Predestined For Bachelorhood?

[Art05]

So this is a thought I've had ever since the Lord saved me back in 2007. I was 18, had never had a girlfriend (not even a little thing in high school), and I knew absolutely NO girl my age that was a Christian. Predestined to be single ... it was an idea formed from impulse. My (new) pastor's wife had asked me about my relationship status & past (which is always embarrassing), and I blurted out that I was predestined to be single, meaning that I was to be alone for the rest of my life. She scoffed at what I told her, responding, What does that even mean?

I admit that I said this somewhat amusingly; at this point in my life, being recently born again and excited of spiritual things, I had never seriously thought of me being with someone, for I had no friends (and I still do not) and I knew no one of the female gender that professed salvation (and, sadly, I still do not). But this idea of God sovereignly setting me to live my days without a mate stayed with me; the thought sometimes haunted me, bringing sadness and fear; sometimes, I would accept it as if it was a commandment from Sinai, proudly, and ready to face the loneliness.

Well, these emotions were like beasts within me, and as I lived life, and heard messages on marriage and holiness in courtship; as I saw young Christians (younger than me) arrive at a relationship, then that beast of sadness and jealousy won, and now I am here; still with the same emotions, still without any promising girl to be my future spouse, still without friends, and still single.

So I'd like to hear how you feel. Have any of you ever had the same thought? Does God foreordain some of His children to remain single, never allowing (through His providence) them to ever marry? Or do we have more of a choice in the matter?

(As a bonus point of discussion, If God predestines us to be saved and others to damnation, then why not some to marriage and others to singleness?)

 

[mykim]

I am 28, never been in a relationship either. I have already accepted the fact that I will never meet someone. Of course, I am not ok with that.

It is a really awful situation because I fail as a person in every way, so marriage is not in my future. But i also hate being celibate so it is like being in a battle i cannot win. Jokes on me i guess

 

[Fenner]

At one point I did think I would never meet the right person. I did get married when I was 29. I did date, but I would not recommend dating a bunch of people, it's a lot of drama and really not a very good Christian lifestyle.

 

[LightningClap0002]

I'm 28 and have been in two serious relationships. The first, I have no doubt God wanted me to be in. I learned a lot... albeit some of it learned the hard way.

Over the past couple of years, God has showed me very clearly and definitively that His will for me is to remain single. It's been hard, I've had to turn great girls down (and try to do it without sounding like I'm blaming God). He's shown me how much faith it requires to be able to go through life with just God. In the end, though, that is truly what He has always desired from us. Not splitting our allegiance or love, but relying entirely upon Him;

So yes, I absolutely think that there are people that God has given the ability to tackle life alone. People who are able to fully rely on God. But in the end, I've also come to realize that there are undoubtedly benefits to marriage as well. So I know that I, myself, desire a wife. But I see God desires me to be single. I don't know what the future holds, God instructs us to take one day at a time, but for now I am remaining single and honoring God's desire by doing so.

 

[Searching4Truth]

Sounds like some self-esteem problems are mixed in there.

Listen dude, if you think that you were predestined to be single, then embrace it. If not, then LEARN from your failures.

It is a really awful situation because I fail as a person in every way

I need you to elaborate a little more, because you obviously succeeded at something here.

 

[mykim]

Sounds like some self-esteem problems are mixed in there.

Listen dude, if you think that you were predestined to be single, then embrace it. If not, then LEARN from your failures.



I need you to elaborate a little more, because you obviously succeeded at something here.

i dont want to derail this thread with my lame story, but I fail in all these areas: bad looks, no job, no house, bad health, can't talk to women, and weak faith

So marriage will never be an option for me.

 

[Ugly]

i dont want to derail this thread with my lame story, but I fail in all these areas: bad looks, no job, no house, bad health, can't talk to women, and weak faith

So marriage will never be an option for me.

Sorry. But... what a load of crap. You look like a decent looking guy to me (no i'm not gay, but ugly is ugly no matter what gender), you'll find a job eventually, don't need a house.. an apartment will do, which you can get when you get a job.

I am not much to look at, i haven't worked in 5 years do to health issues, i don't have a house, i'm socially awkward in general, and my faith isn't that great. I could go on with the things going against me. But yet it hasn't prevented me from having serious relationships. These things you say aren't your problem. Its your attitude. And a woman will pick up on it and you will run her off before she has a chance to get to know you. You want to have a chance with a woman? Quit wallowing in self pity, man up a bit and live your life. Maybe you can't provide the world to a woman, but if you provide her with love and a decent heart she won't care about the rest.

 

[mykim]

Sorry. But... what a load of crap. You look like a decent looking guy to me (no i'm not gay, but ugly is ugly no matter what gender), you'll find a job eventually, don't need a house.. an apartment will do, which you can get when you get a job.

I am not much to look at, i haven't worked in 5 years do to health issues, i don't have a house, i'm socially awkward in general, and my faith isn't that great. I could go on with the things going against me. But yet it hasn't prevented me from having serious relationships. These things you say aren't your problem. Its your attitude. And a woman will pick up on it and you will run her off before she has a chance to get to know you. You want to have a chance with a woman? Quit wallowing in self pity, man up a bit and live your life. Maybe you can't provide the world to a woman, but if you provide her with love and a decent heart she won't care about the rest.

I look worse in person. It is a webcam pic, so it makes my face look smaller than it really is. I got bad blemished and scarred skin. I did try so hard to get a job as a personal trainer a few years ago, and it never worked out. All of my interviews just fell through. Now I have years without working so it looks bad on my resume, and I am not qualified for any decent paying job.

Also, you probably read it from my old thread, but i suffer from cold sweaty hands, so it makes me not want to socialize with people. Yeah i am sure a woman would love my nasty touch. I personally cannot stand people with hands like mine too but those kind of people are pretty rare. Most people seem to have nice warm dry hands.

 

[Searching4Truth]

i dont want to derail this thread with my lame story, but I fail in all these areas: bad looks, no job, no house, bad health, can't talk to women, and weak faith

So marriage will never be an option for me.

Bad looks? Good. Most men weren't meant to look pretty. Opens you up for people to see what's on the inside. No job? Eh. Who needs the stress, right? No house? The birds have nest, and the foxes have dens, but the son of man has no place to put his head. Bad health? Well, maybe it's just a shorter visit for you on this planet. Besides, if you believe in what Jesus said about eternal life, then all of this, all this pain, all your suffering won't even be a memory anymore. Can't talk to women? Then maybe your story belongs to those exactly like you who really need that encouragement, that little boost to press forward. Weak faith? Well, all you need is a mustard seed's worth.

 

[Ugly]

I look worse in person. It is a webcam pic, so it makes my face look smaller than it really is. I got bad blemished and scarred skin. I did try so hard to get a job as a personal trainer a few years ago, and it never worked out. All of my interviews just fell through. Now I have years without working so it looks bad on my resume, and I am not qualified for any decent paying job.

Also, you probably read it from my old thread, but i suffer from cold sweaty hands, so it makes me not want to socialize with people. Yeah i am sure a woman would love my nasty touch. I personally cannot stand people with hands like mine too but those kind of people are pretty rare. Most people seem to have nice warm dry hands.

Wah wah wah... have fun wallowing alone in your pity party then. Any one of us could find a lot of reasons why someone wouldn't want us. Personally, you have yet to say anything so bad that i can't top. And i will say it again, and not bother responding to any of your other wallowing pity posts. The problem is your attitude. Its that simple.

 

[mykim]

Bad looks? Good. Most men weren't meant to look pretty. Opens you up for people to see what's on the inside. No job? Eh. Who needs the stress, right? No house? The birds have nest, and the foxes have dens, but the son of man has no place to put his head. Bad health? Well, maybe it's just a shorter visit for you on this planet. Besides, if you believe in what Jesus said about eternal life, then all of this, all this pain, all your suffering won't even be a memory anymore. Can't talk to women? Then maybe your story belongs to those exactly like you who really need that encouragement, that little boost to press forward. Weak faith? Well, all you need is a mustard seed's worth.

I admire your positive attitude. I wish I was not always so negative, but it is hard because I feel like I was screwed by horrid genetics and bad circumstances.

Yes it is nice to have the hope of eternal life through Jesus, but at the same time, I feel sad that I will never experience the love of a beautiful christian woman. I will feel like I missed out on a great experience.

I guess I feel depressed about the fact that we end up becoming immortal eunuchs after we pass. The marriage less state of heaven and post resurrection is what drove me away from the lord a long time ago. I have come back, but it is still a difficult thing to understand. I know that everyone who ends up in heaven will be happy, but it still bothers me.

Wah wah wah... have fun wallowing alone in your pity party then. Any one of us could find a lot of reasons why someone wouldn't want us. Personally, you have yet to say anything so bad that i can't top. And i will say it again, and not bother responding to any of your other wallowing pity posts. The problem is your attitude. Its that simple.

i could not care less. you are not me, you don't know what I deal with. not everyone is the same

 

[DragonSlayer]

I admire your positive attitude. I wish I was not always so negative, but it is hard because I feel like I was screwed by horrid genetics and bad circumstances.

Yes it is nice to have the hope of eternal life through Jesus, but at the same time, I feel sad that I will never experience the love of a beautiful christian woman. I will feel like I missed out on a great experience.

I guess I feel depressed about the fact that we end up becoming immortal eunuchs after we pass. The marriage less state of heaven and post resurrection is what drove me away from the lord a long time ago. I have come back, but it is still a difficult thing to understand. I know that everyone who ends up in heaven will be happy, but it still bothers me.




i could not care less. you are not me, you don't know what I deal with. not everyone is the same

No way ! To tell we would be " immortal eunuchs " in the new earth is a big lie from the Vatican !
It's a big lie from Satan !
Were Adam and Eve created to live as " immortal eunuchs " ? Obviously not ! Have they not disobeyed the Lord,
Adam and Eve would still be together and alive today, with billions of couples man-woman today !
The new earth is the restoration of what the Lord had in His heart before He created the Universe and all that is in it !
And before lucifer betrayed Him !
Do you want Scriptural proof ?
Here we go :
It's written :
" How long wilt thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? for the Lord hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man. " Jeremiah 31:22 ( KJV )

It's written :

" The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lordshall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory.20 Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended.
21 Thy people also shall be all righteous: they shall inherit the land for ever, the branch of my planting, the work of my hands, that I may be glorified.
22 A little one shall become a thousand, and a small one a strong nation: I the Lord will hasten it in his time. " Isaiah 60:19-22 ( KJV )

So the Scriptures clearly say that a little one among the saved ones shall become a thousand in the new earth !
How could eunuchs multiply ? Jesus is Life !
And the union between man and woman will last forever !
The union between man and woman will be sublimed in the new earth !
What Jesus said in the NT does not mean union between man and woman would be abolished in the new earth, but rather it means that the earthy institution of marriage will have no need to exist, because every union of a man and a woman will last forever !
The fact that there will be no more earthy institution of church in the new earth does not mean the Church would be abolished, but rather it means there will be no need of it in the new earth because the Whole Creation will be renewed and sanctified as it is in Heaven !

 

[mykim]

No way ! To tell we would be " immortal eunuchs " in the new earth is a big lie from the Vatican !
It's a big lie from Satan !
Were Adam and Eve created to live as " immortal eunuchs " ? Obviously not ! Have they not disobeyed the Lord,
Adam and Eve would still be together and alive today, with billions of couples man-woman today !
The new earth is the restoration of what the Lord had in His heart before He created the Universe and all that is in it !
And before lucifer betrayed Him !
Do you want Scriptural proof ?
Here we go :
It's written :
" How long wilt thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? for the Lord hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man. " Jeremiah 31:22 ( KJV )

It's written :

" The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lordshall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory.20 Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended.
21 Thy people also shall be all righteous: they shall inherit the land for ever, the branch of my planting, the work of my hands, that I may be glorified.
22 A little one shall become a thousand, and a small one a strong nation: I the Lord will hasten it in his time. " Isaiah 60:19-22 ( KJV )

So the Scriptures clearly say that a little one among the saved ones shall become a thousand in the new earth !
How could eunuchs multiply ? Jesus is Life !
And the union between man and woman will last forever !
The union between man and woman will be sublimed in the new earth !
What Jesus said in the NT does not mean union between man and woman would be abolished in the new earth, but rather it means that the earthy institution of marriage will have no need to exist, because every union of a man and a woman will last forever !
The fact that there will be no more earthy institution of church in the new earth does not mean the Church would be abolished, but rather it means there will be no need of it in the new earth because the Whole Creation will be renewed and sanctified as it is in Heaven !

Thanks for sharing that. I came to that conclusion because Jesus said that we would be like angels after we pass and in the resurrection. Angels are forbidden to have sexual desires though. What also bothers me is why did the angels come down to earth to have relationships with earthly women.

If they are so satisfied in heaven, why did they even have to degrade themselves by taking those women.

But if we get to live normal human lives with perfect bodies on a new earth, that would be pretty amazing and worth waiting for.

 

[DragonSlayer]

As for your health problems, I can relate to some parts of what you said. I got chicken pox late in my adolescence, and I still have chicken spot holes / scars on my face. I was very sad on the beginning to have them, because before I got chicken pox, I had such a pretty face with a perfect skin and no scar whatsoever !
Well, in time, the scars diminished, but they are still there.
It didn't stop several pretty girls to find me handsome with a great personality !
I got a bad inguinal scrotal hernia several years ago, and long story, got naturally cured (without surgery )from it by stopping fluoride toothpaste ( fluoride is a systemic bio-cumulative poison which has nothing to do in toothpaste or tap water ), by reducing my meals to 2 times a day instead of 3, and by eating more fruit and white meat.
I didn't really believed it was possible to naturally get cured from it, until I did, as I'm the living proof, by the Lord's Grace !

I'm sure your health problems have a natural solution; you just don't know it yet.
Modern medicine usually look down on natural cures,
because they don't bring a lot of profit to their big boss " big pharma ";
but from my own experience, that's the best way to go !

 

[Ritter]

I thought I was predestined to be single. Then I met a young woman who will eventually be my wife.

I'm not perfect. My personal financial prospects are purely potential. My eyesight is rather poor. I have had precious little luck with women. Yet God brought us together.

It may have been "predestined" but it still required some effort on my part.

 

[DragonSlayer]

Thanks for sharing that. I came to that conclusion because Jesus said that we would be like angels after we pass and in the resurrection. Angels are forbidden to have sexual desires though. What also bothers me is why did the angels come down to earth to have relationships with earthly women.

If they are so satisfied in heaven, why did they even have to degrade themselves by taking those women.

But if we get to live normal human lives with perfect bodies on a new earth, that would be pretty amazing and worth waiting for.

You are welcome. Yes, I know about what Jesus said, but the Vatican distorted what He said to justify their false doctrine of forced celibacy to Vatican's priests; it's all lies !

Angels never took women on earth. Jesus is Life ! We are not alone in the Universe, and the Sons of God mentioned in Genesis and in Job are not angels, but rather they are humanoid aliens ! Angels are not made in the image of God ! So they cannot be called " Sons of God ". Only beings made in the image of God could be called like it, so they are certainly not angels. Besides, only God creates life, and without His benediction, no life is created. You would notice in Genesis God gave His benediction to every species to multiply, and those species cannot multiply outside of the benediction God gave them.
Angels are not carnal beings, they are spirits !
God never gave them the benediction to multiply, and never will, because He created them that way !
To say it's possible to create life independently from the benediction and will of God is a heresy !

So the Sons of God mentioned in Genesis and Job are humanoid aliens from other worlds God created in the Universe !

Yes, it would be wonderful and worth waiting for ! Absolutely !

 

[mykim]

As for your health problems, I can relate to some parts of what you said. I got chicken pox late in my adolescence, and I still have chicken spot holes / scars on my face. I was very sad on the beginning to have them, because before I got chicken pox, I had such a pretty face with a perfect skin and no scar whatsoever !
Well, in time, the scars diminished, but they are still there.
It didn't stop several pretty girls to find me handsome with a great personality !
I got a bad inguinal scrotal hernia several years ago, and long story, got naturally cured (without surgery )from it by stopping fluoride toothpaste ( fluoride is a systemic bio-cumulative poison which has nothing to do in toothpaste or tap water ), by reducing my meals to 2 times a day instead of 3, and by eating more fruit and white meat.
I didn't really believed it was possible to naturally get cured from it, until I did, as I'm the living proof, by the Lord's Grace !

I'm sure your health problems have a natural solution; you just don't know it yet.
Modern medicine usually look down on natural cures,
because they don't bring a lot of profit to their big boss " big pharma ";
but from my own experience, that's the best way to go !

I also follow natural health and I know what causes my health problems. The problem is that the special diet and herbal remedies that are required are a bit too costly. Organic produce costs an arm and a leg, so I am just hanging in there.

You are welcome. Yes, I know about what Jesus said, but the Vatican distorted what He said to justify their false doctrine of forced celibacy to Vatican's priests; it's all lies !

Angels never took women on earth. Jesus is Life ! We are not alone in the Universe, and the Sons of God mentioned in Genesis and in Job are not angels, but rather they are humanoid aliens ! Angels are not made in the image of God ! So they cannot be called " Sons of God ". Only beings made in the image of God could be called like it, so they are certainly not angels. Besides, only God creates life, and without His benediction, no life is created. You would notice in Genesis God gave His benediction to every species to multiply, and those species cannot multiply outside of the benediction God gave them.
Angels are not carnal beings, they are spirits !
God never gave them the benediction to multiply, and never will, because He created them that way !
To say it's possible to create life independently from the benediction and will of God is a heresy !

So the Sons of God mentioned in Genesis and Job are humanoid aliens from other worlds God created in the Universe !

Yes, it would be wonderful and worth waiting for ! Absolutely !

That's a bit mind blowing. I thought the sons of god mentioned in Genesis were angels.

 

[Art05]

I'm astonished to see how fast threads become derailed in ChristianChat.

And what I'm saying has nothing to do with any doctrine from the Romish cult known as Catholicism. To say that would be historically ignorant and patently absurd. Even if you ask any priest who HAS TAKEN his vow of celibacy, they themselves admit that it is their choice; in this topic, the predestination is from God, and not of our own will. They consider it a sacrifice in order to serve the Lord; in being predestined, in spite of how much we desire to be with someone, it cannot happen for various providential reasons. This is the general point of this thread.

But since associating what I'm saying with anything the Romish cult has their priests do is basically an opinion, it unfortunately must remain.

 

[Art05]

Sorry. But... what a load of crap. You look like a decent looking guy to me (no i'm not gay, but ugly is ugly no matter what gender), you'll find a job eventually, don't need a house.. an apartment will do, which you can get when you get a job.

I am not much to look at, i haven't worked in 5 years do to health issues, i don't have a house, i'm socially awkward in general, and my faith isn't that great. I could go on with the things going against me. But yet it hasn't prevented me from having serious relationships. These things you say aren't your problem. Its your attitude. And a woman will pick up on it and you will run her off before she has a chance to get to know you. You want to have a chance with a woman? Quit wallowing in self pity, man up a bit and live your life. Maybe you can't provide the world to a woman, but if you provide her with love and a decent heart she won't care about the rest.

"And she won't care about the rest"? LOL! Now that's a load of dung, my friend!

And by the way, next time you want to insult people on my threads, expect to be reported.

I hate curse words, and I hate nasty, abusive behavior from people that give such shallow advice. You've been warned.

 

[Art05]

I look worse in person. It is a webcam pic, so it makes my face look smaller than it really is. I got bad blemished and scarred skin. I did try so hard to get a job as a personal trainer a few years ago, and it never worked out. All of my interviews just fell through. Now I have years without working so it looks bad on my resume, and I am not qualified for any decent paying job.

Also, you probably read it from my old thread, but i suffer from cold sweaty hands, so it makes me not want to socialize with people. Yeah i am sure a woman would love my nasty touch. I personally cannot stand people with hands like mine too but those kind of people are pretty rare. Most people seem to have nice warm dry hands.

Understood, brother. And although I am no one to give advice to you, I just want to say that cold, sweaty hands shouldn't stop you from socializing. If you're saved (and I hope you are), then join a church. As you grow in grace, God will open many windows and doors, and you'll be able to do many things. God can use anyone in anything He wants.

Although I don't agree with the nasty attitude of one that responded to you, one thing he said can be true: you can find a job eventually. Plus, you know you need one. So although this is a reason women wouldn't consider you (I'm in the same boat, brother), my advice on this to you is to keep trying to find a job. It's godly to work.

I know all about the "looks" problem, my friend. I'm in the same boat with you in that as well. But it sounds to me that you have to use your precious time to figure out how to better yourself at the moment before worrying about women (lol).

Hey ... that goes for me as well.