Am I doing the right thing as a Christian? I need your wise counsel.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
B

BabyTeddy79

Guest
#21
#21
woka said:
I want to ask what is it you are hoping to achieve by not giving up? Why does "giving up" or moving on, worry you so much? Is it maybe that you feel like you have failed? Him or yourself? In my experience we only find it difficult to move on, or give up when we have not reached the point of doing so, when we have the decision comes quite easily, as we have processed and figured that it is the best for ourselves, that we are not getting what we had hoped, that we maybe didn't perceive the relationship to become what it has, this all boils down to our own self esteem and that what we want is important, because the Lord say's we are important. That trying and trying is actually disrespectful to the person we are trying so hard not to hurt and in the process are hurting both them and ourselves.Just a few thoughts.
Click to expand...
Its not about the inability-moving on is easy. In fact I wanted this to let go the moment he showed anxiety.I worry about letting go as I wonder if its ok to give up.
 
B

BabyTeddy79

Guest
#22
#22
woka said:
I want to ask what is it you are hoping to achieve by not giving up? Why does "giving up" or moving on, worry you so much? Is it maybe that you feel like you have failed? Him or yourself? In my experience we only find it difficult to move on, or give up when we have not reached the point of doing so, when we have the decision comes quite easily, as we have processed and figured that it is the best for ourselves, that we are not getting what we had hoped, that we maybe didn't perceive the relationship to become what it has, this all boils down to our own self esteem and that what we want is important, because the Lord say's we are important. That trying and trying is actually disrespectful to the person we are trying so hard not to hurt and in the process are hurting both them and ourselves.Just a few thoughts.
Click to expand...
I was posted this as I was in great turmoil about avoiding him indefinitely. I just didn't know if it is a sin to give up on someone. -_-Thanks for the perspective.
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#23
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#23
From what you are saying - I think you should move on.

It isn't wrong to let him go - you aren't married yet - the dating period is for finding out whether you can marry or not.
 
B

BabyTeddy79

Guest
#24
#24
Stuey said:
From what you are saying - I think you should move on. It isn't wrong to let him go - you aren't married yet - the dating period is for finding out whether you can marry or not.
Click to expand...
Yep!! Must stop being there.I don't have to do this when he is so unsure.Sadly, I had a choice and was aware of it. I had chosen this path as I was worried about leaving a scar in his heart as I know that he loved & still loves me but is dead scared, reluctant and unable to grow up, scared to take responsibilities to assist my Dad's businesses, worried that I won't be a stay-home mom, insecure about my friends, not being traditional, etc.Guess what?! I had WORST fears about him too and that didn't stop me. He wants me to drop out of nowhere with nil efforts on his part. That's not happening. This whole relationship ... even talking about it made...still makes me nauseous & disgusted. Humiliating to the core!Posting this here helped me to analyze from a different perspective. Thanks kid!GOD bless!
 
B

BabyTeddy79

Guest
#25
#25
Thank you guys for giving your opinion, advice & counsel.Had so much going on in my mind that made me sad & guilty. I think posting here is a good decision :) as I have received unbiased views of Christian people not related to either of us.I was NOT holding on for him.Didn't have trouble in moving on. I was being "still".Avoided actions that might act destructive to the relationship/friendship. Didn't yearn. Didn't ignore. Was walking on egg shells.Just wanted to say this:There are parents who love their kids but end up hurting by not being there when the child needs them...hurting by their negligence - an outcome of immaturity which makes them irresponsible... prevents them from putting the interest of the child over theirs.Immature people mess up their priorities & hurt their loved ones.I think he is like those parents.He is a friend.Ended hurting me and himself as he is immature. Forgave him. I don't regret as God used this situation to teach many lessons.Thank you guys!God bless you!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.