Re: "Women keep silent in the churches": Has that ceased or is it still for today?
Where does Scripture say a woman cannot be a pastor ?
It doesn't. But it does give a list of requirements for overseers. In I Timothy 3, write after talking about women/wives not teaching men/husbands, and women being saved through childbearing, Paul says that the overseer must be the husband of one wife.
The New Testament doesn't say much about the role of 'pastor' as a church office, except for several references to Christ. A verb form for 'pastor' shows up in the instructions for elders in I Peter 5, and also in Acts 20:28. The latter verse says that the Holy Spirit had made the elders to be overseers (bishops.)
I am open to the idea of a woman exercising the gift of pastor and teacher. An older woman might pastor and teach other women. But I don't think 'pastor' is necessarily an official ordained role in the church, ordained with the laying on of hands. Overseer or elder is. (And I see these as being the same people based on Acts 20:28's direct statement, Titus 1 referring to them interchangeably, and I Peter 5 telling elders to take the oversight of the flock.) There may be people gifted as pastors who aren't mature enough in life to be overseers.
We need to remember that we call church clergy 'pastors' as the main title for their role because of the Reformation. 'Priest' got messed up in Germanic languages. It comes from the Greek word for 'elder'. But Germanic languages used it for Old Testament descendants of Aaron. Biblical presbuteros elders correspond with Old Testament zaqen elders. Elders correspond with elders, not with kohen-- aaronic 'priests.'
Luther wrote about the 'priesthood of all believers.' The Protestants in Geneva started calling their church officials 'pastors', even though they applied the scriptures about elders to them. Then they wanted to set up a theocracy, so they followed certain fourth century historical models of having 'garousia' elders in the Christian community. The city leaders were called 'elders.' Since church and state was interwoven, the city elders became a role in the church when the model was adapted by the Church of Scotland. (Knox knew Calvin and spent time on the European mainland pastoring and ministering.)
That translated into a division of roles known as 'pastors' and 'elders.' We get this tradition of board elders who don't really pastor, which is in the Bible. And people are confused when reading about elders in scripture because it doesn't match with what they see in their churches. Then they don't think there are any requirements for being a 'pastor.'
Basically, our terminology is poor because we call these leaders 'pastors' when that is a descriptive term for a shepherd, not the word for the official ordained role, IMO. Elders are told to pastor. There may be some people gifted as pastors who aren't elders, who aren't the ones the apostles would have appointed, who have a gift but not the official position or authority. I don't see a problem, Biblically, with a woman having this gift, particularly if she exercises it with other women. That doesn't mean she has to be ordained with the laying on of hands.
I know, I know, God's Word talks about a deacon being the pastor of one wife in 1 Tim. 3 , but does that mean that a woman cannot be a pastor ?
1 Tim.
Deacons are servants, not people with authority 'over' the church. I know people who grew up Baptist may disagree. I suppose you could consider all apostles and elders to be deacons also, since Paul calls himself a servant. But there are deacons who aren't 'the boss.' If the Seven were deacons, they took the food to the widows and handled money. They didn't vote in the professional hired clergyman and fire him if he preached past 12:05.
I don't see a problem with a woman being a deacon. I don't see why it should be seen to contradict even a conservative interpretation on women's roles.