How to get an ideal spouse

[Coil]

Most of us single people, including me, have some sort of "ideal man/woman" list.


I can't help but read my own list and see such hypocrisy. I don't think I should have such high demands on a possible significant other that I don't even have for myself.


So, I have a new and improved list, and it's not for my ideal future husband, but for my ideal self, and maybe someday as a wife.


**What about all you other single people? What are your goals for yourself?


Spiritually
1. Read, pray and live out the Word of God. I want a desire and thirst for the Word of God and the diligence to live it out in my daily life.
2. Be active in a Godly community, constantly learning and serving


Emotionally
3. Treat people with maturity, respect and love, even when it takes all the patience I can muster
4. Listen and communicate well with all kinds of people
5. Have a teachable and humble attitude when I'm wrong or right
6. Know how and when to give an apology and receive one with grace (not throw it back in their face later on)


Physically
7. Stay in good shape by eating healthfully and exercising regularly
8. Maintain a clean, modest, and attractive appearance


Personally
9. Maintain close, healthy relationships with friends and especially family members
10. Develop and strive towards interests and hobbies to utilize talents or just add some fun to daily life!
11. Learn the value of rest


Personality
12. Keep an easy-going attitude and don't sweat the small things
13. Know when to have a fun, sociable time and when to have a serious conversation

 

[Jesusismyrock]

That's a pretty good list.

 

[CatHerder]

I love this! So many only focus on what, and who, they want in a spouse without considering that the other person will also have wants and needs.

That someone so young (just guessing by your avatar) is being so introspective and realizing that the other person will also have legitimate wants and needs is encouraging!

A wise one, this Coil.

 

[Richie_2uk]

Hello Coil: Just trust God as he knows the desires of your heart. Many people seek relatiosnhips without God's guidence, or having God in the center of there lives. Many people think they can do it without God's will. But end up Broken marriages, broken relationships. We are but perfect, and we can never do all things without the love of God, without the strength of God, and most important, without the will of God.

Lean not on your own understanding, but lean towards God's true understaning. and listen, and pray, and have God in the center of everything. You will then be faithful to find the right partner that God has for you. God bless. I pray that you will find your ideal spouse through Jesus. Amen.........

 

[SteffyJ]

I love this. Instead on focusing on what our perfect partner should be, we could be the perfect partner for that person.

 

[george376]

The list is a very good list but in sight of Giod what will see as a good and acceptable might not really be in Gods view................... According to Jeremiah" As the heaven is above the earth so also Gods way above human comprehension............ we all pray that the lord should have his way in our life.

Most of us single people, including me, have some sort of "ideal man/woman" list.


I can't help but read my own list and see such hypocrisy. I don't think I should have such high demands on a possible significant other that I don't even have for myself.


So, I have a new and improved list, and it's not for my ideal future husband, but for my ideal self, and maybe someday as a wife.


**What about all you other single people? What are your goals for yourself?


Spiritually
1. Read, pray and live out the Word of God. I want a desire and thirst for the Word of God and the diligence to live it out in my daily life.
2. Be active in a Godly community, constantly learning and serving


Emotionally
3. Treat people with maturity, respect and love, even when it takes all the patience I can muster
4. Listen and communicate well with all kinds of people
5. Have a teachable and humble attitude when I'm wrong or right
6. Know how and when to give an apology and receive one with grace (not throw it back in their face later on)


Physically
7. Stay in good shape by eating healthfully and exercising regularly
8. Maintain a clean, modest, and attractive appearance


Personally
9. Maintain close, healthy relationships with friends and especially family members
10. Develop and strive towards interests and hobbies to utilize talents or just add some fun to daily life!
11. Learn the value of rest


Personality
12. Keep an easy-going attitude and don't sweat the small things
13. Know when to have a fun, sociable time and when to have a serious conversation

 

[kayem77]

I love this! If everyone strived to improve themselves instead of improving others, everything would be different. Btw, welcome to the forums

 

[Misty77]

Coil, thanks for explaining such an important concept. We get so focused on what WE want in a spouse that we don't ask God who HE has for us or what kind of mate we are supposed to become.

 

[rachelsedge]

This is great. It reminds me of a quote I read a few years ago:

"We're so focused on what we want in a future mate that we don't focus on who that person will be marrying."

 

[Guardian777]

Great list Coil!

 

[maxwel]

what are your goals for yourself?

I'm pretty happy if I can get up each day and be less of an idiot than the day before.

: )

 

[ServantStrike]

Fire on the inside!

Love of Christ. That's what want more of for me, and what I want in a future wife (if I find her). I want a woman who loves God more than she could ever possibly love me. First I want a full time job though, as it's pretty much woman repellent to be unemployed lol.

Also, I am a bit overweight so I want to shed some pounds, but given the fact that I just got over major health issues (and am still recovering) I think I'm doing pretty well, although not as well as I should be. Too much is not enough!

So, really only two things. All consuming fire from God, and a desire to improve one's self. Anyone who has those two things is a winner. I like winning.

 

[MySavior]

awesome list

 

[TheAristocat]

Know when to have a fun, sociable time and when to have a serious conversation

I remind myself of this often as it has been a shortcoming of mine in the past.

 

[Coil]

I love this! So many only focus on what, and who, they want in a spouse without considering that the other person will also have wants and needs.

That someone so young (just guessing by your avatar) is being so introspective and realizing that the other person will also have legitimate wants and needs is encouraging!

A wise one, this Coil.

Thank you!

 

[Coil]

I'm still really curious, though, of what your goals for yourself are! No one really answered fully

I know it's easier to make goals for a future, ideal person that may or may not exist, but what about the future ideal you?!

 

[mystdancer50]

The future 'ideal' me is to become who Christ sees me as. To have the fruits of the spirit and not the dead and rotting fruit of this world. To be able to live what I say. To do what God has called me to do and to do it with passion and humility. To truly live love, not just claim to do so. To edify and encourage and strengthen others with Holy Spirit led words and actions. To truly know Jesus, to draw into His presence and to worship Him with every part of me engaged, to seek His face daily, to sit at His feet, to rest in His embrace, to be His unapologetically, to be holy as He is holy.

 

[Sajjad]

dear how r u

 

[wisebeardman]

i dont make goals or any thing like that. i just take things as they come.

 

[Jullianna]

Spiritually - I must decrease that He might increase. I want to learn to surrender my will for His far more quickly than I often do. Not because I don't want to, but because I sometimes don't know how to go about it or because I think I might hurt someone else in the process. Not doing so results in frustration and stress. Life is far more abundant, peaceful and fruitful when I do. Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Emotionally - I would like to open up more, be more social, show my playful side more. I would like to be more of a participant in life than the guardian/observer I have been for a couple of years. I've stepped away from others for far too long. I need to get back in there.

Physically - Continue to enjoy running/cycling/dance to stay in shape and as a means of dealing with stress. I have been grabbing whatever is convenient to eat lately though. Need to stop that.

Personally - I value my quiet time and privacy, but I need to be less selfish about this. I am there for friends and family when they need me, but I need to spend more fun time with them as well and less time working. This means I will probably have to answer my phone more. Ack.

Personality - I need to find a way to separate the me I need to be when I'm working from the me I would like to be off the clock. I know there's no switch I can flip to make the walls come up and down more easily, but hopefully there will come a day when I won't need them quite as much.