'No' means 'Yes.' Should guys ask a girl out again quickly after she's said 'no' ?

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Should guy ask you out again quickly after you've said 'no' the first ask, miladiy ?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 10.0%
  • No

    Votes: 18 90.0%

  • Total voters
    20
Dec 21, 2012
2,982
40
0
#21
I'm strictly relegating myself to obnoxious comments only.
Matt 7:18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither [can] a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#22
I thought this was a joke, (sorry Greennice) so I put yes, but no, don't do that.
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#23
No never means yes. Period.

But I know there are the girls (not women) who want to be asked multiple times. You don't want to waste your time with someone who is playing games or doesn't know her own mind.
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#24
No never means yes. Period.

But I know there are the girls (not women) who want to be asked multiple times. You don't want to waste your time with someone who is playing games or doesn't know her own mind.
winner.jpg

I'm not voting, cuz I'm a dude. But I totally agree with this. If she is playing games BEFORE the relationship, then what kind of games will she play DURING the relationship?
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,495
2,563
113
#25
Hahahaha. I really dont know the answer. Lol. Uhmm. if a guy is really persistent then there's nothing wrong with it but not in a stalkerish way. Sometimes girls just want to test guys whether they really sincere or not. LOL. I guess that is just our nature. lol
All joking aside...

I would NEVER ask a girl out a second time, if she said no.

Half of the world's population is female...
there is no reason to chase after any girl who has already said no.

If a girl wants a guy who will speak to her honestly, then she should do the same.
If I thought a girl was "testing" me, and playing little mind games, I would immediately walk away.
I refuse to play games with ANY girl... even a nice one.

Girls, seriously, if you want a guy who is straight with you, you need to be straight in return.

Honesty is an amazingly simple thing.
We should all give it a try.

: )
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#26
Yea, I definitely voted no. There are SOME situations where it's not inappropriate, but they're few and far between......I did it once when i was younger. I asked a girl out every time I seen her for 6 months straight. Had to have asked at least a dozen times. We always had a fun and friendly/playful thing going about it though, I never got butthurt about getting turned down and she never got annoyed. It got to the point where it was more like a running joke we both enjoyed.....she eventually said yes one day and we had a pretty intense relationship that lasted awhile.

Looking back, even though it worked out....it was pretty darn stupid of me....not because she ever got offended or uncomfortable but more because "Why on Earth did I put THAT much effort into her?"....lol, I still don't know why I invested so much energy into it.....I wasn't madly in love with her or anything. The idea just tickled my fancy at the time.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#27
If the guy asking is totally cocky, in love with himself, carries a small mirror everywhere, and is fully convinced that he is God's gift to women, this guy should not ask the same woman twice under any circumstances.
Guys like this are really bad at taking the hint...... :p
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#28
If a girl wants a guy who will speak to her honestly, then she should do the same.
If I thought a girl was "testing" me, and playing little mind games, I would immediately walk away.
I refuse to play games with ANY girl... even a nice one.
It's not really like they're trying to mess with your mind, at least what Dliz is talking about.....but if a woman is really curious about a guy having a certain quality.......she'll put him to the test to see if he has it, or see if he is just pretending. She's not just gonna flat out ask, because you can lie about that......can't lie when your put in a situation where your response to whatever she does is all she wants to know. I don't think that's a bad thing though, they do it to protect themselves. It helps them to weed out the type of men they want to avoid. If your being honest and genuine, whether she's "Testing" you or not really shouldn't matter at all.

I've never met a woman that does not do this in one way or another.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,495
2,563
113
#29
It's not really like they're trying to mess with your mind, at least what Dliz is talking about.....but if a woman is really curious about a guy having a certain quality.......she'll put him to the test to see if he has it, or see if he is just pretending. She's not just gonna flat out ask, because you can lie about that......can't lie when your put in a situation where your response to whatever she does is all she wants to know. I don't think that's a bad thing though, they do it to protect themselves. It helps them to weed out the type of men they want to avoid. If your being honest and genuine, whether she's "Testing" you or not really shouldn't matter at all.

I've never met a woman that does not do this in one way or another.
I think Dliz is a nice girl, and I don't think she'd intentionally hurt or deceive anyone.
But, I do think she's probably gotten some bad advice from her girlfriends.

For some reason, the people on CC make all this stuff way too complicated.
Guys, it isn't hard to talk to a girl.
Girls, it isn't hard to talk to a guy.
Just open your mouth, and talk.
It's really that simple.

If a girl says "no" when she really means "yes"... well... that's what we call LYING.

Personally, I don't want a girl who lies to me, or deceives me, for whatever reason.
I don't care if SHE thinks it's a good reason.
I don't want a girl who lies to me.

If other guys DO want a girl who lies to them... by all means... let them find girls who do that.

When men and women go around playing all of these little "games" with each other, saying one thing when they mean another... what they are actually doing is LYING.

If some people prefer that, then fine.

If someone wants to be lied to, then fine.

But it isn't what I want.
And it isn't something I tolerate.

I'm not trying to be harsh, or mean...
I just think people need to get real, and knock off all this foolishness.

It isn't necessary.

God Bless,
Max
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#30
Case by case situation dude.

Some women love reenacting their favorite romantic comedy, where the strangely oblivious, clumsy, clueless girl denies the guy, time and time again, only to "break down", say yes, and fall in love happily ever after. They love the idea of a gap being bridged bit by bit.

Play it by ear.
But if she starts calling the police, or older big brothers, then she's not trying to relive a romantic comedy. At that point she may be trying to relive a movie you don't want reenacted.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#31
I think Dliz is a nice girl, and I don't think she'd intentionally hurt or deceive anyone.
But, I do think she's probably gotten some bad advice from her girlfriends.

For some reason, the people on CC make all this stuff way too complicated.
Guys, it isn't hard to talk to a girl.
Girls, it isn't hard to talk to a guy.
Just open your mouth, and talk.
It's really that simple.

If a girl says "no" when she really means "yes"... well... that's what we call LYING.

Personally, I don't want a girl who lies to me, or deceives me, for whatever reason.
I don't care if SHE thinks it's a good reason.
I don't want a girl who lies to me.

If other guys DO want a girl who lies to them... by all means... let them find girls who do that.

When men and women go around playing all of these little "games" with each other, saying one thing when they mean another... what they are actually doing is LYING.

If some people prefer that, then fine.

If someone wants to be lied to, then fine.

But it isn't what I want.
And it isn't something I tolerate.

I'm not trying to be harsh, or mean...
I just think people need to get real, and knock off all this foolishness.

It isn't necessary.

God Bless,
Max
I don't like games either. If a guy I wasn't sure about asked me out but I wasn't totally against it, I'd probably say "I'll think about it", or "not right now". I'd save the no for when I really meant no.
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#32
I don't like games either. If a guy I wasn't sure about asked me out but I wasn't totally against it, I'd probably say "I'll think about it", or "not right now". I'd save the no for when I really meant no.
OK - if a gal says "no," then reconsiders and asks the dude if that offer to have coffee is still good...is SHE asking HIM out then? and if so what do those who equate asking a girl out to demonstrati g leadership have to say about this?
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#33
I don't like games either. If a guy I wasn't sure about asked me out but I wasn't totally against it, I'd probably say "I'll think about it", or "not right now". I'd save the no for when I really meant no.
There goes rel, reading my mind. But, yeah, that's what I was going to say, it's important, guys, that we READ the girl's body language as well as the actual words, and, if you need some examples of words need you look NO further than the above said ones by rel :)

The Lord leads. Some of you seem so dead-set on 'no,' and, I think, that just may lose you out, guys. wellmaxsmart, are you listening, bro :)

And, i get it, too. Sure, you don't want a girl who is playing games, but, isn't a legitimate reason for saying 'no' good enough for you, guys? If she's just trying to see what kind of reaction we will have to her 'no,' then, that works for me. It's not a reaction to hurt us either, she just wants a guy to be STRONG. And, if he can come back to her ,after she's rejected him ONcE, to ask her again, then, she could go crazy on you, that is true. But, she could also be all smiles.

Of all the answers said, I like deelizee's answer best, and, also, stilledwater, who says words , 'case by case situation.'

I agree, all girls are DIFFERENT and putting them all into the same box of how they 'screen' guys is not something we should do, plus, the Lord leads, as I believe, His Spirit in our temple, accompaying, helping our spirit :) And, we do not know her heart, like God does, and, He is leading her life and He just may be leading her life to say 'no' to you the FIRST time only :)
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,495
2,563
113
#34
OK - if a gal says "no," then reconsiders and asks the dude if that offer to have coffee is still good...is SHE asking HIM out then? and if so what do those who equate asking a girl out to demonstrati g leadership have to say about this?
I don't know about anyone else,
but it never threatens my manhood if a girl asks me out.

But I DO try to treat her the way I'd want to be treated:
if I'm not interested, I try to find a gentle way to turn down her offer, so I don't hurt her feelings.
(I prefer to be treated gently and kindly, so I'd do the same. )

But I never feel like it threatens my leadership.

If some guys feel differently... well... then that's perfectly fine.

I also think this is a bigger deal in other cultures.
 
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Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#35
As I stated in another thread, I asked my husband out first. He was very shy, I stated that I would not let his shyness stop me from talking to a cute man.
 
M

meggars

Guest
#36
It probably depends on how the first "No" was delivered. If you suspect she was just unsure for whatever reason, or too startled or nervous to come back with a yes (which would be me...I would never expect to be approached in the first place so my knee-jerk reaction would be "thanks, but no" just because I would need time to process the situation before I could give an affirmative answer but I'd feel like an immediate answer is necessary) then giving it a few days and trying again might do the trick. As long as you're a charming, nice feller....not a creepster. If you're in the check-out to purchase a shovel and you ask me if I'd like to see your backyard, the answer will always be no.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#37
It becomes very annoying if a guy ask me out like several times. I simply say no thank but still have the urge to yell no. Lol. It's best to find someone who will say yes instead of pursuing a person who said no.
sounds like a stalker type thing to me.

Greenie, if I were still dating I prefer this option: "make small talk that first time, get to know you some, and, come back again a few days or so later and THEN ask you out".

I want to actually know the guy a little bit before I agree to go or do anything with them. otherwise its kind of creepy.

If a guy kept asking me out over and over again after I said NO, then I would have my brothers scare him off.

however there is a difference between a NO and a maybe. Typically if I'm kind of interested I'll tell them to ask me again some other time, or tell them maybe. If I tell a guy no, then I typically mean no. sometimes I mean "no thanks" "there is no way on God's green earth." "no NO triple NO"
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#38
As I stated in another thread, I asked my husband out first. He was very shy, I stated that I would not let his shyness stop me from talking to a cute man.
The Lord leads, fen.

This, in my opinion, should be the exception, not the rule.
---------------------------------------------
Most guys should have the guts to ask a girl out. That's just how I see it. Rejection is a part of the process, too, in my opinion. Don't be afraid to ask her out again, wait a day, or two, but, DO ask her out again, IF her body language was saying she was impressed by your asking but just is a girl that won't say 'yes' to a guy the first time, no matter what.

Someone already said on here that some girls do that 'no' the first time, no, it's NOT just in movies, as stilledwaters alluded. So, just have faith in God to bring that guy back.

I, personally, LIKE that a girl says , 'No, maybe, another time,' or, 'No, I'm already going with my family out tonight.'

Those kind of words CAN tell a guy that they need to quickly say, then and there, 'Ok, that's fine, I'm not giving you much time to get ready, what about tomorrow night?'


This way, she gets to say 'no' and then 'yes.'

Most importantly, all this said, pray, pray, pray, guys, that's MY spiritual answer. Again, I appreciate hearing both the 'yes' and 'no' votes, by miladies. It ALL adds a whole bunch of perspective to guys everywhere :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#39
sounds like a stalker type thing to me.

Greenie, if I were still dating I prefer this option: "make small talk that first time, get to know you some, and, come back again a few days or so later and THEN ask you out".

I want to actually know the guy a little bit before I agree to go or do anything with them. otherwise its kind of creepy.

If a guy kept asking me out over and over again after I said NO, then I would have my brothers scare him off.

however there is a difference between a NO and a maybe. Typically if I'm kind of interested I'll tell them to ask me again some other time, or tell them maybe. If I tell a guy no, then I typically mean no. sometimes I mean "no thanks" "there is no way on God's green earth." "no NO triple NO"
I agree. I would go through her grocery line a time, or, two, and, get to know her a little, make her laugh, tell a little about yourself, even, BEFORE, then, on date #3, since 3rd times the charm :D , spring the big question on her and READ, READ, READ, READ into her body language and actual words said back to you and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY at the same time that she will say 'yes,' or, as HismermaidAriel says, 'maybe,' even though she may not say 'maybe,' she probably WON'T say 'maybe,' but she will use words that represent a 'maybe.' :)
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#40
Well, it is not a yes or no question. ^

It's a maybe question. It depends on many factors.

Are they friends? (yes, he should try again if he really likes her, it's better than living a lie)
Is he a stranger? (no... he probably shouldn't ask more than once unless they exchange numbers and talk for a bit, and only if it goes well)
Is she shy? (maybe he should try again if he wants, just once, a week later)
Is she saying no for reasons having to do with her life being a chaotic mess right now? (yes he could ask again if he wants, but give her some time)
Is she comfortable in his presence? (yes, he could ask again...but don't push if the vibes aren't right)
Has she shown signs of being absolutely disinterested in him? (no, he should respect her first answer and try someone else)


There, my crazy mix of yesses and nos. :p
I voted ''no'' but this is what I would've voted for if it were in the poll :)