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*has thought about going into Bible and other Forums to post what personal, educational (gone through some college for it, and soon to be seminary), and collectively researched knowledge, belief, and conviction he has toward several deeply meaningful and life changing things*
*still feels some conviction or 'sway' toward doing so, but thought again...*
*still feels some conviction or 'sway' toward doing so, but thought again...*
I was just there too....don't know which thread you visited but the one I was in (over dispensation - the pre-tribber/post-tribber debate) was quite fascinating.
not being sarcastic for once.
not being sarcastic for once.
I was reading The Trinity is a lie. It's a mass of arguing. I've never seen a thread in there that doesn't become a mass of debate. Sometimes people get kind of nasty. Not my cup of tea.
Tonight, there are many churches gathering at a local high school for a "Praise Night". Apparently it's a big deal. Local artwork (I'm guessing by fellow church people) is displayed as well. One of my friends asked if I could bring some of my artwork. There are 3 pieces I'm bringing. It's the first time they will be in public. Up until now, they were just in my sketchbook. At first I was nervous, I can be reserved with my art (mainly I do it for myself more than to show), but now I'm just like "Meh, okay" because they're small pieces and there will be other artwork there so mine will hardly be isolated or showcased.
M
When I was a teenager, I honestly thought that my life would be easier if nobody ever expected anything of me; if they saw zero potential in me. That way, any time I failed, nobody would've been surprised or disappointed because that would've been what they expected.
Now, I've realized that it just...hurts...to have someone you care about have such low expectations of you. Because no matter how you try, no matter what you do or say or accomplish, you still feel like you failed in their eyes. If someone is utterly convinced that you cannot succeed at anything, then they are not going to be able to see your successes.
Now, I've realized that it just...hurts...to have someone you care about have such low expectations of you. Because no matter how you try, no matter what you do or say or accomplish, you still feel like you failed in their eyes. If someone is utterly convinced that you cannot succeed at anything, then they are not going to be able to see your successes.
Nevermind the art thing. My ride was late and we didn't get there in time to put the art up. Oh well.
After the event, my friends and I went out to eat. It was a huge group, 30 people, and I get very quiet in large groups, and it seemed I was in the middle of two of them so I felt out of place and alone. It got better, but I accidentally drew attention to myself by breaking a glass cup very loudly. The ENTIRE table got really quiet and looked over, it was that dramatic. I have no idea how I did it, I was holding it right above the table! I think I felt it slip and tried to grab it but ended up pushing it down on the table.
After the event, my friends and I went out to eat. It was a huge group, 30 people, and I get very quiet in large groups, and it seemed I was in the middle of two of them so I felt out of place and alone. It got better, but I accidentally drew attention to myself by breaking a glass cup very loudly. The ENTIRE table got really quiet and looked over, it was that dramatic. I have no idea how I did it, I was holding it right above the table! I think I felt it slip and tried to grab it but ended up pushing it down on the table.
J
Nevermind the art thing. My ride was late and we didn't get there in time to put the art up. Oh well.
After the event, my friends and I went out to eat. It was a huge group, 30 people, and I get very quiet in large groups, and it seemed I was in the middle of two of them so I felt out of place and alone. It got better, but I accidentally drew attention to myself by breaking a glass cup very loudly. The ENTIRE table got really quiet and looked over, it was that dramatic. I have no idea how I did it, I was holding it right above the table! I think I felt it slip and tried to grab it but ended up pushing it down on the table.
After the event, my friends and I went out to eat. It was a huge group, 30 people, and I get very quiet in large groups, and it seemed I was in the middle of two of them so I felt out of place and alone. It got better, but I accidentally drew attention to myself by breaking a glass cup very loudly. The ENTIRE table got really quiet and looked over, it was that dramatic. I have no idea how I did it, I was holding it right above the table! I think I felt it slip and tried to grab it but ended up pushing it down on the table.
Rough day
J
Alzheimer's is such a horrible disease. A family member is suffering from this. Breaks my heart. She wants to die and cannot. She is trying to starve herself. Tears my heart out to watch.
Please pray for her. I want so much to bring her home with me, but I have no legal authority to do so. Her children do.
Please pray for her. I want so much to bring her home with me, but I have no legal authority to do so. Her children do.
Sooo yesterday afternoon, I got back home from my weekend trip. It was a good time. It was great to just take a break from EVERYTHING. Computers, cell phones (we could have them, but they weren't much good because there was noooo cell signal.), and pretty much all pressures.
The bad part was, I slept terrible that weekend. On Saturday, I had 3 cups of coffee. That's the most I've had in a while. And yesterday I was so tired, I totally accidentally thought one of the girls from the other church group that was with us this weekend was someone from our group and called her the wrong name. I'm so awkward... but it's hard when you're in a fog from being tired and coming down with a cold (yup...I could barely talk this morning. But I'm remedying this.)
I also went hiking with some of the girls (including 2 girl leaders) from my group. There was this BIG rock ledge that we were going to go down and stand on and take a picture. Well, we did do that. On the way down, I stepped on a slippery part of the hill (which was covered by leaves. Gotta love autumn), and I went down.
I got up pretty quick, but my foot hurt. I thought to myself, "I better be careful going down this next step." I stepped on ANOTHER slippery part of the hill and went down again, ON THE SAME FOOT. That also hurt pretty bad. But I decided not to be a baby and continued hiking with them. I went about halfway before I turned to one of the youth leaders and said, "I'm ready to go back, I'm tired and my foot hurts." (there were a LOT of STEEP hills. I thought I was getting better about getting in shape till I took that hiking trail. Whoo, it was intense. lol)
I also had youth group yesterday evening (which we had an AMAZING keyboardist there!), which I had enough energy for since I took a 2 hour nap yesterday after I got home.
Don't get me wrong, though. I had a GREAT time. Lots of laughs, lots of fellowship and praising Jesus. In spite of the goof-ups and slip-ups (more like downfalls), I felt extremely blessed to be there this weekend. I'm just REALLY sore (my whole left leg hurts, along with my throat. >.<) and need some prayer for that.
I hope you guys had a great weekend!!
It was great to just take a break from EVERYTHING. Computers, cell phones (we could have them, but they weren't much good because there was noooo cell signal.), and pretty much all pressures. The bad part was, I slept terrible that weekend. On Saturday, I had 3 cups of coffee. That's the most I've had in a while.
And yesterday I was so tired, I totally accidentally thought one of the girls from the other church group that was with us this weekend was someone from our group and called her the wrong name. I'm so awkward... but it's hard when you're in a fog from being tired and coming down with a cold (yup...I could barely talk this morning. But I'm remedying this.) I also went hiking with some of the girls (including 2 girl leaders) from my group. There was this BIG rock ledge that we were going to go down and stand on and take a picture. Well, we did do that. On the way down, I stepped on a slippery part of the hill (which was covered by leaves. Gotta love autumn), and I went down.
I got up pretty quick, but my foot hurt. I thought to myself, "I better be careful going down this next step." I stepped on ANOTHER slippery part of the hill and went down again, ON THE SAME FOOT. That also hurt pretty bad. But I decided not to be a baby and continued hiking with them. I went about halfway before I turned to one of the youth leaders and said, "I'm ready to go back, I'm tired and my foot hurts." (there were a LOT of STEEP hills. I thought I was getting better about getting in shape till I took that hiking trail.
Whoo, it was intense. lol) I also had youth group yesterday evening (which we had an AMAZING keyboardist there!), which I had enough energy for since I took a 2 hour nap yesterday after I got home.
Don't get me wrong, though. I had a GREAT time.
Lots of laughs, lots of fellowship and praising Jesus. In spite of the goof-ups and slip-ups (more like downfalls), I felt extremely blessed to be there this weekend. I'm just REALLY sore (my whole left leg hurts, along with my throat. >.<) and need some prayer for that. I hope you guys had a great weekend!!
As much as I want to be in love, it's hard enough to love those around me and those who enter my life. But like all cravings, this feeling will subside.
I have no time to nurse this cold. I have to work hard, and work harder after that. Because if I work hard, then I will be seen as a man to my family. If I care, then I will be seen as a man to the women in my life. If I give the majority of my pay, then I will be seen as a "good" man. If I help my brothers and my sisters with whatever I can give, then I will be seen as a man. If I continue to love those around me selflessly, I will not be happy. If sacrificing my happiness means having at least a small amount health in my relationship with them then it will be worth the pain, and maybe even worth death.
I have no time to nurse this cold. I have to work hard, and work harder after that. Because if I work hard, then I will be seen as a man to my family. If I care, then I will be seen as a man to the women in my life. If I give the majority of my pay, then I will be seen as a "good" man. If I help my brothers and my sisters with whatever I can give, then I will be seen as a man. If I continue to love those around me selflessly, I will not be happy. If sacrificing my happiness means having at least a small amount health in my relationship with them then it will be worth the pain, and maybe even worth death.