The "How Sweetly Naive Blain is" thread. You know you want to read it.

[LightningClap0002]

And this is yet another thing that makes Blain a better person than me.

I understand what people are saying about flattery... But the Bible also tells us that we are edify one another as well. I agree that exaggerated or obligated flattery and bun-kissing (that one was for ITOREtheSKY!! Reference to buns, of course! ) isn't Godly, but I don't believe genuine words spoken from the heart would be seen as going against God's Word... or heart, for that matter.

I do, however, think the suggestion of asking the person first is very helpful.

As I said, I'm greatly looking forward to seeing the threads that others who have offered suggestions here will write because I learn best by seeing an example, not just a list of "do's" and "don'ts."

It's just my personal opinion that anyone telling us how to do it better should be able to SHOW us... I guess I'm just a slow learner that way. Don't just tell me how to do or how not to do something... Show me how YOU do it so I can watch an expert at work.

Kim,

You know that I respect you a lot. So I hope you will allow me to try and clarify a little further. The problem for me was that the point of the threads, their focus, was the individual. It wasn't that someone posted something particularly wise and was encouraged with a followup "thank you for sharing that wisdom with us". There is an in-genuineness about storing up or piling up compliments that bothers me. We aren't asked or told to every now and then raise someone up on a pedestal or hyper-encourage people, but to constantly do so. The approach is all I take issue with. I am still struggling. My spirit was immediately in turmoil after seeing the threads, and still is not at peace.

 

[seoulsearch]

Lightning,

I was just reading updates on one of these said threads and the person it was dedicated to said that they found it to be very uplifting and helpful, so I know there will be differing opinions. I'm sorry that your spirit is in turmoil and from the replies, you are certainly not the only one, so I do understand.

But I also must state that for me, it was different. I didn't feel turmoil at seeing the individual threads--it was when I saw THIS thread that I felt deeply saddened. I respect SeatBelt as well, but reading the thread made me feel terrible inside. I also recently heard a sermon in which the pastor said that just because we feel "a grieving in our spirit" over someone or something, it does NOT always mean the other person or situation is wrong. In fact, this pastor blatantly stated that the reason a person feels grieved "might be because God may be trying to convict YOU of something, not the other person." This really spoke to me because I was thinking of all the times when I feel something... and maybe it's God pointing His finger at ME.

I am certainly not saying I'm right. But as others shared their hearts, I felt the need to share as well. Having had my share of criticisms here on the site, as we all have, my heart simply went out to Blain. I have a very soft spot in my heart for people I see a bit of myself in, and when Blain was called sweetly naive... That's like seeing my entire life flashing before my eyes because people always say that to me as well... and they never mean it in a kind way. I've received my share of backhanded compliments and prettied-up criticisms in life, so all I could think of was how Blain must feel.

We all must feel the way we do for certain reasons, I'm sure, and God convicts us about different things and in different ways.

Maybe what's really going on here is that God is telling ALL of us, certainly myself included, to remove the planks from our eyes... I don't know.

But I do want to tell you, Lightning, thank you so much for stating your convictions in such a polite and respectful way. The respect you said you have for me? Thank you so much --and rest assured that it's quite mutual.

 

[zeroturbulence]

The truth hurts.

 

[Blain]

Seoulsearch, Thank you so much for your encouragement:] I can say for sure though You are probably a better person than me either that or we are both just just plain beloved by the lord. I can understand why people might be offended by the threads, and while i can only seem to see the good they did i try to see from their perspective.

Besides they can say whatever they like about me, I like to see how much like christ I react to negative things. Not like forcing myself to but seeing how much the lord has molded my heart like his.

 

[PopClick]

I also recently heard a sermon in which the pastor said that just because we feel "a grieving in our spirit" over someone or something, it does NOT always mean the other person or situation is wrong. In fact, this pastor blatantly stated that the reason a person feels grieved "might be because God may be trying to convict YOU of something, not the other person."

SO true!

~Waves at Kim~

 

[Fenner]

Kim, that sounds like a good sermon.

 

[seoulsearch]

SO true!

~Waves at Kim~

The truth hurts.

Kim, that sounds like a good sermon.

*Waves back at Pop*

Fenner, it was an excellent sermon. The pastor gave the example of a group of older women coming to him about a young woman in the congregation. These women told him that she was wearing too much makeup and dressing in an unGodly manner and that they "felt the Holy Spirit was grieved within them" because of it.

The pastor looked straight at them and said, "No, what I think is really going on is that you all are jealous because this young woman is beautiful."

YOWSERS. As Zero said, the truth can definitely hurt. Sometimes it downright slaps you in the face.

When I first read this thread, my naive little brain translated it as saying, "Wow, Such-and-Such is So Charmingly Stupid", and believe me, that made me feel quite a bit of grief. In fact, I had to do a double-take because it seemed so out of character to me--I had never known the author to be anything but upfront, yet uplifting and gracious.

But, I also realize it could be God convicting me over the times I've called people out myself.

Of course I believe there is a place for honesty and speaking our minds. But somewhere along the line, we also all have to ask, "God, am I feeling this way because it's me who's doing something wrong, and not the other person?"

We just might have to brace ourselves a bit when the answer comes back.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I wanna be clear here... I am all for making a thread for someone who specifically needs to be uplifted for some reason, but I am against making threads for people just to flatter them. Its the sort of thing that divides people. One person may get very few responses on their thread and feel like others don't notice or appreciate them. Finding out something like that can deeply hurt someone. And what if someone they feel animosity towards gets a whole bunch of sweet comments from people they thought were their friends. See where I'm going with this?

I wonder how many have already felt hurt because hardly anyone replied to their thread. Maybe no one, but maybe someone does. Is it really worth it if someone gets hurt?

Why not save the uplifting for those who actually need it...
instead of turning this forum into a 'RATE (name here)' CONTEST.

I've said all I have to say here.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Ok, that was a little harsh, but you get my point.

And I'm not posting in this thread anymore.

 

[Powemm]

I'm sorry I cant get past your avatar zero...... I can't make a serious comment without laughing ..

 

[Powemm]

Now I don't even want too.. That was awesome !!

 

[Ariel82]

I wanna be clear here... I am all for making a thread for someone who specifically needs to be uplifted for some reason, but I am against making threads for people just to flatter them. Its the sort of thing that divides people. One person may get very few responses on their thread and feel like others don't notice or appreciate them. Finding out something like that can deeply hurt someone. And what if someone they feel animosity towards gets a whole bunch of sweet comments from people they thought were their friends. See where I'm going with this?

I wonder how many have already felt hurt because hardly anyone replied to their thread. Maybe no one, but maybe someone does. Is it really worth it if someone gets hurt?

Why not save the uplifting for those who actually need it...
instead of turning this forum into a 'RATE (name here)' CONTEST.

I've said all I have to say here.

i don't think anyone made any of the threads to just flatter another person.

and sometimes God places a person on our hearts that need to be encouraged, so you say its alright to make a thread about them. but how can you tell if that isn't what happened with all the threads already made?

I would never have guess lilchristian was having a bad week from her posts, until she mentioned how uplifting the thread made her.

I think people need to reexamine their hearts. 1. if they are upset about not getting a lot of posts or more posts than another person then, they are giving in to envy which is not the type of love God wants us to have.

2. if they are upset that others are more "popular" or "liked" then again that is envy and not love.

3. if they are upset that their "friends" like someone they really don't then that shows unforgiveness in the heart and God wants us to forgive others or He will not forgive us our trespass and I know I personally need lot of forgiveness so freely forgive everyone even if they don't ask to be forgiven because that is what GOD wants us to do.

4. i don't see where the fear of offending someone should stop those who want to encourage others. everyone has the option NOT to respond, and people should NOT respond if all they want to do is flatter another, show how popular that person is or for any other motive then to encourage and uplift and thank God for that person.

5. if people are offended that they don't have a thread, its because most don't want to step on toes so I doubt very many more of the threads will be made, so its not that people don't love them, its cause it just didn't happen yet and with the mood some have about them, its unlikely to happen in this forum at least.

 

[Fenner]

Ariel you said what I was thinking.

 

[Powemm]

2 Corinthians 13:2
I already gave you a warning when I was with you the second time. I now repeat it while absent: On my return I will not spare those who sinned earlier or any of the others,
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Philippians 1:15
It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
Philippians 2:4
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
1 Thessalonians 5:6
So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober.

 

[DuchessAimee]

i don't think anyone made any of the threads to just flatter another person.

and sometimes God places a person on our hearts that need to be encouraged, so you say its alright to make a thread about them. but how can you tell if that isn't what happened with all the threads already made?

I would never have guess lilchristian was having a bad week from her posts, until she mentioned how uplifting the thread made her.

I think people need to reexamine their hearts.

1. if they are upset about not getting a lot of posts or more posts than another person then, they are giving in to envy which is not the type of love God wants us to have.

2. if they are upset that others are more "popular" or "liked" then again that is envy and not love.

3. if they are upset that their "friends" like someone they really don't then that shows unforgiveness in the heart and God wants us to forgive others or He will not forgive us our trespass and I know I personally need lot of forgiveness so freely forgive everyone even if they don't ask to be forgiven because that is what GOD wants us to do.

4. i don't see where the fear of offending someone should stop those who want to encourage others. everyone has the option NOT to respond, and people should NOT respond if all they want to do is flatter another, show how popular that person is or for any other motive then to encourage and uplift and thank God for that person.

5. if people are offended that they don't have a thread, its because most don't want to step on toes so I doubt very many more of the threads will be made, so its not that people don't love them, its cause it just didn't happen yet and with the mood some have about them, its unlikely to happen in this forum at least.

You can't make these statements without knowing what the end result would be. You don't actually know the state of someone's heart, and you don't know who would have gotten a thread and who wouldn't. There's an old saying, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." People had a lot of good intentions with the threads, but at some point, because people are people, the threads would have stopped and people would have been left out. It's one of the reasons that the word says to do things like this in secret. God knows the state of the heart and the tendencies of people. This is also why Jesus told some people NOT to tell others what he had done when he healed them.


You can preach what people should do, or should say, or should be all you want, but that's not the reality of who they are.

 

[Ariel82]

You can preach what people should do, or should say, or should be all you want, but that's not the reality of who they are.

Are we looking at present or future reality?

Because if we look towards and strive to be the people God intends us to be then we should continue to preach what should be done and said and even thought and felt by God's people according to what we have learned.

God tells us we should not allow envy to poison our hearts.

God tells us we should uplift others.

Jesus told people that not everyone would be healed and they wanted to stone Him.

Luke 4

[SUP]23 [/SUP]He said to them, “You will surely say this proverb to Me, ‘Physician, heal yourself! Whatever we have heard done in Capernaum,[SUP][l][/SUP] do also here in Your country.’” [SUP]24 [/SUP]Then He said, “Assuredly, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own country. [SUP]25 [/SUP]But I tell you truly, many widows were in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, and there was a great famine throughout all the land; [SUP]26 [/SUP]but to none of them was Elijah sent except to Zarephath,[SUP][m][/SUP] in the region of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow. [SUP]27 [/SUP]And many lepers were in Israel in the time of Elisha the prophet, and none of them was cleansed except Naaman the Syrian.”

[SUP]28 [/SUP]So all those in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, [SUP]29 [/SUP]and rose up and thrust Him out of the city; and they led Him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw Him down over the cliff. [SUP]30 [/SUP]Then passing through the midst of them, He went His way.

I don't understand why instead of rejoicing when someone gets praised and acknowledge for the wonderful work God has done in them, the light they have shone and love they have given to others, that people allow envy and their own self worth issues to eat away at their hearts.

The threads are not meant to be about the person but about God and how He has brought together people as members of the same Body, but I'm probably annoying more people than anything so I'll get back out of the singles forums, now.

 

[Ariel82]

God rewards people openly for the good works they did in secret. He proclaims that they are His children. He pours forth His love upon them. One would think if we His children did the same for others we have noticed doing good, it would be understood and accepted.

Matthew 6

New King James Version (NKJV)


6 “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. [SUP]2 [/SUP]Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. [SUP]3 [/SUP]But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, [SUP]4 [/SUP]that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.[SUP][a][/SUP]

 

[Blain]

It's strange how things work, everyone was having fun and laughing and loving each other. Then this thread( and I mean no disrespect about making it) cut through all that and scattered everyone. Now we have people who see the threads in two views. The positives about the threads and the negatives.

If the threads have to be stopped being made then i guess that's it, but I hope one day soon everyone will see the good they did in those threads. You all have no idea the lives you impacted and the good you did. you think you were just posting posting uplifting things and didn't really make that much of a difference? well guess again,you did far more than that.

The devil would probably love for these threads to stop considering how dangerous they were becoming to him, and no i am not putting the devil in this to make you feel obligated or anything i am just stating a fact. I have to admit though i am really going to miss watching everyone uplift and encouraging each other and showing what it means to love each other like christ did.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

THAT'S IT! I'm reporting us all to admin & asking that we all be banned. The entire singles forum be closed down unil we can all get along. LOL

 

[Fenner]

I'll report you for reporting me.