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K
I think one of the most important things is that they accept you for who you are. Most people would agree with this but I wonder how many truly understand what that means. There seems to be an acceptance at the initial meeting, but it ends up leading to a desire to change their partner. It's great to have support if there is a desire to change, but if there isn't, both parties just end up getting frustrated. It seems that people don't just fall in love with their partner, but the person they want them to become.
We are instructed as Christians to choose a partner that we are equally yoked with. I believe that means they must not only be in the same place (spiritually, religiously, mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.), but also the same goals and the pace that both are willing to make. Any attempt to force one to act differently, regardless how good the other feels it is better for them, will only lead to resentment of both parties.
i think that is why arranged marriages have been more successful than those based on "love." The romance we crave has also produced unrealistic expectations which have created broken homes. When I met my ex-wife, I thought that all it would take is for me to love her constantly and be the best husband I could, and she would eventually heal from injuries she suffered in her childhood. Instead, she refused to leave her comfort zone of being a victim, and instead of me raising her up, she dragged me down. The harder I tried, the more frustrated we both became. I finally had to just let her be who she wanted and refocused my life on how I felt I should serve God.
We are instructed as Christians to choose a partner that we are equally yoked with. I believe that means they must not only be in the same place (spiritually, religiously, mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.), but also the same goals and the pace that both are willing to make. Any attempt to force one to act differently, regardless how good the other feels it is better for them, will only lead to resentment of both parties.
i think that is why arranged marriages have been more successful than those based on "love." The romance we crave has also produced unrealistic expectations which have created broken homes. When I met my ex-wife, I thought that all it would take is for me to love her constantly and be the best husband I could, and she would eventually heal from injuries she suffered in her childhood. Instead, she refused to leave her comfort zone of being a victim, and instead of me raising her up, she dragged me down. The harder I tried, the more frustrated we both became. I finally had to just let her be who she wanted and refocused my life on how I felt I should serve God.
R
I think one of the most important things in a relaitonship is if you are both serving God. God will lead you to where ever He needs you to be. We got to remember that He took a rib from Adam and made Eve. We all have a soul mate out there. Allowing God and trusting HIm to help you to find your soul mate is the best idea for a relaitonship. Yes, you are going to have those moments like we all have and do. My wife and I weren't christians when we met and got married. We dated 5 years before getting married. I went to her baptism and it wasn't a week later, I was a Christian my self. I answered God's calling on my life. Now, He has lead me into the ministry. What a wonderful gift. The lesson to be learned here is to always trust and follow God in all decisions. Remember, If we put first the kingdome of God, All things will be provided. Mat. 6:33
Friendship...,(within acceptable boundaries...) Intimacy, Courting/Dating, Some exposure to living together (not in such a way that we moved in or anything, but always being at one another's place of residence), partnership (in spirit, music, and whatever else...just learning to be a 'duo' instead of 'solo'), and otherwise a growing closer each day...
K
I have a question about the "we all have a soul mate out there" statement.
Does that mean that if we don't find that "soul mate," that it is due to some fault of our own? That we aren't following God? Isn't the "soul mate" concept just more of the fantasized romance concept that gets couples to jump into marriage more based on emotions than sincere commitment? Why is divorce just as high in Christian couples as in non-Christian ones?
Marriage is work. It demands a commitment even when one or both no longer "feel it." It takes both of a couple to make it work. Many will enter into marriage, promising to fulfill all the commitments made, but for various reasons, decide to "walk away."
Does that mean that if we don't find that "soul mate," that it is due to some fault of our own? That we aren't following God? Isn't the "soul mate" concept just more of the fantasized romance concept that gets couples to jump into marriage more based on emotions than sincere commitment? Why is divorce just as high in Christian couples as in non-Christian ones?
Marriage is work. It demands a commitment even when one or both no longer "feel it." It takes both of a couple to make it work. Many will enter into marriage, promising to fulfill all the commitments made, but for various reasons, decide to "walk away."
R
Yes. Marriage is work, but I promise if you put it all in God's hands the work actually becomes fun. You also have to look at one thing KJV. One of the reasons that the divorce rate is so high is because people are giving in to the temptations. They are cheating on each other, and getting angry instead of following Christ. It does take 2 to fulfill a great marriage. You have to remember that God took a rib from adam and made eve. He also said that he made woman to be a mans help mate. Somewhere out there is the one that God made for you. Never give up on that.
K
Actually, divorce due to infidelity is quite low in reasons why. The number one reason for both Christian and non-Christian alike is money. The stresses it brings is the greatest divider. As a couple, they struggle to give their children an upbringing better than they had. As individuals, money and belongings are a symbol of success, something that corrupts Christian and non-Christian alike. Just look around and you'll see how those that have a position of authority, who claim to do God's work, live not as a servant, but in a standard of living greater than the ones who give to their ministry.
PRIDE is the greatest sin that has caused the sorrows of the world. Those who live in ivory towers look down upon the multitude and cry, "see though sinners who are engaged in manners of the flesh. They are the ones who deserve our disdain. Look not at my own sin for their's is greater. I have much so surely God is blessing me." Or is it the riches that Satan has used to corrupt them, and allowed their pride to blind them from the truth? How many of our leaders, spiritual and secular, have fallen due to the very sins they so loudly condemned?
if you doubt this, just look at how Jesus viewed both kinds of the people throughout His ministry, Mary Magdeline, a known prostitute, and the Pharisees, the religious leaders of the day. Who received MORE of HIS condemnation?
PRIDE is the greatest sin that has caused the sorrows of the world. Those who live in ivory towers look down upon the multitude and cry, "see though sinners who are engaged in manners of the flesh. They are the ones who deserve our disdain. Look not at my own sin for their's is greater. I have much so surely God is blessing me." Or is it the riches that Satan has used to corrupt them, and allowed their pride to blind them from the truth? How many of our leaders, spiritual and secular, have fallen due to the very sins they so loudly condemned?
if you doubt this, just look at how Jesus viewed both kinds of the people throughout His ministry, Mary Magdeline, a known prostitute, and the Pharisees, the religious leaders of the day. Who received MORE of HIS condemnation?
M
The willingness to share eachothers interests, being honest at all times, being able to communicate successfully(meaning you can talk to them and they will understand completely and vise versa),someone who will trust to lead you through the fires of hell and trust you to take care of them when they are unable to do it themselves. Someone who will call you a disgrace when you fail to follow Jesus or do what has to be done.Someone who will give you more room on the bed when you need it and forgive you when you truly mean it.
I think I've gone far enough with this.... lol
I think I've gone far enough with this.... lol
G
That's powerful what you said, and, a guy who follows God will do all of that in marriage to you, pikamischu, "lead you through the fires of hell," that is powerful verse, milady, But, yes, the guy of God's dreams for you, He will do aLL that, , for you, and, you for Him, as He leads you both. The Lord leads. He will be who you look to, who you submit to, who himself looks to Christ, fearfully understanding that His life, like yours, is in submission to Christ 
Keep in mind before you read these verses, WE all who follow Christ = the church . We are ALL the bride of Christ
Ephesians 5:24
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wive
1 Peter 3:1
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
Keep in mind before you read these verses, WE all who follow Christ = the church . We are ALL the bride of Christ
Ephesians 5:24
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wive
1 Peter 3:1
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
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G
* The edit time outgunned me thinker before it was done thinking. Hey, you try dealing with these green brains, soooooooooooo slooooooooooooooooooooo, sometimes.
He (your husband) will be who you look to, who you submit to, who himself looks to Christ, fearfully understanding that his life, like yours, is in submission to Christ
He (your husband) will be who you look to, who you submit to, who himself looks to Christ, fearfully understanding that his life, like yours, is in submission to Christ
M
* The edit time outgunned me thinker before it was done thinking. Hey, you try dealing with these green brains, soooooooooooo slooooooooooooooooooooo, sometimes.
He (your husband) will be who you look to, who you submit to, who himself looks to Christ, fearfully understanding that his life, like yours, is in submission to Christ
He (your husband) will be who you look to, who you submit to, who himself looks to Christ, fearfully understanding that his life, like yours, is in submission to Christ
R
For me,something that has respect for each other's life...I already have religion,culture,identity,interest and passion before meeting someone to be in my life,and He is the same I believed,forcing me to wear HIS shoes,or me asking him to to wear mine is such a bad IDEA,I belong to a family that has different religion,interest and faves,but we get along pretty good as a family because we respect each other,we never made each other feel inferior just because someone is from a different religion or someone has a different interest.I want to have a relationship that is transparent with each other but has some mystery to discover each day...a relationship that has bucketful of humor...so we can laugh in the hard times...a positive outlook in life even when it sucks sometimes...and loads of LOVE for each other...that even the person LOOKS might change...you will remind each other that it was the heart and soul...that bring you to a MARRIAGE.