Hi there, I wanted to give you a little insight into me. I am the mother of a heroin addict, the mother of a daughter severley molested 3 times. The daughter of a alcholic father, the daughter in law to a alcholic mother in law, the sister of a crack pipe addict, and the sister of a cocaine addict.
Phew looks hectic when I put it on paper. One of the comments was for tough love, I am not sure if you have looked into the programme and attended meetings that are held as support for you as the family, or applied principle you though applied to this technique?
I use the word technique because that is what it is, we do enable the addict or alcholic which is what your wife is, without realising it. These tough love support groups encourage you to find the answer;s to your circumstance. You have so often pointed out how you want to fix her, how you want to make it right, how the Lord brought her along because she needed you.
These are all statements that enable her is her ability to drink, you are not her saviour, you cannot make it better, you cannot fix it, you cannot fix her. When you realise that she is the only one who can and must want to do the work to get better only then will it change. She will only have the desire to want to get better and make the change when it is unbearable for her to live this way. She has to hit what they call rock bottom.
I closed from front door in the face of my brother who arrived at my doorstep looking like a homeless person, driving around in a car with no tyres only the rimes on. I heard on another occassion how he was screaming down the telephone line, while he was being chased with knives down the road by people he owed money to for drugs. I told him I love him, and it is because I love him, that I close the door. He would have to sleep in the street and beg for his life before he decided it was time to change. If I had allowed him to come in, and sleep over and take a bath, and give him food, all his needs would of been met, and he would of continued for longer.
I fetched my son out of his hiding space in my back garden when he ran away from the rehab he was at, and told him that I loved him and for that reason he needed to get into the car and return, or he needed to leave my yard and not come back.
It goes on and on, please feel free to email me, should you require more info, or encouragement.
You have what it takes to make the difference for yourself and your children. The Lord has equipped you, you need to let her go so she can find herself, and come back.
Veronica
And I understand a wife who's against it could easily stop it or make it very difficult.
