A
I have been married just under a year. We are both young, 24 years old. We dated about 8 months and were engaged for another 8.
Here's the thing, mentally it's quite perplexing to me emotionally. I love me wife. I have examined myself many times to truly believe I married her with the best intentions. The reason I say this is we attend a very traditional (conservative) church i.e. I was a virgin when I married. So i have often thought if I rushed into things because I was well, horny, and as the bible says better to marry than to burn...
I do not believe I married for this reason but i'm not going to say it wasn't in mind, I'm human. There's a lot that's occurred/ occurring so I'll try to hit the major points on why I am contemplating leaving at this point.
My wife's been out of work most of the year, it's been taxing financially and it wouldn't be as big of an issue except she is bad with money and buys fast food a lot when financially the only thing we should be eating right now is ramen noodles as an example
Sex. We have had sex three times in the last 8 months roughly. Altogether there is no passion and there is no intimacy
Trust. There's very little to none of this. As a Christian I was brought up to believe the man is the priest of the household. That's not to say that I believe women are lesser to men but that a certain respect should be given and trust should be given to him - there is none of that.
We argue all the time and it never leads to anything positive - I contacted my church a few months ago to let them know there were issues, that I wanted counsel but my wife wouldn't go. To her credit it was simply she didn't feel comfortable talking out marital issues to people we knew. I have since started seeing an individual therapist and we may still go for secular marriage therapy
Honestly - I'm loosing hope, I have very little faith that any form of happiness will be restored to this marriage and I really just want out but I feel so horrible for feeling that way. It's a catch 22 - I'm unhappy in this state but I feel like any action I could take would lead to some other form of unhappiness, regret or the like.
I have not and will not cheat on my wife but physically and more importantly emotionally I'm starved - I have these day dreams where I'm literally going on dates with other women and we're smiling and talking and getting to know each and I'm happy at the thought of getting to know and connecting with someone else because I have no connection with my own wife.
I love her but I no longer want to be with her, is that possible or am I lying to myself somehow?
That's the gist of it.
Thoughts, feelings, advice, experience both biblical and even secular would be great.
Here's the thing, mentally it's quite perplexing to me emotionally. I love me wife. I have examined myself many times to truly believe I married her with the best intentions. The reason I say this is we attend a very traditional (conservative) church i.e. I was a virgin when I married. So i have often thought if I rushed into things because I was well, horny, and as the bible says better to marry than to burn...
I do not believe I married for this reason but i'm not going to say it wasn't in mind, I'm human. There's a lot that's occurred/ occurring so I'll try to hit the major points on why I am contemplating leaving at this point.
My wife's been out of work most of the year, it's been taxing financially and it wouldn't be as big of an issue except she is bad with money and buys fast food a lot when financially the only thing we should be eating right now is ramen noodles as an example
Sex. We have had sex three times in the last 8 months roughly. Altogether there is no passion and there is no intimacy
Trust. There's very little to none of this. As a Christian I was brought up to believe the man is the priest of the household. That's not to say that I believe women are lesser to men but that a certain respect should be given and trust should be given to him - there is none of that.
We argue all the time and it never leads to anything positive - I contacted my church a few months ago to let them know there were issues, that I wanted counsel but my wife wouldn't go. To her credit it was simply she didn't feel comfortable talking out marital issues to people we knew. I have since started seeing an individual therapist and we may still go for secular marriage therapy
Honestly - I'm loosing hope, I have very little faith that any form of happiness will be restored to this marriage and I really just want out but I feel so horrible for feeling that way. It's a catch 22 - I'm unhappy in this state but I feel like any action I could take would lead to some other form of unhappiness, regret or the like.
I have not and will not cheat on my wife but physically and more importantly emotionally I'm starved - I have these day dreams where I'm literally going on dates with other women and we're smiling and talking and getting to know each and I'm happy at the thought of getting to know and connecting with someone else because I have no connection with my own wife.
I love her but I no longer want to be with her, is that possible or am I lying to myself somehow?
That's the gist of it.
Thoughts, feelings, advice, experience both biblical and even secular would be great.