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A few questions - Is she a Christian?
If she isn't, why do you want to condemn her? She isn't living by the same moral standards as we are - and although she will be held accountable one day, it is not up to us to do that but God.
Congratulate her and be there for her. Single mothers are among the most vulnerable in their society.
Also, how does this even relate to her job? Yes - she won't be able to work for a few months, but workplaces should be flexible enough to be able to handle this. I'm fairly sure it would illegal to fire someone in Australia because of pregnancy... not sure about the USA.
If she isn't, why do you want to condemn her? She isn't living by the same moral standards as we are - and although she will be held accountable one day, it is not up to us to do that but God.
Congratulate her and be there for her. Single mothers are among the most vulnerable in their society.
Also, how does this even relate to her job? Yes - she won't be able to work for a few months, but workplaces should be flexible enough to be able to handle this. I'm fairly sure it would illegal to fire someone in Australia because of pregnancy... not sure about the USA.
J
Just love her and be her friend. She has enough people judging her I'm sure and feels it. Show her the love of Christ. This is a VERY emotional time for her and her heart is very soft. What better time for her to receive Christ (if she doesn't know Him already) than on the brink of bringing a child into the world so she can raise the child in the ways of God? 
But please don't do the hellfire/clanging cymbal thing.
When a non-married lady tells me she is expecting, I normally avoid the awkwardness of whether or not to congratulate her by expressing genuine concern for her well-being/health and that of the baby. Offer to be there for her and BE THERE FOR HER. She will remember all of her life how she was treated by people during this difficult time. Show her Christ.
But please don't do the hellfire/clanging cymbal thing.When a non-married lady tells me she is expecting, I normally avoid the awkwardness of whether or not to congratulate her by expressing genuine concern for her well-being/health and that of the baby. Offer to be there for her and BE THERE FOR HER. She will remember all of her life how she was treated by people during this difficult time. Show her Christ.
T
Must be an Aussie thing, I misunderstood Amber too. The young lady in question is the manager, so she wouldn't be fired. If anything she'd be the one doing the firing. Amber said: "I can't hell fire her, and wouldn't want to." She probably meant, "hell-fire", as in bringing down the fire and brimstone of judgment on her. But I initially read the post as: "I can't, hell, fire her, and I wouldn't want to." I'm no longer confused.
I know many people with children out of wedlock who have been treated like trash for their bad choices. Example.. My cousin is the unwed mother of a beautiful biracial baby boy... her lost family treated her like she was garbage. She knows where my family stands when it comes to sex before marriage yet she still came to our house and told us she was pregnant. She was surprised at the way she was treated and her heart softened listening to us talk about praying for a safe pregnancy and a safe delivery and just telling her if you need anyone.. we are here for you. Now when she needs prayer ..she calls us. God can use a bad situation to let you get your foot in the door to share His word with people who might not listen regularly.
A
Marriage comes first. Then shower. Not celebration of pregnancy with no mention of marriage. As far as Mary being unwed when she was pregnant, she was a virgin. She did not fornicate, and she was married before Jesus was born (Luke 1:2-7).
I feel like attending the shower is celebrating her sinful life style. I am willing to give gifts to her for her baby, but I'm not celebrating the wrong way she's chosen to do things.
She no longer works there btw She came in for a visit the other day.
I don't know, it's pretty common and accepted these days.
I feel like attending the shower is celebrating her sinful life style. I am willing to give gifts to her for her baby, but I'm not celebrating the wrong way she's chosen to do things.
She no longer works there btw
She came in for a visit the other day. I don't know, it's pretty common and accepted these days.
S
God's love overcomes everything. Pour the love of God that you have in your heart upon this young mother.
I too was an unwed mother and it was being a mother that brought me to the Lord.
And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Her path will not be an easy one due to the circumstances, we need to be Christ to those who are suffering. Jesus himself associated with sinners and condemned the religious people of His day. Let Jesus Christ's example guide your heart in your dealings with these unwed mothers.
For as Jesus said (John 8) when the religious people brought a woman to Him caught in adultery "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" when they all left Jesus said in love to the women "Women, where are they? Has no one condemned you?. THEN NEITHER DO I CONDEMN YOU" Jesus declared "Go now and leave your life of sin"
Everything Jesus did while He dwelt on earth pleased God!
Wonderful loving advice and responses by the loving CC chatters.
I too was an unwed mother and it was being a mother that brought me to the Lord.
And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Her path will not be an easy one due to the circumstances, we need to be Christ to those who are suffering. Jesus himself associated with sinners and condemned the religious people of His day. Let Jesus Christ's example guide your heart in your dealings with these unwed mothers.
For as Jesus said (John 8) when the religious people brought a woman to Him caught in adultery "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" when they all left Jesus said in love to the women "Women, where are they? Has no one condemned you?. THEN NEITHER DO I CONDEMN YOU" Jesus declared "Go now and leave your life of sin"
Everything Jesus did while He dwelt on earth pleased God!
Wonderful loving advice and responses by the loving CC chatters.
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So it sounds like we should just her and her heathen baby at arms length, so as not to render us spiritually contaminated with their unmarriedness.
We should point our holier than thou fingers at them. So that she feels the feel the weight of their unholy and sinful burden that kicks within her unwed womb. #ExtraHelpingsofShame
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OR.....
Hey I'm pregnant and I'm scared. I'm throwing a baby shower but, do you think people will hate me?
Your mother and I, and everyone else want you to know that you're not in this alone.
We should point our holier than thou fingers at them. So that she feels the feel the weight of their unholy and sinful burden that kicks within her unwed womb. #ExtraHelpingsofShame
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OR.....
Hey I'm pregnant and I'm scared. I'm throwing a baby shower but, do you think people will hate me?
Your mother and I, and everyone else want you to know that you're not in this alone.
Is this the first unwed pregnant women you've known ? I'm curious because I've known a lot. In all honesty at one time it could have easily been me. If you're not comfortable going to the shower then I agree don't go. Continue to pray and be a friend . We've all judged another but we need to remember that's also a sin. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
WE know that Mary was a virgin, but how many people would have believed it at the time? And how do you think they treated her? In those days, she could have been put to death.
As I said in my original post, I doubt any of us, living at that time, if we would have known Mary, would have believed either. And how would we have treated her vs. how God would have wanted her treated?
I agree with Sunny--I've known many unwed parents as well who came to the Lord as they raised their children and watched them grow. Often, feeling convicted (by God, not me, I hope!), they were later married, but it was a process that took time often years.
The other thing about an unwed pregnancy is that it's a public evidence of a private sin. What if all of our private sins were hung to the outside of our bodies for others to see? How would we then treat people? I've often found that people who are condemning the unwed... are simply people who haven't been "caught" via a public pregnancy. They're having, or have had had, sex a plenty outside God's command, but feel they can judge others who "got caught", just because they haven't. I'm NOT saying this is you at all, Amber... But I've found this thinking is very common.
All of us are guilty of lustful thoughts at one time or another anyway, and Jesus said that's the same as participating in our hearts, so we are ALL guilty.
If you, and all the rest of us, take a minute... to let God convict us all of our private sins for just one minute. How then are we to act towards others?
As I said, I understand your wanting to act according to your beliefs, but where does it stop? For example, do we not talk to smokers because they're ingesting poison into their bodies and surely we don't want to condone their sin? If we meet them for lunch, are we applauding their sin if they light up around us and we don't tell them they're defiling their temple?
I heard a saying from a pastor I really like: "Our job is to CATCH the fish. It's the Holy Spirit's job to clean them."
As I said in my original post, I doubt any of us, living at that time, if we would have known Mary, would have believed either. And how would we have treated her vs. how God would have wanted her treated?
I agree with Sunny--I've known many unwed parents as well who came to the Lord as they raised their children and watched them grow. Often, feeling convicted (by God, not me, I hope!), they were later married, but it was a process that took time often years.
The other thing about an unwed pregnancy is that it's a public evidence of a private sin. What if all of our private sins were hung to the outside of our bodies for others to see? How would we then treat people? I've often found that people who are condemning the unwed... are simply people who haven't been "caught" via a public pregnancy. They're having, or have had had, sex a plenty outside God's command, but feel they can judge others who "got caught", just because they haven't. I'm NOT saying this is you at all, Amber... But I've found this thinking is very common.
All of us are guilty of lustful thoughts at one time or another anyway, and Jesus said that's the same as participating in our hearts, so we are ALL guilty.
If you, and all the rest of us, take a minute... to let God convict us all of our private sins for just one minute. How then are we to act towards others?
As I said, I understand your wanting to act according to your beliefs, but where does it stop? For example, do we not talk to smokers because they're ingesting poison into their bodies and surely we don't want to condone their sin? If we meet them for lunch, are we applauding their sin if they light up around us and we don't tell them they're defiling their temple?
I heard a saying from a pastor I really like: "Our job is to CATCH the fish. It's the Holy Spirit's job to clean them."
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J
Marriage comes first. Then shower. Not celebration of pregnancy with no mention of marriage. As far as Mary being unwed when she was pregnant, she was a virgin. She did not fornicate, and she was married before Jesus was born (Luke 1:2-7).
I feel like attending the shower is celebrating her sinful life style. I am willing to give gifts to her for her baby, but I'm not celebrating the wrong way she's chosen to do things.
She no longer works there btw She came in for a visit the other day.
I don't know, it's pretty common and accepted these days.
I feel like attending the shower is celebrating her sinful life style. I am willing to give gifts to her for her baby, but I'm not celebrating the wrong way she's chosen to do things.
She no longer works there btw
She came in for a visit the other day. I don't know, it's pretty common and accepted these days.
If this young woman was having sexual relations outside of marriage, yes, that's wrong. But is she still doing it? Is she still sinning? Does she realize now that what she did was wrong? Is she scared? Does she feel alone? Does she need Christ? Can we assume to know any of these answers?
I would urge you to read what Paul said about restoration of fallen people (We ALL still make mistakes by the way) in 2 Corinthians 2, especially this part:
[SUP]"5 [/SUP]If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. [SUP]6 [/SUP]The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. [SUP]7 [/SUP]Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.[SUP]8 [/SUP]I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. [SUP]10 [/SUP]Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, [SUP]11 [/SUP]in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes."
Be wise in Christ and do not be ignorant of satan's schemes. He WANTS this young woman to feel lost, damaged, beaten, and shunned. Do you think Christ wants any of us to feel that way permanently when we fail?
As I said previously, her emotions are running wild from hormones alone right now, let alone the tremendous fear and concern she may feel about raising this baby alone. Her heart is extremely tender right now and she will remember the rest of her days how she is treated right now. At that point we have two choices: We can either assist satan in beating her down (as he does all of us when we fail) or we can do what Paul instructed us to do and USE a bad situation (God uses ALL things for good, doesn't He?) to share the love of Christ with her and lead her to Him.
The choice is ours, but we have to remember Who is watching. We can choose to revel in our self-righteousness or we can do what Jesus did when WE were yet sinners and show the mercy that leads to restoration of the lost.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While WE were still SINNERS, Christ died for us.
H
I can't speculate on the intentions or amber's heart, but I think its fundamentally a great question. A lot of people run into situations where they struggle with how to demonstrate love to and witness to someone who's actions they disagree with and its nice to see a lot of thought provoking responses and wisdom being shared.
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