Guys + Commitment = 'uhm...where did he go?'

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arwen83

Guest
#1
#1
Are guys afraid of commitment? Whether be a 'serious relationship', saying the DREADED 'L word', or taking the step towards a proposal? Or is this just a stereotype, and girls can be equally afraid of commiting? I am going to go with the hunch that this is more of an issue among men than women, what are some factors that play into this fear? Do you think that this fear contributes at all to your current relationship status?

Guys: did you have this fear before entering to a serious relationship? How did you over come it?
Girls: any experiences with this?

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T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#2
Mar 24, 2013
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#2
According to a new study, 70 per cent of the time it is men who are the first to say 'I love you'
The research conducted at the MIT Sloan School of Management in Cambridge, Massachusetts, studied people aged from their mid-twenties to their sixties




Boom...

oh by the way,,,

​FIRST!
 
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Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Stereotype. I would love to be in a committed relationship or married. I have no problem using the 'L' word. Or anything else.
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#4
Mar 24, 2013
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#4
T_Laurich said:
According to a new study, 70 per cent of the time it is men who are the first to say 'I love you'
The research conducted at the MIT Sloan School of Management in Cambridge, Massachusetts, studied people aged from their mid-twenties to their sixties
Click to expand...
Ugly said:
Stereotype. I would love to be in a committed relationship or married. I have no problem using the 'L' word. Or anything else.
Click to expand...
SEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is you women who are causing the problem and then going... If only men...
 
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arwen83

Guest
#5
#5
Hmm interesting! Maybe I should have made this into a poll thread.

Nice generalization T :p
 
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arwen83

Guest
#6
#6
I wonder if Christianity plays a factor into this? Christian guys more likely to commit? Or a maturity thing? Just thinking out loud....
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#7
Mar 24, 2013
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#7
Cough... Cough... :eek:

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arwen83

Guest
#8
#8
Anywho.....
 
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kayem77

Guest
#9
#9
I've never said the ''L word'' to anyone 'cause I've never been in a relationship. Do I fear commitment? yes, I fear getting commited to the wrong person.
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#10
Mar 24, 2013
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#10
And my point keeps proving itself.... :D


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MUHAHAHAHHAHAAHHA
 
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arwen83

Guest
#11
#11
Yes T, you win. Your point has been made. Glad you edited your post about women being evil, we've had enough woman bashing in the forums lately. People are getting sick and tired of it.
 
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FireWire

Guest
#12
#12
It's a fear of being committed to the wrong person. After all you have to have a person to be committed to or direct that commitment towards. If one can't find the right person then commitment doesn't apply.

As for me all bets are off a long time ago.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#13
#13
Being a mature Christian would definitely help in the commitment stakes. But as I have no relationship history, I don't know personally how difficult it is to commit. I certainly feel that if I loved someone, they would know it. Trust and honesty would be key to the relationship. Also, lots of hugs and prayer.

arwen83 said:
I wonder if Christianity plays a factor into this? Christian guys more likely to commit? Or a maturity thing? Just thinking out loud....
Click to expand...
 
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F

FireWire

Guest
#14
#14
I'll be honest and say I fear getting into a relationship and fully committing not that it is likely to ever happen.

It takes two fully committed to each other. If one isn't committed there is no point in the other party being committed either.

Imagine if the gearbox decided to drop it's commitment with the engine. That car ain't going anywhere!!
 
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Ugly

Guest
#15
#15
arwen83 said:
I wonder if Christianity plays a factor into this? Christian guys more likely to commit? Or a maturity thing? Just thinking out loud....
Click to expand...
I've wanted to be married even as a kid. Before i was a Christian, even.
 
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kayem77

Guest
#16
#16
I think commitment comes naturally as a relationship grows. First you are friends, you have the commitment to be loyal as a friend. Then you are ''dating'' or whatever you call it, and you have the commitment to be exclusive and reciprocate his actions and romantic feelings. Then you get married, and you have the commitment to be together until death do you part, sacrificially serving your spouse.

I think the problem comes when someone fails to discern the stage of commitment they're on. They can still think of themselves as friends when the other person thinks they are ''dating''. I've seen this problem with both men and women, maybe more often in women in my experience.
 
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FireWire

Guest
#17
#17
I have no problem committing to getting to work on time :D

Doing the dishes is another story lol

I believe when you marry and the minister completes the ceremony then commitment is sealed. If it's broken there are consequences. You can't really say one is committed till then because one or both parties can back out at any time.

Even at the altar one can back down and say no.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#18
#18
kayem77 said:
I think commitment comes naturally as a relationship grows. First you are friends, you have the commitment to be loyal as a friend. Then you are ''dating'' or whatever you call it, and you have the commitment to be exclusive and reciprocate his actions and romantic feelings. Then you get married, and you have the commitment to be together until death do you part, sacrificially serving your spouse.

I think the problem comes when someone fails to discern the stage of commitment they're on. They can still think of themselves as friends when the other person thinks they are ''dating''. I've seen this problem with both men and women, maybe more often in women in my experience.
Click to expand...
This could be the case at times, but some people do just generally fear the commitment. This is why some people, usually men, but not always, pass out on their wedding day. The day of commitment has arrived and it panics them.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#19
Aug 2, 2009
24,598
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#19
This song says it all. :p

Hot n Cold - Katy Perry
[video=youtube;kTHNpusq654]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTHNpusq654[/video]
 
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psychomom

Guest
#20
#20
just spitballing here...but do you think it's possible the word commitment has become more scary as time has passed?

My parents generation (adults in the early 1950s) married their high school and college sweethearts, and took it as a matter of course. There was no fear of commitment, it was just something everyone did. Go to school, grow up, get married, have a family was the pattern.

My generation (hippies...sigh) had a bit more trouble with it, yet we managed to get married, and though too many didn't stay married, we weren't in our 30s before it happened.

My (one year) newlywed 29 yo daughter said this to me, and it stuck:
"Mom, don't you know that kids are encouraged to be adolescents well into their 30s nowadays?"

I'm not talking about you wonderful Christian people.
But would you say my daughter's right about that? (society in general)
Cos that would be a commitment issue, based on (im)maturity?
 
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