being single and pornagraphy

[xXErraticEmilyXx]

You don't really NEED pornography or a girlfriend or even a job or a house.
Figure out what makes you who your are through Jesus Christ.
He says "He who finds his life loses it; but he who loses his life for my sake will find it."

on a side note-
Truth be told- not a whole lot of couples are truly happy. You may not be missing out on a lot.
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

 

[ServantStrike]

The problem is that I have not seen many christian singles so I do not know how viable it is long term. Most people I met were couples and the only few singles I saw were broken men or women who come from unhealthy families. Some of the normal singles I met have had past relationships so they at least have hope.

I think involuntarily choosing a celibate virgin life is going to be a tough battle for me. Especially, now that even masturbation is a sin. I have managed 1 day of sobriety so far. It was tough, but i hope I can pull another day of sobriety. I still can't bring myself to delete my videos though. It is fear that is preventing me from going through with it.

On a side note, not masturbating will also cause wet dreams for me. I have not had a single wet dream ever since I got hooked to masturbation, but I am not looking forward to dealing with the mess. I guess there is a downside to everything.

I still don't see how you know you're going to be unmarried for life. You're 28 - the same age as me. I can tell you this, if you slay this demon, you are much more likely not to be single for life. I mean come on, what woman will put up with a man who doesn't show her the respect she deserves - not many, and not the Christian ones. She doesn't want to think about you going home from a date and abusing yourself to images of her or of any other woman.

You really really need to join in on the discussion in the mens group. We've actually talked some about these very issues. Here's a link to where I mentioned some of it on open forum. Actually it's more like a link to a link, there is a blog post (also on here) linked to in there). We're probably going to go into more detail in the private group area, and we already have.

The nocturnal emissions (okay fine wet dreams) will most likely stop when you get the mental stimuli you feed your brain in line. The uhh.. genetic material - will most likely pass through your bladder. Give it time and I'll get more research in line for that (right now it's kind of thin, looking for peer-reviewed scientific literature).


As for the videos on the computer. By keeping them you're acknowledging you'll fail from the very start, while creating a stumbling block for yourself.

Join us! You can go into much greater detail about your struggles in the private area and not everyone is as comfortable sharing it out in the open as you are. You'll find others who are struggling too but don't talk open open forum, and others who are free of this in Christ who can give you words of encouragment. Social groups show up in your chat profile.

 

[mykim]

I still don't see how you know you're going to be unmarried for life. You're 28 - the same age as me. I can tell you this, if you slay this demon, you are much more likely not to be single for life. I mean come on, what woman will put up with a man who doesn't show her the respect she deserves - not many, and not the Christian ones. She doesn't want to think about you going home from a date and abusing yourself to images of her or of any other woman.

You really really need to join in on the discussion in the mens group. We've actually talked some about these very issues. Here's a link to where I mentioned some of it on open forum. Actually it's more like a link to a link, there is a blog post (also on here) linked to in there). We're probably going to go into more detail in the private group area, and we already have.

The nocturnal emissions (okay fine wet dreams) will most likely stop when you get the mental stimuli you feed your brain in line. The uhh.. genetic material - will most likely pass through your bladder. Give it time and I'll get more research in line for that (right now it's kind of thin, looking for peer-reviewed scientific literature).


As for the videos on the computer. By keeping them you're acknowledging you'll fail from the very start, while creating a stumbling block for yourself.

Join us! You can go into much greater detail about your struggles in the private area and not everyone is as comfortable sharing it out in the open as you are. You'll find others who are struggling too but don't talk open open forum, and others who are free of this in Christ who can give you words of encouragment. Social groups show up in your chat profile.

I know I will be single because I will never approach a woman and try to get to know her. Fact is, I am physically gross and mingling with people is a challenge for me. I already mentioned this before, but I absolutely hate my cold sweaty hands. I dread handshakes because of it.

I could not even imagine holding hands with a woman or trying to be intimate with her. Obviously there are many other things that I don't like about my body but that is a big one. Christian fellowship is important for overcoming the rigors of being single and I am afraid to take part of that thanks to my defective body.

I need to pray for the strength to actually delete the videos, but a part of me is telling me that I will regret if do that. After all, I got no friends, no hope of making friends, no hope of finding a wife, and am isolated most of the time.

 

[gennemer]

I don't know how does your story goes.. but keep your faith unto the Lord.. If you can't resist the temptation try doing other stuff while talking to other people so you'll entertained yourself and got a lot pf friends as well..
I am a newbie here... I know my advice was not good enough but please don't try to blame God.. remember that God has put our brains in the head so that we can think first. and our head is the most superior of all our body parts. So think before you act. I know it is hard but just try your best and be confident of yourself.. Sometimes we blame God but at the end of the day you will realized that God has a special plan for you.

 

[mykim]

I don't know how does your story goes.. but keep your faith unto the Lord.. If you can't resist the temptation try doing other stuff while talking to other people so you'll entertained yourself and got a lot pf friends as well..
I am a newbie here... I know my advice was not good enough but please don't try to blame God.. remember that God has put our brains in the head so that we can think first. and our head is the most superior of all our body parts. So think before you act. I know it is hard but just try your best and be confident of yourself.. Sometimes we blame God but at the end of the day you will realized that God has a special plan for you.

I could never blame God now. If anything, I wish he could reveal his plan for me. That is hard to imagine though because I am so useless to him in my current state.

If anything I blame my mother for giving me this defective body. I have a strong resentment towards her because of this. She suffered from lymphoma in her early 20s and went through chemo and radiation. I was born prematurely because of that and inherited severely degraded and mutated genetics. After all, a sick mother can never give birth to a healthy child

 

[ServantStrike]

I know I will be single because I will never approach a woman and try to get to know her. Fact is, I am physically gross and mingling with people is a challenge for me. I already mentioned this before, but I absolutely hate my cold sweaty hands. I dread handshakes because of it.

I could not even imagine holding hands with a woman or trying to be intimate with her. Obviously there are many other things that I don't like about my body but that is a big one. Christian fellowship is important for overcoming the rigors of being single and I am afraid to take part of that thanks to my defective body.

I need to pray for the strength to actually delete the videos, but a part of me is telling me that I will regret if do that. After all, I got no friends, no hope of making friends, no hope of finding a wife, and am isolated most of the time.

And I already told you if you walked up to me in the grocery store I'd shake your sweaty, shaky hand. Give women a bit more credit than you're giving them.

This "I'm gross" thing sounds like a lie that you're buying. I've met some of the fattest most disgusting slobs on the planet who are married to some of the most beautiful women on the planet. And stop focusing on outward appearances any ways. It's just not that important.

I could never blame God now. If anything, I wish he could reveal his plan for me. That is hard to imagine though because I am so useless to him in my current state.

If anything I blame my mother for giving me this defective body. I have a strong resentment towards her because of this. She suffered from lymphoma in her early 20s and went through chemo and radiation. I was born prematurely because of that and inherited severely degraded and mutated genetics. After all, a sick mother can never give birth to a healthy child

How degraded? And is that a medical doctor's opinion, or your own?

And seriously, cursing the day you were born went out of style with the book of Job. It's not a healthy outlook. And if you talk like that, you WILL scare women off. Women look for how you treat the other women in your life and whether or not you respect them more than they do for a strong jaw line, rock hard abs, or being 6+ feet tall.

Let people help you through this struggle. Things will be much clearer for you in the future if you fight this!

 

[mykim]

And I already told you if you walked up to me in the grocery store I'd shake your sweaty, shaky hand. Give women a bit more credit than you're giving them.

This "I'm gross" thing sounds like a lie that you're buying. I've met some of the fattest most disgusting slobs on the planet who are married to some of the most beautiful women on the planet. And stop focusing on outward appearances any ways. It's just not that important.

It's just something that I cannot overcome. There are tons of people who have given me weak handshakes because of it. Some even called me out about it. Handshakes are one thing but something more intimate like holding hands would be uncomfortable. How can i even imagine putting my hands on a woman's shoulder? I would just gross her out with my sweat and coldness.

Makes me envious of people who have warm dry hands.

How degraded? And is that a medical doctor's opinion, or your own?

And seriously, cursing the day you were born went out of style with the book of Job. It's not a healthy outlook. And if you talk like that, you WILL scare women off. Women look for how you treat the other women in your life and whether or not you respect them more than they do for a strong jaw line, rock hard abs, or being 6+ feet tall.

Let people help you through this struggle. Things will be much clearer for you in the future if you fight this!

I am very into naturopathic health because modern medicine just fails and there i follow this expert's videos on youtube. He has helped stage 4 cancer patients recover and people with MS walk again. I have learned a lot about health and disease from his videos and I know how messed up my health and genetics are especially thanks to my mother.

I even know what causes my hands and body to be so gross but I can't do anything about it due to financial reasons.

 

[ServantStrike]

Quit pushing us away...

It's 6 pages and we're trying to help you, but every time someone makes progress you come back with "I can't."


You're confusing I can't with I won't. You CAN through Christ but it seems you won't because you keep coming up with excuses. There is no quick overnight fix. You have to trudge through and drive on in Christ.

Get your spiritual house in order. Trash the porn and stop trashing yourself. Claim the victory that Christ gave you. You are a new creation. You will feel more confident, and no one can take that away from you.

And get off of the physical attractiveness thing, it's just not that important.

My mom, she was disabled before I was born, she ended up married and has been for a good 30 years. Do you really think physical attractiveness or perfect health are the only criteria for selection? Have you ever seen anyone at age 80 who looks like a shadow of their younger self? How about age 90? 100?

A good woman shouldn't be looking at just physical attractiveness, nor should a good man. Let the unwise do that and end up divorced at age 50 when one or both of them tries trading up for a new model.

What a woman will look for is how you carry yourself. Do you follow Christ, and do you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made? Will you treat her like crap or will you respect her.


I got a parastic infection at age 12.5 and have been sick until today. Relapse after relapse (which were partially my fault for overdoing it), and finally I'm seeing my life come back. I sit at home every day unemployed and waiting to finally use my degree (job searching is exhausting). You don't think I might not worry sometimes? I have a perishiable Computer Science degree and I'm a graduate school drop out (health). I praise Jesus because my health is finally returning and my illness drew me to Him.


I'm not giving up. Christ didn't die so I could give up. Christianity is standing strong on broken knees. Stand with me man!

 

[mykim]

Quit pushing us away...

It's 6 pages and we're trying to help you, but every time someone makes progress you come back with "I can't."


You're confusing I can't with I won't. You CAN through Christ but it seems you won't because you keep coming up with excuses. There is no quick overnight fix. You have to trudge through and drive on in Christ.

Get your spiritual house in order. Trash the porn and stop trashing yourself. Claim the victory that Christ gave you. You are a new creation. You will feel more confident, and no one can take that away from you.

And get off of the physical attractiveness thing, it's just not that important.

My mom, she was disabled before I was born, she ended up married and has been for a good 30 years. Do you really think physical attractiveness or perfect health are the only criteria for selection? Have you ever seen anyone at age 80 who looks like a shadow of their younger self? How about age 90? 100?

A good woman shouldn't be looking at just physical attractiveness, nor should a good man. Let the unwise do that and end up divorced at age 50 when one or both of them tries trading up for a new model.

What a woman will look for is how you carry yourself. Do you follow Christ, and do you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made? Will you treat her like crap or will you respect her.


I got a parastic infection at age 12.5 and have been sick until today. Relapse after relapse (which were partially my fault for overdoing it), and finally I'm seeing my life come back. I sit at home every day unemployed and waiting to finally use my degree (job searching is exhausting). You don't think I might not worry sometimes? I have a perishiable Computer Science degree and I'm a graduate school drop out (health). I praise Jesus because my health is finally returning and my illness drew me to Him.


I'm not giving up. Christ didn't die so I could give up. Christianity is standing strong on broken knees. Stand with me man!

I am not trying to reject the advice. I am on day 2 of no porn should make it today. It's just that later down the road, I may not feel the same way. It does not help that i absolutely hate the idea of complete celibacy. It makes me cringe to be honest. i know that is the sinful nature in me but i cannot help it.

My unattractiveness/grossness is not the only thing that is preventing me from meeting women. My financial situation is a mess. I can't get good work and all of my attempts to make money on my own failed miserably. I even spent close to 30k on a stupid real estate mentor-ship program but that turned out to be a complete joke. It was not even tax deductible.

Women won't look at a man who can't support himself. My aunt retires next year so that means I cannot stay in the USA if I don't figure something out. My current living situation is a joke. I live with my mother and brother in a small rental house. My mom and brother can't support themselves either so we are at the mercy of our aunt helping us.


I would have no choice but to go back to South Korea to live with my grandma and uncle. That itself is a problem because I have dual citizenship and will have to serve 2 years in the korean army just to live there.

The army is not an option for me because I am on a low fat vegan diet due to my health problems. The korean army does not even cater to people with special diets. So my options are serve in the korean army for 2 years, or go to a korean prison for 2 years, or become homeless. You can see why I am so negative and hopeless.

Sometimes I wish I had just stayed in Korea instead of coming to the states for my education. At least the lousy military service would have been done and over with and the housing situation would be more stable.

 

[PopClick]

the work is so unfullfilling that I end up getting fired anyway.

Do you mean that they fire you because they gave you unfulfilling tasks, or do you mean that you get fired because you don't put your heart and soul into what you're doing? (Psst... it's not the first one.)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters."

Seriously. Get it together. This is far more fixable than you realize.

 

[UndRenovation]

Hi,

I have recently decided to accept jesus into my life, but I still have a lot of issues. Currently, I cannot find employment or make a living and also still single.

I am a 28 year old virgin and have never ever had a relationship or a woman in my life. This has caused me to become heavily addicted to pornography over the years. I also know that I am ugly and disgusting and will never be able to get married. I say that i am disgusting because my hands are always cold and sweaty and i have an ugly face. Also, women are just not interested in me.

What am I to do about this? I don't want to displease god but i cannot deal with being alone and dieing a kissless virgin. I need my pornography to ease the pain. I tried praying to god to help me resist, but I just can't. Is there any hope for me? I feel so miserable when I see happy christian couples. I know that i will never find love and marry.

Dude, that's awesome news that have become a Christian. Soon, if you haven't already, you will learn that the next stage of being a believer and following Christ is being a disciple. I really really encourage you mykim to find a church(I have no idea where your at with all that stuff so I am putting it out there), like I said, find a church that you can be a part of, or a Christian community of some sort where you can be honest with other blokes(guys) about your life so they can encourage you and teach you as well.

I would say that the most important thing for you to do at this stage in your faith journey is to learn about your new identity in Christ. You have been given an opportunity to start fresh and part of that new life and inheritance is learning how God sees you and how powerful the blood of Christ is. I wont say its impossible but doing this alone is SHIT, so having others walking with you and understanding what life is like for you during this this time is sooo important.

I am actually excited when I read your post, yep it may seem sad and lifeless but when I read it through my life experience and my faith journey, well all I can say is that God is so Awesome AT taking what appears to be nothing and turning it into something totally different brother. No matter how bad you thing you have it well your now dealing with the creator of the universe.

Find other guys who can travel the journey with you -and be really honest with them

Learn about your identity in Christ-we are all under renovation but the transformation starts now

Find a Christian community to connect with-you were not created to be alone

Speak to God and read the bible, this is part of the transformation process and your lifeline to your heavenly father who digs you heaps and has a life for you that you cannot imagine.

One day at a time dude-us humans often want growth to take place right away but honestly, what you have started by excepting Christ into your life, is a life long relationship, journey, growth and process. Can be annoying at times but that's why its important to have others in your life and plant yourself into a community. The father of lies will want you to have spiritual amnesia but having others to remind you of the journey is sooo good.

Peace to you

 

[keep_on_smiling]

You have received a lot of great advice, which often happens here on CC. It's wonderful that you have turned your life to God and I think maybe you thought that would change how "easy" life would be, but it's important to recognize a life in God, though is eternally rewarding, it's not easy. Your problems are not going to just disappear.

After reading your highly negative passages, one after another, you sounds just like my brothers. Quite honestly it doesn't sound like you WANT to change. The Lord lets us have choice, that's what is so wonderful about life in Christ, it's that he gives us free will. You need to WANT to change.

You truly are making good steps by going to church, going to groups to help with your addiction, BUT if you don't want to change it's not going to help.

You need to WANT to change not for yourself, but for GOD. Though we shouldn't put God in a box, your life most likely isn't going to change over night.

-Try reading your bible daily. His word (the bible) is food we need to keep us alive. He feeds us through it.

- Get a job- humble yourself and keep looking. You already can't support yourself and you're alone, so what do you have to lose. (I don't mean to be harsh, but it's not going to help you to wallow in your negative self-worth.) Any experience is better than none. I honestly wouldn't hire someone so negative, so make sure to be positive at your interviews and go in with a grateful heart for the interview.

-Try being positive. Start off for a day and work yourself up. Only think on positive things.

You've admitted to not wanting to stop with porn and you give excuse after excuse why you need it. Overcoming this struggle can not be done if you don't want it to be.


Think and pray about what you want. The Lord will help you if you really do want to change, BUT you need to make an effort even it makes you uncomfortable.

 

[Fenner]

I'm glad you came here for advice. I also hope that you seek help from a psychologist and join a group that deals with sex addiction. A professional can help you over come these issues. In a group setting with people struggling with the same thing, you'll meet people who can relate to your addiction and tell you how they have dealt with it.

Your not a failure, unfortunately the job market is terrible right now. I don't know if your parents are supportive of you and know how depressed you are, or they have no clue. But looking for a job even at a store somewhere will get you out of the house and away from isolation and your addiction.

Regardless please seek professional help. Maybe you need medication, there is no shame in that. I will share that I take something for anxiety everyday. And I have over the years seen a psychologist when I need to.

Depression is not something everyone can just kick. It's an actual medical problem and seeing someone for it will help you. If you don't have insurance check into free mental health help in your area.

No one can make you do these things, you have to want to get out and do these things for yourself. God wants you to live your life to the fullest. Please seek help.

God Bless you.

 

[mykim]

Do you mean that they fire you because they gave you unfulfilling tasks, or do you mean that you get fired because you don't put your heart and soul into what you're doing? (Psst... it's not the first one.)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters."

Seriously. Get it together. This is far more fixable than you realize.

I wish it was that easy. Like I said, I can't stay in the USA when my aunt retires. To do that I would need a good job that covers the rent and other bills. I am pretty much an invalid now, so getting good work is out of the question.

Dude, that's awesome news that have become a Christian. Soon, if you haven't already, you will learn that the next stage of being a believer and following Christ is being a disciple. I really really encourage you mykim to find a church(I have no idea where your at with all that stuff so I am putting it out there), like I said, find a church that you can be a part of, or a Christian community of some sort where you can be honest with other blokes(guys) about your life so they can encourage you and teach you as well.

I would say that the most important thing for you to do at this stage in your faith journey is to learn about your new identity in Christ. You have been given an opportunity to start fresh and part of that new life and inheritance is learning how God sees you and how powerful the blood of Christ is. I wont say its impossible but doing this alone is SHIT, so having others walking with you and understanding what life is like for you during this this time is sooo important.

I am actually excited when I read your post, yep it may seem sad and lifeless but when I read it through my life experience and my faith journey, well all I can say is that God is so Awesome AT taking what appears to be nothing and turning it into something totally different brother. No matter how bad you thing you have it well your now dealing with the creator of the universe.

Find other guys who can travel the journey with you -and be really honest with them

Learn about your identity in Christ-we are all under renovation but the transformation starts now

Find a Christian community to connect with-you were not created to be alone

Speak to God and read the bible, this is part of the transformation process and your lifeline to your heavenly father who digs you heaps and has a life for you that you cannot imagine.

One day at a time dude-us humans often want growth to take place right away but honestly, what you have started by excepting Christ into your life, is a life long relationship, journey, growth and process. Can be annoying at times but that's why its important to have others in your life and plant yourself into a community. The father of lies will want you to have spiritual amnesia but having others to remind you of the journey is sooo good.

Peace to you

I do go to church regularly and am reading part of the new testament every day. I do pray but wish God would speak to me somehow and let me know that I will be ok.

You have received a lot of great advice, which often happens here on CC. It's wonderful that you have turned your life to God and I think maybe you thought that would change how "easy" life would be, but it's important to recognize a life in God, though is eternally rewarding, it's not easy. Your problems are not going to just disappear.

After reading your highly negative passages, one after another, you sounds just like my brothers. Quite honestly it doesn't sound like you WANT to change. The Lord lets us have choice, that's what is so wonderful about life in Christ, it's that he gives us free will. You need to WANT to change.

You truly are making good steps by going to church, going to groups to help with your addiction, BUT if you don't want to change it's not going to help.

You need to WANT to change not for yourself, but for GOD. Though we shouldn't put God in a box, your life most likely isn't going to change over night.

-Try reading your bible daily. His word (the bible) is food we need to keep us alive. He feeds us through it.

- Get a job- humble yourself and keep looking. You already can't support yourself and you're alone, so what do you have to lose. (I don't mean to be harsh, but it's not going to help you to wallow in your negative self-worth.) Any experience is better than none. I honestly wouldn't hire someone so negative, so make sure to be positive at your interviews and go in with a grateful heart for the interview.

-Try being positive. Start off for a day and work yourself up. Only think on positive things.

You've admitted to not wanting to stop with porn and you give excuse after excuse why you need it. Overcoming this struggle can not be done if you don't want it to be.


Think and pray about what you want. The Lord will help you if you really do want to change, BUT you need to make an effort even it makes you uncomfortable.

It's not that i don't want to change. It's just really difficult for me to make a big change. My life is so messed up right now and I don't know how to deal with any of it. I said that I will most likely die a lonely old virgin. To add more salt to the wound, I learned that people who die virgins end up being virgins even after the resurrection because sexuality disappears. Do you think that helps me in my current situation? If anything it just pressures me to try premarital sex with an escort because I will never get to experience it otherwise.

As for jobs, a minimum wage job will not pay the bills. My aunt retires soon, and that means I can't stay in the USA. I am in a bad place now, so it is really hard to have a positive attitude. But I pray that the lord will make me understand him better so I dont feel so depressed about everything including life in heaven and the resurrection.

I'm glad you came here for advice. I also hope that you seek help from a psychologist and join a group that deals with sex addiction. A professional can help you over come these issues. In a group setting with people struggling with the same thing, you'll meet people who can relate to your addiction and tell you how they have dealt with it.

Your not a failure, unfortunately the job market is terrible right now. I don't know if your parents are supportive of you and know how depressed you are, or they have no clue. But looking for a job even at a store somewhere will get you out of the house and away from isolation and your addiction.

Regardless please seek professional help. Maybe you need medication, there is no shame in that. I will share that I take something for anxiety everyday. And I have over the years seen a psychologist when I need to.

Depression is not something everyone can just kick. It's an actual medical problem and seeing someone for it will help you. If you don't have insurance check into free mental health help in your area.

No one can make you do these things, you have to want to get out and do these things for yourself. God wants you to live your life to the fullest. Please seek help.

God Bless you.

I am against medication so taking meds for depression is not an option for me. I know why I am depressed so it's a bit different. Some people are depressed for no reason and they need their meds. In my case, I am depressed because of my decrepit body and financial situation. Also trying to be mentally and physically celibate for God makes me depressed.

Knowing that I will never have that special somebody in my life and being a virgin for eternity after the resurrection just causes me great distress. I don't know what God will replace that void with and that scares me. We are sexual beings after all, and the fact that our sexuality disappears in heaven and post resurrection just freaks me out.

 

[prodigious1one]

MyKim,

you are not ugly! You're a handsome guy. You will find a job eventually. Are you waiting to have a job before you seek to date a Christian woman? That's what I intend to do.

I'm 27 and I will be 28 on December 13th. I feel VERY MUCH like you, man. Don't give up. We're going through the same thing and we'll find women for us on God's time.

Have faith in yourself and try your best with the Word of God to resist looking at pornography and to stop maturbating. Those are also MY greatest sins. I have been battling them for a LONG Time since I was about 10 years old. I HATE that I suffer with this, but you and I can make it through the battle and win. We both just have to resist the temptation to look at pornography and to keep our minds and bodies pure for God.

Send me a message if you want to communicate further.

Also pray that God deliver you from pornography and find others who can support you through your spiritual battle against pornography. Also remember to feel good about yourself and NEVER call yourself ugly. You have to love yourself first before you can love a woman properly.

Grace and peace unto you,

Aaron

 

[xXErraticEmilyXx]

No woman wants a pessimistic man. Be proud of what you've got and let it make you rough around the edges.
Also, there's plenty of people who are married or in a relationship who watch pornography. There's more to lust than just sex.

 

[Destiny25]

Seek professional help and maybe medication. You have a chemical imbalance and God gave us tools to help

 

[mykim]

MyKim,

you are not ugly! You're a handsome guy. You will find a job eventually. Are you waiting to have a job before you seek to date a Christian woman? That's what I intend to do.

I'm 27 and I will be 28 on December 13th. I feel VERY MUCH like you, man. Don't give up. We're going through the same thing and we'll find women for us on God's time.

Have faith in yourself and try your best with the Word of God to resist looking at pornography and to stop maturbating. Those are also MY greatest sins. I have been battling them for a LONG Time since I was about 10 years old. I HATE that I suffer with this, but you and I can make it through the battle and win. We both just have to resist the temptation to look at pornography and to keep our minds and bodies pure for God.

Send me a message if you want to communicate further.

Also pray that God deliver you from pornography and find others who can support you through your spiritual battle against pornography. Also remember to feel good about yourself and NEVER call yourself ugly. You have to love yourself first before you can love a woman properly.

Grace and peace unto you,

Aaron

Thanks for your encouragement. I think I am making progress. I finally managed to delete my porn from my computer. I thought I would never be able to do that.

No woman wants a pessimistic man. Be proud of what you've got and let it make you rough around the edges.
Also, there's plenty of people who are married or in a relationship who watch pornography. There's more to lust than just sex.

I realized that I don't need a woman to be happy after having an epiphany a couple of days ago. Lust is still a problem for me though.

Seek professional help and maybe medication. You have a chemical imbalance and God gave us tools to help

I am depressed because of my poverty and bad health/genetics. I also probably have a thyroid issue, which might also contribute to my depression. I am against medication because I only believe in natural health.

 

[mykim]

I thought I would share an update. For a while, I was having many ups and downs. Some days, I would manage to not look at porn. I was just managing my addiction poorly. Eventually, I became consumed by my lust, always thinking about women who i can never have. I even started to resent God for making these rules about sex. I just chose lust over Christ all the time and felt miserable. I felt like I was losing my salvation because of my intense lust for beautiful women.

But two days ago, I read an article about lust and replacing it with Christ. It did not make sense at all at first. I did not know how Christ can possibly replace my lust. But I realized that God is love and that I was just trying to settle for something a lot less. God's love is all I need and it will sustain me. I ended up crying for some reason after reading the article.

I may end up being single and lonely due to my financial failures and physical inadequacies. But as long as I have God's love, I know I will not become a slave to my lust again. I think I am only beginning my recovery after 5 months of accepting Christ as my savior. It was only two days ago where my addiction and lust was spiraling out of control. I have had 2 days of victory so far and I am hoping for many more years of sobriety.

I just wish I could experience God's love more intensely in my life. I still feel like an outsider even at christian young adult gatherings. I think loneliness is the next thing I have to tackle.

I know I have a lot kinks to work out but at least, I know that my lust is starting to be under control.

 

[thecreationtutor]

Hi,

I have recently decided to accept jesus into my life, but I still have a lot of issues. Currently, I cannot find employment or make a living and also still single.

I am a 28 year old virgin and have never ever had a relationship or a woman in my life. This has caused me to become heavily addicted to pornography over the years. I also know that I am ugly and disgusting and will never be able to get married. I say that i am disgusting because my hands are always cold and sweaty and i have an ugly face. Also, women are just not interested in me.

What am I to do about this? I don't want to displease god but i cannot deal with being alone and dieing a kissless virgin. I need my pornography to ease the pain. I tried praying to god to help me resist, but I just can't. Is there any hope for me? I feel so miserable when I see happy christian couples. I know that i will never find love and marry.

Mykim - awesome that you have come to know the Lord!

It sounds like you have to come to know the Lord as your all in all - to get your identity from him, your comfort from him, you hope from Him,

If you are in Christ = Romans 6:11 you have to reckon yourself dead to sin and alive to God in Jesus Christ

You have heart issues from your previous life outside of Christ - that He wants to deal with and change in you. I got saved around the same age - and it's taken all the way till now to really root that out of my life

pornography is sin

sex in the marriage bed is to be honored

focusing on what you don't have is what will create fantasies of thought which lead to action - and sin

i would recommend a few books

Who do you think you Are? - Mark Driscoll
When good men are tempted - Bill perkins
manhood restored - Eric Mason

Get accountability - James 5:16 confess your sins to others(men) pray and be healed

hope this helps