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I didn't have a thread about me, and I didn't care, I don't want one. But THIS thread has made me feel awful. I understand that there are those who would rather not have had one made or think it's a good idea to publicly compliment people, however I was one that participated and enjoyed doing so. What I wrote was sincere and I feel like I'm being told I wasn't.
I don't want to discuss this further and this is the last I will post on this issue.
I don't want to discuss this further and this is the last I will post on this issue.
This post made me feel sad. I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad about writing something encouraging to or for someone else that is from the heart. I don't think any of us are lemmings following the sound of a can opener (in reference to SeatBelt's illustration), but that's just me. Actually, I'd say I'm more of a ferret than a lemming. 
This thread was on my mind all morning at church. Being someone who has written a few threads as well during my time on CC, I've come to realize you just can't win. The last time I complimented someone, another poster ripped my head off, and ironically, I had complimented this same poster that lashed out at me at another time as well. So I opted not to answer any of the threads dedicated to specific users because I figured someone was bound to get upset about it.
When writing polls especially, I've often gotten feedback such as, "Your poll answers SHOULD have been..." or "You SHOULD have written..." or a downright gleeful "Seoul is going to get an infraction for this..." (for the user who was helpful enough to point that out... I never did get an infraction for it, but thank you anyway.)
I try to use others' opinions to improve ideas for the next thread. And I do want to respectfully suggest one thing for anyone offering helpful hints--show us how it should be done, and I'm sincere about that. I've asked people who told me I "should have" done something this way or that way to please write a poll, thread, etc. that includes all of their improvements so I can see an example of how it "should" have been approached. Ironically... they never have, and I really wish they would, because we all want to see something better, and I learn best by example rather than lists of regulations.
SeatBelt would be an awesome candidate to start some threads with positive vibes, seeing as he's thoughtful, insightful, and extremely articulate. I'm hoping I can count on him to be someone who will follow through and show us his ideas for how to improve the atmosphere here with some real live examples.
It's easy to tear something down. Anyone can do it, and I've gotten to the point where I don't pay much attention to the wreckers.
I'm more interested in the one who, after making polite suggestions, can actually build something better.
This thread was on my mind all morning at church. Being someone who has written a few threads as well during my time on CC, I've come to realize you just can't win. The last time I complimented someone, another poster ripped my head off, and ironically, I had complimented this same poster that lashed out at me at another time as well. So I opted not to answer any of the threads dedicated to specific users because I figured someone was bound to get upset about it.
When writing polls especially, I've often gotten feedback such as, "Your poll answers SHOULD have been..." or "You SHOULD have written..." or a downright gleeful "Seoul is going to get an infraction for this..." (for the user who was helpful enough to point that out... I never did get an infraction for it, but thank you anyway.)
I try to use others' opinions to improve ideas for the next thread. And I do want to respectfully suggest one thing for anyone offering helpful hints--show us how it should be done, and I'm sincere about that. I've asked people who told me I "should have" done something this way or that way to please write a poll, thread, etc. that includes all of their improvements so I can see an example of how it "should" have been approached. Ironically... they never have, and I really wish they would, because we all want to see something better, and I learn best by example rather than lists of regulations.
SeatBelt would be an awesome candidate to start some threads with positive vibes, seeing as he's thoughtful, insightful, and extremely articulate. I'm hoping I can count on him to be someone who will follow through and show us his ideas for how to improve the atmosphere here with some real live examples.
It's easy to tear something down. Anyone can do it, and I've gotten to the point where I don't pay much attention to the wreckers.
I'm more interested in the one who, after making polite suggestions, can actually build something better.
This is strange.
People are people. Some people are silly. Some are stern. Some are magic. Some are quietly confident. Some are afraid. Some take risks.
I really don't understand this whole commentary on someone else. It's alien to me.
Every person is responsible for their own actions and reactions. Every person is responsible for their own emotional awareness and their own mental processes and it's really, totally surreal to even read through the original post. What is the point of this? I don't get it, at all.
People are people. Some people are silly. Some are stern. Some are magic. Some are quietly confident. Some are afraid. Some take risks.
I really don't understand this whole commentary on someone else. It's alien to me.
Every person is responsible for their own actions and reactions. Every person is responsible for their own emotional awareness and their own mental processes and it's really, totally surreal to even read through the original post. What is the point of this? I don't get it, at all.
Well not really. Being responsible for our own mental process is taking responsibility. Trying to be courteous and unoffensive to others is taking that initiative and wisdom a little bit further.
People in the west have this mentality that everything is action and reaction. That someone can 'make' you angry or 'promote' a certain response from you. It isn't true at all. It's lazy thinking.
But that doesn't mean that most people don't behave that way. If I'm responsible for my own responses and am diligent about that, and I am diligent about others' responses and how they may react; then I'm a diligent thoughtful person.
Or I could just say whatever I like, and respond in whatever whim takes me; and be belligerent and thoughtless.
People in the west have this mentality that everything is action and reaction. That someone can 'make' you angry or 'promote' a certain response from you. It isn't true at all. It's lazy thinking.
But that doesn't mean that most people don't behave that way. If I'm responsible for my own responses and am diligent about that, and I am diligent about others' responses and how they may react; then I'm a diligent thoughtful person.
Or I could just say whatever I like, and respond in whatever whim takes me; and be belligerent and thoughtless.
Well I saw that some of you said the threads were sort of alienish, How it could be socially awkward or abnormal. Perhaps that is because this world is not used to such love and encouragement. Jesus said we would be seen differently if we were to walk in his footsteps. we would become like aliens to the world.
some got offended and some were blessed by the threads, and I am going to keep making them because if we can bless or encourage each we grow in faith and love for each other. It's easy to point out the negatives in anything, but what outweighs the threads here? the good or the bad?
some got offended and some were blessed by the threads, and I am going to keep making them because if we can bless or encourage each we grow in faith and love for each other. It's easy to point out the negatives in anything, but what outweighs the threads here? the good or the bad?
And this is yet another thing that makes Blain a better person than me.
I understand what people are saying about flattery... But the Bible also tells us that we are edify one another as well. I agree that exaggerated or obligated flattery and bun-kissing (that one was for ITOREtheSKY!! Reference to buns, of course!) isn't Godly, but I don't believe genuine words spoken from the heart would be seen as going against God's Word... or heart, for that matter.
I do, however, think the suggestion of asking the person first is very helpful.
As I said, I'm greatly looking forward to seeing the threads that others who have offered suggestions here will write because I learn best by seeing an example, not just a list of "do's" and "don'ts."
It's just my personal opinion that anyone telling us how to do it better should be able to SHOW us... I guess I'm just a slow learner that way. Don't just tell me how to do or how not to do something... Show me how YOU do it so I can watch an expert at work.
I understand what people are saying about flattery... But the Bible also tells us that we are edify one another as well. I agree that exaggerated or obligated flattery and bun-kissing (that one was for ITOREtheSKY!! Reference to buns, of course!
) isn't Godly, but I don't believe genuine words spoken from the heart would be seen as going against God's Word... or heart, for that matter. I do, however, think the suggestion of asking the person first is very helpful.
As I said, I'm greatly looking forward to seeing the threads that others who have offered suggestions here will write because I learn best by seeing an example, not just a list of "do's" and "don'ts."
It's just my personal opinion that anyone telling us how to do it better should be able to SHOW us... I guess I'm just a slow learner that way.
Don't just tell me how to do or how not to do something... Show me how YOU do it so I can watch an expert at work.