.....

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. ​
Romans 8:28
 
N

Nemakiza

Guest
#24
We have not done any marriage counseling at all, Christian or otherwise. We did 'go' to marriage counseling but my wife told them she is 100% not interested to save the marriage, so it turned into how to break up counseling.

Maybe you hurt her so much that is why she wants divorce. She does not think you have change and according to your story it seems things have fallen apart. I have one advice for you, it may be helpful though I am not sure if it will work at your case.

1. Mend your behaviors

2. Prove to her you have change by actions. For example, keep your house clean, ignore stereotyping that men don't do house works.

3. Start to buy her what she wanted, including sending her romantic messages that you love her, remind her of the old times.

4. Prove to her she is what you want and desire in your life. Did not Amber Rose proves that she want her hubby back despite of their differences?

5. Don't file back papers for divorce until you have done what I recommended above

6. Sign the papers to divorce her, this will help you to know if she will want to proceed with divorce dramas.


Make sure you make her fall in your proposal. Women hearts are so fragile, if you do this she will want you back even if wrong friends advised her. You don't need marriage counseling your case is very simple.

I wish you all the best.:)
 

mystikmind

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2015
521
0
0
#25
Maybe you hurt her so much that is why she wants divorce. She does not think you have change and according to your story it seems things have fallen apart. I have one advice for you, it may be helpful though I am not sure if it will work at your case.

1. Mend your behaviors

2. Prove to her you have change by actions. For example, keep your house clean, ignore stereotyping that men don't do house works.

3. Start to buy her what she wanted, including sending her romantic messages that you love her, remind her of the old times.

4. Prove to her she is what you want and desire in your life. Did not Amber Rose proves that she want her hubby back despite of their differences?

5. Don't file back papers for divorce until you have done what I recommended above

6. Sign the papers to divorce her, this will help you to know if she will want to proceed with divorce dramas.


Make sure you make her fall in your proposal. Women hearts are so fragile, if you do this she will want you back even if wrong friends advised her. You don't need marriage counseling your case is very simple.

I wish you all the best.:)
Thank you for your kind words.

Point 1 and 2, well i am living by myself and i am doing all these things myself, and i have mended my behavior, dramatically! And i feel powerful, happy and courageous in my life, but I'm not doing it for my ex i am doing it for myself and for my daughter.

3. She forbid that behavior, and after a while i finally understood the marriage is over and i have worked very hard to heal my heart and get on with my life, of course i still care about her but i do not want her back, even if she asked me too.

4. Well, no, she is not the person i desire in my life. Yes i did have a strong desire to try to work things out, and possibly with allot of work we could have been desirable to each other again, but she refused that option, she has not been someone i desire in my life, not for at least the last 2 and a half years. I am really so much happier in my life with her not in it.

5. My strong desire is for the divorce to be finalized and over with as soon as possible so i can get on with my life.

6. She wants to proceed, i have no doubts, but even if she changed her mind, my feeling is that she has already succeeded in destroying the marriage, it is done, and the paperwork is just paperwork, if she dousn't sign it, i will!

I wish her all the best and i hope she finds the happiness with someone else that she could not find with me.
 
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Nemakiza

Guest
#26
Thank you for your kind words.

Point 1 and 2, well i am living by myself and i am doing all these things myself, and i have mended my behavior, dramatically! And i feel powerful, happy and courageous in my life, but I'm not doing it for my ex i am doing it for myself and for my daughter.

3. She forbid that behavior, and after a while i finally understood the marriage is over and i have worked very hard to heal my heart and get on with my life, of course i still care about her but i do not want her back, even if she asked me too.

4. Well, no, she is not the person i desire in my life. Yes i did have a strong desire to try to work things out, and possibly with allot of work we could have been desirable to each other again, but she refused that option, she has not been someone i desire in my life, not for at least the last 2 and a half years. I am really so much happier in my life with her not in it.

5. My strong desire is for the divorce to be finalized and over with as soon as possible so i can get on with my life.

6. She wants to proceed, i have no doubts, but even if she changed her mind, my feeling is that she has already succeeded in destroying the marriage, it is done, and the paperwork is just paperwork, if she dousn't sign it, i will!

I wish her all the best and i hope she finds the happiness with someone else that she could not find with me.

It seems you also got hurt with her words. I understand how human can be cruel at sometimes, speaks word that can't be forgotten. Well, you are a Christian, you took oath before God not for your wife, your contract is with God not your wife, this is my view, because Jesus had told us about marriage things, they are so difficulty, he wants us to be careful who are we going to live with, remember 1 Cor 13.

I hope if you try to open your heart for her you will see how your marriage will nourish again. Are you ready to live single? not to marry again? If you are a Christian you won't live with the view of the world, that is get your divorce and marry again, I don't advise you this, you better stay pure with God than the world's view.

I don't know how to figure her behavior, but according to your story, she displayed the behaviors of most women'
behaviors. Try to forgive her and pray hard for her, you guys have already joined as one with God himself so consider her as your own momma, sister, best friend who has broken your heart many times.

Don't say you don't desire her, when you stand before God you probably said you Love her with your whole heart, what now are you doing? don't you see you are displaying your pride? remember Jesus' word about marriage, things God has joined no one can separate. If you let him strengthen you in this one, you will see the results but only if you don't desire divorce.

I am still praying for you because I hate divorce, but for my view before you divorce someone try to mend things first and later proceed with divorce dramas. I hope even you will never want it to happen, once if your marriage blossom again. Pride always put our life in danger, I remember of my own dad's pride. Pride is the work of devil, it makes us feel we are legal to everything and forget the other people needs. Your child will never like it even if the world now lives in this situation.

I am wishing you all the best, please try to think what best can be done, divorce is not a good option. I will post a thread about divorce, don't miss to check it.
 

Elysian

Senior Member
Apr 24, 2015
201
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#27
Why do you say, ''lets not judge anyone?'.
This woman has admitted her reasons for leaving her husband
and they are selfish!
 
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Nemakiza

Guest
#28
She has never cheated him, that is what the story said, so to work on this marriage makes sense to me.
 
Apr 30, 2015
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#29
I dont know why your wife act like this,but honeslty as a christian filipino and married but now separrated because of my husband said,we pilipina are loving,caring,undertsanding,faitnful,submissive and sometimes if we love a person to much we are didecated to fight mostly if its christian.we dont have divorce in philippines but juts annullement because our countyr is family oriented our country value family closeness and tightness that we have extended family.once we get married we value our relationship,it takes alot of year before you will get annulled because our goverment want to save marriage mostly if this there kids involved. Thats why when you going get married here you will have counsel how to raise family..I dont knwo what you been done to hurt her but if nothing that you cause why he divorce you as a pilipina i ask for apology of your wife action towards to you.and i pray that God will soften your wife heart to forgive and to have a godly family.be blessed and God bless.
 
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mystikmind

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2015
521
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#30
Thanks to all for kind words.

I have gone through all the deep emotions, the pain, the hurt, the betrayal, all the rest of it and i have come out the other side stronger and happier. I have listened to what my ex wanted and i have accepted the marriage is over and i have moved on already. It is not pride or revenge or anything like that, it is just me accepting reality and not staying in that dark place of hoping in vain.

I know that God can work wonders to save marriages, but i also know that God will not circumvent a persons free will, and my ex has chosen her path, i accept that choice, i consider the marriage to be over. And i know i am ok, and i am happy and i am getting on with my life and i do not want to go back to what is in the past, because i look to the future now :)

I think it is important for me to dedicate myself to the path that i am on, and that is why i do not want my ex back even if the opportunity presented itself, i do not think that kind of confusion will be at all healthy for either of us.

I have gained allot of encouragement and help from people on this site over the past couple of months, and i often check back here to find more kind people posting here, thank you all.
 

jer2911

Senior Member
Jun 4, 2014
766
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#32
Yes divorce is very destructive. Before i found this site i was looking for a men's support forum for men going through divorce. I found one, i get tears in my eyes just thinking about it, what i found there deeply shocked me, such pain and such darkness and such anger,,,,, sigh, i knew straight away i do not belong there, i thank God i am not there. Sometimes it is easy to forget how much pain and suffering there is in the world, happening all the time, all around us, and meanwhile God is witness to all of it, makes me feel ashamed to be a human being.

I always think of myself as not a good person, and how can i be a good person when my wife is divorcing me? Then i remember those men on the forum, and i remember all the other things going on in other relationships, even my own sister's marriage, and as much as my heart goes out to all those men, i feel relieved that i am not like them. Perhaps i am not such a bad person after all?
Honestly, my heart goes for both of you. In love, the age, status, culture and nationality they don't matter much. Perfect love drives out fear. And we all fall short in God's glory. It's not your being bad because you got divorce. Her choice and dcision of not staying with you has nothing to do with your being her ideal husband. Detached yourself from her actions. We all do silly actions when we forgotten our furst love. She forgotten you, the love of her life, and her first love, JESUS. (And perhaps you do as well.) Good that you're working out your rel. with God. My prayer is for both of you and your daughter. :) God still gives you hope and a future. Jer29:11. (Even this hard to swallow. :))
 
Dec 14, 2016
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#33
aww this hit me, my bf calls me the light of his life aswell. although we are having problems right now, gosh i do love him with all my heart and will never ever leave unless he decides to go. but will always pray that God will strengthen us. Praying for your wife sir that she will somehow realize that marriage is sacred and that she also needs to adjust because she is doing wrong things to you. do not blame urself u are not completely the one to blame. my advice is to somehow get those fire burning, how did ur romance started? do the same thing, dont ask her just court her and pray continually. Don't disrespect yourself, you have been a good christian an. I hope she will draw closer to God .
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,679
638
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#34
aww this hit me, my bf calls me the light of his life aswell. although we are having problems right now, gosh i do love him with all my heart and will never ever leave unless he decides to go. but will always pray that God will strengthen us. Praying for your wife sir that she will somehow realize that marriage is sacred and that she also needs to adjust because she is doing wrong things to you. do not blame urself u are not completely the one to blame. my advice is to somehow get those fire burning, how did ur romance started? do the same thing, dont ask her just court her and pray continually. Don't disrespect yourself, you have been a good christian an. I hope she will draw closer to God .
Thread is a year old. OP hasn't logged into the site in nearly a year. Please notice the dates of threads before responding to them.
 

wanderer6059

Senior Member
Oct 27, 2013
1,282
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#35
So what I get out of this is you are an older guy who never learned to do chores or basic things around the house or really just lift a finger to do much of anything and married a hot young phillipino in hopes of lots of sex.

You got a cold and you couldn't unpack a suitcase? You don't see how from what you've told us that any human being would be miserable living with you?

Heck if i was your roomate you would piss me off with what seems like a general lack of responsibility.

I can see how some of the responses side with you and lay the blame on her but from what I see you just were never really marriage material in the first place.

You could try praying and counseling , but I think mostly you need to just learn basic life skills. Otherwise you are just asking a woman to come back into your life as mom to a daughter and you..
get your trashy troll comment out of here.... you think any one should be talked to like you just did?
 
Dec 16, 2012
1,462
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#36
aww this hit me, my bf calls me the light of his life aswell. although we are having problems right now, gosh i do love him with all my heart and will never ever leave unless he decides to go. but will always pray that God will strengthen us. Praying for your wife sir that she will somehow realize that marriage is sacred and that she also needs to adjust because she is doing wrong things to you. do not blame urself u are not completely the one to blame. my advice is to somehow get those fire burning, how did ur romance started? do the same thing, dont ask her just court her and pray continually. Don't disrespect yourself, you have been a good christian an. I hope she will draw closer to God .

Great advice. Keep posting irrespective of dates, great contributions like this can assist so many!
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,679
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#38
Too big of a coward to confront me face to face. As if the opinion of a coward matters to me. Next time keep your cowardice to yourself or grow a pair and say it to my face and save your weakness for others.
Not to mention neither are you a mod, but are now a hypocrite. Congratulations on having weak character.
 

tjogs

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2009
287
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#40
does that make prinsesslove23 the troll....

and she got me...............
Think you mixed her and djness to each other.

Anyways im married with philippina and know what it brings. The OP's description don't really fit what I have felt and seen as marriage with them. God fearing philippina wife is among the best things that can happen to a man (my own opinion). It just requires man to be good and mature enough to realize and appreciate the blessing he haves.
Though, black sheeps are everywhere and it makes me to think could the wife of OP be like that.