Okay let me give it to you from her side now, I was an only child raised by a mother and I did not know my Father. I hated my mom. I'm 48 now and wish things had been different. First I was angry because we weren't a real family just 2. Also, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I bet she's doing drugs. I started drugs just about that time to try and numb the pain. (my opinion) 3. My mother had no one else so I was constantly under a microscope. Make sure you have a life and let her search your life instead of you always wanting in hers. 4, Move. My mother moved us out of Calif to Texas. The best thing that happened to me. A new fresh start. First thing I did was try to find drugs however it was hard so I actually made friends who were good for me. I don't know if you do this, but my mother never would tell me anything. Not if things were okay financially or if someone hurt her at work, nothing. I tell my kids just about everything. They know when we are financially strapped. If we need to sell cows. If the car isn't working they are truly a part of my life. I don't know if this helps but somehow the both of you need a third wheel to spin things off of. I have 3 children there is just one whose relationship is similar to my mom and I, however, I give her alot of space. She is a great kid I was not. So, I know things in our relationship are better. Really look into drugs or alcohol. She would smell like smoke, come home real late just yell hi, and head straight to her room. Spend night at friends then sneak out. I don't know her I'm just relating what I did to deal with my relationship with my mom.
I hoped this helped since their were a few similarities.
