J
I have felt for a very long time that this was a thread we needed in this forum. A post I just read from a new member made me realize how long overdue it is.
Before we begin, I want to state very clearly that both men and women can be abusers and both men and women can suffer abuse. I do not want this thread to turn into a bash session against men. Women do it too. So, please stay on topic and let's not turn this into a gender war thread. The purpose of this thread is SOLELY to help singles identify possible abusive relationships so they can run the other way before it's too late. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?
That said, if you have information that could help identify abusive behaviors/relationships, please share it here with others. Again, please, please, please keep a civil tone and share only information that is edifying and beneficial to others who may fall victim to abusive situations. It is my hope that it will be stickied at some point by a mod so that singles in need of this information can readily find it.
God bless you and thank you in advance for your kind assistance, cooperation and prayers for those in abusive situations.
This is one of the best links I've found on the subject. You can find a lot of helpful information there:
Red Flag Campaign | Red Flags for Abusive Relationships
Red Flags for Abusive Relationships
The following is a list of warning signs for potentially abusive relationships. They are presented as guidelines and cues to pay attention to, not as judgments on the worth of the other person.
Question relationships with partners who:
Some other cues that might indicate an abusive relationship might include:
Before we begin, I want to state very clearly that both men and women can be abusers and both men and women can suffer abuse. I do not want this thread to turn into a bash session against men. Women do it too. So, please stay on topic and let's not turn this into a gender war thread. The purpose of this thread is SOLELY to help singles identify possible abusive relationships so they can run the other way before it's too late. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?
That said, if you have information that could help identify abusive behaviors/relationships, please share it here with others. Again, please, please, please keep a civil tone and share only information that is edifying and beneficial to others who may fall victim to abusive situations. It is my hope that it will be stickied at some point by a mod so that singles in need of this information can readily find it.
God bless you and thank you in advance for your kind assistance, cooperation and prayers for those in abusive situations.
This is one of the best links I've found on the subject. You can find a lot of helpful information there:
Red Flag Campaign | Red Flags for Abusive Relationships
Red Flags for Abusive Relationships
The following is a list of warning signs for potentially abusive relationships. They are presented as guidelines and cues to pay attention to, not as judgments on the worth of the other person.
Question relationships with partners who:
- Abuse alcohol or other drugs.
- Have a history of trouble with the law, get into fights, or break and destroy property.
- Don’t work or go to school.
- Blame you for how they treat you, or for anything bad that happens.
- Abuse siblings, other family members, children or pets.
- Put down people, including your family and friends, or call them names.
- Are always angry at someone or something.
- Try to isolate you and control whom you see or where you go.
- Nag you or force you to be sexual when you don’t want to be.
- Cheat on you or have lots of partners.
- Are physically rough with you (push, shove, pull, yank, squeeze, restrain).
- Take your money or take advantage of you in other ways.
- Accuse you of flirting or “coming on” to others or accuse you of cheating on them.
- Don’t listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings. . .things always have to be done their way.
- Ignore you, give you the silent treatment, or hang up on you.
- Lie to you, don’t show up for dates, maybe even disappear for days.
- Make vulgar comments about others in your presence
- Blame all arguments and problems on you.
- Tell you how to dress or act.
- Threaten to kill themselves if you break up with them, or tell you that they cannot live without you.
- Experience extreme mood swings. . .tell you you’re the greatest one minute and rip you apart the next minute.
- Tell you to shut up or tell you you’re dumb, stupid, fat, or call you some other name (directly or indirectly).
- Compare you to former partners.
Some other cues that might indicate an abusive relationship might include:
- You feel afraid to break up with them.
- You feel tied down, feel like you have to check-in.
- You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects so that the other person won’t get mad.
- You tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will be just fine.
- You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy.
- You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy.
- You find the physical or emotional abuse getting worse over time.