'No' means 'Yes.' Should guys ask a girl out again quickly after she's said 'no' ?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Should guy ask you out again quickly after you've said 'no' the first ask, miladiy ?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 10.0%
  • No

    Votes: 18 90.0%

  • Total voters
    20
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#1
Should we, miladies :)

Why ?

Why not ?

For the poll, I purposefully left out 'maybe' as a choice. I felt it explains little in the big scheme of things, which is to help guys understand just what the rejection response can REALLY mean .

What makes you say 'yes' immediately after meeting a guy in a grocery store line who asks you out? Should he offer his phone number if you say 'no' in this situation because you will never see him again quite likely?

What percent of the time do you say 'yes' after he asks you out that first chance meeting and do you expect him to come back, to the bank, to the library, or, wherever you work, the next day to re-ask you out? Or, is a week wait best?

Do you want a guy you meet to ask you out that first time he comes through your grocery line or do you want him to make small talk that first time, get to know you some, and, come back again a few days or so later and THEN ask you out?
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,504
2,571
113
#2
Never ask a question unless you already know the answer.

That's a good rule for business, and it also keeps you from getting slapped by the ladies...
mostly.

: )
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#3
Never ask a question unless you already know the answer.

That's a good rule for business, and it also keeps you from getting slapped by the ladies...
mostly.

: )
You didn't vote, did you, wellmaxsmart :D

No, that's fine, guys opinions matter, too.


You don't know the answer though, bro, that's why you are asking her out :)
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#4
If it's all done politely and he's not too pushy about it, I don't see any harm in it.

I do believe that is what happened with my Aunt and my Uncle many decades ago. :) He had to ask her out lots of times before she eventually said yes. And they later ended up getting married, had kids, and grew old together.
 

Cherry4Christ

Junior Member
Nov 16, 2013
21
0
1
#5
I would say no. She said no for a reason the first time. The second time you might get an answer you might not like.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,504
2,571
113
#6
If it's all done politely and he's not too pushy about it, I don't see any harm in it.

I do believe that is what happened with my Aunt and my Uncle many decades ago. :) He had to ask her out lots of times before she eventually said yes. And they got married and grew old together.
So we should just keep asking a girl out till she collapses from exhaustion?

Yeah... I could do that.

Thanks.

: )
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#7
If you don't see any harm in it, rel, then, why did you vote 'no.'


Or, was that WELLMAXSMART ! :D


OK, just so the guys no, this poll is NOT for you :)
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#8
I would say no. She said no for a reason the first time. The second time you might get an answer you might not like.
I can see both sides. That's why I didn't vote.

I vote the invisible "maybe" option (sorry Green). :p
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,504
2,571
113
#9
I didn't vote either.

I'm strictly relegating myself to obnoxious comments only.
:)
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#10
So we should just keep asking a girl out till she collapses from exhaustion?

Yeah... I could do that.

Thanks.

: )
No, definitely, NOT a good idea, maxwell, NOT smart. But, i've heard, anyway,that a girl says 'no,' sometimes, and, really, just wants to know if the guy really likes her so she says 'no.' Soooooo, I just wanted to get a 'yes' or 'no' on that from a


WHOLE BUNCH of miladies . And, see if we can have a definitive answer on the subject :)


------------------------
LOL, rel, yeah, 'maybe.' I just was thinking I would not get an answer for guys to understand if I had 'maybe' in there, too.

I'm MAKING you decide, one or the other, no 'maybe' about it :D
 
D

DecentGuy

Guest
#11
Should we, miladies :)

Why ?

Why not ?

For the poll, I purposefully left out 'maybe' as a choice. I felt it explains little in the big scheme of things, which is to help guys understand just what the rejection response can REALLY mean .

What makes you say 'yes' immediately after meeting a guy in a grocery store line who asks you out? Should he offer his phone number if you say 'no' in this situation because you will never see him again quite likely?

What percent of the time do you say 'yes' after he asks you out that first chance meeting and do you expect him to come back, to the bank, to the library, or, wherever you work, the next day to re-ask you out? Or, is a week wait best?

Do you want a guy you meet to ask you out that first time he comes through your grocery line or do you want him to make small talk that first time, get to know you some, and, come back again a few days or so later and THEN ask you out?
Personally, I would smile and say hello, perhaps the next time you meet...maybe a connection, find common ground and interests, let nature take its course

JMO
DecentGuy
 

Cherry4Christ

Junior Member
Nov 16, 2013
21
0
1
#12
It becomes very annoying if a guy ask me out like several times. I simply say no thank but still have the urge to yell no. Lol. It's best to find someone who will say yes instead of pursuing a person who said no.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#13
Personally, I would smile and say hello, perhaps the next time you meet...maybe a connection, find common ground and interests, let nature take its course

JMO
DecentGuy
OK, great.

Now, after all that connecting, you ask her out and she says 'no.' Did you find out that the common ground you'd thought you set was really unsettling? Or, should you go home, and, come back the next day and say, 'Hey, I really like you. I asked you out wrong last time, I should have said, 'I think you're drop-dead gorgeous and yeah that's what I should have said instead of 'Will you go out with me?'

Anyway, stick around, bro, MAYBE, just MAYBE, we will be getting some good answers from the miladies :)

It becomes very annoying if a guy ask me out like several times. I simply say no thank but still have the urge to yell no. Lol. It's best to find someone who will say yes instead of pursuing a person who said no.
Yeah, I agree, I am definitely not talking about asking a girl out 'several times,' cherryforHim. I am talking about a first ask that, who knows, MAYBE, like I just said, just wasn't said right, or, maybe, just maybe, this girl is wanting you to really like her and just come back again and re-ask her out. But, TWICE, I'm thinking that's IT !

If she says 'no' the 2nd time, you HANDLE the double reJection with a polite smile, and, maybe, 'OK, I get it, sorry, to have asked you twice and seemed creepy but I just wanted to make sure I was doing what the Lord was leading me to do. So, I did it.'

Then, you go and pray she might say as you are fading off into the distance, 'Hey, come back.' :)
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#14
Well, it is not a yes or no question. ^

It's a maybe question. It depends on many factors.

Are they friends? (yes, he should try again if he really likes her, it's better than living a lie)
Is he a stranger? (no... he probably shouldn't ask more than once unless they exchange numbers and talk for a bit, and only if it goes well)
Is she shy? (maybe he should try again if he wants, just once, a week later)
Is she saying no for reasons having to do with her life being a chaotic mess right now? (yes he could ask again if he wants, but give her some time)
Is she comfortable in his presence? (yes, he could ask again...but don't push if the vibes aren't right)
Has she shown signs of being absolutely disinterested in him? (no, he should respect her first answer and try someone else)


There, my crazy mix of yesses and nos. :p
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#15
Well, it is not a yes or no question. ^

It's a maybe question. It depends on many factors.

Are they friends? (yes, he should try again if he really likes her, it's better than living a lie)
Is he a stranger? (no... he probably shouldn't ask more than once unless they exchange numbers and talk for a bit, and only if it goes well)
Is she shy? (maybe he should try again if he wants, just once, a week later)
Is she saying no for reasons having to do with her life being a chaotic mess right now? (yes he could ask again if he wants, but give her some time)
Is she comfortable in his presence? (yes, he could ask again...but don't push if the vibes aren't right)
Has she shown signs of being absolutely disinterested in him? (no, he should respect her first answer and try someone else)


There, my crazy mix of yesses and nos. :p
Well, well-said, rel, yes, there are many reasons.

But, for the sake of answering your question of the relationship stage, I'm going to say you've, maybe, met the person a time or two before, or, no times at all, and, she is in a place where you can see her again, like she works at a bank, or, library, or grocery store, where you can go back and see her again. It's not like you know you will never see her again.

I'll say too, even if she is 'comfortable in his presence,' will she still say 'no.'

It's just her m.o. (method of operation) to say 'no' the first time and she KNOWS that if the guy really likes her he will ask her out a 2nd time. She wants someone who REALLY wants to go out with her.

HOpefully, maybe, this makes more sense. Yes? No? :D
 

dliz

Filipino Room/Forum Moderator
Jun 13, 2012
1,004
8
38
#16
When a girl says "No", guys should wait a certain period of time to ask her out again. But if the girl has no interest then might as well give it up. I agree it can be very annoying at times. Lol.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#17
When a girl says "No", guys should wait a certain period of time to ask her out again. But if the girl has no interest then might as well give it up. I agree it can be very annoying at times. Lol.


How long should we wait, deeelizee ? What is a 'certain period of time' in your view ?
 
J

Jecthel

Guest
#18
I think it should be a case to case basis. I mean, after all, everyone of us has our own unique love stories. There's always a reason behind a "NO" of a girl.
 

dliz

Filipino Room/Forum Moderator
Jun 13, 2012
1,004
8
38
#19


How long should we wait, deeelizee ? What is a 'certain period of time' in your view ?

Hahahaha. I really dont know the answer. Lol. Uhmm. if a guy is really persistent then there's nothing wrong with it but not in a stalkerish way. Sometimes girls just want to test guys whether they really sincere or not. LOL. I guess that is just our nature. lol
 
D

DecentGuy

Guest
#20
I still think, that if you meet the same person at the library, grocery store etc., only after exchanging smiles and pleasantries a few times, perhaps say something like "Hey, I'm going for coffee later, come with??

Maybe I am just shy,
DecentGuy